Nessie's Story
by Katiebellacullen
Summary: When you're a teenage half-vampire with a father who can hear your every thought, how do your deal with your feelings when you fall for a certain wolf? This is Nessie's story. Cannon pairings, all characters, lemons - later chapters.
1. Prologue

**A/N: I had this story in my head the moment I finished reading Breaking Dawn. Jacob and Ness are now of age in their world and will act accordingly, as such, there will be lemons in later chapters. Ness is Bella's daughter, afterall. All pairings and characters as canon as I could make them. The characters, of course, all belong to Stephenie Meyer - I am just having fun in her world.**

Prologue

I moved with my family from Forks to Alaska when most humans thought I was a 6 year old child, but had really just celebrated my second year of life. My name is Renesmee Cullen, daughter of Bella and Edward (or mom and dad, to me, but as I won't be able to call them that for too much longer I figure I should get used to calling them by their given names). We had a great time with the cousins - Kate and Garrett finally got married two years later when I was 12, Alice went all out with the decorations and the event went off flawlessly. Even though I'm not a girlie-girl I was thinking about Alice planning my wedding but I knew that wasn't likely in the cards, secrets in the Cullen family were –literally – life and death. Though we kept to ourselves, it's hard not to notice…me. My growth was slowing but we figured we should move again to avoid suspicion.

Bella and Edward finally enrolled at Dartmouth – my mom was so excited, and she decided she was going to study botany for her first degree. She said it was safe – plants don't bleed. So we moved across the country to New Hampshire. I was doing my 9th and 10th year courses online (I'm a decent student if I do say so myself). Carlisle started working at Harvard medical school (the commute is easy if you can drive like my family) as a professor and Esme was taking to redecorating our new 10 000 square foot house (8 adult vampires need their space, plus I got my own bathroom for the first time, a teen's dream!). Alice and Jasper were volunteering at the local psychiatric hospital, a cause close to Alice's heart. Rosalie and Emmett bought a garage and, to my great surprise, hired my best friend Jake as a mechanic.

Jacob Black has always been with us – he left his pack in La Push and moved up to Alaska. There, he finished high school and then worked repairing boats and cars as well as leading tourists on backpacking excursions – they always wanted to see the bears and wolves, if the tourists only knew of Jacob! It was great, he had a job and his own little apartment so close but at times it seemed that he missed his family and pack back at home. I had once asked him why he didn't open a garage in La Push. He was such a great mechanic and the competition sucked - I was sure he'd do really well. He mumbled about not having the capital but didn't elaborate – though I was happy because it did seem like he enjoyed hanging out with us. Jacob was the best – when I was a kid he'd take me canoeing, hunting and camping – anything I wanted to do. Once, we even ran with some real wolves, they seemed to gravitate Jacob in his wolf form and even found me a little interesting – my dad wasn't happy with than one, but I knew Jacob would never let anyone hurt me. Ever.


	2. Chapter 1: High School

First year of school

My first year of school is, ironically, also my last. I am starting school – real school - in 12th grade, a necessity but still a bone of contention between my family and I. Intellectually, I knew I couldn't attend school earlier due to my rapid maturity, it was still a bummer not to have any friends my age. My closest friend (aside form Jake), was probably Claire, who still lived in La Push and was now 10 – she knew my secret – but was also attending La Push Elementary.

I had goaded my family into attending school this year taking both 11th and 12th grade classes and finally had them convinced that not only could I maintain our family secret but manage to take all the classes I needed to graduate. I could finish up my education and then go to university next year. I still didn't know what I wanted to do but I believed half the fun was going to be finding out, besides, if I chose the wrong major I could always change my mind … more than once…living forever has its perks.

I got a used car and my driver's licence right before I started school. Dad had taught me to drive in mom's Ferrari but we both thought I'd blend in better this way. I was more than happy Jake tailored a car just for me. My new birth certificate now said I was 17 – that felt about right. My parent were pretty cool, I thought (damn, Dad would have heard that) - not too many parents would arrange fake ID for their daughter.

School is amazing – I love biology, math, chemistry and physics. English is boring – I read everything on the reading list before I was 9 – I wanted to ask for something new but don't want to draw attention to myself. History – well – I'll just have to remember the teacher's version, writing about vampire wars and the Volturi would likely get me in hot water. I have a few friends and have taken to hanging out at lunch, talking about boys as well as the latest fashions – I had Alice to thank to be able to add my 2 cents for the latter topic anyway. Boys, on the other hand, I didn't have a clue. I wasn't oblivious to the fact that my life had been sheltered, so even though some things about school were going to be easy, meeting boys wasn't going to be one of them.

It wasn't hard remembering my story. I told everyone that I moved here to live with my uncle Edward and aunt Bella, my parents having been hit and killed by a drunk driver (I figured maybe if I could lower the incidents of drunk driving by my classmates, my lie might save lives and absolve me of some guilt I felt lying to new friends). I lived with my 2 aunts and 2 uncles and my grandparents, Esme and Carlisle. As Carlisle was working at Harvard and Esme was doing mega online shopping and decorating for the new house and yard, I was hoping I wouldn't need to explain to my new friends why my grandparents looked uber young. Everyone was sympathetic and accepting of me, not asking me too many questions about where I used to live or about leaving friends to come here, maybe they thought the memories would upset me (I was glad, though knew I wouldn't falter – too many lives depended on the lie). I debated about whether to take gym, but decided it was a good peer bonding activity; I would have to remember to keep my abilities in check. I knew I couldn't join a team, it didn't seem fair to the competition. To make up for it, my family and I still put together the occasional ball game if the weather was right.

Everyone at home was keen to know how school was going and I told them all the gossip every day. I'm glad they decided not to attend High School with me this year, it's fun spreading my wings. Jake and I still hang-out almost every day, we go to the movies, the park, go hunting or just hang-out at the garage – I can change a tire and do an oil change like a pro, Jake even jokes about hiring me!


	3. Chapter 2: Love Strikes

Love Strikes

It was the second month of school already and I was studying for mid-terms; with my schedule and Jake's it had been two days since I'd seen him and I was starting to get edgy. I popped into the garage to say hi and Jake gave me a big hug – a tingle ran down my spine.

"Hi, Ness! I missed you! How are the mid-terms?" Jake asked enthusiastically, kissing me on my cheek. It seemed he missed me as much as I missed him.

"No problems so far, Jake." My cheek burned with the light touch but I shrugged it off, it was a warm night for late October.

"Are we going out tonight?" he asked getting ready to pack up.

This was the first time I'd ever hesitated to do something with Jake.

"Uh, I've still got a test in Bio to study for with a couple of girls from study hall. Sorry Jake," I apologised, he looked heartbroken; I didn't know I was so much fun.

"So, you have so many new friends to hang-out with, there's no time for Uncle Jake?" he kidded, he was Uncle Jake to me for at least 2 years. But today I was a little upset. I know I'm still a teen, but can't he see I've matured in the last couple years. I would never be as tall as Jake but at 5'8" I was at least taller than my mom.

Yeah, _'Uncle Jake'_ , I'm going to play in the sandbox, see you tomorrow," my tone came off as angry as I intended.

"Sorry, Ness. I didn't mean… You can have other friends" Jake backpedalled. "It's been a tough day at work, the parts for the Subaru didn't arrive and I can't figure out why this bad boy – he pointed to a huge truck – won't start, and two no shows cutting into my paycheck, I shouldn't take it out on you. Go study, see you tomorrow?" He cocked his head looking for forgiveness.

Why was he so nice? I got pissed for no reason and Jake's apologizing to me. I didn't know what to say. He gave me another hug and a kiss on the cheek which sent another ripple through my body "Later, Ness. Really, I'm sorry. Let's go for dinner to that new Mexican place on 4th Street, tomorrow, my treat?" He looked eager.

"Sure Jake, I'd better go study, see you tomorrow." I left him to take it out on the truck. I knew Jake – he'd have it running before he left. Jake was never one to back down from a challenge.

I met the girls and we did study, but I was distracted and I couldn't figure out why. I really didn't like fighting with Jake but we could never stay mad at each other very long. I had a knot in my stomach the whole evening.

I didn't understand why I was so upset about my conversation with Jake until lunch period the next day. I picked out a soup and salad and sat down with my new friends. A girl from my calculus class was gushing "I think I'm in love…" she went on and on about how cute the new teaching assistant was, wondering if he was too old for her but I only partially listened. I wondered if it was really that easy – love at first sight and all. Would I ever be in love? Would he, could he, love me back given my secrets, my family's secrets? I don't think I could be in love if I had to hide part of myself from him forever. I wanted someone I was comfortable around; I could tell anything to, someone who would love me as me. Someone who would forgive me if … I got mad at him for no good reason. Suddenly, my world was not the same; I was frozen in this new realization. Thinking back, I now knew it had been building in me for months – the touches, however chaste, the kisses on my cheek and our daily comradery had caused a slow change in me. All was now clear - I was in love with Jacob Black.

"Sorry, guys I left my phone in the locker room," hoping it wouldn't ring in my back pocket before I got away (being a Cullen you'd think I could come up with a better lie but I _couldn't_ think). I ran to the lockers glad there was no one there and crumbled onto the bench. Ness, get a grip. He's your best friend, your mom's best friend. I think mom even kissed him once or twice – as a little girl I used to laugh when mom and Jake told me that story but now I was….jealous? No, it was too long ago. But there was no doubt in my heart I was in love. Just as quickly the tears started to flow…how could he love me? I'd known him since the day I was born… he fed me bottles…changed my diapers (ew!) …picked me up and swung me around in pretty dresses. One summer on a visit to La Push, Claire and I even buried Quil and Jake in the sand – great memories….but certainly not girlfriend material. I knew I couldn't miss biology (I hadn't lied to Jake, I did try to study for my test), so I picked myself up washed my face in the sink and took a deep breath. Live the lie, teenage Ness, today I broke down like the 6 year old child I really was. Jake could never love me like that, to kiss me more than on my cheek. To touch me, as more than a friend. He thinks of me as a child, his best friend's little girl. I headed to class trying to get the fantasy out of my head of Jake and me together.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur, I was meeting Jake for dinner. Should I cancel? No. Until he find out and runs away to Canada just to get away from this little kid pining for him, I'd take what I could get.


	4. Chapter 3: My Secret

My Secret

"Hi, Ness," he hugged me, probably exactly like usual but my whole body was on fire with his touch. I needed to play it cool.

"Hey, Jake, did you get the truck running?"

"Oh, yeah, no problem, just pulled out the…" he started describing the problem in detail and completely lost me. All I could do was stare at him with his tight t-shirt hugging his 6 pack, even in his greasy jeans and his shoulder length hair he looked completely adorable. I saw him every day but I never really _seen_ him before this minute.

"…then it started," oh, he was still talking about the car.

"Great Jake," I stated, glad I wasn't drooling.

"Do you want to help me with the oil change for the truck? The owner's picking it up tomorrow. She's super happy I got it to run".

"She?," I asked, suddenly feeling possessive.

"Yeah, quite the truck for such a delicate thing, but she knows how to handle her," stroking the truck fondly.

I wish he'd do that to me, I thought and then stopped. I looked around embarrassed; thank heavens my father wasn't here! Ugh, Ness, get a grip.

"Sure, oil change yeah" I went through the motions and got the supplies. It was a good thing I'd done this so often with Jake that it was rote; on the other hand, watching Jake slide under the truck like that felt like a brand new experience, all of his muscles taut. Refocusing, we made quick work of the project. We were a good team – great buddies, and the thought left me dejected.

"All done, thanks, Ness. Now I don't have to come back later tonight. Rose and Emmett would kill me if I didn't deliver. And I don't mean that figuratively."

Suddenly I growled. "They wouldn't hurt you Jake. They'd have to get through me," oh great, I though, little Nessie, the werewolf protector.

"I'm not letting you get hurt because of me, Ness. Sorry, I'd whisk you out of the way and fight."

This wasn't the first time we'd had this conversation, but it took on a whole new meaning tonight. "Thanks Jake, nice knowing I have a big strong…" I choked on the word "…brother to protect me".

"Always, Ness" and he sounded absolutely certain, then he hugged me, grease and all.

I relaxed throughout the evening (I tried not to think "date"), the new restaurant was fabulous, Jake was still Jake, he ate 12 tacos; he commented throughout the movie (it was a super cheesy vampire flick -Halloween was only days away), whispering things like 'Ness, is this an accurate portrayal, I'm confused', or 'Bite me, Ness, I want to see if it works like that'. Good thing there were very few people in the theatre. Jake's warm breath on my face and in my ear were driving me crazy in the best way possible; I wasn't going to tell him that I did want to bite him…badly.

We were headed home, when Jake said something that made me freak. Why had I not thought of my new problem?

"Edward's going to kill me, bring you home so late, taking you to a ...horror movie," he laughed. He started a mantra "I come in peace, I come in peace, I come in peace" and then I knew what he was doing.

"Jake, stop. Jake, stop the car!" Lying to Jake was harder than lying to my new friends at school. "Yeah, Jake, he'll probably be mad. How about he doesn't find out from you? Just drop me here. I'll just run home. I'll tell him and he'll have a chance to calm down".

"I'm not scared of Edward, Ness, I can take him".

I know he believed that and I didn't want to burst his bubble, but even though I now knew I loved Jake, I wouldn't bet against my dad – his speed and mind-reading abilities were something to behold.

"Sorry Jake, my fight tonight," to distract him I kissed him on the cheek, lingering half a second longer than usual to take in his heavenly scent. He didn't notice. "See you tomorrow, a little later though, I need to talk to Alice about her volunteering – I might want to do an essay about it" I lied again.

Sure, meet you my place, we could go for a run?" Jake asked

"Sounds great – 7 o'clock?" I didn't wait for him to answer, just jumped out of the Rabbit and ran towards home. I stopped when I could no longer see Jake.

I quickly called mom, lying again. Love was making me stupid. "Mom the movie ran late, I'll be home in a bit. Jake had to head back to the garage and my car is making this squeaking sound…Jake said he'd look at it tomorrow".

"OK, sweetie. Your dad and I are going to bed. See you after school. Love you."

"Mom, I'm meeting Alice after school, then I'm going for a run with Jake, we'll make dinner, don't worry about me eating," I said, she always worried.

"Alright, Ness. Have fun". She sounded eager to get off the phone, oh…bed….yes, vampires don't sleep…my parents were like a couple of teenagers, no, I corrected, they are a couple of teenagers and always will be. I shuddered at the thought.

Now why did I kick myself out of Jake's car? A. My dad is a mind-reader. B. I know I love Jake but am confused about what to do next. Dad hearing my thoughts while I contemplate this would be mortifying …even more so if he read my mind about what I thought of Jake's physique today….I would be grounded for life!

I got home late and snuck into bed, however much I hated contemplating how my father's mind was otherwise engaged this evening I was glad he wasn't listening to me.


	5. Chapter 4: Asking Alice

Asking Alice

I woke up early, showered and dressed quickly and left for school, picking up a coffee on the way. School was uneventful, and I was relieved when the final bell rang. I called Alice.

"Alice, can you meet me at the gift shop?"

"Sure, Ness, I just finished today, what time will you be there?"

"I just arrived." Not even slightly winded, I had taken a short cut- only 10 miles - through the park behind the school, up the hill then down to the hospital.

"Geez, Ness, I'll be down in a minute."

Alice had privileged access to the adolescent ward, she couldn't say much (patient confidentiality and all) but felt she was making a difference. I knew she had a special connection to a couple girls there – she said it was like looking in mirror. She didn't remember her human past but she was working through what she had learned so far. And I could picture Jasper using his gift for good with those teens, some of whom probably special gifts of their own.

I was sitting at the café across from the gift shop when Alice appeared.

"Alice?," I whispered.

"Ness! What is wrong?" she rushed over faster than was humanly possible, I was glad no one noticed.

"Nothing is really wrong, Alice. At least, I don't think so. But I need your help," I pleaded.

"Tell me, Ness. Let's walk". We went out to the courtyard. Alice is not subtle. "Spill," she instructed.

And so I did "Two days ago, I was with Jake and I felt, different, didn't understand until lunch the next day – I told her about the TA incident- and I realized, Alice.." I started tearing, "I Iove Jake. I really love him, I don't know how to tell him, I don't know if he could feel the same about me and what to do if he could". I blushed as much as my human side would allow, then put my hand to my cheek and apologized knowing it would make Alice uncomfortable.

"It's fine, Ness," then to prove it and comfort me she gave me a big hug "Jake is special to you, we all know that. I'm glad you can confide in me."

Then, to let Alice understand further, I touched her cheek. I let her see how my feelings for Jake had changed over the years, from babysitter, to brother, to friend, to my new found feelings and by mistake a quick glimpse of my dream about kissing Jake last night before I cut it off and looked at her in horror.

"I'm really sorry, Alice, now you know." I finished lamely.

"Well I can't say I'm an expert in love, I only know who I want," Alice said, then looked blank. "He'll be here in 10 minutes" she said happily. If only I was so certain about my future, unfortunately, Alice was no help in that department.

"Alice, can you help? Dad is in my head and I need time to think without him …knowing my feelings before I can work it out for myself. How do I stop him from hearing?"

Alice hugged me again, "you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself, you know. Give it time. Your Dad knows he hears things that aren't meant for him to hear, he ignores them…most of the time."

I went straight for the kill. "Do you think he will ignore my dream of sleeping with Jake?" I had broken the connection earlier but now she knew what the whole dream was about.

"Ness," she was sympathizing with me now.

"I just want Jake to know first – whatever happens," I said, tearing again at the thought of rejection, "I know you keep Dad out sometimes. How do you do it?"

"Practice" Alice said simply. I must have looked confused, "Memorize something – I would suggest something easy, say, the Declaration of Independence, then just repeat it over and over in your head. It should override any other thoughts you may be having. Depending on the prominence of the thought you might need to make it more difficult, lately, I translate dictionaries or ancient runes".

"Why would you need to keep Edward out?"

As if on cue, Jasper jumped in front of me and kissed, Alice, passionately.

"OH… don't answer that!"

Jasper looked at me strangely, I sensed he could feel my frustration and confused emotions but he didn't comment. I could feel that he was trying to make me feel better.

"It's OK Jasper, Alice is helping me figure this out" I said.

"Jazz, do you fancy a getaway, just the two of us," she asked coyly.

"Anywhere with you m'lady," Jazz sounded like a man in love.

"Go pack, he's a note for Carlisle – She scribbled 'Jazz and I are taking a trip – all is well – we'll say hi to the cousins, Back soon. – Alice'.

"Meet me back here in 20 minutes. I don't want you to run into Edward. Go!"

Jasper knew better than to question his clairvoyant wife.

"Ness, Edward won't hear this from me. Take your time, and make your own choices, they will be the right ones. Text me anytime. We'll be back if you need us. Love you, Ness". She kissed me on my flaming cheek. "Oops, Ness. You smell good. Jazz and I will stay until tomorrow – away from the house – I have a couple of things I need to tidy up on the ward, then we'll head to Denali for a couple days, after that Jazz and I will head out on our own until you want us back"

Alice's tone indicated she'd be in no hurry. This likely had something to do with having Jasper to herself and no ancient runes to translate.

"Wish I was as sure of Jake as you are of Jasper," I was wistful.

"I knew the minute I saw him," Alice stated, wistful. I could tell Alice had two flashbacks when she first _saw_ him and then when she physical met him - Jazz walking into the saloon.

"Me too," I said thinking of Jake, 2 days ago was the first time I had _really_ seen him, after all.

"I know," said Alice simply. I didn't understand, but she was gone.


	6. Chapter 5: Keeping the Secret

Keeping the Secret

I gathered my bag and headed to the library – still 2 hours until Jake was expecting me, why had I told him I'd be so long? I found a book with The Declaration of Independence as well another with the Magna Carta – I figured I couldn't be too prepared. I decided to sit down to memorize a few paragraphs before heading to Jake's.

Jake had just put supper in the oven when I arrived. We took a thirty minute jog down by the river and by the time we got back supper was ready. We ate in silence and then sat down to relax.

"Is the girl happy with her truck, Jake?" I asked.

"Thrilled," he said happily. "She said she'd refer some of her friends, good for business!"

"That's great!," I was happy for him, so I tried to sound enthusiastic but that would mean he'd be talking to her friends, all of whom were probably almost as pretty as Rosalie and would take one look at Jake's build and swoon.

We ended our evening with Jake quizzing me on what I'd already memorized. He thought it was strange but all I could tell him was that it was for a project. I let him think it was for school.

I drove home and started my recitation.

"Hi, mom. Is Dad home?" I asked as I got in the door.

"He's running with Emmett, but should be back any minute," she answered.

I breathed a sigh of relief, a little reprieve. Then I realized without Alice I wouldn't know when he'd be …home, maybe I should have confided in Rose instead? No, she'd tell Emmett and he'd make innuendos FOREVER. Mom would tell dad and I wasn't ready for that yet. Carlisle and Esme? I don't think talking to grandparents about one's love life (or lack thereof) hits the mark. No Alice was my best choice….Oops! I wasn't going get through this…I'd already been thinking about what I wasn't supposed to be thinking about.

Dad came in a few minutes later.

"Hi, Ness!," he called, "how was school".

"Good. Still lots to study."

"Did Alice stop to see you? She and Jazz left this afternoon are spending a bit of time in Alaska".

"Oh yeah" I talked fast. "She said she'd say hi to Kate and Garrett for me. I've got an early day tomorrow; I think I'll head up to bed."

"'Night, Ness," he gave me a big hug. "Don't study too hard" I could tell he could hear what was inside my head and kept my focus.


	7. Chapter 6: Declaration of Love

Declaration of Love

I woke up early and ran to school, way before opening bell. Well, I told Dad I'd study, so I read another part of the Declaration of Independence, which got me thinking about why I was reading it - Jake. Like I had shown Alice there wasn't a part of my life without Jake in it and I don't know how I'll react if he doesn't feel the same way I do. Run Away? I don't think I could live without Jake's calm presence and laughter. Sometimes, mom and dad were so serious and rightly so protecting of our family but Jake puts a new spin on things, he's so carefree. If Jake felt the way about me the way I feel about him I just imagine him bounding out from somewhere running towards me and taking me in his arms saying 'I love you'. Me, I sit outside of school and lament.

Every day for 2 weeks I committed to my new routine, home after school, trying to make small talk with Dad. Only once in the whole two weeks did he ask me what was bothering me so much about my history test, I mumbled something about just being prepared. Jake and I hung out every day – like always: hunting, studying and working in the garage. It was like nothing had changed; because it hadn't. He was the same carefree Jake. But I was more aware of every movement, every breath, every day I was becoming more and more certain about my love. Today was the day I told myself firmly. I quickly texted Alice "Today Alice, don't tell me what you know. I have to do this my way. Call you later. Please come home soon, I'll need you, Ness". I knew Alice couldn't see me or Jake but she would be smart enough to extrapolate from my families' reactions.

After school, I met Jake at the garage, nervous as I'd ever been.

"Hi Ness! Just finishing up," he called from under a chassis, "let me clean up and we can head to the movie".

He was back in no time, glistening with water and carrying his shirt. My heart sped and my breathing quickened.

As we got into the Rabbit, I asked Jake, "Do you mind if we skip the movie. I need to talk with you about something. Can we go to the hill?"

"Sure, Ness. Anything you want" I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't think professing my undying love would work over a bucket of popcorn.

Jake parked the car overlooking the city, it wasn't the best view – there was a grander hill a couple miles east, so this one was rarely occupied, just Jake and I most of the time. Sometimes we'd bring the projector and a screen and set up our own drive-in movie. Jake got out and sat on the hood, waiting for me as I sat frozen in fear. I took a deep breath, opened the door and climbed up beside Jake.

We sat there for a long time, Jake seemed to understand this was important, he didn't push.

"Jake?" I hesitated, this wasn't going well, my voice was trembling and my eyes watering. I was going to fall apart long before I got my words out.

"What's wrong, Ness?" He put his arm around me and held me close, I nearly melted. "Talk to me," he sounded worried now.

"Jake, I know we've been together forever, you're my best friend and I'm scared you're going to leave me when I tell you…"I was lost for words.

"I will NEVER leave you, Ness. You are my favorite person in the world! I'll love you forever." He lifted my chin so that I was staring directly into his eyes, "Tell me what's wrong, Nessie, Please." he begged.

My mind was blank. I knew he didn't mean "I love you" like I meant to say tonight, we'd been saying that to each other since nearly the day I was born. Why is love so hard?

"Ness?"

"I love you, Jake." He waited for something more.

"I love you, Jake," I repeated. Then, so there was no further misunderstanding, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him on his lips. He was so warm, tasted of cinnamon and pine, perfectly Jake. I could kiss him forever. But he just stared at me in shock. My already welling eyes started to tear. I went to race off the car and home, trying to not look back.

"Ness…," Jake caught my hand. Only his soft tone of concern changed my plans to flee "Ness.." He took me in his arms and we just sat together, Jake rubbing my back. I drank in his sweet scent, knowing everything between us had changed. Not knowing if I would be able to face him again, seconds until he told me I was like a daughter to him, that he didn't feel the way I did and never would. He would try to let me down gently but anything he said no matter how it was phrased would break my heart forever. I didn't want to move but needed to know where things stood. Now or never.

"Jake…," I had to get this humiliation over with. But he put a finger to my lips, trembling and then gently brushed my lips with his own. He stared into my eyes, there was a glimmer of hope, of longing that hadn't been there moments before.

"Ness, how can you be so sure, why me?" Jake was nervous now, repeating himself, looking at me in awe. I didn't say a word. I held him close and brought my hand to his flushed cheek. I showed him my life with him and, how, over the course of the last few months my feelings had blossomed into something more, something I'd only realized a few weeks ago.

"Now you know, I love you," I kissed him tenderly and this time he hesitantly kissed me back.

"I love you too, Ness." He kissed me again, gingerly, testing, but with a warmth I wouldn't have believed possible.

I didn't want to stop but this was too important. "Wait Jake. You love me? I thought I was springing this on you, but I didn't know what else to do, Jake. Please talk to me, I'm not a mind-reader, tell me what you're thinking. And if you were feeling this way for me why did I have to be the one to tell you, it would have been much easier if you'd just kissed me and told me how you feel. " I waited with anxiety and anticipation.

"Oh, Ness.." he kissed me gently, "I have been waiting my whole life for ….you". Then he told me about imprinting and how he hoped someday I would be the one to choose him, but that he didn't know it would be so soon or that he would feel such new feelings for me now that I had shared mine.

I was in shock. "My whole life, Jake?"

"Your whole life…my whole life. It's complete with you. Only you."

Then he leaned down and kissed me again but with a new passion. I responded with an equal desire and our lips moved together with an increased urgency. My lips parted and soon I tasted Jake's sweet breath mingled with mine. It felt like more than just my first real kiss, it felt like my life had started anew. I didn't want to pull away, but, too soon, we needed air.

For the rest of the evening we kissed. We talked about the usual stuff – everything was back to normal with Jake, a thousand times better than normal – I was the happiest I'd ever been. My life and Jake's made so much more sense now. No wonder he'd moved with us, left his home, his family. For me. I thought about it and, right now, if for some reason Jake had to leave, I didn't think I could bear it. I would go with him – leaving my family would be hard but leaving Jake would be harder. I hoped I'd never have to choose.

I hadn't really thought past my declaration of undying love but seeing how as I now knew Jake loves me as much as I love him I didn't think I should hold back now – the last two weeks had taught me something, keeping secrets was torture.

"Jake… no secrets, right?"

He nodded.

"We're supposed to end up married?" He didn't know where I was going with this, but answered, "If that is what you want, it's all up to you, Ness. You will always be the only love of my life". He sounded so sincere.

"You are the only one I want too, but marriage... I was thinking I could finish university, then, we can have a big wedding – planned by Alice, of course," I was gushing now wanting to get to my point. "But that depends…what are your views on sex before marriage?" Now I was being bold. Too bold for sure, especially when I showed him my dream.

Jake was in shock. He leapt off the car and phased in midair – I had never seen anything so graceful in my life. He disappeared into the forest, his clothes torn and splayed across the lawn.

"Ness, I'm so sorry, can you throw me some shorts?" he called from behind a large oak.

He wasn't usually this embarrassed about his phasing, he'd just come grab another pair. I had a sudden fantasy about Jake walking up to me in the buff and making love under the stars. Instead, I did as he asked; I always kept an extra pair of shorts in my bag. It came with the territory of being friends with a shape-shifter. He threw on the shorts and ran up to embrace me.

"Thanks, Ness – I think there are some things that need to be covered up for now, but opened later," he reasoned, tugging on the shorts, "Not four years from now, but … not right now". He blushed.

"Jake did you think I would take you right here on the hood? I was thinking tomorrow…," He knew I was kidding and kissed me.

"Ness, I think we'll know when the time is right, for now let's just enjoy this; get to know this new us," he grabbed me in his arms and held me. We watched the sunset and I cuddled closer to Jake as I started to shiver, warming up instantly. I was home.

Hours later, the stars were out and I was nodding off, "Ness, I think I better take you home, Edward will be worried…" then he stopped. I saw the same realization in his face that was in mine – Dad would _know_.

"He is going to kill …" he started.

"Both of us," I finished.

That caused me to giggle and Jake to groan, I was wrapped around his lower pelvis. "Sorry, Jake." I unwound myself gingerly, not wanting to cause anything awkward.

"I'm going to tell him tomorrow, I'll call you afterwards – I know how to handle dad," I said with more confidence than I felt.

"I won't make it until then, he will know the minute you walk in the door and kill me 5 minutes later," Jake guessing about how long it would take Dad to get to his place.

"Really, Jake, you so underestimate Edward – he'd know 2 miles before I walked in the door and he'd make it in 2 - but only if he finds out," I amended grinning.

"Did Bella lend you her shield?" I could tell he had no clue about Alice's trick so I explained. Jake was so impressed – "that's one smart psychic," he commented. I quickly texted Alice:

Alice – Love is amazing. Tell you more when I see you.

I'll tell dad tomorrow, can you be there? Ness

"Jake, I'll call you once I've told him. Wish me luck. I love you." Before I left I opened my bag and handed him the book. "You might want to study". I kissed him and left.

My phone rang on the way, it was Alice.

"Congrats, Ness! It was meant to be" Alice was so thrilled, it was hard to stop her, I couldn't even be mad at her that she knew about the imprinting. I finally cut her off with one word – Dad. "I will be there at 8, don't worry – practising my Swahili". I took that to mean she wouldn't spill the beans.

I got home and the whole house was quiet – which could only mean one thing in a house where no one but me sleeps. I shuddered again but decided I needed to grow up about things like this. At least I didn't need to worry about my talk with dad until tomorrow. I drifted into more vivid grown-up dreams of Jake.


	8. Chapter 7: Telling Dad

Telling Dad

I woke early and showered and dressed quickly. This reduced the risk of dad coming in and jostling me awake. I can say for certain he wouldn't have seen the sweet innocent dreams of my childhood. How can it be that I saw Jake all last evening and dreamt of him throughout the night? And I still missed him now. Love. Go Figure.

"Morning, Rose," she was sitting on the couch like it was perfectly normal to be up at 6 am – it wasn't for human or vampire.

"Where's Emmett?"

"Oh, still pouting about losing a race to Edward yesterday – my man will never learn!" She smiled like a woman in love. I wondered if I looked like that.

"Can you tell dad I'm going for a run then over to Jake's" I asked Rose. "I need everyone back at 8pm – Alice will be home and we should all be here". I hoped my excitement was enough but Rose looked suspicious. Good thing Emmett saved me by leaping over the banister, landing on Rose and planting an indecent kiss on her.

"Hi Emmett, Bye Emmett" I called as I ran out the door, not wanting to know what their next game would be. Just because I was open to being more mature in my thoughts, it's not something I wanted to witness.

I got to Jake's too early, so I took a little jog around the lake – 20miles, 20 minutes. I made sure no one was up – it was fun to run though it certainly wasn't my top speed, and I rarely break a sweat. I was eager to see Jake, so I headed back and rang the bell.

"Who is it?" Jake asked groggily.

"It's Ness of course, who else comes to your place at this early?" I asked, a teensy bit jealously.

He answered the door in his boxers "Why didn't you just come in?" he asked, I did know where the spare key was hidden.

"Well, I thought you might be indecent…and I was right." I quickly scanned his perfect physique and wasn't shy about it.

"I'm going to…get dressed," he hesitated.

He threw on some jeans then came out to make breakfast.

"Is that your definition of dressed, Jake?" I quipped.

"Yes," he grabbed me and threw me on his sofa (Hey – did he just call Emmett?) and kissed good morning. It seemed so natural, a progression of our relationship.

He stood up to make breakfast and whipped up eggs and toast. We ate then I washed the dishes.

I went to sit on the couch and find the remote when Jake asked, "How about we go for a walk?"

We always lounge on the couch and binge-watch from the PVR before school and work, I tried to understand Jake's logic, but then from my vantage point I could see Jake's bedroom….and his double bed.

"Jake, can you tell me you can't keep your hands off me, while we sit on the couch," I patted the seat beside me, trying to look innocent. Then to demonstrate, he pounced and kissed me, I took it one step further and ran my tongue over his lips and down his neck. I felt my heart race and breath quicken, in pace with Jake's. I looked at the bed with a yearning I'd only felt in my dreams. He followed my gaze.

"Let's go" he grabbed me and pulled me out the door, while grabbing a shirt from the top of the washer.

We took a walk near the lake. We snuck a few kisses but mostly we talked. Jake told me he'd already called Billy but told him not to let Charlie know quite yet. I was relieved, mom called Charlie almost every day. Seth, Quil, Leah and Embry already knew – something I had completely forgotten about last night. When Jake phased – even from 3000 miles away – they could hear him.

I was embarrassed at that. "Jake, what they must think about me….," I blushed.

"They think we're great together. I also told them – on the phone – we didn't….. I mean, they got a split second view of your dream and mistakenly thought we had …right there." He couldn't say the words 'made love.'

"So, have you ever…?" I asked cautiously – maybe he'd had relationships that I didn't know about. It wouldn't change my feelings for Jake – but might have increased my anxiety, about my performance, when as Jake put it 'we were ready'.

"Never, Ness." he clarified, which got me thinking that I would like to change that status in the foreseeable future. It was probably a good thing the pathway was beginning to become more crowded with runners and cyclists.

Compared to my run in the morning our five mile stroll took over an hour and I was going to be later for school. We got back to Jake's and I grabbed my bag.

"I'll see you at the garage tonight," I planted another passionate kiss on his lips, then ran the whole way to school and made it just before opening bell.

When I met him at the garage we decided to go to the early show of the movie we missed the night before, a typical rom-com, but it was nice sitting next to Jake, stealing few kisses, maybe more than a few. By the time the movie ended it was almost time.

"Wish me luck, Jake," I silenced him with a deep kiss. I knew he'd object to me doing this alone.

I bought Alice some flowers on the way home. A good welcome home and thank-you present. Walking through the flower shop taking in all the various scents helped me calm down. I assumed Alice would be right on time, and I wasn't wrong. I had barely entered the house when she showed up behind me. She hugged me but neither of us could break our concentration to talk.

"Alice, Ness" He said slowly, now with Alice in the picture he finally understood. "What are you hiding?"

As much as he hated some of the things he heard, he didn't like being veiled like this and was mad at Alice "You taught her to keep things from me," he hissed.

"There are some things parents should be TOLD Edward" she said simply. She pushed me to center stage obviously hoping I would hurry up, I guessed this cloaking didn't much get easier with practice.

"I have an announcement," obviously – everyone was standing there with anticipation.

"OK, here it goes," I knew my speech had to keep up with my thoughts or Dad would go completely ballistic before anyone else knew a thing. He opened his mouth to reply but I put my hand up.

"I've fallen in love with Jake. I knew 2 weeks ago and told Alice," she hissed, "But I needed time to sort things out in my head, so she gave me a way to do that so Dad couldn't read my thoughts. I finally told Jake yesterday and he told me everything" Dad sighed. "He loves me too. I hope you can be happy for Jake and I".

I waited – everyone was stunned into silence. Mom had let down her shield and dad was nodding – I found nothing more frustrating.

"But not so soon," he whispered to her.

Alice finally hugged me "Congrats, Ness. I told you it would all work out".

Rose and Emmett, Esme and Carlisle as well as Jasper offered their support. I was a little worried about Emmett – he usually liked to season his comments with sexual innuendos. Today was no exception. "Ness, I hope you'll always be as happy as Rose and I," then took Rose in his arms and kissed her passionately, "No doing things like this until you're much older!" He laughed.

Little did he know, I thought…..but then I was mortified…Dad was sitting over there and looked more than shocked. I tried to veil my thoughts but it was too late.

Esme got the gist, "I think Ness, Edward and Bella need a little time alone" so she whisked the group out of the house. It was just my parents and I, uh oh.

Mom was on alert so I clarified, "We just kissed," I said quickly.

"Nessie," Mom leapt over the table and hugged me, "Breathe, we are glad Jake is in your life". I looked at Dad and it didn't look like the "we" applied. "Oh mom," I gushed, "I didn't want to keep this from you but I needed time to sort out my feelings" I gave her a big hug. "I love you, mom." I looked at Dad and I had an image of him attacking Jake and was suddenly terrified.

Dad put an end to my thoughts, he got up to hug me too "I would never, Ness, but given your new…" he worked hard to say the word, "feelings…we do have to talk".

I knew this was coming.

"And you are moving too fast, you didn't 'just kiss'…."

I cut him off. "THAT is private. Dad, you are usually pretty good at hiding that you know ….things. Please try to show me the same respect. I know it's not your fault but I have been going crazy the last two weeks…."

"He needs to treat you better" Dad started again.

"He's treating me fine…better than fine," I snapped.

"Jake isn't a teenager. He knows better".

"Yes, Dad, unfortunately he does." I was mad. And stupid. And hormonal….I thought about the whole evening on the hill as well as this morning before school. Before I could gage Dad's reaction Jake walked in. Hiis face was screwed up in concentration.

"Jake, loose the veil, Dad knows everything." I hugged him, "I told you I'd call, but I'm glad you came. I missed you." I kissed him, and then stood in front of him to face my dad who was walking over. I stayed where I was but knew I would offer no protection.

"What the hell is going on?" Mom looked at Edward for answers.

"It seems, Bella dear, our daughter has inherited your power of persuasion when it comes to the opposite sex…"

Mom processed this with lightning speed, growled at Jake with her eyes wide "MY DAUGHTER!"

"But Jake showed a certain….maturity." He finished just in time, I pictured mom going for Jake's jugular.

"Jake, I think you are a better man than I give you credit for." and he offered Jake a hand.

Jake spoke with a catch in his voice, "Edward, I know you already know how I feel about Ness. Bella, I promise to love and protect her as long as forever. You both know I never even thought or hoped this would happen but now that it has I am the happiest man on earth." He turned to me and said "I love you" and pulled me into his arms.

I was getting misty eyed. "So now you know, we're in love. Jake and I are going out for a walk. I'll be back at midnight." I pulled Jake out the door. We walked to the river, hand in hand.

We sat down; I leaned into Jake's shoulder. "So they're in shock, but they know" I smiled. I had Jake and I was in love. I cuddled closer to his chest and he lifted my chin, kissing me gently "I love you, Renesmee".

"I love you, Jake. I need you," I kissed him with a passion I didn't know I had and we rolled onto the grass. I ripped his shirt down the middle and kissed him, first on his lips, then made my way down his torso. I figured he wrecks enough of his shirts, why shouldn't I. I reached his navel, it would be so easy to undo the zipper, but I decided to just kiss his beltline and make my way up his chest. I sucked on his neck, his pulse was racing. "Oh Jake," I sighed. He took his turn on my lips, my earlobes and down my neck, I could feel my whole body responding. "Jake, we should, go somewhere," I pleaded.

"Ness, give us time, we have forever," he held me and kissed me until I had to get home.

As promised, I did get home before midnight and Dad was sitting in the living room. "Goodnight, Ness" he hugged me quickly, "See you in the morning". He didn't have to guess where my thoughts were (I tried to veil them without much success – the power of love) but didn't comment. I headed up to bed and hoped he wouldn't listen to my dreams.


	9. Chapter 8: The Holidays

The Holidays

The holidays snuck up on me with my new relationship with Jake, school and friends. I didn't know where the time had gone. Christmas in the Cullen house was a quiet affair. Esme did make a turkey with all the trimmings for Jake and I. We'd have left overs for months – no wait, maybe a day or two. I always forget how much Jake can eat. We didn't really do presents, no one needed anything – we always bought gifts for each other if something caught our eye. I told Jake not to buy me anything but he did come up with concert tickets for my favorite band as well as a little calendar – of wolves. Looking more carefully, it was the packs but mostly of Jake looking right into the camera. So sweet. I did buy Jake a few shirts, but only because I kept ripping his. Edward tutted quietly at my thoughts, until I thought about buying Jake pants – shock made for silence. Alice made our regular donations to the World Wildlife Fund as well as about 100 other charities involved in animal and wilderness conservation efforts throughout the world. We tried to get Charlie a new car but he wouldn't accept it, still happily driving the cruiser. But I did manage a gift for Billy, Jake didn't know but I hoped he'd be happy when he found out. The family gave Jake and me a thoughtful gift – tickets to Port Angeles, so we could visit at spring break. We were stoked. On New Year's Eve Jake and I had the house to ourselves for a few hours as the family went hunting –I guessed celebrating the New Year got a little old after a while. We curled around each other on the couch for hours; Jake wouldn't go in my room. We celebrated the New Year and then we both fell asleep on the couch wrapped around each other. Edward booted Jake out the door when he came home and carried me to bed despite my objections that I was no longer his little girl.


	10. Chapter 9: Sleepover Troubles

Sleepover Troubles

It had been nearly five weeks since our relationship began. Everything was nearly back to normal in the Cullen household. Jake was over every day and Dad (thankfully) kept his thoughts to himself. Jake still kept himself out of my bedroom despite my reassurances it was fine. I asked him what we would do with 8 vampires with super-hearing in the house. I guessed it had more to do with what Jake would think we could do….and dad.

I also hung out at Jake's though we didn't stay indoors as much. We still had our share of alone time, on our hill or in the park, I couldn't get enough of his caresses but it seemed Jake felt he wouldn't go too far if there was a chance we could have visitors.

My frustration was at an all-time high, when we were spending a rare evening cuddled on Jake's couch. I'd had enough. "Jake, I'm going to bed". He stood up to walk me out but instead of turning towards the door. I walked into his bedroom and crawled under the covers. "Good Night," I called. It was warm and smelled like Jake. I lay there wondering if he would kick me out. Maybe he would sleep on the couch, but just as I went to peak I heard footsteps, Jake gingerly lifted the covers on the other side and crawled in.

"Good night, Ness."

We lay separately for a few minutes, but like magnets our lips connected in the dark. We kissed and caressed each other. Jake pulled off his shirt and pulled me to him 'I didn't want you to rip that one," he laughed and his body moved with mine "It's my favorite". Too soon, he pulled the hair from my face and stroked my cheek. "Sleep Ness, I'll be here when you wake" and I drifted off to sleep in his arms.

I woke with Jake wrapped around me. I was warm, and I was more than content. I kissed Jake and wished him good morning. He was fast asleep but that didn't stop his response "Oh, Nessie, bite me Nessie, bite me!" It was tempting, I twisted around and kissed him, I sucked on his ear and traced my tongue down his jugular…he wants a naughty little vampire I thought briefly…unfortunately, I wasn't that daring. I wondered if Jake would remember when he woke up. I cuddled into him and fell back asleep, waking to his kisses "Good morning, Ness," I firmly agreed. "You have interesting dreams, Jake," I sat on him and recreated what I had done earlier and he sighed. "Should I?" I'd bitten him before but that was before this new us. I suspected this would cause a different reaction. I could tell he was tempted but shook his head. "Not today. What you do to me, Ness, its indescribable!" and grabbed me in a passionate embrace.

We couldn't stay in bed all day, but neither of us wanted to move. "Jake I think I should get home" I said reluctantly, "I need a shower and a change of clothes".

Jake unwrapped himself "Me too"

"Should we….?" I pointed to the shower.

"Ness… I need a cold shower" he kissed my forehead. "I'll be out in a minute."

I cuddled into bed again, shivering without Jake. I tried not to think about Jake soapy and wet.

Jake came out of the shower a few minutes later with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Jake!" I admonished him but really wanted to rip off the towel.

"Sorry, Ness. Forgot to grab clothes," he picked up a new pair of jeans, socks, boxers and a t-shirt. To my chagrin, he headed back to the bathroom to change.

I called to him as I got up "Why are you torturing me, Jacob Black?"

We left the house together. I had a paper due and tests to study for; Jake decided to head to the garage to catch up. I went to the library and finished the paper in no time – English, guaranteed A+. Calculus took a little more time, I e-mailed the TA a couple questions (he is cute, I had to agree, but he's no Jake) and finished an assignment. And just to have more time for Jake during the week I decided to get a head start on history and laughed at the next chapter "The Declaration of Independence" – it was a quick read. I packed up my book bag and headed home. Still shaking my head at Alice when I arrived, I barely noticed Dad on the porch.

"Your mother wants to talk to you." His lips were barely moving - I'd never seen him so angry. He ran into the forest.

She took one look at me, knew I hadn't been home and that I smelled of Jake. "Mom, I can explain, just let me shower."

"Sit – Renesmee" she was nearly as mad as Dad.

"Ness, you don't come home, you don't call. Edward was thinking of breaking down Jake's door. We worry, honey. Now, about last night…" she would have blushed if it were possible.

"Mom!"

"I just want to know that Jake was ….respectful," she was lost.

I took a deep breath. Surprisingly, I thought it would be easier if Dad were here. He'd know instantly we didn't. But then I thought of what we did do … sucking and biting and dreaming…. I was blushing. With mom here, I had to find some words, sound mature and justify my choices. I didn't think opening with 'Jake and I slept together' would be a good start.

"Mom. Relax. Please." You'd think after finishing a 20 page Shakespeare paper I'd have more words at my fingertips. "I fell asleep at Jake's, which I might add I've done millions of times before and you've never acted like this."

"Renesmee," mom rarely used my full name, as much as she was initially against my nickname, it had stuck.

"You and Jake have a different relationship now and we need to talk about this," mom was pushing; I would actually have to say it.

"Mom, if you really must know, I have the same clothes on as yesterday because they have not been taken off. I slept in Jake's bed; Jake took his shirt off and also slept. PLEASE tell me you don't want to know anything else," I begged.

"Oh, Ness," she hugged me. I could tell she was more than relieved but still continued.

"There will be a time when you and Jake decide…," mom began.

"Stop mom, I know where you're going with this. Dad would know in a second so I might as well just say it. I HAVE decided. I want Jake, all of him. He is being far too 'respectful' if you ask me. Can I go to my room so I can be embarrassed in private?"

"No, Ness. We're not done. Have you thought about any consequences?" mom was being as gentle as she could with this super uncomfortable subject.

And I really hadn't. I wanted Jake so badly it hurt. Of course, long ago Carlisle had told me everything he knew about my biology. Hormonally I cycled, but I'd never had a period. Evolutionarily I thought this was good thing-blood around vampires, not a great combination. But kids…no one knew.

I might as well be honest.

"Not really, we don't know if I can even…"

"I know, Ness. But, speaking from experiencing, you might want to consider all the possibilities." Mom rarely mentioned that she had given up the idea of kids just to be with dad until I came along; so I knew this conversation was as hard for her as it was for me.

"I guess… I should talk to Jake," I stated.

"Good thinking," mom hugged me as if the whole conversation and conclusion had been my idea. "You know you can always come to me about anything, Ness. I once told Jake I didn't think find someone who was good enough for him. I want you to know I was wrong. You are loved, Ness." She hugged me again.

"Dad?" I asked. And then it clicked "He didn't want a play-by-play, so he made you have the parent talk?"

Mom nodded.

I begged "Can you please talk to him. I can't think anything without fear of being judged. Someday..." hopefully very, very soon, I thought, extremely glad my father wasn't here, "Jake and I will become intimate. I don't want to have to avoid dad forever. He acts normal around EVERYONE else. It's not fair! I want to be me! "

"Nessie, your dad is just being protective. But I will talk to him. You should too; he doesn't like this problem anymore than you do, remember."

"Can't you just block me from him, for a while?"

Mom shook her head "Sorry, Ness. Physically, yes, but that doesn't help you work through this with your Dad. You need to do this on your own." I understood. With grown-up choices come grown-up consequences – the pros and cons of growing up so fast.

And then she shocked me, "And when your Dad asked me to block him, I told him the same thing."

Just at that moment, Jake rang the bell, but walked right in.

"Hi, Bella," he called, but ran to me "I missed you, Ness," his hair was wet.

"Did you shower again, Jake," I asked kissing him lightly, tousling his hair.

Jake felt the need to clarify. "My second shower ALONE today," he directed his answer to mom.

"Jake, don't worry, mom and I had a very long discussion about sex." Jake's eyes widened but mom interrupted before I could explain, "I'm going to go rescue Edward-he might be in Canada. Make yourself at home Jake. Can I make you two dinner when we get back – Enchiladas?"

"Sounds great, Bella." Jake answered and mom left.

""Jake how is it that you never turn down food!"

We sat on the couch and I told him about most of the conversation. He seemed shocked that Edward had left rather than hunt him down, even Jake said "If my daughter ever stayed at a boy's..."

"Jake," I whispered, "Do you want a daughter?"

He was speechless. I had to back up. "Mom and I we, uh, talked about contraception. But Jake, I don't know if it's even possible for me to conceive. What if I can never have kids?" my voice broke at the end.

He kissed me and wiped away my tears. "Ness, we will always be together. If it's possible we will find a way, if not we will have a lot of nieces and nephews in La Push. Or we could adopt." He was so sure of himself it was hard to worry.

"Thanks, Jake," I kissed him but he wouldn't let me go very far.

"My turn for a cold shower, Jake. And I need to change. Can you start cutting the peppers?" I extricated myself from Jake's lap and headed for the shower. It was refreshing and I quickly dressed putting on some tight jeans and a low cut tank I'd never worn. Alice snuck things into my wardrobe every so often; today I hoped it would be of use. I came downstairs and watched Jake chopping veggies. He had a big pile of red, orange, yellow and green peppers, along with some onions. And he even had the chicken cooking in a fry pan.

"That's a lot of food for two, Jake". He finally looked up and dropped the knife back onto the counter.

"OMG, Ness," he pulled me into his arms, kissed me passionately and traced the top of my tank. "Oh, Jake," I sighed pulling him even closer. He was lost in his thoughts and my body caressing every inch of skin. I started lifting off his shirt. The only thing that brought us back to earth was the kitchen timer. "Sorry, Ness" he placed me carefully back on the ground. "Chicken's ready".

Good thing too. Not long after he set me down, Mom and Dad were back.

Dad gave me a kiss on the cheek, "Sorry Ness. I believe I may have overreacted. Forgiven?"

"Of course, Dad," I said. Seeing as he knew what we'd just been up to, he WAS being decent.

"Do you want help?" he pointed at the ingredients. Dad? Cook? He did make the occasional omelette for me and got a gooey look from mom every time he did. But aside from that he rarely stepped foot in the kitchen.

"Dad, now you're trying too hard," I grinned.

Mom started getting out the casserole dish, sauce and cheese. Jake and I finished pulling apart the chicken and sautéed the veggies. We got everything together and put it in the oven. It already smelled delicious.

"Thanks, mom," I kissed her. "For dinner, Dad and our talk."

Dad asked Jake about work and La Push. I set the table for Jake and I and mom took the casserole out of the oven. I was surprised when everyone arrived and insisted on sitting down at the table with us. I got caught up with family events and felt badly about avoiding everyone the last few weeks. Alice hinted at another wedding but wouldn't say who. I had to guess maybe her and Jasper again – it certainly wasn't Jake and I, she couldn't see us for one thing. Jasper told us there was one teen he was trying to help at the hospital and finally seemed to be getting through, Alice, mussed his hair which I thought was adorable. It hadn't been his idea to volunteer but Alice looked proud of him. Rose and Emmett I'd seen off and on at the garage but mostly they let Jake run the show, they were thinking of taking a trip and Jake was more than willing to cover. I unintentionally ran my fingers down his arm in congratulations and my heart raced. Everyone pretended nothing happened. Thanks, mom, I thought, then, Dad took her hand. Carlisle was happy teaching, but was also now working nights at a local community clinic; he said he missed his patients. Esme was busy with planning the garden – a stream, pergola, multi-tiered deck and gazebo – it sounds like something out of a fairy-tale. It was nice to catch up with my family. I had been spending a lot of time with Jake, hopefully now, I wouldn't feel like I had to hide from them.

We finished dinner and tidied up. I did the dishes, Jake put away the leftovers. I knew it was getting late. I wanted to see Jake out. Really, I wanted to stay at Jake's again in his arms but I knew that would be out of the question. We could spend our nights apart, though, looking at Jake just now imagining not seeing him until tomorrow felt like a form of torture.

"Jake and I are going for a walk." I announced, "I'll be back soon," I sighed.

"Ness, perhaps you should ask Jake," Dad sighed in defeat. "And, if he thinks it's a good idea, take a change of clothes."

"Dad! You promised."

"I did. But this is the exception-between your thoughts and Jasper exuding heartbreak…" he couldn't speak. I knew he didn't approve…look at the lengths he went to marry mom before they got together. But I had heard (from Emmett, of course) that he had snuck into her room every night to watch her sleep. I wondered if Charlie ever found out.

Dad shook his head in answer and continued when I was done my inner monologue – annoying; but convenient.

"I don't want you sneaking off with Jake. You are nearly an adult and can behave accordingly. But…rules Ness. Weekends only. Weekdays, if Jake doesn't mind, he is welcome here."

"We'll leave you two to talk," Dad said and took mom's hand and outside they ran.

Jake's mouth was hanging open. "Jake don't drool, it's rude." I laughed. "Do you want to help me pack or...," I worried, "do you not want me over?"

"Did Edward …?" he was still speechless.

"Jake, I think the message was that I can make my own decisions. And that is what I am doing. And maybe you are right. Maybe we shouldn't take that next step for a while. But I want to sleep in your arms every night. Forever. Will you let me?"

"Forever," he agreed and wrapped me in his arms, ran me upstairs and threw me onto my king-sized bed. Before he could contemplate what to do with me lying there, he pulled me up.

"OK, Ness, where's a bag," he asked. I got up and grabbed the closest carry on and placed it on the bed. Jake waited. I pulled out some jeans, t-shirts, socks and even went into the bathroom to grab my toiletries.

Then I asked Jake, "Can you grab me a couple things out of the top drawer over there?" I pointed.

He dutifully went to open it. Bras. He turned and I blushed. "Two or three, Jake, we don't want to be here all night I teased. I went over to help him.

"Do you like this one," I held up a red lace number, "or this black one? " I waved it back and forth.

"Both," he exhaled. I packed them.

So Jake, I guess I shouldn't ask you to open drawer number two". I eyed it. He shook his head. I grabbed the undies to match and Jake ogled. I also grabbed some pyjamas, some comfy cotton ones but then I reached to the bottom of the drawer, silk, yes. I think Alice bought them for me but I'd never worn them. I didn't even let Jake see – this was for ….later.

"Let's go Jake," I called.


	11. Chapter 10: A Big Decision

**A/N: This chapter and many subsequent chapters are rated M for graphic content.**

A Big Decision

We walked into Jake's place and Jake went to put the suitcase on the dresser while I flopped on the couch and turned on the TV. I had been so tired earlier but now, I didn't know if I could sleep. Jake came over to join me and we perused the channels. We settled on a Rangers game, though it was just background noise – Vampire baseball is way more entertaining than professional sports.

I cuddled into Jake's lap and he stroked my shoulder. It was so comfortable just being with Jake. After the game (I don't know who won), we made camomile tea and talked about the following week. Jake was calling me a nerd for reading ahead and for finishing a paper in part of an afternoon. I agreed – but then told him I could spend every evening with him this week because I was caught up; he was flattered.

He picked me up, kissed me and asked if I was ready for bed. I was still wired, despite the camomile.

"Yes Jake, I'm ready for bed, but I'm not ready to sleep," I hinted, not subtly, and kissed him as he carried me to bed. He kissed me gently and disappeared to the bathroom. He came back refreshed in plaid pyjama bottoms. He climbed under the covers, kissed me and said "I'll be right here."

I got up to get my PJs and toiletries and nipped into the bathroom. I changed, brushed and headed back to bed. Jake turned off the lights then pulled me close. "Oh, Nessie," he pulled me to him and ran his fingers through my hair. I responded with a sigh and with my body. PJs are not like jeans. "Jake," I groaned, I could feel him pulsing. He rolled away and I cuddled up behind him. I wish we'd ditch the PJs but decided that wasn't for tonight. I caressed his neck and back and then put my hand down the back of his boxers and massaged. Jake let me explore, then swung around and melded his lips to mine. He took in my ears and neck, gliding his tongue down my collarbone towards my breasts. Then, he lightly rolled up my top and kissed my navel, slowly revealed my lower rib cage, caressing inch by inch. He looked at me and I nodded, holding my breath in anticipation. He sat me up and pulled off my top, gently lowering me back to bed. He stared.

"Jake, please," I breathed. He cupped one breast, then the other, gently exploring every inch. He took a hardened nipple in his hand and rolled it back and forth. I arched.

"I love you, Jake," this was the encouragement he needed. He leaned in, licked and caressed each nipple in turn, then took my nipple into his mouth and sucked. I cried out in ecstasy. He didn't stop and took the second nipple in in turn. I pulled him back to my lips, our tongues jostling with a renewed fever.

I woke with the sunrise entwined with Jake. I had slowly drifted off to sleep reality slowly replaced by fantasy but always with Jake in my thoughts. I cuddled close, perfectly content with Jake in my arms waiting for him to wake. He turned and again in his sleep called my name. "Ness, I love you," he found my lips and started to demonstrate his dream. I let him, a wonderful reprise of last evening and I was breathing hard. Jake removed his PJs, and then started removing his boxers. I hesitated but only briefly, when Jake and I make love I want him to remember the experience.

"Jake, wake up," I kissed him gently on his neck. "It's morning"

He stirred and sat up. "Ness," he kissed me. "I was having the most perfect dream. I didn't want it to end."

I smiled. "I know" and looked down at his boxers with the waist band at his hips. "I'm sorry I had to wake you. It was perfect for me too."

Jake blushed and pulled up his boxers. "I'm so sorry, Ness." He pulled the sheet over himself.

"Jake, you're the one who was asleep; I'm the one who should be sorry. I almost…didn't wake you up," I blushed too. Jake groaned.

"Ness. Edward is right. We can't…," Jake started but I interrupted. He was not going to use Edward as an excuse in this conversation.

"Jake….we want it, we're adults. We just need to be responsible," I said. "I can't go to a doctor… a regular doctor. But we can talk to Carlisle."

He knew it was the only way. "When?" he asked, no longer disguising his eagerness.


	12. Chapter 11: A Visit to Carlisle

A Visit to Carlisle

I was already dialing.

"Carlisle?" (I figured this was not the best time to call him grandpa) "When are you done at the clinic? Can Jake and I meet you there? OK. Thanks. See you soon". I hung up. We've got an hour Jake. We're meeting Carlisle at the clinic. I'm going to shower. I grabbed clothes from my suitcase, kissed Jake, and closed the bathroom door to run the shower. Jake did the same when I was done. We were dressed and ready to go in 30 minutes. Jake took my hand "We don't have to do this yet".

I disagreed, "We don't do this now, next time, I swear, I will not wake you up. I need you." I kissed him indecently. We ran to meet Carlisle.

Carlisle met us at the door. He kissed me and gave Jake a quick hug. We walked into exam room 1, there was no receptionist. I was trying to put my thoughts into words when Jake spoke.

"Carlisle, Ness is very special to me, we are considering becoming intimate and want to know if there is a possibility of conception and, for now, options for contraception," he was blushing, yet squeezed me even closer.

"That was very articulate, Jake," Carlisle stated. "I will help you as much as I can. I can't be certain about your ability to conceive together. You both have 24 chromosomes, which would speak to genetic compatibility. Ness, you already know about your cyclical hormonal variation. That would be a positive sign of the release of an egg. I can run more tests at home when you are ready for possible motherhood. For now, Jake, we can check your motility, I don't anticipate any difficulty as Sam and Jared both have offspring." Carlisle reached under the counter and grabbed a specimen container and handed it to Jake. Jake gulped, and Carlisle led him down the hall. I followed.

"Ness, stay here. Jake will return momentarily. There's no way I could justify to Edward letting you help Jake with….this," Carlisle smiled gently and I walked back to the exam room. Carlisle came back a second later "I'm glad you came to me Ness. I know it is hard for you to be unique. You and Jake are together, whether or not you are able to have children of you own". Jake then opened the door, blushing, and returned gingerly carrying the little container, jiggling with creamy fluid. He put it on the counter and washed his hands. He came back to stand beside me but he wouldn't touch me. I had to grab his hand and caress it, and then I kissed his cheek.

Carlisle was all clinical. Even went so far as to put on gloves. He stared at the container closely.

"Quite a few swimmers, Jake," I laughed and broke the tension. "Carlisle, I hope you don't announce that with your normal patients no human could see a cell 1/10th the width of a human hair." I do pay attention in biology.

"No," he smiled "Very observant." He then put a drop on a slide under a microscope and looked for a few seconds. Afterwards, he grabbed a strip of paper and dipped it. "No problems, Jake, the pH is normal and you've got lots of healthy swimmers."

"Is that better Ness?" Carlisle asked. I must have looked confused, Carlisle explained.

"I used pH paper. Usually, I'd just taste it- 50x more sensitive." Carlisle stated matter-of-factly. At that, Jake looked ready to puke. I, however, was a little curious….about Jake's sample, anyway.

"So," Carlisle began, "the possibility of conception is present. Normally contraceptive options are extensive, oral contraception, diaphragms, IUDs and condoms. For those who do not want children a vasectomy or tubal are also options. But you two are unique. I am hesitant to recommend oral contraceptives as dosing would be extremely challenging, Ness, as we have no protocol. Any extended wear device may disintegrate – Ness – I know you are not venomous but still there are still other protective factors in your physiology, you have never had so much as the common cold. And Jake – I think you would heal too quickly for a vasectomy to be effective – even if the plan was to later reverse the procedure. I think you have two options; abstinence….or condoms. Abstinence 100% effective, condoms about 98% effective if used correctly. Do either of you have questions?"

He waited patiently while we digested the information. I was trying to figure out how to use a condom incorrectly – in health class the banana demonstration seemed pretty self-evident. But I didn't want to ask. I finally answered. "No, Carlisle, I that's pretty clear." Jake offered his thanks.

Carlisle decided it was time. He gathered up Jake's sample. "I am going run a few more tests and destroy this at home – if anyone decided to do a chromosome study…" he shuddered at the thought, likely picturing the Volturi. "You know," he said, "if I'd ever thought to examine my own…" he looked at the specimen with intrigue "….Ness, you would likely have never have been born." He put the sample in a biohazard bag and then in his bag and gave me a big hug, "I am so happy that, even with my tremendous oversight, everything worked out."

Jake held me and looked like he was even happier.

Carlisle listened at the door. "There's no record of this visit, so exit quietly when you're ready. I'm heading to school to prepare a lesson for tomorrow, then home. Edward will know about our….discussion, I am nowhere as focused as Alice, probably because Edward and I have never kept secrets from each other. I hope he will understand knowledge instills power. There are samples under the counter, if you would like to help yourselves…. There are some things it feels wrong to give my granddaughter, but information isn't one of them." He kissed me, and then was gone in the blink of an eye.

"Jake?" I looked into his eyes. He knew what I was asking and nodded. I smiled and walked over to the cabinet. There were boxes of condoms, all a standard brand as well as little tubes of lubricant. I grabbed a box and a handful of the tubes and put them in my purse under the extra shorts.

Jake and I walked out of the clinic without incident and back to the car.

As soon as we were in the car, I wrapped my arms around him and found his lips again, but there was a lingering question. When?

"Jake," I whispered, "today?"

I knew he too was eager but this was important. "Ness, let's not rush… Will you …"

"Damn you Jacob – DO NOT ask me to marry you!" I kissed him.

"That wasn't what I was going to ask, but if you asked me I know what my answer would be," Jake sounded so sincere.

"Oh, Jake. I'm not asking – yet – either. What IS your question?"

"I was wondering if you would go out with me on Friday. We could book a table at Oliver's and then…." He left the rest unsaid.

"Go back to your place?" I finished with anticipation.

He nodded and kissed me.

I responded most graciously, "I would love to be your, date, Jacob Black," and then I kissed his cheek. I knew we'd be perfect together and I didn't have long to wait.

We went for a run, then back to Jake's. Jake took a shower, he said he felt sticky. I placed the supplies in the bedside table, making sure there were none left in my purse for anyone to find by scent. I didn't know how tonight would go at home, I only knew our decision could not be veiled.

Jake stepped out of the shower in a towel and sat on the bed. Again, I threw him some clothes thinking he would return to the bathroom. Bu he pulled a sheet over himself and started drying, then hopped into his boxers and pants and even before doing up the zipper, he pulled me down and kissed me. "Oh, Jake," I sighed, "Let's not wait," I grabbed for the bedside table drawer.

"Whoa, Ness," he sat up and zipped. "This will be one of the most special nights of our lives together. I will try to be more of a gentleman from now on."

I wasn't deterred, "l liked the 'gentleman' you were last night and this morning, Jake." I tried to pull him back to me but all I got was a peck. Damn.

"Let's go for dinner, and then face Edward". He grimaced. He didn't like the idea any more than I did.

"My point," I reasoned. "We make love now, Edward, doesn't know until after the fact, and he can't lock me up for life. You don't want me to go my whole life without …you?"

"Good try, Ness. We are not rushing into this because of someone else…even Edward….especially Edward. If, by Friday, you are not free I will storm the castle." He was so optimistic - my knight in shining armour. Getting by eight vampires would be much harder than he made it sound.

"I know, Jake. You're right. I'm just so..." I started.

"...hormonal," he answered unhelpfully.

"In love," I stated. Jake kissed me so passionately I thought we might start the whole conversation again.


	13. Chapter 12: Thoughts and Fears

Thoughts and Fears

We went for burgers and Jake paid again, he hadn't let me contribute a dime since we officially started seeing each other. I had tried to rationalize with him but he wouldn't hear of it. I had a credit card with no spending limit, though had never once abused the privilege. Oliver's is the priciest place in town and though Jake made decent money at the garage he didn't have a Cullen bank account. He even went so far as to refuse investing advice from Alice. I wasn't going to bring it up this week but soon, he'd have to let me pay my share.

When we arrived home and Edward and Carlisle were in the living room. Carlisle had obviously just run though our 'consultation' from this morning because Edward was shooting daggers at him.

"Carlisle," I called, "Jake and I will take over. Thanks."

"Words, Dad," I cautioned, "What exactly did Carlisle SAY to you" I knew he knew everything, even our decision by now, but I wanted to SPEAK.

Edward tried. "He said you came to the clinic for advice on safe…" he could barely say the word "…sex."

"To clarify, Dad, we went to see if 'safe sex' was needed given our physiologies, then finding out pregnancy is at least a possibility asked about our options. And now that we are aware, we are able to make better choices. Do you have questions about what I have just TOLD you?"

He had questions; he also had all the answers. I waited. I squeezed Jake's hand – we stood in solidarity.

He just shook his head.

I did feel sorry for him, knowing in 5 short days his only daughter would no longer be a virgin. This wasn't something a parent should know. If you can, don't tell mom, I thought.

Out loud I said, "We're going to bed."

Edward could only say "I'm sorry but I can't," in respond to my last thought. Oh well, I can deal with another talk with mom before, Friday…when Jake and I finally… My thoughts were getting the better of me.

"Sorry dad, goodnight. Come on Jake." I ran up to my bedroom pulling Jake with me trying valiantly but without success to remember the Declaration of Independence.

"Oh, Jake" I hugged him, and started to cry. "Dad …is so angry. What can I do?"

"Give him time," he comforted me "he's just getting used to the idea of us".

"He's had more than 6 years, which is 6 years longer than I've had," I countered, "Why can't he be happy that I've found love. Look at Carlisle…he seems happy Edward and Bella found each other."

Jake went onto explain mom and dad's courtship (conveniently skipping over his role in the matter). I learned maybe it wasn't always so easy for Carlisle at the beginning: fear of Bella's death, the family's disapproval, family exposure, Edward's disappearance, fear of Edward's death, the Volturi - the list seemed to be endless.

Crap, I thought, to me their love had always been there. I'd heard about some of the stories but I didn't understand the full extent of the challenges they overcame in order to be together. So I said to Jake "You know, it's amazing I was ever born."

"It sure is, Ness. A true miracle." And he looked at me in wonderment.

We woke early the next morning, entangled once again, even though my bed could sleep 6 comfortably. We lay together, enjoying the warmth, half expecting at least one vampire to come bursting in at any moment.

"Jake, I better go talk to my parents. Stay here. I will be back." I said, pulling off the covers. He went to object. "Sorry, Jake. This is a parent-daughter talk."

I decided surprising them wouldn't be the way to go. I phoned mom on the way (it is a long walk in this house), it rang twice … a new record; she usually answers even before the first ring.

"Sorry, Ness, what's up?" Mom asked.

"Can I come talk to you and Dad, now?" 5 seconds of silence.

"Sure, sweetie, we're up," Mom sounded calm. "Come in" I opened the door and it looked like they'd been up all night playing chess. How hypocritical, I though. Dad was sitting at the chess board – contemplating his next move, but I knew it had nothing to do with chess.

"Ness" he started. But then he saw my face, tears streaming down my cheeks. I came in to speak to them like an adult and looked just the opposite. They both ran over.

"Ness, oh, Nessie" they said in unison, hugging me. Dad knew everything, of course, but I to tell mom. I told her about our talk with Carlisle and plans for Oliver's Friday – she could extrapolate. We also discussed Dad's reaction and my talk with Jake last night.

She understood. She already knew. My parents had been up all night, not distracted. They had been talking. About me. All night.

"Not all night, Ness" he pointed to the board, "we DID play a few games". Mom smiled – this was some kind of inside joke.

Edward spoke, "We have come to an understanding. I am sorry, I know you think am overreacting, but I am your father. We, your mom and I, have, of course, believed this relationship was going to happen, someday. But I was watching Jake for some kind of sign. He never wavered – you were his best friend, companion. I didn't realize it would be you that would instill this change in him, this surge of affection, love. If you think its hard being in your head, it's nothing compared to Jake's. He has always thought of nothing but you -but now it's a more powerful than anything I have ever seen. He also fears this bond, that you will leave him behind – which is terrifying for him" At that mom shuddered. Her feelings for Dad were being echoed. "Jake is so protective of you, even protecting you from yourself. That is the only reason he hasn't…"my father gulped "made love to you. You think it's because I will kill him, he rightly has no fears of that, I am not his concern. His only concerns are that you are protected and loved and happy. He wants you, needs you in every way possible – with a pull more powerful than the universe. I worry, when you make that connection, this force will grow even stronger for both of you and that I might lose you."

I was speechless. I had tears. They were tears of happiness.

"Never Dad," I hugged him and mom joined in.


	14. Chapter 13: Trust Alice

Trust Alice

After that things seemed to settle into a routine. I met Jake every day after school, helped him finish in the garage and we'd either go for a walk or a run before heading home. Mom took to making dinner every night for both of us. Then we did homework, read, talked with family or watched TV before heading up to bed. I did suggest to Dad, that it might be easier for him if I stayed at Jake's but he wouldn't have it. I think it had something to do with thinking we'd move up our timeline. Jake also worried, he suggested he go home at night, at that I clung to him, "Never Jake," so under the eye of 8 vampires Jake took me to my room, to bed, every night. We cuddled and kissed, but Jake never even brought PJs, we always slept in our clothes. I think he was reminded of the last time he wore them and didn't want to take any chances. Soon it was Friday morning. I woke, showered and dressed, kissed Jake and left for school. I didn't want to talk about tonight. I was too nervous.

Classes were interesting, I was trying to stay engaged and keep my mind from wandering elsewhere. In history we were now studying the Civil War, it was hard to tell, but I could swear I recognized Jasper in one of the grainy photos.

I sat down with the gang at lunch. Someone piped up, "Ness, you've been quiet today. What's up?"

I was tempted to say nothing but it came out, "I have a date tonight!"

"Oooh, Ness. Tell us. Is he cute? Where are you going? Does he have a brother?" I was bombarded with questions.

So I (sort-of) explained about Jake. I made it sound like we met at the garage. I told them we liked to talk and hang out, sometimes would go for runs together. But that this was our first official date. I told them I was nervous, which was the absolute truth. They asked his age, and when I said 22, they squealed. I heard "Too old," "Experienced," "Hot". When I mentioned going to Oliver's it was over. "Ness, that place is the bomb!" "Is he rich?," "Is he your boyfriend?" and then THE question "Is he going to get some?" I blushed. I didn't have a speech prepared. "Jake is nice. He's not rich. I like him." I purposefully left the last question unanswered and I would never kiss and tell – when I can help it, anyway.

I went to the garage after school and gave Jake a quick peck. I told him about today. He even asked about meeting my friends – I told him to wait until after our second date. He kissed me again and I was tempted to stay …we could skip…the restaurant. No, I decided, stick to the plan.

"Jake. I'm going home to change. See you at 6 – should I meet you there?"

"Ness. I will pick you up. I want to do this…right" He was more nervous than I was.

"Relax, Jake," I kissed him. "At six" I smiled, I couldn't wait.

I got home and Alice was waiting. "Really, Ness. Did I have to hear about this from Edward…it barely gave me any time at all!" she was smiling as she dragged me up the stairs. In my room, there was this dress, obviously designer, simple, yet elegant.

"I love it, Alice" I gushed. My plan had been to wear my standard little black number, which was classic. Of course, I could count at least 3 times Jake had already seen me in it. This was perfect. I twirled it around, but Alice motioned for me to try it on. She even bought matching emerald green lingerie, appealing but not too revealing, she knew me too well.

I showered and dressed, Alice fixed my hair and make-up.

"Perfection!" she announced, and she turned me to the mirror.

"Wow! Alice, I don't know what to say. Thank-you," I stammered.

"Now wear these," she handed me some cream-colored stilettos. I put them on. I wouldn't need to stand on my toes to kiss Jake in these.

"And here's a bag," she gave me a clutch. "It has the bare necessities," she smiled a wicked smile which caused me to looked inside – a lipstick, cash and in the inside zipper - condoms.

"Alice," I blushed.

"You can never be too prepared," she smiled and gave me the biggest hug.

The doorbell rang, my heart went aflutter.

"Relax, Ness," sit here a minute. "I'll keep your man entertained." She flitted off, "I even have a present for him."

Breathe Ness. I gathered myself and stood. It's Jake, you see him every day.

I walked down the stairs with everyone's eyes on me. Saw Jake and stopped – suit and tie. I didn't care that everyone was staring – I took his hand in mine and twirled, then kissed him. "I love you, Jake."

We said our goodbyes, and headed for the car. Jake pulled out the keys, they were Alice's. "Alice lent me her Porsche," he helped me in. "You look gorgeous," he kissed me decorously then closed the door.

We got to the end of the drive. Hopefully we were far enough away from Edwards prying head. "Jake stop," I insisted. I was nearly hyperventilating.

"What's wrong, Ness?" he looked at me with worry.

"You're nervous, I'm nervous. This is silly. Let's just go for a walk and some take-out. We don't have to do this, Jake. I prefer t-shirts and jeans to this." I point to my ensemble.

""You are gorgeous, no matter what you wear," Jake loosened his tie a bit, and he looked more Jake. "Is this better, Ness? Let's go to Oliver's and sit down and if we're still not having a good time I say we go hunting". I laughed; Alice would have my head if I brought her ensemble back in anything but perfect condition. He kissed me, passionately this time; I was getting that tingly feeling again.

"Sure, Jake. Let's go," so much better, just us.

The restaurant looked divine, twinkling lights, a light serenade, the Valet took the car with a nod; Jake just smiled and tipped big. I put my head on his shoulder and held his hand "It's perfect, Jake".

We ordered steak, rare of course, and it was delicious. The restaurant didn't fail to deliver. We even shared a decadent chocolate mousse, feeding each other every other spoonful. The restaurant was packed… but to me there was just Jake.

Jake paid and we walked around the grounds in the moonlight. It was a full moon, the second one this month. The valet came and Jake helped me into the car, completely out of character but sweet just the same. We drove down the drive, then when we got to the intersection Jake asked "Where to, my love?"

I looked at him incredulously. "Jake..," his face betrayed no emotion. He was going to make me say it, we'd been working up to our intimate evening this whole week and I had to ask…I finally understood. My decision, always my decision….my Jake.

I kissed him, "Let's go home, Jake," he finally smiled, then stepped on the gas.


	15. Chapter 14: The First Time

**A/N: The title is a give away. Mostly lemons. You can skip to Chapter 16 if you have delicate sensibilities**

The First Time

I could really care less about cars, but the Porsche got us to Jake's in less than half the time his little Rabbit or my car would have, which, given the prize, I might really have to reconsider my choice of vehicle.

As we got out Jake locked the driver's side and threw the key under the passenger mat keeping the passenger door unlocked. "Alice said she might want to pick it up tomorrow," he explained. I was about to say we could drop it off in the morning….but then I didn't know what tonight would bring.

"Good thinking," suddenly I was nervous again.

"Ness," he kissed me, "Shh….It's just me." He caressed my neck and opened the door.

I hadn't been to Jake's all week, and I didn't think he had either except to change, but I was wrong. The place looked beautiful, roses in vases and a hint of lavender.

He lifted my hand guiding me to the couch, one touch, that was all it took. I kissed him deeply and shook my head, no sports tonight. I pulled him into the bedroom. The bed was made, pillows fluffed and soft music was playing in the background. Jake did all this for me? I crushed into him, the need was more urgent than ever and by Jake's reaction he felt the same. I pulled for his tie, his belt anything I could reach…"Jake," I whimpered.

He held me, restrained me until I caught my breath, "Shhh, my Nessie, Shhh," he kissed my neck and earlobe. "Can I Ness?" he touched the back zipper. I nodded, still unable to speak. He unzipped slowly, drawing his finger down my spine causing me to quiver with anticipation. He slid each shoulder strap off in turn so the dress slid off to the floor. Jake lifted me up and around, kicking the dress under the bed. I though briefly of Alice and the dress, but it disappeared…my thoughts returned to Jake's gaze. He studied my attire and was mesmerised. I could see him deftly taking off his belt and tie, pulling back the covers and lowering me to the bed. He kissed and traced my lips, while undoing buttons and discarding his shirt. His hands and tongue explored every inch of my exposed skin; my body felt like it was on fire. I pulled him to the bed and rolled him under me. I laid there with him not moving. Every breath caused my heart to flutter just being there with Jake. I caressed his chest making my way to his navel. I pressed into him and slowly undid his zipper to make room for his erection. He moaned. At that, he pulled off his pants and undid my bra tossing them to the floor. He cupped my breasts with an ever increasing need.

"Jake…," I pleaded, arching into him. He rolled me back to the pillow, hovering over me I grabbed and tore at his boxers and released him. He was beautiful.

I reached, but Jake held me back. "Soon..." he whispered, and then hooked my panties with his teeth pulling them to the floor. He caressed my inner thighs softly with his hands gently nudging me apart. He looked at me, still nervous, unsure. But I wasn't. I nodded and kissed him. He moved his fingers closer and closer to my centre caressing every fold. My body wanted to hurry this along but Jake was cautious, every touch, slight movement he looked at me for hesitation. I had none. Finally, he wet his fingers and slid into my tight opening, and I cried out. Jake panicked and stopped. NO! I thought, but had no words for him to continue. Finally, a tiny "Please..." escaped my lips and he found his rhythm again. Bliss. He slid one finger then two in and out until I was wet. He stopped and I was trembling. "Jake," he looked into my eyes following my gaze to the drawer. He kissed me while he unwrapped protection; I pulled it from him and slid my hand up and down his shaft as he hardened further, before unrolling it. He exhaled. "Ness," I kissed him, and pulled him to me as he entered slowly and I arched. "Oh Jacob!" I cried out as I felt something snap. I tightened around him as he gazed at me with concern. Pulling him to me gave him permission to let his body lead and he quickened, faster and faster we moved together as one. I orgasmed and he followed pulling each other ever closer. We lay together in ecstasy. As I pulled off the condom, Jake hardened again. This started a new fervor in both of us and brought us to a new climax. I could lay forever with Jake, making love, over and over again.

His urge was not tamed and neither was mine. We had one condom left and were considering our options. He decided to pleasure me and explored my clitoris with his tongue until I was in complete bliss, but I needed him. "Please Jake" I cried and he filled me. I climaxed in succession as his heat met mine and when I thought I could feel no further pleasure, he succumbed and my whole body trembled.

"Oh, Jake," I pulled him close and kissed him. I sighed caressing his chest. This caused a renewed reaction that I knew I had to tame. "Jake" I whispered, "We are out of condoms". He got out of bed and stepped on my stiletto. I knew my mind had been otherwise occupied but how could I forget, Alice. "Alice…," I smiled. Jake thought I was crazy. "You want me to call Alice…for condoms?" He kissed me. "Don't worry, I'll be back in no time."

"No, Jake hand me my clutch and get back here!" I was on fire again. He complied. His fingers entered me again and he kissed me. I could see him hardening but he was ignoring his own need to fulfill mine. I opened the clutch and the zipper – and pulled out three more condoms. I opened one and gave it to Jake, knowing his tension was building. "Alice," he whispered her name like that of a savior and quickly donned protection. And again.

"Why Jake?" I was purring with contentment, but the desire was presenting itself yet again. "Why can't I get enough of you?" I whispered. I was beyond tired, but still needed him. The sun was rising and we had only slipped into states of semi-consciousness before beginning anew. From the stories I'd heard at school – this was nowhere near normal and, for once, I was glad I was one-of-a-kind. Jake had no answer "I can't get enough of you either, Ness ." That stirred my loins and Jake was now no stranger about what to do next, my whole body and mind awoke. He licked and sucked until I could take no more "Jake I need you," I begged. Again, my whole body shook with internal pleasure and my desire matched Jake's as he climaxed and cradled me.

As we lay together our energies spent, I had never been happier with Jake in my arms.

We woke at three in the afternoon, stretching and assessing the areas of pleasure and pain, sometimes indistinguishable. The fire, for now, had subsided, but I knew it would build again.

"Jake," he awoke, to kiss me. "Ness," he whispered.

"Good morning, Jake, no dreams today?" I asked as I nestled close.

"Ness, they all just came true," I kissed him and said "for me too." He drifted to sleep again.

We had no more condoms, I got up to shower. Inviting him in would be…problematic.

I dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, threw out Jake's boxers– they were in tatters. I threw the undies, bra and Jake's pants and shirt in the wash and picked up the dress. No worse for wear.

"Jake," I whispered, "we need to go….to the pharmacy." At that reminder, he sat up. "What time is it, Ness?"

"Four thirty -in the afternoon," I emphasized. "Go shower," I pushed him. He tried to drag me along. I shook the important empty box. "Pharmacy."


	16. Chapter 15: Alice and Honesty

**A/N: Less lemons than the previous chapter but more innuendo**.

 **Alice and Honesty**

He showered quickly. He understood completely – after yesterday – we needed to buy in bulk. We got there just before closing, and bought two large packs. With our current needs we can't be too prepared.

Out of the confines of our little love nest we recharged. We went for a long run and a quick dinner (we hadn't eaten nearly for 24 hours). I called Alice.

"Hi Ness," she answered. "I thought you'd be busy."

Trust Alice. But I didn't mind it from her as much as from Emmett. "Um, we have been but we also have to eat and sleep," I said. She laughed with an "I forgot." To change the subject I asked "Did you get your car?"

"Of course. Tell Jake thanks for returning two of my favorite things unharmed."

"I will Alice. And I'm better than unharmed. We thank you too, Alice…for the uh…supplies in the clutch." I stammered.

"So you're calling to tell me to tell Edward you're not coming home – tonight," she guessed. "I already told him you called. Sometimes one doesn't need psychic powers to predict the future."

"Alice!"

"Have fun!" Alice hung up the phone.

Jake and I headed home to relax. There was no pressure tonight, no sense of expectation or fears. We made tea and lounged on the couch. I grabbed a book, Jake his tablet and I cuddled in Jake's lap reading a sappy novel and occasionally stealing a few kisses. Jake caught up on e-mail. Soon it was time for bed; Jake kissed me gently and carried me to the bedroom. I yawned.

"Sleep, Ness," he kissed me and changed into PJs and slid into bed beside me. I cuddled up beside him, thinking I'd drift off into a peaceful slumber, but with one look into his eyes, my whole body woke. I needed him again. Jake could sense it and started undressing me.

Our night was filled with a passion greater than before; we knew each other and could build on how our bodies moved in unison. Bliss.

By late-morning we woke, cuddled in bed.

"Jake, where did you learn that," I asked devilishly thinking of our night.

"My secret," he smiled and pulled me to him. I looked up still waiting. "It's embarrassing really, Ness."

I nodded, still not letting him off the hook. It WAS amazing.

"The old pack," he said. I nodded in understanding – I made a mental note to profusely thank Sam and Jared when I saw them next.

"Is there anything else they taught you?" I asked.

"Wait and see, Nessie" Jake scolded and kissed me. "If use all my tricks in one night where would we be?"

"We would never get out of bed."

"Precisely." Jake smiled. "Not that I'd mind, but your family would think I was holding you captive and I would be torn apart my angry vampires. Not a great plan, especially since I am thinking of certain things we can do next weekend."

That sounded like something to look forward to.

All was not lost as we got up and headed to the shower. We washed and caressed each other's dripping bodies. Then Jake made a mad dash for a condom. We came together under the mist of water. It was difficult not to return to bed to continue our merger, but it was time to face the world. Time to face Edward.


	17. Chapter 16: The Evening After

The Evening After

We decided to walk to the house after making ourselves presentable. Having a little extra time together alone in the sun and fresh air was ideal. We relaxed and tried shift our focus from our hours of love-making for Edward's sake. We climbed the hill to the house and walked in. It barely looked like anyone had moved since we'd left.

Mom and dad were holding hands, waiting.

Mom was the first to speak "How was dinner, honey?"

"Fabulous!" I exclaimed and gave her a big hug.

"It was perfect, Bella," Jake answered. Then Alice darted over.

"Hi Alice!" I hugged her, Thanks for the dress, it was gorgeous!"

Even Jake gave Alice a hug, "Thanks for the car."

So Alice grilled us about the restaurant, the décor, the music, the food, the valets and the ambiance. I knew why she was doing this and was grateful for it. We had such a great time, it was fun to reminisce and describe every minute detail. Then seamlessly fast-forwarding – Alice asked me if I was reading anything worthwhile, I laughed and told her I was in the middle of the latest paperback but that it wasn't going to wind up a classic.

I can't say my thoughts never flitted to my nights with Jake but it was easier somehow to redirect them, focus on the present. Dad blinked and occasionally grimaced but true to his word said nothing. This made me relax even further and enjoy my time with the family.

Mom asked Jake about La Push and Jake had a lot of news to add as he talked about the latest news he'd heard from the gang. "I just found out," he announced, "Kim is pregnant again!"

"That's fabulous!" mom exclaimed. Only a skipped heart beat betrayed me and an errant thought, _what if Jake and I could never make that announcement_. Jake squeezed my hand. Dad tensed.

I called for pizza as a distraction and it was a good thing I ordered two. Jake wolfed his pie down and was starting on the other half of mine.

Emmett even got in a little good natured goading and I wasn't surprised. "Doesn't she feed you Jake….or were you too busy?" He hinted. It was a good thing Jake's mouth was full, though Jake did throw an empty pizza box at him. But what shocked me was my dad's warning growl, "Emmett…"

Emmett turned on the TV to watch the football game. Alice and Jasper sat under the stairs, holding hands, so innocent but I could feel the love exuding from Jasper. But then again, maybe it wasn't Jasper at all as I looked at Jake and he took my hand. When the game ended Emmett was flicking channels; he paused briefly on Nature and the narrator was in the middle of something which caused me to pay attention:

"Wolves have prowess that is not reserved for short bursts, they have a super endurance and are able to travel up to 120 miles per day in search of food or mates. Wolf packs can grow to large numbers; females can give birth to litters of 3-10 pups."

"Jake is that you ….do you keep going and going and going," Emmett chided.

Jake froze.

"Ness, I bet you dream of doing him as a wolf, so you can have his puppies?" Emmett guffawed.

"A wolf is able to leap 16 feet in a single stride and has a powerful bite force…"

Jake leapt off the couch, phased in mid-air, grabbed Emmett's arm with his teeth and there was a loud CRUNCH and a metallic squeal," Emmett's arm and the remote control were flung to the other side of the room. Emmett yelped in pain and was a nanosecond from attacking Jake when Jake phased back as quickly as he'd changed and sat beside me stark naked.

Jake showed not one iota of fear and stared down Emmett "NO ONE disrespects Ness!" He put his arm around me to comfort me, not worried about his lack of apparel, an angry Vampire or my dad when he kissed me tenderly and said "I love you," my eyes were tearing not because of Emmett's words but my complete and utter terror of Jake being within inches of being crushed by the strongest mature vampire on the planet. I pulled Jake close, my hands stroking his chest and bare back checking for damage.

"OUT, Emmett! GET OUT!" Dad was furious. "And pull yourself together" He added as afterthought as he dislodged the remote from Emmett's arm and threw the arm out the second-storey window. "You like analogies – FETCH!" Emmett, jumped, but not even Rose followed.

Everyone rallied around us, and admonished Emmett. Rose said between clenched teeth, "He's going have a long night alone." Dad looked like he wanted to hug me, but saw Jacob had it covered and sat down. "Thanks, Dad. I'm fine," though I was still shaking uncontrollably.

I think Jake forgot he was naked; he just held me, kissed me and stroked my hair. I certainly hadn't. I kept glancing down. When I had finally calmed down in his arms, I reached into my purse and found some shorts – always there for those 'in case' moments, not usually as public as this - and placed them on Jake's lap, "Get dressed," I didn't bother to whisper; he stepped into the shorts and pulled them up.

"Better?" Jake asked. Everyone around us answered "Yes," though if we had been alone I would have disagreed.

Emmett returned 10 minutes later, his ego bruised but his arm no worse for wear.

"I'm sorry Ness, really, I didn't mean…," he stuttered.

"OK, Emmett. But understand…one more crack about Jake and I and you might lose different body parts." I smiled sweetly at Jake and he nodded as he pretended to gag. This eased the tension in the room.

All Emmett could do was nod.

I could only think of one other time Emmett had looked so whipped, I had been so little and mom and Emmett had an arm-wrestling match…I don't really remember what it was about….I smiled about my recollection, and then I looked at dad…he was nearly in stitches. Everyone else looked confused. Dad looked at me, seemingly to ask permission to tell the others. I nodded. When he did it caused melodious laughter throughout the house. Everyone but Emmett.

Slowly, the room emptied. I saw Rose heading to the piano. She found some sheet music and started to play. So that was why she was second best musician in the family – Emmett must wind up in the dog house a lot. It looked like Rosalie might surpass Dad soon; he certainly had no time to practice. Damn! Dad heard that and took mom's hand. How things had changed between Dad and I.

Soon it was just Jake and I listening to the piano, his arm around me, and my head on his shoulder. Emmett was standing in the corner taking his punishment in silence. We were all quiet, Jake yawned.

"Let's go to bed," I pulled Jake to standing.

"Ness, maybe I should go home," he started.

"NO! Jake. Not without me. Ever. Come on." He nervously climbed the stairs. I sat on the bed and climbed in. Jake pulled the covers up over me and went around to the other side. He pulled open the covers and found a package from Alice. The label said "in case of emergency…" we opened it …. More condoms.

We both laughed and kissed.

"We can't…" Jake started.

"I know," I said putting the package in the bedside table drawer; we cuddled and fell asleep to the lullabies Rose was playing.


	18. Chapter 17: Fear, Friends and Physics

Fear, Friends and Physics

I woke early, Jake was snoring. I kissed him and pressed myself closer to his warmth. It was a night of strange disturbing dreams. Jake protecting me from attack vampires and lying injured, bitten…dying. I shuddered and held him even closer. A flying piano. Running with Jake through a forest, Jake phasing, pouncing on me, ripping my clothes with his sharp teeth and entering me. Damn Emmett!

"Jake, wake up. Let's go out for breakfast before school. I'll be out of the shower in 5," he stirred and I went into the bathroom.

We were both ready in half an hour and headed to I-hop. Jake was about to open the door when I held him up a second. "Can I ask you a question, Jake?"

"Anything, Ness." I couldn't form the words.

I prefaced it by saying "I wasn't really thinking…it was Emmett." But I did show Jake my dream.

He kissed me. "No. Never, Ness…it's not … romantic". He went on to explain Jared and Kim had tried and she was injured. Badly. I shuddered. "She's fine now but they were worried she wouldn't be able to conceive again. They are very happy about their news".

"Oh, Jake. That must have been horrible. I'm happy for them. And for us. I love you." I kissed him, trembling, asking one thing I knew he wouldn't give me "Please don't pick fights with Emmett."

Like a schoolyard fight his only answer was "If he keeps his trap shut." Knowing Emmett and Jake I knew I wouldn't win. I just hoped no one got hurt but I had to drop it for now. He wasn't over yesterday. When I asked him to come over to the school for lunch, Jake relaxed; no, he was thrilled.

"I get to meet your friends?" he sounded excited.

"Yes Jake, just be on your best behavior. I told them we going on our first date last Friday."

"So telling them what we really did on Friday and Saturday and Sunday would be out of the question?" Jake asked slyly.

"You wouldn't dare..." I looked at Jake; he couldn't believe I thought he was serious.

"Never. That is just for us. But am I allowed to do this?" he asked. He kissed me with a peck.

"Yes, that was perfect."

"OK, but think of me doing this," he crushed into my lips and rubbed his hands down my back into my jeans. It was difficult to extricate myself and go to class.

At lunch Jake enjoyed meeting my friends and was a perfect gentleman. He even gave the little chaste peck he'd demonstrated earlier and I blushed. When he left, my friends had nothing but questions.

"Is he really only 22?"

"He is sooo hot!"

"How much does he work out?"

"When are you doing him, Ness, or can I?"

"Yes, I know, lots, not saying and no," I answered quickly in turn, hoping I was still blushing due to Jake's earlier kiss. I had a spare period after lunch, despite my extra work the week prior, not finishing any school work on the weekend had put me behind. I would be pretty upset if I let my grades drop for sex…even really, really, really great sex. I caught up with history, English was still a breeze, biology – I had a lab due I hadn't started. In physics and calculus – I was lost. I set off to gym thinking I'd have to ask Dad for help.

After school, I headed to the garage and dropped my bag, "Hey, Jake, how's work?"

"Busy. We're booking into next week. Emmett's even come in to help. I thought he was here to fire my ass – but he apologized again. He's really an OK guy. It's not too often you rip your boss in two and have them apologize. Did the rest of your day go well, Ness? Your friends are fun – did they like me?" I told him what they said. He laughed and pulled me in "Only you, Ness. You tell them that!"

"Sure, Jake. I'll tell them we're destined for each other. I won't sound absolutely nuts. I actually think they'd think that's crazier than if I told them I had vampires for parents. Most people are pretty jaded about love."

"Not us." I fully agreed with a kiss.

The next day Jake worked late and I finished my lab and asked mom for help with calculus, and we bonded over figuring out areas under a curve and solving differential equations. It made much more sense. Mom hadn't taken physics in high school (yet) so wasn't any help in that department.

Dad's physics class was a blast. We used momentum examples like Jake running into Emmett - I could laugh now. And dad could demonstrate friction by just rubbing his hands together between a piece of paper and it caught on fire – this would be so much fun in class!

Now that I felt caught up I knew I wasn't going escape a lecture.

"You need time to study. University next year – it's not going to get easier. Life is about balance, Ness. Talk to Jake."

At that second, Jake walked in and kissed me "I'm here, talk to me about what?" he looked at me, then Edward.

"Homework, Jake. Can we … make time to study?"

"Damn, Ness, I should have thought of that. I can just watch you study every evening, Ness," Jacob stated. And he was true to his word. Wednesday and Thursday, Jake sat with me, made me dinner and played with my hair while I studied. It was great to spend time with Jake and get work done. I made sure to work ahead again, just to be safe. Every night we slept in my bed intertwined, but clothed.


	19. Chapter 18: Passions and Promises

Passions and Promises

On Friday, I had a physics quiz, which I thought I aced, thanks to dad and my extra study time. I packed up at the end of the day and was heading to the garage, when it hit me – Friday. Jake's place. I suddenly couldn't move fast enough. Jake.

I found him fixing a flat on a crossover.

"Jake, any chance you'll finish a little early?" I don't know if it was my tone or the look in my eyes as he looked up. He knew I wanted him. NOW.

"Give me 10 – no 15 minutes, I need a shower," Jake got the tire back on and rechecked the pressure. He came over to kiss me. "5 minutes…," he kissed me again and bolted.

I left my car at the garage and we took the Rabbit. I should have borrowed the Porsche – Alice wouldn't have minded.

Jake parked the car and I hopped out, finding the extra key and opening the door. Jake was right behind me and grabbed me by the waist, crushing into me while closing the door. We stripped in the hall and Jake carried me to bed opening the drawer and putting on protection. He entered me urgently and held me, thrusting to release less than a minute later.

When we had caught our breath, he lifted me up and pulled over the covers. I snuggled into him completely content.

"Ness, I don't know what …. I'm sorry," he finished, but I put a finger to his lips.

"Jake that was...intense," I smiled, and kissed him. "Don't apologize…I was thinking we wouldn't make it home. We would never live it down if Emmett found us doing this in the garage."

Jake chuckled which caused me to respond, Jake caught on. This time he put a finger to my lips. "This one is for you, my Ness". And he set about pleasuring me in every way possible but one for the next half hour. When every sensory neuron was firing I begged Jake to join me. I came as soon as he penetrated…and again…and again…and again as he reached his own climax. We continued into the evening and night, I got my fill and eventually fell asleep in his arms.

I woke shivering, everything dark and rolled over to an empty bed, "Jake?" I called, worried.

"I'm here Ness. One second, I'm just making some breakfast. We have to eat Nessie," he came walking in with a tray of fruit, eggs, toast and sausages. It smelled divine but one look at Jake- he hadn't even bothered to put on boxers - and I wasn't thinking about food. Jake put the tray in front of me then crawled into bed behind me, cradling me into him. He fed me a strawberry and this reminded me I was hungry for more than Jake. We finished everything on the tray and Jake cleared off the bed. He kissed me gently and we picked up where we left off.

We stirred with the sun streaming through the window. "Jake," I kissed him for the millionth time since yesterday but it tingled like the first. "We need to get up," I groaned.

He sat up. "What's wrong, Ness?" he said, concerned.

"All my muscles feel like Jell-O. You certainly do something to me, Jake, it's indescribable," I pulled him into the shower, put my hand to his cheek and showed him what I meant. This was the catalyst for an extra-extra-long shower.

We finally dressed and went for a walk. We took the long way along the river to the lake, catching up on our Friday as the conversation the night before had been virtually non-existent. We climbed up a ridge to an overlook for a view of the whole town. He kissed me again and I felt a warmth and love from my head to my toes but not the same carnal urgency as yesterday. Jake seemed to feel it too as he spun me in his arms. It was like magic.

"What would I do without you, Jake?" I asked as I held him.

"You will never have to find out," he said simply.

"Does that mean…you'll never stop phasing," I clarified. No longer a casual conversation, I was suddenly frightened. And I shivered. He held me. I think he knew where I was going with this.

"Ness, if we're wrong about you and you start aging, I'll stop phasing and we'll die peacefully in each other's arms. Otherwise, I'm not going anywhere," Jake was emphatic.

I had tears of joy in my eyes, and kissed him softly, "That's exactly what I was hoping you'd say," and we sat still overlooking the water, knowing we'd be together forever. I imagined us always together, married. What about kids? I wish I knew if I could get pregnant.

"Jake," I stammered.

"Ask me anything, Ness."

"I want to ask Carlisle to run those tests."

"Do you want a baby, Ness?" he sounded willing to oblige immediately.

I kissed him "Not this minute, Jake. I just want to know. I hate being in the dark about my own biology."

Now he was scared, "What if you can conceive….but only with ….someone like you?"

"If you are picturing Nahuel and me, I can assure you that you are the one I want. Or wasn't that clear last night? If we can't have kids together, I say we adopt. Unless, Jake, you already know you wouldn't be the problem. You could…"

He looked horrified. "Never! Ness. Only you remember?" He kissed me so I would never forget.

Our serious talk behind us, we ran around the lake and then I left Jake at the garage and gave him the keys to my car. I went back to his place to study and we decided on dinner and a movie later. I finished my English reading and I had to admit even though I'd already read all the material, being older, I noticed nuances I hadn't seen before. History was also interesting though if I had been teaching the course I may have tried chronological order. We were studying the development of Indian Reservations; I read the chapters, though thought Jake might have a different take on it. For Calculus and Physics it surprised me that I found it so easy to grasp the new material after my near meltdown last week. I even read the next unit in Physics and found electromagnetism interesting – sort of like the pull Jake and I have towards each other. Finally, Biology, if I had read the syllabus I might not have been shocked that the next chapter was human reproduction and sexuality. Great. I thought I'd studied this enough since about 4th grade (yes, the Cullens kept up with most of the standard curriculum, though Vampire History was an elective not offered by too many school boards). I decided to read the chapter and by the end came to the conclusion Jake and I had a much more fun and interesting way to learn about human (or nearly human) sexuality than the book described. I decided to Google "fertility problems" and came up with a list of reasons from endometriosis to polycystic ovaries to blocked tubes. It seemed these were pretty easy to rule in or out. The one reason that stood out was ovulation problems. I had no idea when my cycle was. Carlisle had run tests over the years and concluded that my hormones had started a cyclical rhythm about 2 years ago but I didn't notice any change in my mood. The girls at school frequently complained about bloating, cramps, PMS, sore breasts and the dreaded period, I don't think I'd ever joined the conversation.

Jake got home mid-afternoon and I made him a late lunch. I had questions for him.

"Jake do you think I'm moody?"

"I don't think there's a right way to answer that," he hesitated.

"Come on Jake."

"No?" he answered but with a question.

I looked dejected.

"So now that I know that wasn't what you wanted to hear, can you explain?" I did and I could see he tried to understand but I also think he had gotten enough of this from Leah.

"Sorry, Jake. I'm just having an off day."

So…you're being moody?" He teased and kissed me. To my surprise that comment brightened my day even more than the kiss. Maybe I was.

We headed out to the early show and a late dinner. When we got back we lounged on the couch drinking tea. I finally remembered my history homework and asked Jake. He told me everything he knew about the Quileute reservation and native history in general. He told me to call Billy if I needed more help for a paper. I would call, but I didn't think I could write about the Quileutes – it's a subject too close to home. Keep the secret. Always. We talked into the night, late night was starting on cable. I pulled Jake into bed and we undressed, falling asleep in each other's arms.

When I woke, Jake was already awake, holding me while I slept. He kissed me.

"Jake, I'm sorry…" He kissed me again.

"I was about to say the same thing." He laughed. "Is the honeymoon phase over already, are we going to have to schedule our lovemaking between Church and Bingo?"

"I don't think I can go to church…lightening and all. Or maybe that's another myth. Or maybe that's just witches, I don't remember. Regardless, we're skipping church" I rambled as I kissed and caressed him. "And B-4 –get it? - you get up there's something I want to do…"

We had a very, very fulfilling morning. I think at some point both Jake and I yelled Bingo.

At dinner that night I couldn't help but give Emmett some ammunition telling him about our Saturday night. I'd warned Jake in advance – no retaliation permitted.

"Already bored with Jake, Ness, what are you going to do for forever? "

I turned to Jake. "Jake, we should really find out where the Bingo hall is." Jake blushed profusely and nearly choked on his lasagna; I couldn't even look at Edward.

"Or learn to play chess." Emmett was goading me. He wasn't focused on Jake or Edward.

"No. I think I'll ask Rosalie to teach me everything she knows about the piano." I smiled sweetly and he took one look at Rose and shut up. Good thing he had already forgotten I had to sleep – I haven't thought of a good comeback for that one yet, I'd have to ask Jake to help me work on it.

On Monday Emmett and I had an understanding of a temporary truce. I was starting to understand his sense of humor and how it might spice up his own sex life, I mean after 75 years you'd think it might get a little lacklustre. But then I thought of Jake and how it feels to be with him and I nixed that….time was a gift with Jake that I would cherish forever. Though I might give Emmett a little slack…. maybe when Edward isn't around.

My history essay was due on Wednesday and it was a little delicate as I decided to write about the Quileutes after all. I did call Billy and got way more information to add to my paper. Everyone in the family read it to make sure there was nothing in it to make any one nervous. Jake even asked to send it to Billy when I got it back. Good thing too, my history teacher wanted to send it to the reservation on my behalf, but I declined. I didn't tell her about Jacob.

Jake and I headed to our concert in Boston right after school on Friday. It was a great evening and the concert went so late we booked a hotel in Boston for the night. Jake was parking the car and I got the key. The credit card was finally coming in handy – a penthouse on the wharf with my favorite man. Once we walked in and eyed the king-sized bed and Jacuzzi there were no thoughts of sleep. Jake wanted to talk about the cost, but I pushed him onto the bed and silenced him with more than a kiss. Later, Jake called for room service and I ran the Jacuzzi. It was perfect way to spend the rest of the evening, most of the night and all morning – we had no choice but to call for a late check-out when Jake pulled me out of the shower and back to bed. We spent the afternoon wandering around Copley Square and Newbury Street, and then found Carlisle at Harvard, he was busy grading exams.

"Nice campus." I said. Carlisle waved us into his office.

"Ness, Jake, what brings you so far from home?" Carlisle asked. I told him all about the concert and very little about the hotel. He redirected the conversation back to the campus and the medical school.

"Are you thinking of applying, Ness? Deadline is coming up for next September."

"Medical school – definitely someday. But I think I'm looking into a doctorate in genetics." I said. Jake knew and Carlisle wasn't surprised. "But Harvard? I don't know. It's a little exclusive, isn't it?"

"You've got the grades, Ness. And you scored really well on your SATs. Ask Rosalie for a reference letter, she has a few doctorates. Since we have the same last name, my letter wouldn't hold weight. Though goading Emmett won't get you on Rosalie's good side." Carlisle was like that praise and a caution, there would be nothing else said about it.

"I guess it couldn't hurt to apply. But Jake..."

"Jake," Jake interrupted, referring to himself in the third person, "would love to live in Cambridge."

I squeezed Jake briefly for the show of support. He wasn't so subtle and kissed me.

"Thanks Carlisle. I'll think about it. We actually had another question." He waited; now I knew that he knew we hadn't come on our detour otherwise.

"What tests can you run to see if I can conceive?" I asked.

"Ness. I was expecting this conversation in a few years, maybe even longer. Why the hurry?" Carlisle asked gingerly.

"It's just hard. Not knowing." I said and he nodded.

"We'll run the tests next month. Ultrasound, sequential lab work, pelvic exam…" he hesitated. "If you'd feel more comfortable Edward could..."

Both Jake and I looked at him with horror.

"Or Rosalie … if you prefer, she hasn't actually graduated – didn't do her surgical rotation – but she has the knowledge."

I shook my head. "Only the best." I hated the idea of Carlisle looking... there… but it had to be done.

"So, in a few weeks," I repeated and Carlisle nodded.

"In the meantime, in all your spare time, it could be time to start your university applications."

I finally caught on. "Edward told you!"

"No secrets, Ness. And he wants you to focus on your studies – for now."

I thanked Carlisle, he agreed to my request, and even though Edward was behind the push to apply for colleges I couldn't begrudge him either. It would be good to have a difference focus. As much as I loved my aunt, I didn't want to become like Rosalie.

I told him we'd see him at Sunday dinner, Carlisle said he'd be leaving in about an hour. I knew he'd be home long before we'd get to Jake's.

Jake and I went through the drive-through for dinner before getting on the highway. And true to form an hour and fifteen minutes later Carlisle passed us in a blur. Riding with any of them was one thing, being passed was another. I couldn't believe anything could move that fast. I hoped no one had a dash cam – but then relaxed even in slow-motion nothing would be caught, and knowing Carlisle he'd put on stolen plates just to be extra safe. Anything to protect us – except the obvious thing I suggested: slow down.

When we got home, fatigue hit. Jake and I looked at each other.

"How about we..." I started.

"… don't tell Emmett" Jake finished.

We fell asleep shortly thereafter.

I woke to coffee brewing and the door slamming shut.

"Morning, Ness" Jake bounded in looking like he had energy to burn. He disappeared into the kitchen and came to bed with 2 cups of coffee. "I went for a run, just ten miles, didn't want you to miss me."

He handed me my coffee and gave me a kiss. It was a juggling act, but I managed to put the coffee on the side table and pull Jake into bed simultaneously. I grabbed Jake's coffee from mid-air before a drop was spilt. Not vampire speed – but not half bad either. And now I had Jake.

He mumbled "shower," but I would get us there. I pulled off his shorts first, as fast as I was I had nothing on Jake. I rolled the condom down and followed. No foreplay made it a tight fit. I pressed into him and despite his initial hesitancy he could feel the benefit. I made short work of him… four thrusts and he was mine. I kissed him so no apology could escape his lips, this was on me and I loved all six seconds of it. I kissed and licked his jugular, then bit and sucked. Naughty vampire, only today. Jake cried out with both pleasure and pain. He came again.

Thirty seconds from the time Jake had walked through the door, we were in the shower.

"Jake?" despite my recent bravado, I was nervous. "Are you OK?"

He still hadn't caught his breath, but nodded and kissed me vigorously. The tiny puncture wounds on his jugular were already healing. They would be gone in a few hours, thank goodness for Jake's healing ability – if Emmett heard of this I'd be mortified.

"OMG Ness. You play dirty. Watch me." He finally said. And he pulled me out of the shower and did the exact opposite, every caress too soft, too delicate, I was at his mercy for an hour or two, I lost track of time, every 5 minutes he'd take me to a happy place and then take it away just before climax. I begged, pleaded - this was surely a form of torture. He gave me his lips and I pressed against them like a lifeline, his fingers first brushed then rubbed my wetness, then he entered me. At first slow and I thought it was another tease, then ever so slowly the tempo increased and my heart rate followed. Faster, deeper, Jake was looking at me now no longer teasing; he wanted it like I did. I pressed into him and matched him thrust for thrust until "OH, JAKE!"

He wasn't done. I couldn't move. Every slight movement or shift of Jake's body was another shiver of ecstasy coursing through me. Each time I figured it couldn't get more intense but it did. I almost felt I would explode with pleasure and then I did as Jake released and held me in his arms. I couldn't move or speak. I just kissed Jake and held him. He called to me, but I still hadn't found my voice and I didn't want him to worry. I was in a happy place. I put my hand on his cheek and showed him exactly how I felt and was feeling. He looked awestruck. That made two of us.

Hours later we stirred. Jake was just staring at me. I didn't understand.

"Jake?"

He stuttered. "I…Ness… I … didn't know."

"Know what Jake?"

"How much you love me," he could barely speak.

"I..." I remembered what I had showed him. Not just this amazing morning, but snippets of our whole life together. Every feeling and emotion that could pour from me had in those few minutes.

"You're everything to me Jake."

"I love you, Ness. I wish I could do that, show you..."

I looked deep into his eyes "You just did, Jake. You always do."

We kissed and my world was changed again. Every time I thought I couldn't feel more for Jake, I was always wrong. I wondered what was next. There had to be a word with more meaning than love.

We got up to stretch and shower. I needed a run and Jake was more than willing to oblige. Throughout the run I kept pace with Jake. After we got back home and showered again it was nearly time for Sunday family dinner.

Dad wasn't yet home when we arrived. Jake and I sat on the couch (Rosalie wouldn't let us in the kitchen) and Jake talked with Emmett about hockey. Really and truly about hockey. No off topic comments whatsoever. Thank goodness he didn't know about the biting.

Jasper looked up from Alice towards Jake and I wasn't surprised. Jake stroked my hair, while he strategized with Emmett about the best playoff scenarios. When Dad came in he read Jasper and hence Jake and me. With all the unsaid in the room I could even tell that mom had let down her shield and was having a one way conversation with dad. So I started my own.

 _Don't do this dad. This is between Jake and I. Jasper's just reading our emotions, a little intense_. I didn't want to tell him, but my thoughts went there involuntarily, every moment. I cringed with embarrassment. Edward froze total in shock for a minute. _Sorry Dad. Jasper is fine, Alice is fine. Drop it. Please._

"Emmett, you're really going to bet against the Penguins? I thought you knew hockey." Edward said as he pulled up a chair. _Thank you, dad._

Our evening continued like any other Sunday, except Jasper changed places with Alice so he was beside me. Alice just smiled. Jasper was so frequently called upon to dissipate tensions that it looked like Alice was going to burst from her seat with happiness with how Jasper was capturing the perfect love surrounding Jake and me. Rosalie had made Jake and I steak and all the fixings, Jacob asked why his wasn't in his favorite bowl. I didn't get it but everyone else laughed, even Rosalie and Dad.

Dad did corner me alone before bed. His only warning: No biting. I was embarrassed he saw that but also thought the whole thing could have been worse. I wasn't going remind him there had been a time where he'd said biting Jake was fine. This was obviously a different context. He nodded as he walked away. Nothing gets by Edward.

Jake and I still slept in my bed clothed, I did ask him about the biting when he dropped me at school on Monday and he disagreed with Edward "I heal Ness, and it was incredible." I agreed about the incredible part anyway but wasn't sure about the actual act. I gave Jake a kiss right outside the doors – it seemed to me as if the whole school was watching. I went straight to the garage after work the rest of the week to do my homework, start some applications and watch Jake work. It was still amazing to me that our new connection had only deepened since our first hesitant kiss. I finished my homework early on Thursday and helped out with the three remaining oil changes of the day. I didn't know the next day would change my life forever.


	20. Chapter 19: Not Fun Period

**A/N: What's a vampire story without blood?**

Not Fun. Period.

On Friday I woke late, Jake had already left for work and if I didn't hurry I'd be late for school as well. I hopped out of bed and felt a little cramp. I figured I'd walk it off so stretched and headed to the washroom for my morning routine. It wasn't routine. There was blood, not a lot, but enough to make me lock the bathroom door, false security for sure. I obviously had no supplies – I looked under the sink to make sure (maybe one of these days Alice would see my future). Not today. How? Why now? It didn't make any sense. I showered, dressed quickly and ran out of the house not stopping for my car. There were eight pairs of eyes on me all frozen in the great room as I made my getaway. It was so frigging embarrassing. Mom called a few seconds later. I didn't answer. I made my way to the pharmacy for pads and tampons as well as a notebook and pen as my bag was still sitting on the chair in my room. I headed to school; I ducked into the washroom (I quickly decided tampons were far too complicated), to my locker and then to class.

 _Ness, please come home?_ Mom texted as I took my seat.

 _I'm fine. At school_. I texted back.

 _C U right after class._ Mom replied, it wasn't a question.

I turned my phone off. I already didn't have books. No sense in having the teacher glaring at me. I already felt like I had a spotlight on me today. I tried to focus on class but really all I could think about were the cramps. Looking around the room I wondered how many other girls were thinking the same thing. How did Jasper ever get through high school? I guess I'll find out – I can't avoid my house forever…unless I stayed at Jake's permanently. Jake…damn…it's Friday. This would definitely hamper my plans.

"Miss Cullen?" I was asked a question. I didn't know the question much less the answer which caused a lot of murmurs in class. I was never distracted. I couldn't wait until I could make my escape.

Jake surprised me at lunch. He was a bright light in my otherwise horrible day. He brought me a burger and shake, which I fully appreciated - I was starving as I'd obviously skipped breakfast. I thanked him and he joined our table, to ogles from all my friends.

"What's wrong, Ness?" he asked immediately. Count on Jake to know my every nuance.

"Later," I whispered. He held my hand and squeezed it lightly. Our exchange did not go unnoticed but I hoped by Monday there would be other gossip around the lunch table.

I finished the burger and half the shake, Jake drank the rest despite the fact that he had already had one of his own.

I wanted to lean into him and kiss him but as our hand-holding was enough for rumours, I didn't want to fuel the fire but Jake had other ideas.

"Ness, can I steal you for a minute?" he asked suddenly.

I felt my face flush. "Sure." I stood up amidst the murmurs and followed Jake to his Rabbit. He asked again about what was bothering me.

We weren't far enough away from school for me to fall into his arms.

"Can we drive, Jake?" We got in and drove down the street just far enough from school so that I could put my arms around Jake and give him a long kiss that he returned. I think we just became top of the rumour mill, but I had more pressing concerns.

"Jake. This morning…my period started."

Jake sat there at first confused …then it hit him just like it did me when I locked myself in with a flimsy lock.

"Jasper?" He was terrified and stared at me like he could have lost me. I told him how I ran out of the house to school. He looked hurt then pulled me towards him caressing my cheek. "Why didn't you call?" He ran his fingers through my hair like he was checking for damage.

"I'm ok, Jake. Just in a little shock. And embarrassed." I admitted. "I'm sorry."

"You don't think this is good news?" Jake pressed. Then he smiled the biggest smile. I didn't understand.

"No. Cramps. Blood. Living with vampires. Not one good thing about it."

"Maybe it means something more" Jake stated. "Maybe, it means … we're compatible in every way."

Jake was beaming.

I had to admit my thoughts hadn't even gone there this time, even though I'd been whining about it only a few weeks ago. Jake had immediately thought of the possibilities, I was touched.

"Babies!" I kissed him for even thinking it.

He grinned, "Not now!" repeating my words from earlier.

I grumbled something I thought was incoherent. But Jake heard and said "Impossible. I will have a great weekend, spoiling you, cooking and whatever else you want to do. Can I pick you up after school?"

I told him mom was coming and he just shook his head.

"I'll be here." He wanted to see mom's reaction. "She'll be fine, Jake. I overreacted this morning. Hormones." I shrugged.

He still shook his head, and then started the car. Damn I was going to be late for gym. Gym, I groaned – a new locker room horror. I guess I'd have to figure out those stupid tampons after all.

"See you soon, Ness." he dropped me off at the door, I gave him a quick kiss on his cheek – there were still a few stragglers heading to class. I had 2 minutes to change.

The afternoon was a big improvement from the morning. Gym was fine, we just ran. I could have gone ten times further in half the time, but it was still nice to stretch and get outside rather than only make 50% of my shots when we play basketball. It was sometimes tough pretending to be human. Next time my friends complained about that time of the month again I'd be sure to join in, no pretending required. In Chemistry we worked on a lab though my partner was no help with the lab other than supplying the lab book. She couldn't stop asking about Jake. She didn't ask anything uncomfortable; I even found it fun to talk about Jake and our new relationship. I told her he was making dinner for me tonight. If things were different, I'd like to have a few close girlfriends to talk about things like this all the time, but I realize it's too dangerous. I finished the lab, and knew we had formed the right compound - it was aspirin. I didn't try it, not because I doubted my chemistry skills but I didn't know what aspirin might do to my body. I likely didn't need to thin my blood at any time, especially now; it might be a bad omen.

Jake was standing right outside the school when the bell rang. Mom was standing statue-still at the sidewalk with Dad. I should have known. I whispered, 'go away' to my parents from 50 feet away. They just shook their heads. Jake ran up to me and pulled me towards him shielding me from harm. I kissed him then nodded towards our destination; he was hesitant but we walked towards Bella and Edward. Jake's pace slowed the closer we walked.

"We're fine, Ness, Jake," Dad answered our unspoken thoughts. I pulled Jake with me, he wasn't convinced. They didn't move forward, just waited for us to come to them. I briefly wondered what this would look like to outsiders. Maybe I was introducing Jake to my 'aunt and uncle'? At least we were getting closer but Jake's heart rate was increasing exponentially. I put my hand on it to try to slow it down, "Relax, Jake".

Soon we were standing 10 feet away, not really conducive to a private human conversation. But it worked for us. It didn't matter that we knew 2 feet, 10 feet or 50 feet away would make no difference to a vampire attack, Jake still couldn't inch closer.

"Jake, if we thought there was even the slightest danger we wouldn't be here. You know that." Edward tried to reassure him. "I've been to High School more than once, we're going to university, this issue is not unique". Except, he looked at Jacob and frowned. I wondered why, and then thought of our conversation at lunch. Edward coughed, and then amended "Well...maybe a little unique".

Mom started, "I was so worried, when you left this morning. I thought you were hurt. Edward had to tell me... the news". She smiled. I needed my mom. I let go of Jake and walked towards my parents. Jake followed a step behind but seemed to understand. I stopped a foot away, sort of an unasked question, mom nodded and I hugged her. I love Jake, but for some things moms are important too. When Dad hugged me it became too much for Jake, so I gave them both one more hug. Jake relaxed slightly as I drew closer to him again.

I had a few things at Jake's, but I really needed my bag and another change of clothes. I had to ask. "Jasper?"

"He's hunting with Alice. But he's fine. I know." Dad answered, taping his head as if to emphasize – not new, just a little annoying. Dad laughed.

"Jake, are you going back to work?" I had to ask, he usually wasn't done until 5 and had left two hours early to act as my personal bodyguard.

"Nope. Emmett's there. He still owes us." Jake was serious. "He came in to help out. I was in a little shock. He even suggested I buy you lunch but he didn't tell me anything. I'm not sure if I should be mad at him or not." Jake smiled. "What do you think?" He took me in his arms and kissed me as if my parents were not right beside us.

I could only murmur completely caught up his kiss. "No. Emmett's OK, I think he's learned his lesson."

I saw dad cringe and mom elbow him in the ribs. Hard. This caused me to breakaway.

"Jake, I need to go home and get a few things. Can I meet you at home…your place?" I slipped, they all noticed and Jake kissed me again. He still shook his head.

"I'm going with you. Too dangerous."

"Yeah. Carlisle and Esme. Scary." I tried to shake in fright, but all I could do was laugh. "OK Jake. I'll let you protect me from grandma and grandpa."

I rode with Jake so I wouldn't give him a heart attack. I grabbed a few clothes and headed to the bathroom. Even though Alice can't see my future she more than makes up for it – she bought 10 different types of pads and tampons. Jake picked up a tampon box and started reading the label, I wacked it out of his hand "Jake!"

He looked at me sheepishly. "It's educational." I rolled my eyes. I packed both a box of tampons and a box of pads as well as some clothes, then I grabbed my school bag and we headed downstairs.

Esme and Carlisle were in the living room with Bella and Edward.

Esme walked over to me and held me. Carlisle gave me a quick medical exam disguised as a hug. "Grandpa, I'm fine. A little cramp here," I pointed to my lower left slide, "but fine."

He touched it with his frozen hands, I tensed. "Your temperature is up, your heart rate is up, your blood pressure is up and you're guarding- so it's more than a little cramp," Carlisle assessed.

"Jake's anxiety is contagious. But I bet you're going to want blood work next." I said wryly knowing Jake would hear the word blood and freak. I wasn't wrong.

Carlisle nodded. Esme and Bella sat down quietly on the couch, Edward hesitated briefly but did the same. I walked up to the 'lab' with Carlisle and Jake – Jake wasn't letting me out of his sight. I rolled up my sleeve and Carlisle drew so many vials it looked like Jake was going to say something rude. I squeezed his hand.

As soon as we were done I wanted to stand but Carlisle pulled out the ultrasound machine and patted the exam table. Damn!

"Just where the cramp is Ness, I want to make sure everything is ok," Carlisle reassured me.

I tried to stand but felt woozy. I guess he really did draw a lot of blood. Jake helped me up. Carlisle turned away and Jake helped lift my shirt and undid my pants to pull them down to my pelvis. Carlisle didn't remark on how my heart rate or breathing increased with Jake's touch. I sat back up on the table and Carlisle came back with the gel and warned me that it would be cold, Jake shook his head. He got Carlisle to squeeze it into his hand and rubbed his hands together. Jake gently put the warm gel all over the area and wiped his hands. Jake shifted closer to my head and held my hand. Carlisle turned on the ultrasound machine.

Five minutes later and when I absolutely refused to let him do the same on other side he told me he didn't see anything abnormal.

"Like…" I probed.

"A mass, a ruptured cyst," Carlisle was confident, then mumbled, "or an ectopic pregnancy."

Jake looked at Carlisle with terror. "A what?"

"It's a pregnancy that usually happens outside the uterus, it can be very concerning. Otherwise, normal anatomy, everywhere I could see. I would like to scan the other side at some point, Ness."

"So I'm right. I am just having my period?"

"Looks that way. Drink plenty of fluid. Pizza might not cut it, Ness. You might have to hunt. You're losing iron. Take it easy this weekend until you know how your body is reacting. I'll let you know about the blood tests when I have the results. It might take me a while. I'm not a hematologist and I can't send it out for a second opinion, though Edward will help."

"OK, Doc," Jake was relieved and committing all the recommendations to memory. Even my substandard hearing had heard Jake's heart thud when he heard the word pregnancy.

"I'm going to go down and leave you to dress. There are cloths here to wash up. Jake?"

Jake nodded. I was relieved. I preferred Jake's warm touch on my tender belly. He grabbed a dry cloth and removed most of the goo, then ran the water warm and cleaned off the rest. He helped me stand and do up my pants. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him, nudging his lips open to taste him, pulling him to me. Jake responded with equal passion. I ran my hand up under his shirt and sighed. We could have stayed in the lab all night like this but the silence two floors below made me think twice.

"Let's go home, Jake" He nodded, as his hands were pulling at my shirt. I made sure to look in the floor length mirror on the way out. We were decent.

We walked downstairs hand-in-hand, no sense in pretending we hadn't been busy upstairs. They could all hear everything.

I put my head on Jake's shoulder and yawned. It was only five o'clock, maybe my hemoglobin was low.

"Mom, can you thank Alice for me? And Jasper too, I bet she dragged him to the pharmacy," mom smiled and nodded. "We'll be back on Sunday."

Jake tensed and looked at me. I nodded. I hugged everyone again. Especially Dad, he knew why Carlisle was doing the ultrasound and didn't attack Jake. Edward nodded and half-smiled, he wasn't happy about Jake and me but he really was trying.

"I'm happy you're happy, Ness."

"Thanks, Dad."

We made our way home in the Rabbit. Jake asked me about hunting but I was too tired.

"Pizza?" I looked at him hopefully. Jake bought 2 pies and again ate everything but the few slices I scarfed. I yawned again.

"Sorry, Jake, I'm beat. I'm going to bed," I got up and Jake followed me. "Stay up, no one normal goes to bed at six on a Friday night. I'm fine. Go out, I'm just going to sleep."

He shook his head and followed me to the bedroom. I grabbed my bag and walked into the washroom and locked the door. Jake didn't need to see this. I washed up and put my jeans back on, took off my bra and put on a nightshirt. I yawned again and stepped out to the bedroom. Jake had taken of his shirt, but was still wearing his jeans too. "Your turn." I gestured to the washroom as I pulled back the covers.

I pulled myself into bed gingerly and rolled over, drifting off. Jake turned the lights off and crawled in beside me. He slid over to me and put his arms around me. He put his hand on my left side and gently caressed my side tucking his hand lightly into the top of my jeans. My own heating pad. I sighed with contentment and didn't move. I drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

I woke with the sun streaming in on my pillow. Jake's hand hadn't moved from its spot but my cramp was way worse. I gently got out of bed to the washroom and found myself sitting in the shower, crying. I knew it was stupid, just a little – no, a lot of, blood but it's not like I'd never seen blood, hell, I basically grew up on it. But it was so surreal watching it just wash down the drain. Suddenly, Jake was frantic.

"Ness, what's wrong? Let me in, Ness! Please."

"No! Go away, Jake." He didn't listen and managed to open the door with a table knife. He had a towel and stood me up not caring about getting water and blood on his jeans or the floor. He wrapped me in the towel and carried me to bed. I tried to protest but didn't get far. He found me some underwear and sweats that I'd usually only wear as pyjama bottoms but I didn't care. He grabbed the box from the bathroom, handed it to me then went to the kitchen. He would help if I'd asked him to but I was already mortified. I dried off and got on the undies, pad and sweats. Then got up and threw the towel in the wash. I dried my eyes and I hoped I'd be done with these crazy hormones soon. Jake was making a spinach and egg omelette with figs and apricots on the side and a glass of OJ. He didn't make me ask.

"Alice. She dropped off groceries. Broke in yesterday, actually. I should be mad. But everything is high in iron. I figured you wouldn't want the chicken livers?"

I made a face. "Thanks Jake. I'm sorry I scared you."

" Just eat Ness, I'm worried about you. We should hunt today." I nodded and took a bite of the omelette. It was delicious, and soon finished the whole plate. Jake gave me his serving too.

I went to lie on the couch but wasn't comfortable. I got up and returned to bed. Jake joined me and I drifted off to sleep again though I got up a frequently during the day for washroom visits and was still sore. Jake insisted we get outside while there was still light; I tried to express some enthusiasm, worried he was going to call Carlisle to examine me again.

We walked along the river, into the hills, neither of us wanting to get too far from town in case I really did pass out or something. I didn't know what the usual blood loss was but I was pretty sure this wasn't normal. We stopped on the edge of a clearing, a large herd of Elk on the far side. Jake removed his shirt and undid his pants. He went to turn around and remove his pants and boxers but I stopped him, as tired as I was I wanted to help. I faced him and held his waist, then slid my hands down his back and into his boxers. He sighed and pulled me towards him. I had to focus, currently I was hindering our hunting plan but loving every minute of it. I pulled down his pants and boxers watching his eyes respond to my touch. I wanted to lift him out of his pants but knew I didn't have the restraint to bend down and stop there. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him and got him to step out of his bottoms. He looked glorious. I pulled him towards me carefully and caressed him, he shook with pleasure and it showed.

The elk were still there and my stomach growled. Jake laughed silently aware we could scare them if we made too much noise. Jake walked away from me and at first I followed, but then I understood he needed to phase. I let him go 10 feet away before I saw him shimmer and bound into a full-fledged wolf. He walked back to my side. We'd hunted recently together but I don't know it was because it was my hormones were so out of whack, but Jake looked amazing with his russet fur and questioning eyes. He looked at the elk and back at me. This had been our game when I didn't want to hunt. I nodded and ran, eyeing the largest male. I could hear Jake gaining on me but I jumped and flew through the air to the animal's jugular. My reflexes were off so I had to take two bites and was sprayed with blood. Jake took the second largest, seconds behind me. We ate and drank until full. I ran back to the river and washed my hands and face while Jake splashed through the water. Nothing I could do about my clothes.

"Jake!"

He put his paws on my shoulders and licked my face. Then he rolled on the ground. I joined him and rubbed his ears and chin, cuddling into his warm body and fur. I rubbed his chest and part-way down his belly then froze. Jake let out a little playful bark, stood and ran; phased and came back to me in seconds.

"Sorry, Ness, this better?" he was still naked, but human, and no hormonal half-vampire could resist. I fell into him and we rolled around in the grass.

I murmured contentedly in his ear; then nibbled his earlobe. "It's easier to do this," I replied breathless. I licked his neck and found his pulse quicken pressing my teeth lightly on his jugular. He surrendered completely. He let me explore every inch of his chest with my tongue but when I tried to move lower, he pulled me up to his lips.

"Jake," I wanted him but knew that was problematic. At least I could hold and stroke and lick… Jake just kissed me and shook his head.

"I'm taking care of you today, remember?" He whispered in my ear. "Are you feeling any better?"

"I do. A little" I tried to assess, Jake would know if I downplayed it. "Still a little cramp but better than it was. Still tired." I analysed.

He picked me up and put me down in the soft grass while he dressed. "I'll carry you home."

I didn't quibble and fell asleep in his arms on the way. He tried to put me on the bed, but I shook my head. "Shower." I could feel I was sticky from the run and hunt and tumble in the grass, I had leaves in my hair and my clothes were ruined. He took me to the bathroom and helped me with my shirt and bra, my nipples were peaks. Jake licked one gently which brought me to instant orgasm. I clutched him and he looked at me in wonder, my only answer "hormones." I had tears of joy in my eyes.

I wanted him with me, but kicked him out of the bathroom. I ran the shower and stripped. I couldn't believe there was still so much blood. I rinsed and washed my hair, thinking of Jake's light touch again. When I got out, Jake had left me a towel and some PJs. I dressed quickly, cleaned up the washroom and threw the clothes in the laundry. Jake had already put the load from earlier into the dryer, I smiled. He was lounging on the bed pretending to read but was anxious.

"OK Ness?"

"Better."

"I'm sorry…" he started.

I shook my head. "That was amazing, Jake. I just wish…" I gazed down his abdomen.

Jake shook his head. "You're tired."

I tried to protest but a yawn escaped. Jake laughed and gave me a peck on my forehead. "I'm going to shower then make dinner".

He grabbed his clothes and headed in. He was in there for a while and I didn't like it. He came out rubbing his hands together and lightly touched my cheek. I flinched. He was frozen.

"Jake, you don't have to …"

"Ness, a cold shower is invigorating." Before I could suggest other things that might also be invigorating he changed the subject. "Dinner?"

My stomach growled in agreement.

I could hear him fixing something in the kitchen as I drifted off to sleep waking a few hours later with Jake asleep at my side. I headed to the washroom and it was still horrible. I was thinking of calling Carlisle but decided it could wait until morning. I didn't relish the thought of an internal examination in my current condition but knew that's what he would deem necessary if nothing changed. I found the stir-fry in the fridge that Jake had concocted and ate it cold, it was still delicious. Jake was turning into quite the domestic – cooking, cleaning and, though I hated to admit it, taking care of me in my hormonal state couldn't have been easy. I fantasized about what it would be like to live with Jake all the time but then realized we were rarely apart anyway, except for school and work. I knew I said I wanted to wait for marriage but I couldn't think of the reasons why. We're meant to be together forever – why not start now? I kissed Jake and snuggled close.

Even in sleep he pulled me tighter and whispered "my Nessie."

It was a tough night but easier with Jake there. I woke with a headache, not sleeping more than a couple hours at a time as I spent long stretches in the shower. I had to hunt and usually I'd let Jake sleep but I didn't feel well enough to go alone.

"Jake? Can you come hunting with me, please?" I whispered not wanting to startle him, but it didn't work. I was never needy.

"What's wrong, Ness?" I told him about my night and he was upset I didn't wake him earlier. He pulled out his phone. "I'm calling Carlisle."

"Not yet. Can we hunt first? Nothing big, I just feel thirsty."

"Carlisle can bring some of his supplies, Ness. You should rest."

"That's human blood Jake. I would tell you if it was that much of an emergency – honest." Jake conceded and we walked into the forest. I wasn't going to be winning any prizes today, except by default. Jake wasn't going to hunt, he was only there to protect me.

We found a small herd of deer south of town, I caught one but just barely and when I was done, I lay on the grass exhausted but was starting to feel better.

Jake helped me stand, "Carlisle?"

"Not yet Jake, I know what he will want to do and it's embarrassing. Carlisle is good about these things, I know, but he's still my grandfather. I wish I could just go to a regular clinic."

"I'll be there."

I know Jake, I will want you there, need you there, but can we just go home for a few hours?" I pleaded. Jake nodded, I think partially because I did look better but also just because I asked him.

Over the following few hours the change was dramatic. I felt better, the cramping was almost gone and the flow had reduced to something like a creek rather than Niagara Falls. I was even brave enough to read the tampon box. I figured it out on my own with difficulty, certain Jake knew his way around down there better than I did, but this was something I wasn't comfortable having Jake help me with. I knew it probably wouldn't make a difference to my family, but I felt better knowing the blood was at least staying within my body. Jake made me another omelette and one for himself, I chastised him for not eating all day but he was so happy that I was feeling better I couldn't be mad at him for long.

It was finally time to head home. I called mom to let her know we were on the way. Edward would know about our rough weekend immediately, I'd have to tell Carlisle so he could run more tests and do the exam, it was inevitable, but hopefully he could combine it with the tests I wanted him to run.

To my surprise Jasper was on the deck to welcome us back. Jake tensed immediately and then relaxed.

"Jasper. Quit it." Jake said.

I'm just sharing my mood, Jake. Don't worry. Alice sees me better than anyone-even myself sometimes- and she would know if I was conflicted. Come in, everyone is anxious to see you, Ness."

Jake walked up the stairs without a care in the world dragging me along this time. Jasper's doing I was sure. Jasper led the way and walked to his usual spot behind Alice; it looked like no matter how much Alice trusted him he still couldn't trust himself. I walked to Dad first, knowing he would be the most worried in a few seconds.

"Dad, really I'm fine now. Rough weekend, but Jake took care of me." I hugged him as I knew both Jake and I were replaying the weekend in our minds.

He looked panicked. I could only think of one other time I'd seen him that scared. I was seconds old.

"You should have…" Edward started yelling at Jake and then stopped. I think he was going to say 'brought her home' but the amount of blood he'd seen in my visions stopped him mid-sentence and he glared at Rosalie for an unforgotten transgression. Then he softened, I'd never heard my dad with such emotion, "Thank-you, Jake, for taking care of Renesmee." To my surprise he even gave Jake a hug, this was an absolute first.

I had to fill in mom and Carlisle. On hearing the story Jasper even took a few more paces backwards. Everyone looked concerned but not as horrified as Dad, until he filled in the details. I was surprised that verbally I could already downplay the events of the weekend, when my memories were seemingly infallible. Carlisle wanted to examine me right away but I outright refused. I agreed to it in a couple weeks (Jake squeezed my hand) which would hopefully be in the middle of my new cycle, if I was normal in this regard. Only time would tell.

My family didn't do things half way. By mid-week there was a pod system installed in my bathroom directly to the incinerator upstairs. I nixed the idea of a panic room, mostly because it was stupid and the thought of my family hurting me was the furthest thing from my mind. Though a tiny part of me knew a panic room would be no barrier, like a bank vault, there was nothing that would get in the way of a murderous vampire. Except Jake- I was simultaneously terrorized and comforted by this fleeting thought. Jake didn't want me in the house alone, dropping me at school every day and I amused him by going to the garage after school to do my homework and watch him work before we headed home. He knew the flow had stopped by Wednesday morning but Jake still wasn't taking any chances.


	21. Chapter 20: The Exam

The Exam

Jake was cautious the following weekend, wondering if he would hurt me. I had to show him he didn't have to be. I took him in the kitchen and again on the couch. He finally brought me back to bed where we belonged. We did take a run to White Mountain National Forest to get a little stretch after our second night and to clear our heads before Sunday dinner. Carlisle talked to us as soon as we arrived.

"Ness. I would like you here on Wednesday for the exam we talked about. It's important. I'll also run those other test for you as well". Jake and I nodded, it needed to happen.

I was nervous the rest of the evening, Jake excused us early and took me up to bed. He held me as we talked about Wednesday, trying to relieve my fears, though the only thing that really helped was knowing Jake would be there. I was so quiet on Monday and Tuesday at home I think everyone was worried. Esme even asked Carlisle to delay it but I shook my head, it would only prologue my fears.

Jake picked me up at school on Wednesday afternoon, Emmett and Rosalie took over the garage. I kissed him passionately; people looked but we were no longer a topic of gossip. Jake guided me to the car and iIf I told him to just drive he would. But we needed answers and Carlisle was our only option. We headed home and everyone but Emmett and Rosalie were there and on edge, even Carlisle.

"Carlisle, can I have a minute."

"Longer than that, Ness." He handed me a large glass of water. "You need to drink 6 of these. Fill your bladder."

Damn. Not only was this whole thing difficult, I was in danger of peeing my pants. It couldn't get worse. But I did as I was told. Jake also filled a glass for himself. Jake matched me glass for glass, I made it to five and a half.

"That's it Carlisle, unless you want a new couch."

Jake downed his last glass and the rest of mine still smiling.

Carlisle guided both of us upstairs. I was walking a little gingerly, not wanting to jostle my bladder. He already had the table ready and now two ultrasound machines set up. Along with vials – more blood – and specimen containers. Carlisle handed me a gown to fully undress and left the room. Jake helped me undress and lifted me to the exam table carefully. He grabbed the sheet and placed it on my legs and held onto me until Carlisle knocked.

"Come in" I whispered still knowing he would hear.

He explained he would do the same ultrasound as before, both sides this time, but the full bladder would help see things more clearly. Then he mentioned the need for the urine sample, blood work and the internal exam with a second ultrasound. I nodded, mostly worried when he'd have to look there.

Jake helped with the gel again, but even the slight touch on my stomach wasn't good for my bladder. When Carlisle got out the wand and started pressing it was beyond uncomfortable. And it seemed to last forever. One side then the other, he pulled the sheet down a little pressing on what was definitely the bottom of my bladder and then the top. Jake was now fidgeting above me. His show of unity was humbling.

"Go pee, Jake. Both of us don't need to wet the floor." he just shook his head and held my hand.

"Done," Carlisle finally announced.

"So the ultrasound is done. 2 ovaries, 2 fallopian tubes, the uterus is the right size and shape – we'll get back to that later. There does appear to be additional blood vessels to the area, which would explain the additional flow and discomfort, Ness. I believe this is to provide nutrition for a fetus who would survive on blood. It is likely an altered placenta would develop for obtaining all nutrient needs."

I squeezed Jake's hand. It really was looking like a possibility.

Carlisle handed me the specimen container and wipes as well as one for Jake. He explained what he needed. This would not be a problem if I could get there in time. Jake lifted me down from the table but it wasn't easy for either of us. We headed to the bathroom – one toilet. He wouldn't go use the one in my room and insisted I go first. Martyr. His prep was way easier. I finished with the sample but still had a waterfall in me. Jake was anxious and needing to cross his legs. Even with everything I don't think I'd peed in the same room as him before. He went next. I couldn't help but watch. I took his sample to the table with mine while Jake was still finishing. We washed our hands and I help Jake do up his pants.

"Thanks, Jake. That was really stupid, but sweet. I hope Carlisle tells us good news. I really want to know what else you'll do if I ever do get pregnant." We laughed a lot after that. It's a really good thing I didn't say this a few minutes earlier.

We held each other as I prepared myself for the next set of exams. Finally, we walked back and I got settled on the exam table.

"We're ready Carlisle" I said to the door. He walked in right away. The blood work was next – both Jake and I again. He was being a really good sport about this.

Then, it was time. Jake helped me lay down, lifted the gown and placed the sheet over my pelvis and legs while Carlisle prepared the gel and speculum.

It was awkward as Carlisle stared, and spread the opening to insert the speculum. It was cold but didn't last long. Carlisle took some swabs throughout the exam. Jake held my hand to relax me. I wanted to ask Carlisle what he was seeing but thought that might prologue the process.

"Just what I suspected. This one is done, Ness." He threw out the speculum and pulled the sheet down. I breathed a sigh of relief.

After the exam, there was a knock at the door. Jake made sure I was completely covered. Edward came in. "Dad. Out."

Carlisle shook his head. "Time sensitive lab work. He'll only be a minute."

Edward was drawing blood from the samples, putting it on slides. Then adding liquid from syringes to other new samples. Jake was the first to ask what he was doing.

"Venom."

"What?"

"Mixing venom with blood," he said as he looked at the slides again. Both with and without the microscope. "Jake, can I get a saliva sample." Edward asked while holding out a swab; no intonation in his voice whatsoever – it was a question but came out as a statement.

We looked at each other as Jake complied. Hopefully we'd have answers soon. Edward even crushed a bit of his forearm and put it on a slide.

"Dad!"

"Science, honey." Was all he would say, still monotone.

We waited far too long. Carlisle went over to look at the results. He was intrigued but didn't look surprised. I hoped that was good news.

Carlisle talked to Edward silently for a long while.

"Whatever you're saying, I think we need to know." I said, trying not to show my anger.

Edward nodded once to Carlisle and left, pulling the door too tightly behind him causing plaster to fall from the ceiling and the door to break from its hinges. I thought of Esme – she would be annoyed. Carlisle pulled up a chair as if Edward had never entered the room.

"Jake, you already suspect this but venom is definitely fatal to you in your bloodstream. Ness, on the other hand, with exposure to venom you would likely become a full vampire. Meaning venomous."

I shook my head fearful for Jake. "Never."

"It might not come to that. But if a baby is like you and your womb is like Bella's you would have to decide." Jake looked at me. He knew I wanted a child but, I couldn't if this was the only outcome.

"The urine samples showed nothing of note, no kidney disease, liver disease or diabetes." And he looked at me "or pregnancy." I didn't see them do anything with the samples at all, then cringed with a memory. So did Jake.

Carlisle moved on. "Interestingly, Jake, your saliva can initially break down vampire skin, delaying repair."

"Is this important?" I asked.

"I'll know more after the next exam - the transvaginal ultrasound." He turned the monitor, "Ness would you like to see the screen?"

I nodded.

"And Jake?"

"You'll stay?" I asked Jake quietly.

"Always."

Carlisle pulled out a long wand and I think I gasped. Carlisle explained the sensor and what he was looking for. He handed me the wand to put it in myself. Jake helped me sit up. Carlisle went to review the slides and samples I wished I knew what he was thinking. Jake kissed me to bring me back to task – the wand.

I tried to find the spot but was shaking too badly to insert it. Jake took my hand and guided the wand into the right place even with the sheet over my lower half. He kissed me and called for Carlisle.

At least with the wand Carlisle didn't have to look directly at me, there was the screen. He pressed record and pointed out various parts on the screen which I'm glad he could see – it looked like a fuzzy black and white picture with many circles, the biggest completely white. He continued recording and maneuvering the wand. Finally it was done and he extricated the probe and handed me a towelette to wash up and graciously went back to working on the samples. When I was clean and covered Carlisle rewound the video and was in his element-teaching. He very intrigued with a tiny broken white line at top of the screen. That's what he pointed at next. This is your hymen – completely vampire skin. I believe, unlike in humans, it was fully sealed until…"

Not as a doctor, but as my grandfather he couldn't form the words.

"…it was broken" good save, Carlisle.

I wasn't as diplomatic. "Intercourse." Both Carlisle and Jake looked at me in shock but Carlisle nodded.

"This could not have been done by a human, it would take something else to disintegrate this tissue."

"This is hard for all of us Carlisle. Using euphemisms is making it more confusing and difficult to follow. I'm assuming any of Jake's bodily fluids would work?" I had to prompt him.

"Yes. The obvious is semen, but as you took my advice…"

"And are using protection." This was going to take a very long time if I had to keep finishing his sentences.

"Yes. It's more likely that it was saliva. That's the theory Edward was testing earlier." Carlisle said this quickly and turned away. Jake understood immediately and went beet red, I blushed myself but tried to hold it together.

"Jake? Relax, I know. Let's find out what this means." I kissed him and he nodded.

"Carlisle, finish your theory."

The fact that it was sealed enabled you to resorb the blood loss during menstruation. And now…why your period has started."

Jake was going to think my new problem was entirely his fault. I was right. He tried to pull away but I pulled him even closer.

"So, Carlisle, now that it's broken it means there's no barrier for sperm to travel up and fertilize an egg?"

"Yes."

"Good. That is what we'll need. Eventually."

"That also means to continue the appropriate protection when engaging in intercourse," he emphasized going into doctor-mode again

"Makes senses Jake?" I asked.

He still couldn't look at Carlisle or speak but did nod.

"What's next Carlisle?" I had to keep moving this along.

Next he pointed to the white area on the screen. This other area here is usually visible in human scans but I'm optimistic. This is more like what Bella's scan looked like surrounding you. " He pulled out a still shot of Bella's ultrasound – white, but I was in there somewhere.

"I believe your uterus is covered in a vampire skin that would enable you to carry either a vampire or human child or any combination. Ness, this is really what I was looking for. To see inside I'd have to use a camera make sure the lining of the uterus is normal."

"OK."

"I wasn't thinking right now."

"Carlisle, if you can… do it now"

"But I can't anesthetize you, it will not be comfortable."

And this is? I thought but figured voicing that opinion now would be the opposite of helpful. "That's fine" I told him. Jake, shook his head. I squeezed his hand.

"Jake. I need to know. We need to know."

Carlisle set up the newest device and took out a new speculum. I tried to relax. I'd asked for this and didn't want any reason for him to stop this important test. He inserted the speculum and the scope with the camera and turned on the monitor.

"There's the hymen, and ahead is your cervix. There are drugs that will help dilation but..

"They won't work on me. I get it."

"So I need to use a series of rods to do this so the opening can fit the scope" I nodded. I watched the camera and then a little rod pressing against my cervix. I could tell why Carlisle wasn't keen to do this. I squeezed Jake's hand, by the fourth rod I was in agony but tried not to show it. Carlisle inserted the scope and then some kind of air. The screen went bright red. Carlisle moved the scope up and to a left and right opening.

"The whole area is very vascular, I can't move the scope too far for fear of bleeding."

"Relax, Jake" I said this automatically. I could hear his heart start to race.

Carlisle confirmed "There's no bleeding Jake. Those are the fallopian tubes. The uterine lining is developing appropriately for this stage of your cycle, but it is much, much more vascular to accommodate the higher blood flow your body anticipates would be needed to carry a blood-drinker. With this information as well as the ultrasounds the tubes and ovaries all look normal. That's everything I can run for now Ness - from all the tests we've done, I'm almost certain you carry a fetus." He pulled out the instruments and let me clean up and get dressed.

The first thing I did was take Jake in my arms. "Babies" I whispered as I kissed him. Carlisle was still in the room but I didn't care. Jake lifted me up with joy. We were lost in the good news until Carlisle spoke.

"Ness. Be careful the next few days. Any bleeding you call me immediately. And no intercourse of any kind for at least a couple days. I'll head downstairs. I'm sure Esme's made you both dinner."

I hugged him. "Thank-you Carlisle, great news."

Jake was still embarrassed but did shake Carlisle's hand with a thank-you.

When Jake and I were finally alone I pressed against him kissing him and he responded in turn.

"We are so lucky" I said as I held him.

"We are. I love you. Though, I don't fancy facing Edward knowing he knows about everything."

"Yeah" I looked over at the broken door. "In context, I think Esme will be thrilled she doesn't have to replace the whole wall or the whole house. I think we should congratulate Edward on his restraint. But, Jake, this is good news - now we can try for babies when we're ready!" I kissed him again, trying to distract him from his discomfort.

"Babies" he agreed.

When we went downstairs, Emmett and Rosalie were back. Everyone had heard what went on upstairs. Jake was blushing crimson again by the time we got down. Edward glared and I don't think I'd ever seen mom so uncomfortable around Jake. Still, they both gave me a small kiss. I looked around, at least it didn't look like there was any more damage to the house. Jasper and Alice offered congratulations – Alice quick to say she still couldn't see our future obviously not wanting to get our hopes up. Emmett licked Rose's cheek and winked. Typically Emmett. I held Jake back, Emmett needed a pass, and after the good news today I wasn't in the mood to be angry. And for Emmett, I think Jake and I got off almost too easy with this one.

Rosalie was quiet even with Emmett's antics. I looked from Dad to Rosalie and back to Dad, he shook his head. I should know by now, any talk of babies and Rosalie falls apart.

Esme beckoned us to eat. I'd talk with Rose later.


	22. Chapter 21: Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day

I finally managed to find Rose alone after school on the following Wednesday. She apologized for not being more enthusiastic with the findings but I cut her off.

"I understand, Rose. I also know I can't fix it, I'm sorry. But I hope that if everything turns out for Jake and I you can be like a second mom to my child just like you were with me."

"You always know when I need a pick-me-up, Ness. I think I'm done with my pity party this time around. Are you and Jake doing anything for Valentine's?"

I groaned. Valentine's is this weekend. Under normal circumstances I would have been excited but it was the worst timing ever.

"If I'm not in too much pain -movies. And if I feel like I can sit up, maybe we'll write some admission essays between hunting trips. Right up there on the list of least romantic weekends ever."

"It's already been a month?"

Yeah. In short, if it doesn't come I'll be upset and if does I'll be in pain, neither conducive to romance. What about you and Emmett?"

"I don't know. He said he'd surprise me. I'm a little worried, actually!" Rosalie really was feeling better; she even let out a laugh.

"I think with Emmett's spontaneity it's not only Valentine's that this would be an issue."

"Ness!"

"Come on. Emmett has been on my case since Jake and I got together. I just hope when Jake and I are married for 75 years our relationship is just as healthy as yours."

"From everything I hear you will have no difficulties in that department."

"Rosalie!"

"My lips are sealed!" And she gave me the biggest hug.

As it happens my period was right on schedule; Jake already had my weekend bag packed and whisked me out of the house in record time.

"Jake, if it's the same as last time it won't get bad until tomorrow. I'll call you if anything changes." He finally agreed and dropped me off at school.

Jake picked me up the minute the bell rang – he couldn't keep doing this, it was silly and he was missing work. He and took me home and set me in the bed, propped up with pillows. He then brought a large present wrapped in red with white ribbon over and sat beside me.

"Happy Valentine's, Ness."

Damn! I didn't buy him anything. I thought we'd do this next weekend instead.

He knew.

"It's ok. I didn't spend anything. Really. Just open it." He sat there in anticipation.

That had me thinking. I pulled off the ribbon slowly and Jake curled beside me with his warm hands on my abdomen waiting in anticipation.

As soon as I got the lid off right in the middle of the box was a key, Jake's key. He kissed me.

"I figure, my place is your place. If that's OK with you?"

When I didn't speak, he worried. Then the tears started.

"I love you, Jake."

"It's symbolic. You can come and go at my place – our place – anytime you want, if you just need to get away from that crazy family of yours. For now, I know you're wanted at home…just know you're wanted here too."

I looked around in wonder as I let the key float between my fingers.

"I thought that if I put it in a little box you might hit me before you opened it thinking it was …"

A ring.

"That's exactly what would have happened, Jake. You know me too well." I kissed him anyway.

"A ring is symbolic too. " He said meaningfully as he took me deeper into his arms.

That gave me a lot to think about. I thought about it last month too.

And as if nothing happened Jake jumped off the bed grabbed my suitcase and started putting things in drawers. Empty drawers. He'd already arranged everything, a seamless transition from his place to our place.

Surprisingly, the weekend went off way better than I expected. Still cramps, lots of fatigue and torrents of blood but we got through. I did manage to finish my essays and applications for Harvard, Dartmouth, Yale, Princeton and Cornell. I did all my homework for the weekend and the following week. We watched two sappy romantic comedies; Jake made me breakfast, lunch and dinner whether I felt like eating or not and also insisted we go out to hunt small game twice a day which I think was key to my nutritional needs. And I slept. My physical desires on the other hand were intensifying; Jake did what he could but then acting the martyr again wouldn't let me reciprocate in any way.

When we got back for Sunday dinner, mom had made us a fabulous chicken cannelloni and I handed Dad all my finished applications, asking for any final suggestions. He gave me a big smile and hug and thanked Jake for all of his preparation for the weekend in keeping me fed and comfortable. I was happy to see Dad back on speaking terms with Jake. He didn't mention the key.

I got all my applications mailed by Tuesday changing a few minor details per dad's suggestions. Now it was a wait and see. I still had to keep my grades up as any admission offers would be conditional on final exam results.

By Thursday night in my bed I was willing to break our self-imposed rule of staying dressed. Jake kissed me softly and looked at the door with worry.

"No one will come in. Just undressed Jake, nothing else." I whispered as quietly as possible, not entirely sure it was quiet enough.

I started undressing him and since he didn't stop me I continued. He quivered with my touch as I removed his shirt, his pants and his boxers. I pulled him close, and kissed him encouraging him to undo the buttons on my shirt. Slowly he threaded each button back through and pulled off my shirt and unhooked my bra. Then he straddled me and reached for my pants; he unzipped and pulled them off along with my panties.

Jake leaned to my ear, brushing my whole body with his and whispered "Are you sure that's all Ness?"

I nodded but couldn't speak. He kissed me causing my pulse to race. I was a few seconds away from forgetting my resolve and reaching for the drawer. Jake turned me on my side and curled up behind me, kissing my neck with a soft caress.

"Good night, Ness." His warm body cradled mine and I felt secure in his arms, falling into a peaceful slumber.

We woke in the same position in the morning, Jake pulled me onto his lap and carried me to the shower. He ran the water warm and stood me up in the shower and closed the door behind him. I pressed my lips to his and we spent the shower washing and rinsing each other.

Still tingling with our unreleased energies, we dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast. Emmett was waiting for Rosalie so they could look at a new hoist for the garage.

"Sleep well you two?" he winked. Never a good sign for a quick escape.

"Of course, thanks Emmett."

"You two were a little loud last night. Throwing things, hearts racing and rapid breathing. It was really hard to concentrate…and then nothing. You need a little blue pill already, Jake?"

Jake looked at me, I shook my head. I could handle this.

"Let's just say, Emmett, we prefer a little more privacy. So we slept, showered and dressed" I left out numerous details.

"All night? Naked? Together?" Emmett couldn't comprehend our thought pattern "Rosalie and I tried that once – lasted three and a half minutes before we…"

"TMI Emmett!" I put my hands to my ears in case he continued. He just laughed. Then he turned to Jake,

"No leaving early tonight from work today, Jake, you've obviously proven you can delay gratification." He winked again, but also felt he might be pushing his luck, as soon as Rosalie got downstairs they took off.

We left shortly afterwards and Jake dropped me at school. I kissed him and we both let out a sigh.

I spoke first "Wow, Jake."

All Jake could say was "Amazing, Ness."

It turned out Jake was as close to reaching for the condoms as I was and we contemplated how the conversation with Emmett would have gone if that had been the case. We decided we didn't want to find out.

Jake didn't know if Emmett was serious or not but he decided to close up at exactly five in case Emmett swung by – something neither of us would put past him. I figured I'd try out my new key and make Jake dinner for two reasons – distraction, simultaneously watching Jake work and keeping my clothes on after last night would be impossible and I wanted to relax at our place and do something special for Jake. So after school, I went shopping then over to Jake's – oops 'our place' – to make beef bourguignonne. The advantage of this dish is that it will take at least 5 hours to cook. I had a few ideas about how to pass the time. I got everything in the slow cooker by four o'clock, it was a good thing Jake had some wine, I don't quite pass for twenty-one and likely won't – ever.

I had to get Jake a Valentine's gift and only had an hour before I had to be back (I decided that next year I'd plan ahead). We certainly didn't need any spicing up in the bedroom and I thought I'd get kicked out of an adult store (or worse they'd call my parents!) so I went to the mall and got the most perfect memento – a hanging key holder with a wolf and inscription that says 'home sweet home'. I also bought him a Hot Wheels Lamborghini – one day, if I had any say, he'd get one a little bigger. I picked up a gift bag and headed for home.

I got back to our place at twenty to five, giving me very little time to set the table, find candles and put on the silk nightwear Alice had given me. The top covered but the bottoms, not so much. I closed the blinds and locked the door with the chain. I would make sure it was Jake before I opened the door. Jake called at ten minutes after five saying he was on his way and that yes, Emmett did drop by and delayed him showing him pictures of the new hoist and discussing the delivery date. One day I would seek revenge!

Jake rang the bell five minutes later, I ran but he tried his key before I got the door and was stopped by the chain.

"Jake. Close your eyes and I'll open the door." He did as he was told and I pulled him in as I closed, locked and chained the door again.

"Can I open my eyes now?" Jake looked around blindly.

"One minute Jake. See if you like this." I put Jakes' hand on my shoulder and had him feel the silk material down my front to my legs. He couldn't keep his eyes closed and pulled me to him with a hunger that equalled my own. We could barely walk to the bedroom and didn't even manage to fully undress this time around. Whether it was the length of time since we'd been intimate or our daring nakedness the night before every touch and kiss was electric. Jake's pants and boxers discarded, my top lifted off in one fluid motion. He entered me moving aside the little material on my bottom half. I gave up on the t-shirt and ripped another one pulling his mouth to mine as we moved as one. Without a houseful of vampires we were free and there was no whispering or restraint in our love making. Jake came with a near howl, and with this caused me to follow in waves. Jake ripped my bottoms (fair's fair) and knew exactly what to do with his fingers and tongue. I panted and clung to him in ecstasy. I don't think we'd spoken a full sentence since I locked the door but by ten o'clock I remembered dinner.

"Jake?" he kissed me deeply and I gave up. Dinner could wait. By one, Jake was the one talking.

"Ness?" I snuggled into him further every need fulfilled.

"I love you, Jake" I answered when I could finally process words.

"And I love you, Ness. Sorry about dinner…" he looked at me and kissed me. "It still smells good"

I smiled "It will be better. Slow cooker." I stretched and carefully sat on the edge of the bed. I noticed Jake did the same on his side, but he managed to stand before I did and helped me up.

I found my robe on the back of the door and Jake pulled on some boxers as we walked to the kitchen. Jake finally saw the table and I lit the candles.

"Happy Belated Valentine's, Jake" I kissed him and he pulled me to him once again. "Do you want your presents, Jake?"

"That little red number wasn't my present?" he asked, I just shook my head "Just something I had."

"You shouldn't have…"

"Nothing big Jake. I promise. Just open it." I handed him the little red bag.

As soon as he did I knew it was the right present. He didn't even wait and pulled out his drill and attached it to the wall by the door. He hung his keys and mine on it. I liked watching my handyman at work. "It's perfect, Ness."

"Thanks, Jake. I think it's us." I kissed him lightly and before he could reciprocate I handed him the bag again. "One more. I didn't think you'd accept a bigger one-yet. Maybe next year I'll give _you_ a key."

He pulled out the Hot Wheel and swung me around. I knew it was his favorite car.

"This one is perfect."

We finally sat down for dinner and my efforts were not wasted. Jake loved the French dish and even had a fourth helping. After dinner, we sat and talked in the living room for hours, Emmett bashing, talking about work and school. Jake got out his tablet and we e-mailed the packs in La Push about our upcoming visit. By 4 am we were ready for bed and like last night we slept naked, unmoving until morning; our bodies entwined.

We woke at ten and had finished getting out of bed by noon and our shower by two. We were taking a new running route north of town and into the Mount Kearsarge State Forest Park. I called home on the way and at least mom answered – if it had been Emmett I would have been a little curt. I just asked mom about the hunting today (just a precaution when we go out in the woods) and told her where we were going. She said Jasper and Alice had gone west and everyone else was home. I thanked her and was about to hang up when she said

"Edward talked to Emmett. It won't happen again. Come home tomorrow. We love you." She was choking up.

"Mom. Jake and I are fine. Emmett was being Emmett. He doesn't mean anything by it and dad doesn't have to fight my battles. I'm sure he had enough of his troubles of his own and I will thank him for not breaking the door down when I see him." (I couldn't even remember what I was thinking when I was undressing Jake but it wouldn't have been pleasant for him).

"He wouldn't Ness. I think, he's …uh.. "

"What?"

"like Emmett …uh…"

"Mom!"

"a little amazed that you went to sleep. We tried that once – well, not sleeping, of course."

"OMG. TMI Mom!"

"Just saying."

"We will see you tomorrow. And I will be forever grateful that I do not have the ability to read minds – tell dad that please – I am imagining too much."

She hung up but not before saying "That was the point."

I told Jake and we were both astonished. "So Jake, I think the painfully obvious message is that either we don't mind the full-disclosure or my bed is for sleep only. What do you think?"

I think we answered 'sleep!' at the same time. Before we continued on our run I told Jake to phase but he preferred to tough it out. I understood when he named off his pack, a little privacy a little longer; at least on that side of the family.

When we got back we finished the leftovers and jumped in for another long shower. We decided sleep was overrated that night since we'd obviously be getting a lot of it over the course of the week. The night was ours to revel in each other's bodies and touch; oblivious to the outside world.

We headed to the house after a shorter run Sunday afternoon, the talk with Edward was similar to the one with mom and even more embarrassing since he knew our thoughts. I could guess that there were seven vampires whose hearing was now even more peaked as Jake and I trudged to bed shortly after dinner. We basically climbed into bed, kissed and fell asleep. Fortunately, Dad knew we planned to sleep, but he also knew exactly why we were so tired.


	23. Chapter 22: Home Visit

Home Visit

Spring break was early this year so Jake and I were leaving for the west coast the first week of March. We had talked about staying at Billy's – Jake was sure he wouldn't mind. I was hesitant, how would we both sleep on a twin bed together and just sleep. It would impossible not make a sound even dreaming. And Charlie's was out of the question - he didn't even know about us yet, so the two of us in the same room would be awkward at best. I talked to Jake about bringing camping gear but Jake really didn't like the idea; "too cold in March" he said, but something told me that wasn't the only reason. I looked up B + B's in Port Angeles – we could commute to Forks and the res, it wouldn't be too long a run. I did wonder if Charlie would be suspicious that we didn't have a car but I also figured staying in Forks itself would lead to too many questions in such a small town. Even the day before we were leaving we still hadn't come up with a solution. I didn't want Jake and I to sleep apart and was getting increasingly anxious about the idea but we were running out of time and options. Mom made us spaghetti on Thursday night and dad was driving us to the airport in the morning. We were coming back the following Thursday so we'd be close to Carlisle for 'that time of the month'.

We said goodbye to the family and loaded up the car. Everyone gave me a hug and Jake got hugs from Bella, Alice, Esme, and Carlisle as well as handshakes from everyone else. Once we got to the airport Dad unloaded the bags and hugged us good bye, told us to have fun, to be safe and to say hi to everyone- everything I was expecting; then came the big surprise.

"Ness. Keep everything clean. The car is in the garage – it might take some tweaking to get it to run, I know Jake can handle it. Here are the keys for the car, main house and cottage. We'll pick you up in a week. Love you." He dropped a keyring with three keys into my hand, gave me a kiss, Jake a wave and took off peeling out of the airport in mom's Ferrari.

"Jake?" I turned to him. He was as surprised as I was.

"We can stay at the house?" he asked, incredulous.

"Yeah." I waved the keys for him to see.

"Fabulous. We'll be close…and alone." He kissed me like he was imagining it already.

As my heartbeat and breathing quickened I understood why Dad had only given us this news only seconds before departing at record speed.

Charlie and Billy were waiting for us in Port Angeles with open arms. Charlie did a second take and mentioned I looked grown up but nothing further. He knew better by now. I nodded and gave him a hug. It sucked that we couldn't visit more often.

Billy just said "Welcome." According to Jake Billy was a man of few words; so far he only had the one.

"Thanks, Billy." I gave him a quick hug.

Jake grabbed all the bags and walked to the SUV. Billy pressed the key and the back opened and a ramp came down. Jake ogled his Dad's new toy.

"Where did you get…" Jake trailed off and the looked at me suspiciously. "Ness?"

"It wasn't all me. It was everyone - Christmas. And I knew you wanted to get him one day but you haven't had time and you're too busy to work on it anyway. I just had it delivered." I kissed Jake so he wouldn't get mad.

Billy was humbled by our gift; he said it's made his less reliant on the packs and Charlie for his needs. Jake couldn't complain about the extravagance after that.

Billy got in as Jake spun me around and I knew he was going to kiss me so I ducked and grabbed the bags to put in the back and pulled down the middle seats for Jake and me.

"Charlie." I whispered to Jake.

We headed to The Lodge for dinner, and made small talk through our meal. I tried to pay but Charlie wouldn't have it. I threatened to have a Jaguar delivered but it didn't work – Charlie couldn't use one to its fullest potential anyway. Unlike most of my family, the chief-of-police doesn't speed.

Billy drove Charlie home and then doubled back to the house where I was born. It was a little eerie coming back. I don't think Jake noticed my apprehension. The maintenance crew tidied the house periodically so it wasn't too dusty. We were full from dinner so we didn't need to shop until tomorrow, or we could hunt. Billy really did offer for us both to stay in Jake's old room but we politely declined. We thanked him for the ride and grabbed our stuff promising to be over around eight in the morning. Billy promised pancakes. We said our goodnights and Billy made his way back down the slightly overgrown drive.

I opened the house and walked in. Jake tried to get me to go to the cottage but I opted for Edwards' old room instead; Jake followed and dropped the bags near the bed. We had barely touched since getting off the plane and our lips met with a spark. The smoldering passion that we had running though us all day long didn't take long to ignite now that we were alone.

When I finally woke and stretched I looked around the room - the clothes we had been wearing the night before had been shredded and looked like confetti. I woke Jake with my laughter and as soon as he looked around he joined in.

"Good thing we weren't at dad's," Jake said as he nibbled at my ear. I sighed and nodded; Billy wouldn't have needed vampire hearing to hear our every moan, groan and cry of ecstasy that reverberated off the walls.

"We could invite Charlie over. We wouldn't have to tell him anything. He could extrapolate." I started looking around at the pieces of lace and buttons and shredded jeans, along with at least five condoms.

"That's probably not a great idea. I'm not bullet-proof," Jake amended.

"Are we ready for pancakes or…" I didn't finish my thought, Jake grabbed me and licked right to my center and in, I cried out again and again. I wanted to return the sentiment but Jake donned protection and entered me slowly, building, building - again. I could feel him pulsating inside me. Then he kissed me good morning, getting up as if the last 20 minutes had been a perfect dream.

"Pancakes," he said as he pulled me into the shower, the smile on his face I knew echoed on mine.

"Pancakes." I repeated, kissing him under the hot water hoping I would remember we were due at Billy's sometime in the next hour and would behave accordingly. Jake made me forget. When we finally found new clothes to dress in I knew we'd have to be more careful, we only packed carry-ons, and mine was half-full of school work. We had a week to go before returning home, and though I'm not Alice, shopping for clothes in Forks is limited, even for my low standards. I could remind myself of this now, but wasn't sure I'd remember walking in late at night with Jake all to myself in this big house.

Jake felt guilty leaving me to clean up the strewn room, but I knew he'd have more luck getting the Volvo to run than I would so I gingerly tapped his backside down towards the stairs. He turned to me again, which at home would have resulted in more torn garments, but I kissed him and put him back on task.

I finished making the bed and bagging up the remnants of material and all the used condoms. I was just finishing with the bathroom when I heard an engine whine and then roar to life. Jake, he never fails to deliver on all accounts.


	24. Chapter 23: Telling Charlie

Telling Charlie

We got to Billy's closer to nine than eight and I saw Charlie's cruiser. Billy came out to greet us.

"Look who finally decided to join us. Lucky Charlie's gone to look at some fishing gear the neighbor's thinking of selling. You both better whip that post-coital glow off your faces before he gets back." Billy did a one-eighty on the spot and wheeled right back into the house. Obviously he had more words than Jake gave him credit for.

I looked at Jake, embarrassed, and he kissed both my cheeks and whispered "I love the glow." And then gave me a decadent kiss parting my lips.

Inconveniently, Charlie came back right then with the biggest tackle box I'd ever laid eyes on. He was so excited about some lure he didn't hear Billy's comment or see the exchange between Jake and me or we'd all be fish bait.

We ate in silence, Billy and Charlie had made sausages and eggs and my favorite pancakes (now I knew where Jake got the recipe).

After breakfast, I told Charlie about school and a few of my new friends. I also told him about applying for universities next year - Charlie looked impressed but hesitant.

"Are you sure you're ready for such a big step, Ness?"

"I know what I want, Charlie. I know you don't ask a lot of questions, which is good because I can't give you the answers. Just know Charlie, I'm different. I'm going to study genetics, to learn a little more about myself and fertility so I know if there's any chance you could have a great grandson or daughter one day." This was the simplest explanation. Telling him I was studying a new species entirely was out of the question.

Charlie was at a loss for words. Billy was looking at Jake for answers but Jake just shook his head.

"Can't you talk to Edward and Bella? Carlisle?"

"It's complicated, Charlie."

"You don't need to be so eager to grow up, Ness. Wait until you fall in love, see how you feel then."

Uh-oh. This was my big moment.

"You're right, Charlie. I should fall in love with someone that I can trust with my whole heart and soul. Someone I know will do everything, anything for me. Someone who I know loves me and who is loved with an equal, unrelenting happiness in return."

He nodded, but I wasn't done.

"Someone who will stand by me with strength and integrity, and who will defend me and protect me even in the face of his own peril. Someone with whom I have no secrets, no fears, with whom the tiniest touch makes my heart quicken. Is that what you mean by love, Charlie?"

He couldn't reply.

"That's what it's like for me. I am in love. I am in love with Jacob." Even though Charlie was on the other side of the table he didn't miss it when I reached for Jake's hand. There was a palpable energy in the room. Jake felt compelled to pull me towards him in a tender kiss.

Billy was almost tearing up even though he obviously already knew we were together.

Charlie was still speechless.

"Charlie?" I asked. "Say something."

Billy was the first to speak.

"Congratulations, you two. Now, who's doing dishes?"

Jake and I made quick work of it and thanked Billy and Charlie for breakfast. It looked like Charlie needed more time to work through my declaration of love for Jake. Just then a wolf howled. Jake automatically said, "Sam". I walked him outside and gave him another kiss before he took off for the woods. He phased but not before he let me catch a quick glimpse of him in the buff. Jake.

I sat beside Charlie on the couch. He put an arm around my shoulder. "So, that's it then. So much like your mom." It looked like Charlie had at least processed the information if not yet come to terms with it. "So..," he gestured to where he last saw Jake, "you're ok with the ...the wolf thing?"

"That's one of the more normal things in my life." I answered truthfully. Charlie shuddered but directed questions to less controversial matters. He asked a little about Bella and Edward and Alice. I was surprised he didn't know about Bella's major and he shook his head trying to link his Bella to someone who studied plants. We talked about the new house - he was no longer surprised about Cullen wealth but still shied away from it. I told him a little more about school as well as Jake's job at the garage. I was so proud of him and it showed. I even told him Jake started the Volvo at the house in less than 15 minutes. Big mistake.

"At your old house?"

"Yes, Charlie, at the old house."

"You were at the house? With Jake?"

"Of course. Where do you think we slept, Charlie?"

He processed this with Billy listening from the kitchen table.

"Your parents are going to…"

I stopped him. I could have denied it. Told him something completely unbelievable that Charlie would buy, something like we slept in different rooms, but Charlie was already subject to too many lies and half-truths. "They already know, Charlie. There are no secrets in the family. Call Edward-he gave us the keys." I think this was too much after the course of the morning. And it didn't help that Jake walked in seconds later wearing only shorts and picked me up to kiss me as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Emily would like us over for lunch, you game, Ness?"

Billy answered for me. "Ness would love it. Charlie and I will go fishing and discuss my son's loss of virginity."

Jake put me back on my feet, but just barely. He looked from Charlie to Billy to me redness rising on his face as he acknowledged the turn in conversation during his absence. He opted not to say anything which I thought was a good initial move.

I wanted to say something to Charlie and Billy as we left hand-in-hand. But I realized Jake and I were the only ones who mattered in this decision. I put my head on his shoulder and told Jake just that - he agreed completely. He did remind me of one thing on the way to Sam's – his pack: Seth, Leah, Embry and Quil knew everything about us. It was my turn to blush.

We were welcomed by Sam and Emily and their little daughter. Kim and Jared arrived with their son and Kim looked wonderful. I hugged her with a big "Congratulations!". Claire ran out in front of Quil and jumped into my arms.

"Nessie! You're here! I've missed you!" She grabbed Jake's hand. "And you too, Jakey."

"I've missed you too Claire. You're getting to be one of the big kids now." I told her.

"Not big enough. I'm not allowed to take the little kids to the beach yet. I want to grow big as fast as you."

We had the same conversation every time we saw each other after a long absence. Quil expertly took over "Claire, if you were bigger how could I do this?" He picked her up and had her stand on his shoulders and ran down the grass before having her flip and then caught her before putting her back on her feet. I had a sudden series of flashbacks, of Jake doing something similar or the just opposite: one day I could barely reach a doorknob the next I had grown enough and learned to open every door and latch in the house with Jake looking on and clapping but with an underlying concern.

I leaned into Jake, "That was you, you know." I nodded at Quil in the distance trying to catch Claire, who was giggling and running towards us. "You were terrified I was growing up too fast, learning too quickly but tried not to let it show. I didn't understand until just now, watching Claire. How Quil can keep her in the moment, have her forget her worries. I've always loved you Jake, all kinds of love. And this" I kissed him "is the best kind of all."

"EWW!" Claire squealed as she saw us kiss. "Jake and Nessie sitting in a tree….," she sang at the top of her lungs and ran away again. Quil caught up to her and brought her back to us.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G," she ran around us, "first comes love, then comes marriage…"

"That's enough, Claire, come in for lunch." Emily called. Claire ran in with Quil at her heels forgetting about the rest of her song. I didn't.

After lunch Jake put me over his shoulder and climbed the oak closest to the house all the way to the to the middle branches, the leaves were just coming in and with the gentle breeze off the ocean, everything glimmered. He pulled me into his lap and kissed me. Good thing Claire was still inside the house, probably watching Quil and Jared compete over the number of sandwiches they could eat. I kissed him back and decided then and there, though it had really been in my thoughts for months. "You know what Jake, I think Claire is right. We're sitting in a tree. We're kissing" I kissed him again to prove my point. "I love you."

"And I love you, Ness."

I hummed the melody to give him a hint. His eyes went wide.

"She's a smart girl," I nodded towards the house.

"Marriage?" Jake asked, "Really?" Jake had the biggest smile I'd ever seen.

"Yes. But you have to propose."

"Didn't that count? You said yes."

"Not a chance, Jake! And…I think it should be this week. In front of Charlie and Billy."

"This is awfully specific. What happened to spontaneity?"

"We never know, Jake, when we might not be able to come back here. I know Charlie's not happy with us right now. But I hope he listened to how much I love you and will one day be happy we have each other. We already know we're meant for each other. Let's let everyone know." I kissed him once more and jumped the 40 feet to the ground.

Claire ran out and hugged me, then looked up and saw Jake.

"Were you really in a tree, kissing?" Claire asked. I nodded and she laughed.

"You're pretty smart, Claire. Smarter than me," I told her, Claire smiled.

"Can you tell me the rest of the song?"

"First comes love."

"And you know something, I've loved Jake for a very long time. I just didn't know it until a few months ago. So what's next?"

"Then comes marriage..."

"Thanks Claire-Bear. I had told Jake that we shouldn't get married for a very long time but I think you're right. Love. Marriage. It makes sense, right?"

Claire nodded.

"So do you think you could be a flower girl our wedding?" I asked her.

"Of course, Ness. I would love it!" she sounded older than her years. She then hugged me and smiled her biggest smile yet "then I get to finish the song!" and ran towards Quil to tell him.

Jake jumped down landing beside me knowing where my thoughts were. _Baby. Baby carriage_.

"I never want to finish our love song, if ours has a different lyrics, it will be just as beautiful," he held me as I swayed to our own melody in his arms.

Everyone had heard from Claire and came out to congratulate us. Jake had to tell them my stipulation and everyone thought it was silly but happy that Jake was going to let me have my way.

We talked about weddings, both Emily and Kim had some great ideas but I wasn't committed to anything specific. Besides, Alice would love to plan something fancy.

As the afternoon wound down, everyone started heading home.

I sat on the steps of the Uley house, knowing we had to head back.

"Oh, Jake. I know it's not Charlie's fault he doesn't understand…"

"Show him." he put my hand to his cheek.

"I can't, Jake. Secrets."

"It has nothing to do with vampires. It has everything to do with you and who you are. He'll know. As long as you don't show him everything…" He put his hand up my shirt as what was likely a demonstration of what not to show Charlie.

"Jake!" But my hand was already caressing his cheek, and I played our life story for him again. He kissed me and pulled me onto his lap once again.

"I love how much you love me" he said.

"I also love you this much" I showed him a different reel but didn't even get through it, when I felt his hand under my shirt again and his lips crush mine. I rolled on top of him. Sam came out just then and I was glad it hadn't been a minute later.

"My porch, you guys! Just because I'm not in your head anymore Jake doesn't mean I need a real-life re-enactment. I do see Seth, Leah and Embry cringing every so often, that's more than enough."

"Sorry, Sam. I was just showing Jake something," I said.

He looked confused. "You never told him, Jake?" I asked.

Jake shook his head. I decided better to practice on Sam than Charlie. So I told him about my gift. Of course, it doesn't make sense to outsiders. "Come here, Sam." I stood up and showed him what I'd planned to show Charlie.

"Wow. Ness. Yours is an incredible love story." Sam replied.

"Do you think that's too much for Charlie?"

"No, it was awe inspiring. Perfect. He knows about Jake. I think he'll deem you less of a freak."

"Great. What a high complement."

You know I don't mean it, Ness. You and Jake are perfect together."

"Thanks, Sam. So are you and Em."

But…I don't mean to pry…that wasn't what I walked in on earlier."

"Sam, not all my memories are PG," I replied. He nodded in understanding and walked back inside, probably to try to clear his mind of a new visual.

Let's go Jake. If we're going to do this; let's do it now. Before I chicken out."

"I'm here, Ness" Jake said, and that was all it took. I kissed him again and we started walking back to Billy's.

Charlie was lighting the grill and had already filleted a mountain of fish when we walked up. He looked a little surprised to see us.

"Ness…Jake… uh….we didn't know you'd be back….are you hungry?"

"Charlie, you should know better than to ask Jake that. He scarfed about 4 sandwiches and half a pie at Em's but he will act like he hasn't eaten in a week," I said. Jake nodded beside me in agreement.

"Good thing fish were biting today," was the last sentence I could get out of Charlie before he started grumbling under his breath.

When I went in the house, the rice was still cooking on the stove and the veggies were cut and ready for steaming, I cut more vegetables for Jake and I and added them to the steamer. It looked like Billy had a lot more skill in the kitchen than Charlie. It was overcast, of course, but pretty warm for March in Forks, so we set the table outside to enjoy the ocean air. Billy brought out a salad, and I collected dishes for the table.

We sat, ate and made small talk but I could feel the tension building as I replayed the conversation from the morning in my head. The fresh fish was flakey and delicious even though I had a knot in my stomach that was hampering digestion. Jake didn't disappoint and ate 3 helpings of everything and then finished the remaining fish. I cleared up the table and again did dishes with Jake's assistance. By the time we were done the fire pit was roaring and Charlie was cutting more fire wood but having difficulty.

When Jake offered to help, Charlie growled, "Jacob, it's this wood or your head. Back off!" Charlie - he keeps this bottled up-then this. I pulled the axe out of Charlie's hand easily and proceeded to cut the remaining logs in two minutes. I certainly wasn't using my full strength but I could see Charlie was trying to process how I could slice through logs like butter. I handed Jake the axe and asked him to lock it up – best not to take chances with Charlie in this mood.

"Grandpa. Let's walk." I pulled him up and he didn't come willingly at first though knew he had no choice but to follow.

"We'll be a few minutes," I told Billy and Jake. Charlie and I walked to the beach not because I knew where I was going but because it gave me enough time to calm down and remember my plan. I couldn't mess this up, I had too many secrets that weren't mine to share and then, of course, things that I preferred to keep between Jake and I.

We sat on a worn log looking out to the ocean, the sky was starting to turn but it was too overcast for a real sunset.

"Grandpa, I know you don't approve of all my choices, just know that Jake is in my life forever. I've known this my whole life, and Jake - he has always been there to support me. I want to tell you how much he means to me. But there's something else I want you to know about me, but you can't share this with anyone. I know you hate the secrets Charlie, it's not the whole truth, just some of the truth about me. Can I tell you? Can I show you?"

Charlie was hesitant yet curious. "What is it, Ness. Will it hurt you? I understand you're different, Ness. I can't even fathom how growing up for you has been, nearly hidden from the world. I want you to take this time to experience life without restrictions, or responsibilities..." he let the thought trail off.

I thought of something quickly and it was just the answer. "I haven't been hidden, Charlie. I've had my family, extended family like you and Billy, and everyone in La Push. Jake. And this year I've been able to experience a whole new world at school. I have had challenges, we always will, given our situation, but I wouldn't change it for all the normal in the world. So, Charlie..?"

He nodded. I touched his cheek and the images from my childhood – my family, friends, Jake but especially Charlie and the wonder in his eyes every time he saw me. Reflected in my memories there was a happy, growing child with family and friends always by her side. There were, of course, thousands of memories off limits to Charlie that were blocked from view- catching snowflakes, hunting, running and all the sunny days with the family. But when I was done Charlie just stared at me in amazement.

"Ness, how…?" Charlie being at a loss for words was not new.

I answered honestly, "I don't know. Genetics, maybe? It's just something I've always been able to do. So this means I know where my life has been, Charlie, and where it's headed. I'll be with Jake – always."

I touched his cheek again and showed him what I had originally planned. Jake and I, together from the day I was born to today at Sam and Emily's and how my feelings for Jake changed and grew to what they are today. I stopped the vision and turned to Charlie.

"I love him, Charlie. Jake can explain his side of our story, if you let him, but just know he loves me too."

"Ness, you are one special child…girl…woman…grand-daughter. I'm not good at this kind of talk, I'm glad you're able to trust me and share this. I'm sorry I'm not dealing with this better. I can promise I'll try."

"So I can give you back the axe?"

Yeah…after you come over and have a go at my wood pile."

"Tomorrow," I promised. We got up and headed back to the camp fire but I wasn't completely done.

"Oh, and one more thing Charlie. To clear this up…and is this last word about it… about those responsibilities you were talking about, Jake and I are not planning on any for a while, if we can at all. Rest assured." I wasn't going come right out and tell him we were practicing safe sex, but I think it did the trick.

He nodded once.

When we got back to the house, Billy and Jake were roasting marshmallows; I could see half the bag was already empty. I sat down beside Jake and nestled into his chest. Charlie didn't even flinch. Jake finished roasting the marshmallow to golden perfection and pulled it off the stick and put it in my mouth in one bite. Delicious. Since I'd barely eaten dinner, I was starving.

Charlie and Billy got into a discussion about the upcoming baseball season, while Jake just fed me marshmallow after marshmallow. I made Jake eat the sticky ones; I decided my new understanding with Charlie would be hampered if he was to watch me suck on Jake's fingers.

When the fire was just glowing red embers Billy was the first to yawn.

"Good night, everyone. Don't get up on my account. Are we watching the game tomorrow, Charlie?"

"I .." He looked at me questioning our plans.

"Sure, Billy. Come over to Charlie's for breakfast. Jake and I will be there, say nine?" I said.

"Better head home then. I guess I should think about dinner tomorrow." Charlie stood up to find his keys.

"That's us Charlie. Jake and I will cook. You relax. You took a rare holiday remember?" Mom had goaded him, when she told him Jake and I were coming, to take the week off work. I wouldn't doubt he'd still check in at the station but we had come over to spend some time together. I gave him another hug before he headed home.


	25. Chapter 24: At Charlie's

At Charlie's After Billy and Charlie headed their respective ways Jake and I just sat by the fire until the last ember extinguished. It was getting colder but I just snuggled into Jake's warmth and stared into the night sky. It was quiet, peaceful. Seconds later, it seemed, Jake was placing me in bed and helping me undress. He climbed in with me and I fought to stay awake as he caressed me but I succumbed to sleep. When I woke a few hours later my stomach grumbled in hunger. Jake was still fast asleep so I dressed and went out to hunt. I found a heard of elk only 15 miles from the house and was back in half-an-hour feeling satiated. Jake had kicked his covers off and looked completely at peace wearing nothing. I felt a longing for him again something that never failed to surprise me, would I ever understand? I held back and went to shower to wash the campfire scent out of my hair. I turned on the water and let it run before stepping in and finding the shampoo. I lathered and rinsed, and repeated. I had just finished with the body wash when I felt a hand on my waist and a whisper in my ear. "Why didn't you wake me?" Jake didn't wait for answer; he just let his hands trail up where the water was running off my nipples and started rolling them between his thumb and forefinger. A whimper of pleasure escaped my lips and that was all the encouragement he needed to continue. He lips and tongue made their way to my earlobe and down my neck, as he pressed against my back and I could feel his response. I tried to turn to see what I was missing but he held me against him. One hand left my nipple and I felt a sense of loss until he trace down my abdomen and between my legs. He caressed every fold and lingered with his touches until I was warm. He parted me and entered with his fingers; I nearly fell to my knees with ecstasy as I tightened around him and felt release. He pulled me around so my lips could taste his all the while not losing his rhythm until I could only beg for more "Jake, please, Jake". He sheathed himself and lifted me onto him from behind as I cried out. He lowered me slowly as I accommodated his girth. He tilted my pelvis back and forth as he gently rolled my clitoris between his fingers. There was a burning, a new longing and finally I cried out and shook with pleasure against him. Every water droplet on my skin magnified the sensation and I quivered. Minutes after I finished I was still trembling and needed Jake to lift me off of him, to wash me and carry me to bed wrapped in a towel. I pulled him towards me unable to let go. There was sun in Forks when I finally woke again which had me convinced I had dreamt this ultimate fantasy, but I moved, which stirred memories, as I sighed. Jake startled. I leaned into him and kissed him again and again. Jake pulled me to sitting and started rifling through my suitcase. He put everything on the bed and offered to help me get dressed. I shook my head. "Come on, Ness" Jake said as he put on my socks. "Dad will be at Charlie's in.." he looked at the clock "40 minutes". He guided my feet into my lace undies and then my pants. Jake handed me the bra – he knew his limitations. Certainly deft by now at taking it off, putting it on was another matter entirely. I wasn't sure if I could even remember how it worked. Jake got himself dressed in the blink of an eye and then came back. He did what he could with the bra, and managed to fasten it at the back; I came to enough to adjust myself more comfortably and picked up the shirt. I could finally speak, "Jake. Just call. Stay here. With Me." He shook his head as he helped me pull my shirt on. "Come on." he lifted me to my feet but had to hold me. I had no sense of balance. He pulled up the undies and pants the rest of the way and the reached for the zipper. The minute touch, even through two layers of clothing, was enough to make my breath quicken. But he did it up and the button on my jeans as well. He held me as I gathered my senses and balance. He carried me down the stairs and outside to the porch, grabbing shoes for both of us on the way. It was time for sentences. "Jake, that was incredible. Amazing. But, what about…you. I didn't .. You didn't….alone?" I didn't say anything about full sentences. "Shh, Nessie. And, no I didn't do anything alone. That, watching you, and this" he held me, "made for a very interesting morning. I even learned a new skill." He reached for my bra to demonstrate. "By the time we get to Charlie's you're going to need to develop a vocabulary and tone down that glow." "The glow isn't going anywhere, Jake. After what you did today it is permanent, everlasting and eternal. How's that for vocabulary?" Jake kissed me. "How about we run over to Charlie's?" Jake asked. "A little morning run would explain the pink cheeks." "It would, but not the pink…" Jake silenced my newfound vocabulary with a kiss. "OK. I'll run ahead." I said, but not wanting to let go. "Then I can start Charlie's fire wood, give me more of an 'alibi'" I kissed his cheek. He pulled me into a real kiss, as our lips parted and our tongues met, Jake sighed. "I'll be right behind you" Jake said, as I laced up my runners. I left him, knowing he was watching me depart. I could only think of counting the seconds until I would see him again. It only took minutes to get to Charlie's at my top speed. I don't even think my heart rate went up at all, whereas the lightest touch from Jake causes it to bound with excitement. I found the wood pile and the axe. I didn't dare open the door just in case Billy was there already. He'd know in an instant the run was a cover-up. I started with the biggest pieces and got into a rhythm. Ten minutes later, out of the corner of my eye I spot a russet wolf peering out from between the trees. Just seeing him, my heart raced, proving my earlier point. I continued my task until Jake came a little closer and leaned his head lightly on my shoulder. I rubbed his fur and stroked his neck. "I'm glad you're here Jake. I missed you" he nodded like he shared my sentiment. He barked then ran around the house. I was looking for neighbors, but it seemed like they were all sleeping late. Jake headed back to the woods. Not completely out of my line of sight and phased back. I stared, unmoving as he grabbed his clothes – he must have carried them in his mouth. Nearly every part of me wanted to help him put them on like he helped me this morning but I looked at the house then moved to peak at the other side. The cruiser was gone. I wondered where Charlie was. Jake finished dressing and came up to me. "Should I have a go?" He reached for the axe but I shook my head. "That" I pointed to the woods, "didn't help Jake. I didn't say I didn't like it. But Charlie!" "He's not here." "I figured that out, after the fact, thanks." Jake took to lounging face up on the damp grass, hands behind his head, watching me intently. I resumed my project. When I was done Jake was still staring. I threw the axe down and sat beside him. He pulled me on top of him in a passionate embrace. I put my hands down the back of his jeans . It's a good think Jake has acute hearing. A few minutes later, Jake pulled me up dusted me off, handed me back the axe returning to pose this time propped on his elbows. The cruiser pulled up and Jake yelled "Hey, Charlie, we're back here!" Charlie finished parking the car and opened the door balancing coffees and a large brown paper bag. He walked up to us and he looked pleasantly surprised he had useable firewood. "Nothing should surprise me anymore, thanks, Ness." Charlie gave me a half-hug then went to put the coffees and bag on the patio table. "I bought cinnamon buns and coffee. I don't do breakfast like Billy." "Speak of the devil" Jake gestured. Billy pulled up behind the cruiser and wheeled up to the edge of the grass. " 'Morning!" Billy called. Jake ran down to Billy and helped him across the uneven lawn. "Did you save any for me?" "Just got here myself Billy. But Ness and Jake have spent most of the morning chopping firewood." Billy looked from Jake to me to the wood and just smiled. Jake quickly handed him a coffee and a cinnamon bun hoping this would distract Billy long enough. It worked. The cinnamon bun was delicious but I could only eat a few bites. Jake ate mine with a questioning eye. "I went for a little run out back before you got up." I told him. Charlie overheard. "Ness, I don't like you going into the woods alone. In the last few years we've had a population surge of bears and mountain lions around the area. It's dangerous." I eyed Jake. There was no doubt why this was the case. "Bears won't hurt you, Ness, if you're out with a wolf. Wake me, OK?" Jake covered. Charlie didn't look like he liked this idea any better. I just nodded to keep the peace. We talked about plans, Sue, Leah and Seth were coming back this afternoon after a short trip, and both Charlie and Jake were thrilled, about Sue and Seth's returns, anyway. Leah, is still Leah. I try to get through to her but she has this prejudice she can't shake. If she'd just open up to me I think she'd realize we have much in common, but I also wonder if this is what she fears. Jake got the ok from Charlie and texted Seth about coming over for a BBQ with the family. Seth texted back that Leah had plans (yeah, right) but that both he and Sue would be thrilled to see us and said they could make it around by four. "So Jake, we've got to go buy out the store just to feed you and Seth." I quipped. We talked about dinner, I opted for steak and all the trimmings and wouldn't take money from Charlie or Billy or Jake. When will they learn? Billy and Charlie went in to catch the game, and Jake and I took off for home. We needed to get the car to get the groceries. At least that was the only plan. The closer we got to home, the faster my heart seemed to race. Jake heard and took my hand, we ran past the Volvo, into the house and up the stairs. He pulled me towards him with a caution I hadn't seen before. "Ness, we need to be back soon, I …" I stopped him there by ripping off his shirt (Damn! Another one!) and pulled him into bed. I stripped off the rest of his clothes and continued to kiss and caress all the most important places. When I took him in my mouth he groaned with desire in response to every flick of my tongue. I sucked and stroked him until his warm fluid filled me. He pulled me up to his chest, took off my t-shirt and unhooked my bra teasing my nipples with his tongue. I arched into him as I felt my jeans shred away, seconds later he entered pressing deep within. I clung to him as he filled me, our bodies undulating as one. Our perfect rhythm was timeless, on the brink of release each and every moment but not wanting change pace and break the connection. Much later, as we continued to writhe, a new twinge from Jake sent fire into my loins and I felt my whole body contract in ecstasy. As I cried out, Jake released which magnified my pleasure. We collapsed into each others' arms. When I finally stirred, I shook Jake awake, "Jake its two o'clock!" He jumped, groaned but got up, "We are so screwed." I pulled him to the shower and we rinsed, we were both still in our happy place, and if there had been time, Jake and showers do have a certain effect on me. We dressed in record speed and were about to run down the stairs when I kissed Jake and looked at the bed. "One of these days, we should do that again." He nodded in agreement. We got to the grocery store and grabbed 2 carts, Jake headed to the meat department me to the veggies. We were out of there in less than 15 minutes with salad fixings, corn, potatoes, foil, steaks, BBQ sauce and probably at least 20 other items we didn't really need. We even remembered picnic supplies (I didn't think Charlie had more than 2 plates) and the beverages. We decided on cobbler for dessert so grabbed the fixings, I also got marshmallows. I was hoping we would at least look prepared. Jake was going start the BBQ and prepare the steaks, then do the potatoes. My plan was cobbler than salad. Divide and conquer seemed like a good strategy, opposite to our recent join and succumb scenario of moments ago - I got goosebumps just thinking about it. I reached for Jake's hand and he stroked mine. We pulled in off the road at Charlie's and Jake ran around to help me out. It was gentlemanly but time consuming, though completely worth it when he pulled me to him and said "I love you" and I echoed his sentiment. We carried everything in and announced our "Hellos," good thing they were both concentrating on the game. We were wearing different clothes, and I had a post-coital burn, not a glow. The kitchen table doubled as our workspace for the next hour as we washed and chopped, prepared and unwrapped different items. It surprised me the weather was holding and we could again sit outside without getting drenched. The table looked magnificent even in its plastic-checkered glory. We had forgotten candles and flowers, but I ran into the woods and gathered a few wildflowers and a make shift vase from an old milk jug. The cobbler was baking, salad made, coals were glowing under the potatoes in foil and we thought we had scraped by with five minutes to spare when Seth pulled up. He barely parked the car and ran up to give Jake a high five. "Missed you, man. You wouldn't believe Leah…" he launched into a tirade about his sister as I saw Sue greet Charlie with a hug and kiss. I wanted to call him a hypocrite…I knew the look of longing in Sue's eyes. Seth finished his rant and looked at me but instead of a hug, he stepped back and turned around. I swear he was blushing. I looked at Jake. "Wolf telepathy" was Jake's explanation. Now was mine turn to go 50 shades of red. I replayed our lovemaking in my head and could only imagine Seth's discomfort. I was going to apologize but remembered that wasn't right. Instead I took a stand. "Well, Seth, maybe you'll pick up a few pointers," and smiled. Seth, likely overcome with shock, flew back and phased, running into the woods. I grabbed Jake's shorts from my bag and gave them to Jake. "Go hand these to him. Don't you dare phase. I want this afternoon to ourselves for a few hours" he nodded and kissed me in complete understanding. Seth came out minutes later in Jake's shorts. "Sorry Ness I…" he said but I wouldn't hear it. "No apologies, Seth, it just is. Hungry?" Stupid question but it did act as a distraction. We tore Billy away from the game and Charlie away from Sue and loaded the steaks on the grill. Seth picked up the remnants of his clothing as Sue shook her head and Charlie held her. It looked like they were in love. Seth, Jake and I preferred our steaks rare; Charlie, Sue and Billy: medium. Everything was delicious and Jake and I received great complements for all our whole afternoon of preparation which we accepted with a certain degree of hesitation. Seth started the camp fire while Jake and I cleaned up the few left-overs. Charlie offered to help but I felt guilty extricating him from Sue's arms so I declined. "Jake and I can handle it, Charlie. Relax. Sue hasn't seen you in three whole days, remember?" It didn't take much – Charlie stayed put with his hand around her waist and her head on his shoulder. When we were done, Seth and Jake had a marshmallow eating contest and wound up eating the whole bag save four, one each for the rest of us. As the evening drew on I could see Sue snuggling up to Charlie. Seth started to squirm and Billy finally coughed, "I should get home. Fish biting early tomorrow, I thought I'd take Sam out early, unless, you want to come, Jake?" "I need to hold a meeting with the pack. Ness?"

"Papers due, I should probably work on them tomorrow. Maybe we can all do dinner again? Pizza? What about the packs?" "Sure" Jake said. "Leah won't wriggle out." I knew he'd never actually force her, but he did have a way with the rogue she-wolf. "Bonfire on the beach!" Was my idea, Jake was grinning. We all agreed it would be a fun evening. Billy was going to ask Sam in the morning. We were set, Billy got into his truck and took off. Seth was contemplating a dilemma-Charlie and Sue weren't going anywhere. I had an idea. "Seth, want to come over? I think we still have the old video game console of Emmett's - you and Jake could play." Seth looked excited, Jake went along. We said goodnight to Charlie and Sue and extinguished the camp fire. We got in the Volvo and I could see Seth's relief as we peeled away. I called Emmett expecting some more goading when I asked him where the console had been stored but got none. He quickly told me where it was, then I heard Rosalie moan- I couldn't hang up quickly enough. I told Jake. "If you ever even consider answering the phone when we're.." "Point taken. No phone in the bedroom." Or wherever we…" "Enough guys. I already have enough sordid images of both of you in my head. Just let me off here, I'll run back to the res." "No Seth, we promised a fun-filled evening of video games, we deliver. We promise not to get too handsy." "I just wish I had someone; why can't I just imprint already?" "Seth, you just need to meet someone special. Don't worry about the imprint," I said. "I can't. I won't. I know Sam didn't know about imprinting. But I do. And I could never let what happened to Leah happen to anyone else, anyone I care for. I know Leah's better, mostly because Jake is now her Alpha, but she'll never heal. I would never, ever want to hurt someone like that." My heart broke for him. I hoped he'd find his imprint soon. When we got back to the house I set up the console. Need for Speed was still in the machine and that seemed like a good choice. I grabbed waters for everyone (we still hadn't been shopping for ourselves) and sat down beside Jake. The boys were pretty evenly matched, though couldn't come close to the top scores already in place – that was Emmett's domain. Though why he spent time playing this game when he drove faster in real life, I didn't know and wasn't about to call and ask. I did wind up playing a few games myself but preferred to watch as Jake and Seth raced around the courses. I didn't plan on it, but over the span of a few hours I was nestled in Jake's lap with my hand stroking his chest under his shirt. Jake kissed me as my eyes started to close. "Seth" he whispered, though I could still here every word. "Why don't you head to the cottage? Have a good night's sleep. We'll see you in the morning" I could hear jingling as I presumed he handed Seth the keys. "Call us in the morning." Jake called as Seth opened the back door. "And I'll know better than to come over if you don't answer." Seth said wisely. "Absolutely." Jake agreed. Jake carried me to bed and got in with me fully dressed just like back the house, thinking I was asleep. He was a little taken by surprise when I lifted off his shirt and kissed him.

"Ness, you are insatiable!" he whispered as he removed my shirt, kissing me softly. "It takes two" I told him as I groped for the button on his jeans to release him. 


	26. Chapter 25: Complications

Complications

We woke at the break of dawn to continue our coupling, sleep being a necessary evil amidst the more interesting things we were getting on with in bed.

By eight thirty, Jake and I were stilled cuddled in bed when I leaned over to him "I think I'm satiated," but he proved me wrong as he pulled me to him once again.

"And now?" he asked coyly when we pulled apart.

"Definitely satiated," I whispered looking into his eyes, too spent to ask the same question of Jake.

We showered and dressed then I got on the phone to Seth and he was more than thrilled that we hadn't forgotten about him. He said he'd come right over. I tried to ask him about breakfast on the phone but he'd already hung up. Seth knocked on the backdoor two minutes later, adjusting his shorts.

"Seth, you could have just run, you didn't need to phase."

"I'm starving! I've been up for hours…didn't want to call" he blushed. "Ness, I was blinded by pink bunnies and purple butterflies in that room, any chance you'll redecorate? Anyway, I thought about going hunting but decided I need pancakes. Can we go to the diner before you drop me at home?"

"We were thinking the same thing about breakfast since we still haven't bought any groceries for the house." Jake said. "And we're going to have a pack meeting today, so I'll stay at the res. Ness, you still going to study or do you want to come? You know you're welcome, anytime."

It took me a minute to answer still thinking of Seth's comments about my room. "Oh, uh…Study. I really do need to get some work done. Though I think you're stretching it if you think I'm welcome by Leah." This wasn't what was really bothering me it was two things really but I chose to only share one with Jake. "Jake, are you going to phase?" I whisperer even though I knew Seth could hear perfectly well.

He understood and held me. "I'm sorry, Ness. It's …"

...inevitable. I know. I just like having you to myself." Jake kissed me like we didn't have an audience.

Seth broke up our kiss by making fake puking sounds in the background.

"Hungry like a wolf here, remember."

"Alright Seth, but you're going to need a shirt. Jake?"

He ran up to get one for Seth and threw it at him. "Last one." He looked at me meaningfully.

Seth shoved us both out the door. I drove as Jake called Embry, Quil and Leah about the meeting and the beach night. All were game to meet at noon. He passed the phone to Seth after he was done speaking with Leah, it sounded like Leah was worried about her little brother.

When we got to the restaurant, Jake and Seth had another scarfing contest. Twenty-five pancakes later they were tied.

"Jake, will you ever be satiated?" I asked him with a small smile. He nearly choked on his coffee, but composed himself and couldn't eat another bite. Seth had six more pancakes before he was ready to admit defeat.

I told Jake I'd run home so he could take the car but he wouldn't accept it. And I didn't want him to run with Seth-not yet. So I dropped Seth at home and said hi to Billy before I started out. Jake caught up to me before I left to kiss me and to tell me not to worry, that he'd take care of his pack.

"No chance you can just not think of us today?"

"Ness. I love you. There isn't a minute, a second, that goes by that I don't think of you. Of our happiness and how much I feel when I'm with you. It spills out into everything I do and making you happy is something I'm always considering. I can't help thinking of the next time we're going to touch and how we connect like we do. It's amazing."

I stood there in wonder. Jake. Me. Together. I understood. I couldn't keep dad out no matter how hard I tried because I felt the same. Always thinking of Jake and our love. I kissed him softly.

"I love you too, Jake." I kissed him again and told him I'd be back for the bonfire. He nodded, having poured his heart out I don't think he had any words left.

I stopped for groceries on the way back home and also stopped at an outdoor sports store to buy a few new clothes for Jake. I'd picked out a few hiking shirts, a couple of pairs of jeans, some wool socks and couple pairs of boxers. I also found a cute pair of shorts and tank for me – I'd have to tell Jake to be careful with them. The cashier looked at me with a double-take, and stared. His name tag read Mike Newton.

"Hi! I think I've found everything I need," I said, I was a little wary.

Mike stepped forward. "Hi...uh…you're not from around here?" he asked, still puzzled.

"Uh no. Just visiting family." I cringed, think fast Ness, battles of life and death never far behind. "A friends' family, really."

"You look familiar. Have you been here before?"

I didn't lie completely, however the information was a little non-chronological. "I moved away when I was two. My parents died." Death was usually a conversation stopper. Good.

"I'm sorry" he stammered.

"It was a long time ago."

"Who are you visiting?"

Damn. Only in a town this small. Could I lie? Best not chance it.

"My boyfriend," he waited.

"Jacob Black, he's from the reservation."

A further look of recognition crossed his face.

"Jacob...he moved away about 4 years ago…was so excited too, said he was going to Australia or something. I don't think there was anyone for a hundred miles who didn't know. Same time the Cullens' left again too come to think of it. Good thing they went to opposite ends of the world. Edward and Jacob were always at each other's throats."

It was funny but it wasn't. I had finally figured out this boy. He wants me to ask. Make me jealous and capitalize. No chance. "He told me about that, Jake did." I feigned needing to think about it. "A new girl at the school, right? Got married to the other boy? Well, her loss…" I smiled. He had no ammunition and knew it.

"I hope you have a good time while you're here."

"I plan to…we're going hiking. Which is why I'm here." I pointed at my purchases and he knew the conversation was over. Though I could tell he was still ruminating. Dad would know. He'd probably insist on paying Mike a visit. Soon.

Mike rang everything up and I nearly had my whole world crumble. I pulled back the credit card – embossed with my full name - as fast as I could and covered with a smile. "I forgot I'm over my limit. I'll need to pay cash."

I dug in my purse and pulled out quite a few bills. Mike handed me change. "I'll tell Jake you said hi." I called as I was out the door. I had parked the Volvo on the side of the building and didn't drive around front. I didn't know if Mike would recognize Edward's old car but had a feeling he'd join the dots if given enough time and information. I didn't like him, but wouldn't wish the Volturi on him either. I wouldn't be back. I parked the car in the garage thinking we wouldn't be using it for the rest of our stay.

I got home and left a message for Jake and Billy. I would have waited until tonight but knew Jake would want to know immediately even though nothing happened. Then I called Edward. We talked about the whole conversation, I knew he'd have preferred to hear it verbatim, I'd do that when we got home. He did think about paying a visit but also knew it would set off more red flags if it was too soon.

"Stay safe, Ness. Where is Jake?" I was pleased that he was thinking of Jake and told him that I'd already called. I think Dad was surprised Jake wasn't with me, we spent so little time apart. I told him we'd talk tonight. Edward hung up and would obviously tell the family about the incident. I called Charlie next and it was Charlie who was panicking – Mike had already called asking about Bella. He was elusive and curt only saying she was with Edward. I think Charlie was completely appropriate given Mike's bizarre call – but it also meant Mike was still contemplating our encounter and maybe thinking about how much I look like Bella. Charlie was aware we'd have to be careful about visits to his house for the rest of our stay. I reminded him I'd see him tonight. Good thing too, I don't think he had been paying too much attention to the plan when we were discussing it last evening. When he said, 'we'll be there', I knew Sue still hadn't left.

I couldn't do anything else about Mike. I worked on my essays, readings and the labs for all my sciences as well as few chapters of math. It was a good thing I could focus despite my worries.

By six thirty I'd made a pretty good effort and was anxious to see Jake. He obviously hadn't listened to his messages or he would have called. I wondered what was up with the pack. I changed into my new outfit and packed the new clothes for Jake too. I was pretty sure they'd fit – regardless I wasn't going back to Newton's to exchange anything. I found a backpack and put everything in it then headed out the back door and around town through the woods, the car still safely ensconced in the garage. Running was freedom, Jake and I usually go for a run every day at home, but here we'd been busy with family and friends and each other and hadn't made the time.


	27. Chapter 26: The Proposal

The Proposal

My phone rang when I was two minutes from Billy's - it was Jake. I asked him where he was then hung up. I put on a burst of speed and was in Jake's arms in thirty seconds.

"Missed you!" I kissed him.

"You're ok?" he asked, he seemed on edge. "Mike? I just got your message. I'm sorry, I would have..."

I told him I left him the message so he wouldn't worry, not the opposite. I gave him the summary of everything I did and he seemed to relax. He held me for a minute and then took a better look at me. I was glad my efforts weren't wasted. He whistled and pulled me into the garage for a closer look.

"Jake, don't you dare rip them." He didn't rip them but he definitely felt every inch of them. I pulled him out of the garage before he got any more ideas. "I bought you extra clothes too. You should try them on." We went into to the house and I had to give Billy the scoop about Mike as well. Then I remembered what Mike had said. I asked Jake "Australia?"

Jake laughed. "It seemed like a good lie at the time. Nowhere near Italy or Brazil or Alaska. But if I run into Mike, I'm in trouble. What would I have done there?"

"Keep it simple Jake – Hiking, camping, fixing cars. You can do these things everywhere. Mention kangaroos, big bugs and great whites and you've got almost everyone's idea about Australia. If you want to be more convincing – we could go this summer check it out. You know I've never been either."

Jake was more practical. "You need to get ready for school. And Emmett and Rosalie are heading to Chile – I need to run the garage, maybe I can buy my own shop day."

"You're right, Jake. One day though. Now try these on." I handed him the backpack and sat on the couch to wait with Billy. Jake modelled for me and he looked perfect. Even Billy teased him that he'd drive all the girls crazy.

"I only need one." Jake answered as he pulled me up to kiss me. I blushed but not from embarrassment, it was desire. I hoped Billy wasn't that observant.

"OK, try on the next one." He agreed but pulled me into his bedroom. Billy looked stunned but didn't say a word. Charlie would have brought out his gun. Jake stood still waiting for me. I had to undo all the buttons and pull the shirt off. I didn't know who was trying to torture, me or himself, because every time I touched his bare skin there was a rise in our heart rates. I put the new shirt on him, this one was short sleeved, so more exposed skin. I stared at his chest but carefully did up the buttons.

He kissed me again and pulled out the pants with eager anticipation. I wriggled away, opened the door and closed it behind me. I couldn't walk out and face Billy right away but taking a few breaths away from Jake's wandering eye was helping. I finally went to sit with Billy, who didn't comment about my absence. Jake came out of the room a few minutes later strutting his stuff. It was my turn to whistle.

Billy didn't hesitate to tease his son again, "Looks good, Jake. I'm starting to think I'll have to head to the beach without you two. Can we order the pizza now or are you going to model something else?"

I figured Jake was going answer inappropriately, so I jumped for the phone and answered "Pizza." I dialled and ordered a variety. There would be about 30 of us, so to be safe I ordered 60 pizzas, a dozen orders of wings and 5 dozen cans of pop. I had to speak to the owner and hold the order with my credit card, nervously wondering if Mike would know anyone who worked there.

While we were waiting for the delivery Charlie and Sue arrived and Jake called Seth to make sure he'd started the bonfire. All was on schedule according to Seth and they were all waiting for us. I looked around for the beach chairs and tables, Jake said he'd taken them down earlier. I was pleasantly surprised, he wasn't usually this organized nor were the packs this prompt. I put it down to my nervousness about Mike and set off to enjoy the evening.

The delivery arrived and rather than transfer everything to Billy's truck we had the driver follow Billy to the beach. I had Jake pay in cash with a big tip and he made sure to grab my credit card information back – now I wasn't just nervous, I was paranoid.

Jake pulled Billy along the sand towards the bonfire. Tables were set up and everyone quieted on our arrival, Sam and Seth helped carry everything in and set the food up on the tables.

Before we could dig in, Billy brought everyone to order.

"Everyone here knows the legend of the wolf-people and how we came to be. Most know the stories that follow and that we have been handed a great responsibility which, throughout time and especially most recently we have risen to this challenge with courage and determination. There is now a new chapter and our alpha and chief has asked to speak tonight. Jacob, please."

Everyone was silent, anticipation at its height.

Jacob was nervous, first he dropped my hand then pulled me up to walk with him. I hated the spotlight but hesitantly walked with Jake to stand beside Billy. Charlie and Sue were behind Billy seemingly as confused as I was.

"Most everyone knows I didn't believe the legends, that I shunned my proper place in our tribe but even with this you have all come to show your support today. I thank-you for this. Later, circumstances forced me to confront my heritage and stand up for what I believed was right. This matters because I have learned love triumphs over prejudice. Love is eternal only when it is reciprocated and now that I have found her and she has found me I would like to ask for her hand in marriage, with your blessing."

There was clapping, a few cat-calls and Billy's 'Yes, Chief," which sent shivers down my spine with its sincerity.

Jacob's eyes were welling from everyone's reaction but he managed to kneel in front of me and pulled out a ring. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen will you marry me?"

I had tears in my eyes. Only one word mattered.

"Yes."

Jacob, put the ring on my finger and kissed my hand.

There was more cat-calling, cheering and hollering. After a few minutes and many congratulations Seth yelled "Pizza's getting cold!" That was enough to get everyone lining up and us out of the spotlight for a little while.

I bent down to Jacob and kissed him. He finally stood up to look at me and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Really, Ness?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, Jake. Forever. That was perfect," I turned us towards Billy, Charlie and Sue all of whom were wiping away tears. We hugged each of them in turn. I thanked Billy for his speech and Sue for her support. Charlie told me I had my mother's determination, then he did offer his congrats though still managed to threaten Jacob if he ever hurt me. Seth came back with pizza and pop for Billy which reminded the rest of us to get in line.

Throughout the evening Jake and I answered questions and accepted congratulations. Sam and Jared even set off fireworks and since a bonfire wasn't complete without marshmallows there was a new contest. Jake held me despite my encouragement for him to join the fun.

"I want to sit with my fiancée," he said and kissed me. I acknowledged the word in passing, Fiancée sounds nice, so does girlfriend, partner and mate. Jake and I are already tied together in every way.

"My fiancé" I tried it out on Jake and he beamed. I wonder if when we do actually get married if I'll feel differently about the word wife.

We only broke apart when I heard Collin whisper to Brady from across the bonfire 'Get a room.' They both snickered. I figured they were too old such games by now. Jake took one look at Sam and at the two boys who quieted immediately when Sam stared. The power of the Alphas. I kissed Jake again feeling secure in his arms. My fiancé. I think I like the word after all.

"Is this what you did all day Jake? Plan this." I whispered.

"Yes, Seth did the beach. I wrote the speech. I discussed it with Sam, he had been waiting because of your talk with Claire. I had a very long talk with Billy about love, my mom and commitment* but somehow he already knew; he had my mom's ring in his pocket." Jake picked up my hand.

I looked more closely at the ring, the band a wolf as sentry and the front, a solitary diamond.

"Ness, this has always meant no harm would come to our people with the wolf as a guardian. Today, I would like to extend it to mean that with you and me on the same eternal ring our love will last forever."

I twirled the ring. "I'm a diamond?"

"You're way more precious. Way more unique. But as it stands you've always my world sparkle. So it seems like a good symbol." I kissed him, our lips parting slightly. I broke it off because I actually wanted to listen to Brady and Collin's advice.

Claire came skipping up to us a moment later and threw her arms around Jake and I, we tickled and thanked her. Claire was thrilled that the whole party was her idea. Then, she was the first to ask. "When are you going to get married?"

You could now hear a pin drop around the bonfire.

"We don't know yet, Claire." I told her. "How about we send you an invitation when we pick the day."

"And everyone!"

"Yes. Everyone will get an invitation to come to the wedding."

"Good! I hope it's here. It's pretty here." And she ran back to Quil's arms for more marshmallows.

I looked around it was dark, but I could still see the waves lapping on the shore, the bonfire glowing and illuminating the beach. Perfect for a proposal, definitely perfect for a wedding. There was only one problem. I shivered.

"Ness?"

"Here?" I repeated Claire's last word quietly, twisting my ring on my finger.

He could see the huge ramifications of my question. Vampires on Quileute land. Again. I backpedalled.

"No. Never mind, Jake. Esme and Alice would love to have it in the new garden; if we're still there when we pick a date. It's OK." I hadn't really lived anywhere long enough to call it home. The Forks house was out of the question given recent events. Denali – we could, but it was far and most everyone celebrating tonight wouldn't be able to attend. I knew the connection between Jake and I had improved our families' relationship but it wasn't exactly a close bond.

When I looked up from my reverie, Jake had left and was talking quietly to Sam and Billy. For a long time I just stared. Charlie and Sue came up to me to give me another hug and kiss of congratulations. He was going to call Bella tomorrow, but told me he would leave it up to Jake and me to share the events of the evening. They left the party hand-in-hand and I wondered if Charlie would ever get up the nerve to ask Sue about marriage.

Jake walked back over to me and took both my hands in his own.

"Here. We'll have it here."

I stared at him again.

"I could see how much it would mean to you and its home for both of us now. I wanted to just agree with Claire right then and there, as Chief. But Billy and Sam, right now, they are the true leaders. I know we can't live here now – maybe a hundred years from now – so even though I accept my heritage I have to respect the wishes of others. Sam and Billy hope our marriage will be another step towards peace. Your family, our family, is welcome on our land."

I kissed him. "Thank-you, Jake. It will be perfect, you'll see. It's so beautiful, peaceful."

I put my head on his shoulder and had another idea. "Maybe we can have a separate reception at the garden in New Hampshire afterwards? Carlisle's friends will want to see how much I've grown up. They'll be on their best behavior but still nowhere close to La Push. You'd be the lone wolf – would you up for it?"

"I've taken on murderous vampires before, Ness. In comparison I think those ones are pretty tame. I don't like what they represent, but they saved you Ness, for that I am grateful."

"What should we tell Aro?"

"Nothing. He'll find us when he's ready for another fight. Alice will know. Bella will stop him."

I'd never heard him have so much confidence in the family. Our family.

 ***A/N: If you would like to read about Jake's talk with Billy about love and commitment, please look up my other story "A Heart-to-Heart with Billy Black" from Jake's point-of-view.**


	28. Chapter 27: Bonding with the Packs

Bonding with the Packs

The party was still going strong. But we were in our own world together. Slowly, the younger wolves left for home. Emily and Kim had left hours ago with the little ones. When Sam came over to wish us congratulations and bid us good-night Jake left to help Billy to his truck.

"Sam" I said shyly. "Thank-you. For everything."

"We love you, Ness. Jake has told me so much about you. Sometimes I wish I could see inside his head again, but even without that firsthand knowledge I know the bond between the two of you is something no one can break. Please tell our great-great-great grandchildren our stories, our legends and keep our spirits alive."

I don't think I'd ever spoken to Sam one on one, and this heartfelt blessing and request from him made me teary. I thanked him. When Jacob came back he looked angry at Sam for making me cry. I showed him our interaction and Jake started to tear too.

He covered up. Men. "Never thought you could be so eloquent, Sam. "

"You either, Jake. Emily had to grab me a hanky half-way through your speech up there."

I hugged both of them. "Boys! Sam go home. Emily's waiting." He left after one last hand shake from Jacob.

Only Jake's pack was left: Leah, Embry, Seth and Quil. Quil had to take Claire home after her 4th marshmallow, not sure how her mom would deal with the sugar. On his return he gave me the biggest hug and congratulations. Of the group, he seemed the most at ease with me here.

Seth was next, he gave me a hug and an apology "I should have left sooner, yesterday. Sorry". Well, I guess that answered my question about whether they phased today. "No Seth. We all had fun. Jake and I, we're like that." I finished lamely. Everyone knew what I was talking about and Jake took it one step further and pulled me into a passionate kiss. I tried to resist but wound up responding in kind. Seth coughed and Jake sat me upright and encouraged me to go on like nothing had happened.

"As I'm sure Jake has told you, I can show anyone anything I want about my life. Sometimes, if I'm not careful it's also things I don't want others to know."

But it's not like the 5 of you, where everything you think or feel is fair game for judgement. I only have one person in my life where that is a concern and it's been very difficult for Jake and I because of...

They all simultaneously said "Edward."

Obviously having seen the discomfort through Jake's eyes Seth exclaimed "Shit!"

Embry was still processing what he'd seen, "he can see all your thoughts, like we can of Jake's?"

I nodded. "He can see Jake's too".

Jake was the one to blush and say "Everything".

Leah exhaled the f-word.

"So, as uncomfortable as this may be for all of us I'm determined to work through it so we can get past it and hopefully it will be easier."

"I know you're in Jake's head a lot, but maybe if I show you something it might help you understand me a little better as well." Seth and Embry were the first to volunteer. I showed them my story, memories of Jake and our new love. They were speechless at first but hugged me all the same.

Seth was the first to find words "Welcome to the pack, Ness."

Embry followed up with "Yeah, you're already family, Ness."

Leah was hesitant, I showed her the story, but with my deepest fear which I knew was hers too – forever without child. She surprised Jake and I with a hug. "We don't know about tomorrow, Ness. Love today and as Jake got his miracle in you, you may get another one."

"And you yours, Leah. Never give up" I hugged her like a sister, I didn't know how we would get on tomorrow, but today we shared a bond.

Quil and Jacob share a special connection as they have the shared experience of having imprinted early in their imprint's developments. As a result they've both had to care for each of us in different ways as we've matured. I asked Quil to sit and, though nervous, he complied. I showed him moments of my childhood up until the age Claire is now in which Jake was my friend, caregiver and teacher and the lasting impression it has left. Fast-forwarding a few years before I declared my love to Jake, I showed him the slow change and my new realization of our relationship. Most importantly the knowledge that he loved me back, stopping the memory before our first real kiss so I could keep my illusion of privacy.

Quil didn't know what to say at first. I did hear a small thank-you as he processed the memory. Then "I guess it's good to know how much you liked hanging out with Jake back then, learning, and that the memories stayed with you. Ness, I know you and everyone feel as though I am missing out on a lot but, I'm not. I'm happy, Claire is happy. If the rest of our story doesn't turn out like yours and Jake's I will still be there for her no matter what. I do hope, Ness, that if she ever does need a girl friend to talk with you could be there."

"Always, Quil, Always." I gave him a big hug.

They took turns telling me stories of La Push, since we'd been gone. Jake had already heard them all with his phasing but was intrigued about what I'd think about the gossip. I tried to tell them about Jake and I, but, of course they'd heard everything from Jake. I touched Jake's cheek and asked him a silent question – so you think about things other than sex? He nodded and kissed me but said "Not often." Then, I had to tell everyone because everyone was looking at me like I was gossiping about them. They laughed, but Seth said "Jake is wrong, Ness. We run, he thinks about you sleeping, he watches you do homework for crying out loud! He's amazed at your car skills and is still mad he can't beat you when you race – even phased. You're always in his thoughts, Ness. There is no doubt a lot of ...um…"

"You can say the word sex, Seth" Jake announced.

"Yes, but who wouldn't want to think about that too. Especially the time…" Jake pounced on Seth and covered his mouth. I was a little curious about what time. I'd have to ask Jake to get it out of Seth later. Me, I was thinking the afternoon of Charlie's BBQ…ummm…or the shower. And then as I do instinctively at the house when my thoughts get the better of me, I quickly looked around but with a sigh of relief, no Edward.

After being accosted by Jake, Seth sat silently the rest of the evening. I hoped he wasn't reviewing Jake's memories but soon I heard him snoring.

Leah kicked her brother in the shin "Go home. To bed. Mom's not home." She looked knowingly at me.

"Leah?" I asked timidly, not wanting to damage our fragile new relationship. "Do you think Sue and Charlie will get married?"

She hesitated.

"Never mind, I shouldn't pry."

"Probably." She was cautious too. " Mom's too worried about Seth and me though right now. Failure to launch and all. She doesn't say it, but we know." She poked Seth in the ribs, he kept sleeping. "This one's too stubborn to look for love; he thinks he'll break a heart." Of course she knew, the pack, how did that keep escaping me?

"Quil, Embry" she asked "Can you help me carry Seth home?" Quil nodded as Leah threw a few logs on the fire. I was going to volunteer. But Leah just said to us, "We'll see you tomorrow."

Embry wished us goodnight, and said "I'll help with Seth. I can handle it." He said to Jake as Jake thanked him again. We were now alone; just gazing at each other. I listened to the waves, noticing the quiet of the forest, no wolves out tonight. I cuddled into Jake warming in his arms and the firelight, beyond happy in the arms of my fiancé.


	29. Chapter 28: Night on the Beach

Night on the Beach

We sat watching the fire, I played with my ring and Jake stroked my hair. We talked about the wedding, which of course led to grand discussions of Alice and then the rest of the family. We couldn't decide on how to tell the family about our engagement. Of course Dad would know before we even walked in the house. Jake smiled and kissed me but I didn't know what for.

He pulled one of the blankets off the log and laid it in the sand, and pulled me down to lay with him. "Should we stay here tonight, or go home?" he asked. I pulled another blanket down and arranged it beneath us as well. I looked at the sky, clouds but no rain – what a miraculous week for Forks. I cuddled into him "Let's stay right here."

Jake put more wood on the fire and grabbed a few more blankets. One rolled up for a pillow to share and two more as covers –it was a little chilly out, though with the fire in front of me and Jake up behind me I was sandwiched in warmth. I drifted off to sleep with dreams of Jake and I alone, naked, on the beach…

I woke, Jake smiled. Jake was watching me and caressing my waist as I slept. I cuddled further under the covers and realized I was naked. I peaked, so was Jake. The sun was barely a glint through the trees as the water lapped at the dark shoreline.

Jake hinted, "We're the only ones up," as he pulled me towards him to kiss me. He had a look of triumph.

I finally got it. "You planned this, all of this." I was mesmerized.

"I hoped it would work out this way, but I needed you to say yes to staying on a frozen beach with your new fiancé."

"I'm gullible. Do I get a reward?" I decided to play along.

He kissed me and parted my lips with his while simultaneously parting my legs below. I was admiring him for his ingenuity ensuring I didn't cold when he touched just the right spot.

"Oh, Jake!" I cried, he pressed closer to my lips so no sound would escape. The fear and excitement of being caught - I wriggled to look behind us but Jake made me focus. I wanted to scream, he knew I was close as he twisted his fingers around my swollen nub and I moistened. He slid in one finger then two between my folds and I arched trying but failing not to make a sound. As he pressed and thrust inside and out, it was too late to call his body to me. I cried out and could feel myself pulsating around his fingers. Jake pulled me towards him as I quivered in delight. He wasn't done – as soon as I could catch my breath he was suckling each nipple in turn and ripping open a box of condoms. I reached for him and he jerked away – he was ready. He teased my nipples so they were peaks. I grabbed for him again and he was sheathed, guiding him to my centre and pressing on his buttocks so he entered me, Jake called out my name as the sun was getting higher in the trees. I pulled him more deeply into me as I coiled my legs around him and pressed into him. We found a rhythm with our bodies and tongues until Jake cried out with release. I kissed him tenderly thinking he'd want to rest, but he had other plans and resheathed to enter me again. It didn't take long for me to moan "OH, Jake…..don't stop... " as I called out in ecstasy, he slowed but I grabbed him before he could pull out. He continued to thrust as I orgasmed again and he joined me. We laid joined catching our breath and caressing one another. Jake got up put the used condoms in the fire along with two extra logs and returned to our make-shift bed. "Those will not burn Jake," I giggled, I was still giddy.

He kissed me and it was more than obvious he was not yet sated. I could fix that at home. "Jake, we need to get dressed, someone..."  
"There's only us," he pulled me up to sit on his lap and wrapped a blanket around us both. The sun was touching the beach by now; I looked out to the ocean and back to the forest. I thought for an instant that maybe Billy and Charlie would take the boat out and cringed, but then relaxed; Charlie was with Sue.

I twisted around and kissed him as I dressed him and sat up slightly so I could guide him up into me and returned to his lap. I squeezed gently with a pelvic tilt and Jake caught his breath. He moved what little he could and I sighed. This continued until Jake and I could take no more - he pulled me under him to stroke my clitoris and thrust into me with urgency while waiting for my reaction. I was close …but couldn't reach threshold. Jake was there but wouldn't… he pulled out and spread my legs to lick and suck and lick… "Yes, Jacob!" he re-entered me and thrust deeper and harder until we both cried out with the beach now alight. I cuddled up in Jake's arms and returned to sleep feeling warm all over.

"Ness, it's morning" I rolled over noticing I was fully clothed and so was Jake.  
"Did you sleep well?" he asked as he kissed me good morning, "you sure have vivid dreams. Sex on the beach is too messy though, and there's sand everywhere. Can I take you home?"

Jake helped me sit up. I was stiff. Just from sleeping on the beach? Was it really all a dream? I looked to the fire, it was slowly extinguishing but there was an unburned condom wrapper in the corner.

I kissed him. Two could play at this game. "Home sounds great. I could get a little more sleep, do my homework, start packing, have a shower..."

He nodded with a small smile while I continued "…meet Mike for coffee and tell him Bella's a vampire."

I think until my last few comment he actually thought he had me convinced the whole morning was a dream.

I pulled him to me and kissed him "I didn't find it messy. I do feel a little bit sandy though. Should we go skinny dipping?" I looked out to the ocean.

"It's a little cold, Ness."

"I figure you'll keep me warm. Just like this morning."

"It's late."

"I was trying to convince you of that earlier."

"There might be …um…shrinkage."

"Jake!"

He had no more arguments so he undressed, then stood up and stretched. So comfortable in the buff. I looked around then quickly hung my clothes on a log and cuddled into Jake. Jake picked me up and carried me into the Pacific.

"Like I said, Ness, cold" as he carried me out plunged me into the deep water. He was right. I screamed and he pulled me towards him. He was still warm. I kissed the salt spray from his lips and wound tightly around his hips.

"Jake, that's the opposite of shrinkage."

"Can't help it," he mumbled as his body swayed with mine. We rocked with the waves, despite the cold the heat was building between us.

"Jake we don't have..." He caressed the length of my body and was gone.

Before I could look up he was back, arms around me, picking where he left off. He pressed against my folds and entered. Jake might not have been cold but the cold water around us caused me to tighten as he pressed further inside. He kissed my neck and my lips with fervour and despite the fact that we were in the Pacific in March I was heating up. We were weightless, we were one. He pulled me to the ocean floor and thrust into me, until I pulsed. He kicked off up to the surface and I took a deep breath as I let out a scream of ecstasy, and Jake's lips covered mine as he trembled in release.

Jake carried me out of the water and lay me on our bed once again covering us both.

We were pressing our luck. It was already ten am and we were naked on a public beach. I nudged Jake. "We need to go."

He kissed me "Are you sure?"

I nodded but was a little unconvincing. "Let's get breakfast. Then shower." Usually the mention of food was enough to distract Jake and again it worked.

"Yeah, I'll make you pancakes."

We dressed trying to shake off the sand as much as possible. I carried the blankets we used so we could wash them before returning them to their rightful owners. Jake made sure we had any garbage that no one else should have to clean up. The beach still had remnants of pop cans and a few unburned pizza boxes.

"I'll send Seth to clean up the rest." Jake said as we walked to Billy's.

When we got there I threw the blankets in the wash and Jake found me a towel. I ran the water and had Jake add my clothes to the load. I had nothing to wear. I lathered up and washed my hair, did the same thing to my body and could only think of Jake wishing he were with me.

When I grabbed the towel, I was pleased Jake had left a pair of his old track pants and a sweatshirt for me on the sink. I could smell cooking when I left the bathroom. Jake was at the grill and Billy was mixing batter. Jake came over to me and kissed me admiring my attire which was at least six sizes too big "So you model too?"

"Thanks, Jake."

Billy obviously didn't need an explanation, after his comments earlier this week I was expecting an Emmett-esque comment about me being in Jake's pants. I didn't know what Jake had told him.

"I told you swimming here in March wouldn't be fun. Do you feel warmer?" Jake asked kissing me softly.

"A little." My eyes told him it was fun. "Do you want me to finish making breakfast, so you can shower?"

He kissed me again. "Coffee is ready. Pancake grill is hot. The sausages will only take 2 more minutes. I'll be out by then."

Jake disappeared.

Billy looked at me questioningly "Swimming?"

"Yeah, it was refreshing." I said no more as I ladled the batter onto the grill. I knew the blush wasn't going away, but at least Billy couldn't read my mind. As the pancakes were cooking I touched my ring again.

"Thanks, Billy" I said, as I held it. "It can't have been easy, giving this to Jake, to me."

He shook his head. "Best thing in the world to know your kids are happy. Just hope you can pass it down, someday. Or keep it for eternity."

Billy was making me teary. Jake came out of the shower in just a towel and rescued the pancakes. He took one look at my face and was concerned.

"It's OK, Jake. Just a little family bonding." I shooed him away to get dressed.

He came out in the new shirt and jeans he'd only modelled for me earlier – his only clean pair of clothes. I had managed to finish cooking the first set of pancakes and started another one. I'd served them up to Billy with some sausages and coffee.

Jake pulled out a chair for me and handed me coffee. He still looked concerned so I touched his cheek to show him what Billy said. He kissed me and then squeezed Billy's hand before heading back to the grill. I got the next set of pancakes and sausages. Last night, I think I only had one piece of pizza with all the excitement. I sighed with contentment as I ate my first bite. Jake served himself and started more before pulling his chair around to sit right next to me pulling me into his lap. He was so at ease with me with Billy in the room I couldn't help but relax too. He finished his serving before I finished mine and served himself another helping, as Billy was done after one. As my second batch was cooking Jake took to feeding me a couple bites of his. As I finished my second serving, and sipped my coffee Jake cooked himself twelve more pancakes.

We washed dishes and hung the laundry on the line. Jake was going to call Seth but I grabbed some garbage bags and suggested we go out to the beach ourselves. Jake was game. We finished cleaning up and walked along the road towards the dumpster. The beach parking lot was still empty as we threw the bags in the dumpster. Jake kept walking towards the main road ahead. We passed a road barrier with a sign facing the main road. - Jake dragged the barrier off the road and removed the sign that said 'Beach closed'. He grinned.

"Like I said Ness. Only us." If I hadn't been so smitten, I would have hit him. Instead, I took him in my arms to kiss him passionately, when Seth walked around the corner.

He left as quickly as he arrived and I had to call out for him to come back.

He jogged back, sheepish.

"Seth, if you run away every time we kiss, you won't see a lot of us." I told him as I kissed Jake again because I wanted to but it did also prove my point. "More importantly, who did this?" I pointed at the barrier.

Seth didn't answer.

"Jake?" I accused.

He answered "My idea, Embry and Seth were supposed to, but it looks like Seth is off the hook. He fell asleep."

"Sorry, Jake. I called Embry first thing. He said all was well. I just came to check on it."

What could I say. "You really planned everything, Jake."

"Not the skinny dipping."

It was then that I remembered that I wasn't wearing clothes that fit or a bra, I wrapped around Jake. I think Seth noticed at the same time and blushed.

"Jake and I were going to finish laundry then go for a run. Do you want to come?"

"Sure, Ness. How about an hour? I need to call Embry. Can he come too?"

"The more the merrier."


	30. Chapter 29: Run to Canada

Run to Canada

We finished the laundry and folded all the blankets. My clothes were still a little damp but I put them on anyway, better than having on pants that would fall off during a run.

Seth called and said Embry was in. I had even called Leah and she was game too. Jake made up sandwiches for lunch. I emptied the backpack, put in my wallet and brought it out to Jake.

"Should we run to San Francisco or North? I need a good long stretch."

Jake looked at me questioningly. "That would mean…"

"I have a backpack for everyone's stuff."

"We're phasing?"

"You still won't be fast enough."

"But…"

"I know Jake...we can't hide…they're as fine with this as they're going to be. And way better than Edward."

He couldn't argue. "North".

Good. Canada. I want to run the Lion's Gate.

Seth, Embry and Leah were excited about our long run. We decided to run through the Olympic National Park and take the ferry to Seattle. Easy run from there to the border, skipping across Zero Avenue to Canada– wolves didn't need passports and I thought going through a border-crossing on foot with just a backpack would lead to awkward questions.

The run was exhilarating, though getting through the metropolis of Vancouver with four wolves proved challenging. They phased human near Wreck Beach which, on second glance, was an apt spot for nudity (I tried not to peak). After the boys and Leah got dressed, we ran around the coast and along the few sand beaches through Stanley Park and massive trees. We lounged around the trees to relax and chat before heading across the bridge. The view was spectacular, clear and crisp, and my guess was that Forks wasn't the only place on the west coast experiencing strange seasonal weather. We headed up the Capilano River across the first bridge we found and up the Capilano trail to the suspension bridge. I wanted to jump to the valley below – it would have been a rush - but the gaggle of tourists made this remain a fantasy. We ran up Grouse Mountain and took in the view. I didn't even bring a camera. Of course, I really didn't ever need one.

It was nearly 6 o'clock; if we weren't leaving for home in two days a waterfront hotel would look pretty tempting but we had to get home tonight. We had dinner at the observatory restaurant watching the sunset. Leah, Embry and Seth finished and told us to meet them outside. Like at Oliver's the world disappeared except Jake and me. We had precious minutes alone to stroll the boardwalk and steal a few kisses while taking in the view. Jake had a moment and told me again how much he loved me and that he would always love me and asked to marry me all over again. Me, being overly sentimental, told him I love him too and would love to be his wife. We just stared into each other's' eyes and held hands for a long while before rejoining the group. Now that it was dark, we snuck out the back and instead of taking the gondola down the front of the mountain, ran into the forest to get ready for our trek home. It took less time without the sightseeing and we made it to our place just before midnight.

I offered to drive everyone home (Mike wouldn't still be up, would he?) but they declined immediately, all shaking their furry heads. I thanked them all for joining us and Embry for his conspiracy with Jacob and the beach. Embry nodded then he and Seth took off. Leah just barked and ran after them.

Right after they left Jake phased human and nearly threw me to the forest floor as he took my mouth in his and tugged at my clothes. I stared at him in the buff as he took my hands again and then I pulled him into the house and up the stairs.

We stopped to talk many hours later. "That was …wow, Jake."

"Oh, Ness. When we get home, how will I get enough of you when we only have weekends?"

"I don't know, Jake. I can't get enough of you either."

"Move in with me."

"Jake."

"Sorry, not the best timing." I shook my head. But I'd had exact same idea. I changed the subject.

"I must admit, I'm pretty pleased you didn't attack Seth or Embry for their thoughts."

"How do you …"

"All the way up Leah looked like she was going to puke. And she kept growling at Embry and nipping at Seth. You could have made them stop."

"That wouldn't have been fair. I was having better thoughts and knew the minute I got home I could try them out."

"I thought we were taking in the scenery."

"I was. I let you run in front of me, didn't I?" He winked and pulled me towards him once again.


	31. Chapter 30: Heading Home

Heading Home

We woke early the next day even with our late night and threw the rest of our clothes in the wash. Although we had our few new clothes we'd be packing pretty light for our return trip. We made breakfast after a short run (this time I let Jake lead) and cleaned up the house. Jake washed the car, I checked on the cottage lingering in my old room for far too long; Seth is right, bunnies and butterflies are everywhere. I shed a single tear but headed back, if Jake found me here, like this, I didn't want to think about what he'd do. Or more likely what he wouldn't want to do. When I returned to the house I called Charlie to invite him and Sue for dinner and Jake called Billy. We invited the pack, Seth and Embry said they were busy and I really couldn't begrudge them. Claire had a baseball game that Quil couldn't miss but would bring her over to say goodbye when it was done. Surprisingly, Leah, said she would come. Jake ran to the grocery store to grab chicken and sides, while I did a bit more homework.

"Hi, Ness." Leah hesitated in the doorway but actually stepped foot into the lair. I gave her a hug in welcome.

"I have to apologize for Seth…" I stopped her there.

"No Leah. He doesn't even have to apologize. We've been through this, Leah. We can't change this."

"I can." She said.

That's when Jake looked at her to say "I know you've been thinking…"

"Yeah. I'm going to try to stop phasing. It's getting easier. Maybe I can…be normal."

I was stunned. Jake hugged her. "You'll have to call us then." Jake didn't try to talk her out of it, accepting Leah's decision for what it was.

Leah helped Jake in the kitchen as I set the table and found an old computer to play some music. Jake asked me about the stove and I took a look at it. I know it had been here since I was a baby but I obviously hadn't cared to ask how to use the 12-burner monstrosity. I quickly called mom. She was so excited that we'd be back tomorrow that I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Then she asked about Mike. I told her everything we'd done (which I'm sure Edward had already covered) and she seemed a little calmer. I finally asked about the stove and she put Esme on the line; it was relatively easy to operate with the right information. Bella came back on the phone and asked about Charlie and Sue, the packs and Billy. I told her about our run to Canada, our campfires, talks with Charlie and Billy and the packs. I left out the most important information about our stay – I'd let everyone know tomorrow.

Billy rang the bell next, and I could see the apprehension on his face as he came in the door.

"Dad, no one will bite. Come in!" Jake called. I slugged him playfully and helped Billy into the kitchen. Billy brought my purse that I'd left at his place yesterday. Jake told him about our run and Billy seemed a little surprised I could keep up.

"I don't have many secrets, Billy, at least from you. I should take you on a run sometime, though you would have way more fun with Edward. If there are any more vampire jokes better get them out – Charlie and Sue will be here any minute."

I was thankful Leah and Billy had none. Jake was saving any other ones he could come up with for Rosalie or Emmett.

Charlie and Sue walked in without knocking a few minutes later. I breathed a sigh of relief we had changed topics to Jake's summer plans. Jake was excited about the challenge of taking on the whole garage for the summer. Charlie, Billy, Sue and Leah listened as Jake explained his plans to take business courses next year, I'd heard it before and was excited for him. I still hadn't heard about school next year so was worried about that. And my summer plans were still up in the air. And I did want to really talk to Jake about what he blurted out in the middle of our love-making last night. I was also going to ask Carlisle about volunteering at the clinic. Then there was the issue of a job, I was certainly spending a lot of money these days, I should at least learn how to pay my way.

"But Emmett's going to have to hire another mechanic and our receptionist is off for the summer so I'll get on that as soon as we get back." I tuned back into Jake's conversation. I didn't know this bit of information. I was intrigued. A receptionist.

"Jake? What if there was a receptionist that also knew a bit about cars. Could, say, help out with oil changes and tire changes and things, would that be a good fit? What if said receptionist, had no real experience but did just graduate from high school. Would she be considered for the position?"

Jake looked at me and kissed me. "You're hired."

"I don't know if I should kiss my boss."

"It's a requirement of employment."

"Jake, I don't think you'll have a problem finding a mechanic if that's the case, though it might make me a little jealous."

He made a face. "Only you, Ness." As always, I melted into him when he said that. Even with our audience.

The timer on the stove started going off, and I got up to serve dinner with Jake's help. It wasn't fancy but the roasted chicken, potatoes and veggies were a hit. Maybe it was the stove. We had store-bought pie and ice cream for dessert and then we packed up all the left overs for Billy to take home since we were leaving.

When we were done cleaning up the dishes and relaxing in the living room the doorbell rang. Claire and Quil came in, Claire was very upset.

"What's wrong, Claire?" I hugged her.

"Our team won and then a boy spitted on his hand when we needed to shake hands at the end of the game. Gross!" She shook her hands in an effort to remove the cooties.

"So, Claire, are boys gross?" I asked her, steering her to the kitchen sink to help her wash her hands.

"YES! I hate boys!"

"What about your daddy?"

"He's ok. He kisses me here." she points to her cheek.

"And Sam?" I pressed.

"Sam's is Emily's but he likes me too."

"Do you know other boys?"

"Jakey but he's yours now. And Jared is a daddy; and the baby is a boy but he's too little and Grandpa, he's a boy, he gives me candy and Seth he tells me stories. And Quil…Quil is my favorite cause he plays any game I like."

"So, not all boys are gross?"

Claire had to think for a minute. "I guess not."

I smiled and kissed her. "You know what Claire. I think you're right. Some boys are ok".

"Quil!" Claire ran over and jumped on Quil. "Will you play baseball with me and not spit?"

"Of course, Claire, anytime."

Jake couldn't help tapping him on the knee "Good boy." Claire laughed. Quil didn't even glare.

I whispered to Jake, "It seems saliva gets both big and little boys into trouble." Jake blushed but licked my cheek anyway when Claire wasn't looking. Quil saw our exchange but didn't comment.

For Leah, it made her resolve not to phase again even more permanent. She covered her eyes and sighed. "I would be so happy not to know what that means." I had to apologize. It was a good thing Charlie and Billy were talking about the game.

We talked into the evening, Quil now also aware of Leah's plan to quit phasing and wishing her well. Quil picked up Claire to carry her home after she fell asleep. I gave him a hug.

"Thanks for everything, Quil. Especially all the stuff with Jake and me," I said.

"Seth and Embry are giving you a hard time? They'll get over it. Once they settle down." Quil was so confident.

"You're welcome to visit us anytime" Jake hugged him too. "Take care and get that little girl home."

Claire – little. I remember when she used to be the big kid. I had another flashback to the bunnies and butterflies. Back then, Jake would read me stories and tuck me into bed. Give me a little kiss on my forehead. I didn't want us to ever go to the cottage. Jake noticed something in my eyes as I gave Claire a kiss goodnight which again reminded me of the past.

"Ness, we can come back next year." Jake stroked my arm and kissed my neck. Nothing about either touch had anything to do with bunnies and butterflies. I had to hold myself in check. I would miss Claire – Jake knows she is really my only friend, its hard visiting so infrequently. But it was still wrong for me to let Jake assume that's why I was upset.

Leah said goodnight shortly after Quil and Claire left. She hugged me; I hoped we would stay in touch.

"Call me anytime about anything Leah, girl stuff." I offered.

"You'll call me back?" she winked. No secrets from the pack.

"I'll definitely call you back! But will be very happy when you can't do that!" We hugged. Leah and I friends, I wouldn't have thought it was possible.

Charlie and Sue were next. Charlie was taking us to the airport tomorrow. He was busy arranging his schedule with Billy, while I hugged Sue goodbye. She wished us well.

"Sue, as women, we sometimes need to take matters of love into our own hands. I took a leap and it worked out for Jake and me. Just ask Charlie, he might surprise you."

"You are wiser than your years, Ness, thank-you."

Charlie just hugged me. He doesn't do good-byes.

"Wish you could have stayed longer. We could have gone fishing. See you tomorrow, Ness."

Billy was last. He was picking us up around 10. It made sense to ask.

"Billy, do you want to stay here the night? There's lots of room."

I was happy when Jake agreed. "Yeah Dad, you're more than welcome. Save you time in the morning."

"Not a chance, kids. I want to sleep tonight. I remember being young and in love."

Jake groaned "Dad."

It was clear we weren't going to change his mind.

"Thanks for everything, Billy. We'll see you tomorrow." We helped him to the SUV with the leftovers and he was off.

I lounged on the couch. "Are you packed, Jake?"

"Not much to pack, is there? I think there's still laundry in the dryer, though."

"Tomorrow?" I hinted. He understood completely and picked me up and carried me upstairs.

Hours later, I had to admit Billy was right. Every touch or caress just left Jake and me wanting more of each other. We were certainly not quiet. Jake kissed me again as we drifted off to sleep.

We locked up the house, I went to the cottage alone, locking up the bunnies and butterflies and my inner demons at the same time. When I returned I cuddled into Jake, he held me comforting me about returning home and the weekend ahead. It was as good as an excuse as any as to why I was upset even though I should have corrected Jake's assumptions. When Charlie and Billy arrived we threw our minimal bags in the car and we got off to the airport without difficulty; Billy thanked us again for coming and for the truck. Both Charlie and Billy wished us well with our engagement, we made sure to reassure them we had no immediate plans for a wedding (which, when translated, meant no urgent reasons either). When I told Charlie that I hoped I'd attend a different wedding first, he looked shocked.

"Ask her Charlie. She makes you happy. That's what we all need." I said as I looked at Jake.

"Soon Ness, but there's all the stuff with the kids."

"Bella is great. Leah is working on it. And Jake will help Seth. There's nothing to worry about."

"Thanks, Ness. Be sure to give your mom a hug for me."

"Will do. Edward will probably be out in a month or so to check on Mike. If he calls again, hang up."

"Don't worry, Ness. I'm getting good at this."

Charlie had tears in his eyes as he gave me one last hug.


	32. Chapter 31: The Announcement

The Announcement

We called Edward when we got to Seattle for our connection. It was time to figure out how to tell the family the news.

"Dad, can you pick us up. Alone?"

"What's up Ness?"

"And just ask that everyone be at home when we get back. It's important but not over the phone." And before he could ask. "No. Dad. That's not it."

He let out a sigh of relief. "OK. What time?"

So I told him our flight details and we hung up.

"Jake are you nervous?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I love you." What could possibly I say to that?

We touched down in Manchester; Jake and I now new members of the mile high club. It was a challenge fitting into the space but we made the most of it knowing the weekend was awash and we'd be back in the family house the whole of the following week. When we landed, at least we didn't need to pick up luggage. We walked out of the security area and dad was waiting I gave him a hug.

"Thanks, Dad."

It took him a couple seconds until he picked up my hand.

"Congratulations." he tried to sound enthusiastic but didn't pull it off.

"Edward, you know I love Ness. I'll do anything…"

"Not now Jake. Currently I'm just trying to get the airplane bathroom out of my head. And MY room!"

"We decided it was a better option than the cottage." I said diplomatically. All I could really think about was how Jake would read me stories and play peek-a-boo with me in that room, there's no way he would ever touch me like he does now if we had slept there.

"Ness. That is something you need to talk about with Jake way before you get married."

 _Dad, get out of my head._

Jake was concerned "Ness? What's wrong? Talk to me about what?"

"Please Jake. Not now". I held him as a life line; he held me too but was worried.

 _Dad can you drop me at Jake's. I can't do this tonight._

"It's a weeknight. And everyone's waiting."

Weeknight? Really, after he gave us the keys to an empty house for a week? It's so not the time to talk house rules. "Like you said, Dad, Jake and I we need to talk. We'll come over after." I finally spoke out loud to dad for Jake's sake.

Dad relented and dropped us off.

I was more nervous than our first time or telling Jake of my love. Today I was terrified.

Jake opened the door and pulled me to him.

"What is it Ness? Please let me in."

I pulled him to me to touch him, hold him, Jake did the same and pulled me onto the couch.

"So Ness. You were talking about the cottage and fell apart. What's wrong? Please." He sounded as terrified as I felt.

"Me."

"No Ness. You're perfect." Jake kissed me through my tears.

"Jake. I was thinking about the cottage. My room. My baby room. And not wanting us to stay there."

He nodded.

"Jake I lived there. In a crib. Six-and-a-half years ago."

"Yes."

"Does this bother you in any way?" Jake picked me up and kissed me.

"Ness. I'm sorry. I didn't know this was upsetting you so much. Of course, I've thought about it. Quil and I have talked about this for years. We've talked about this. You're special, Ness. I know you've grown up quickly – I've tried to keep up, but everything you've done has been you. I love that you're so compassionate and forgiving. You couldn't live in your family without those traits. You're always great with Claire – she strives to be like you, and Leah – she wonders how you've managed to understand life the way you do when she has almost four times the life experience – something she doesn't let me forget. Seth and Embry – I would have given them a piece of my mind, you chock it up to boys-will-be-boys. I don't know how you deal with Edward. But not because of this. You will always be his daughter, his little girl, whether you're 6, 17 or 150 – I don't image time is really important to a vampire. And it shouldn't matter to us. Edward has almost a hundred years on Bella, and Carlisle and Esme have about a 300 year gap. Will you care when you're 175 and I'm 191? I hope not. And your bedroom? Ness, I would have picked everything up and put it away for when we hopefully have a daughter, so I could tell her all about you as a little girl and how special you've always been. Then I would have taken you in my arms and made love to you like always. Share your fears Ness, I'll try to help anyway I can."

I kissed him, through my tears. The love of my life.

"Jacob?"

"What Ness?"

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes, Ness. Forever." He kissed me tenderly.

I was still content in Jake's arms twenty minutes later. "So, should we go and tell everyone the good news?" I asked, glad to have finally voiced all my fears.

Jake pulled me to standing, kissed me again and nodded. We freshened up before running home.

Everyone was waiting in the living room on our arrival. I seemed to be making a lot of announcements lately – this looked a lot like déjà vu. I was folding my right hand over my left while we stood and decided what to say.

Jake started.

"Ness and I wanted to talk with you today because we have made a decision about our future. We have decided to get engaged and to continue our life together forever."

Jake kissed me leaving no doubt he wanted me forever.

Alice squealed.

It was my turn to speak. "I know we're young but we have family who have shown us how to work through adversity and each other that we can lean on when we need to. I hope you can all welcome Jake to our family because he will forever be in my heart."

Esme wanted to see the ring and so did Alice. They oohed and aahed, and Alice announced "I better get to work!" I will talk with her soon about the beach. Jasper was drawn to us, we were so happy, he wished us well. Carlisle hugged Jake "You're already family, Jacob, protecting us as your own. I know you'll always do the same for Ness." Emmett called "Yeah, family. Just furrier. Congrats, Ness, I don't really mind the mutt." I was so mature at that moment that I stuck my tongue out at him, but smiled, this was truly a complement coming from Emmett. Rosalie was quiet, she'd raised me, like mom, dad and Jake and always worried. She finally spoke, not to me but to Jake. "Jake, just love her, no matter what might or might not happen" her voice was fraught with emotion. He understood. "Always, Rose. Thank-you."

Mom came up to us and kissed us both. "Too soon, Ness."

I shook my head. "Jake and I we talked about that. Like you and dad, mom. I know. We will be as happy as you are."

"I'm thrilled for you, sweetie." I hugged her and kissed her.

Dad stared at both of us for the longest time. I started to wonder what he was reading in our thoughts. I had no doubts now. I love Jake. He loves me. I was just hoping Dad would get on with it. Enough, dad! I looked at Jake. He looked questioningly at me as well at first. Then, we just gazed into each other's eyes, lost in the moment. When dad finally spoke, I had forgotten there was anyone there but Jake. "You have no secrets from each other. That is the best way to move forward and grow in a relationship. Never lose sight of yourselves or each other. Congratulations." He meant it this time and I hugged him with happy tears "I love you, daddy."

My family accepting Jake, planning the wedding at La Push, the best part of love is bringing everyone together. Forever.

 **A/N: This is really where I planned for it to end, but as stories go I'm getting a little carried away. I wanted to know about Jake and Ness's summer, more about Mike and school so there's more to come.**


	33. Chapter 32: Decisions

Decisions

As soon as we got up on Friday morning Jake whisked me out of the house and I spent the whole day at Jake's as it was still spring break and he didn't want me in that house all day in my condition. I started to wonder if a little period caused this much paranoia in him what he'll do if we managed to get pregnant or have kids. Not a bridge to cross today. Though we did have ample time to talk about our future and summer plans.

The easiest discussion started with my answer to Jake's question, the one he asked me in Forks. And not the one about marriage. That was a given.

"Yes, Jake. I'll move in." Jake was thrilled, and we spent the day cleaning and organizing the apartment for that eventuality but, all told, there wasn't much to do. I had a key, most of my stuff was there and I had taken over the bathroom long ago. I just had to get there the other five nights a week so talking to mom and dad would be the next big hurdle.

"They won't like it, Jake." I spoke my random thoughts as we were doing dishes; Jake was on the same page.

"Edward should. I can't believe I haven't become vampire fodder yet. Sleeping with you in that house…"

"Are you going to tell me what you think about?" I could guess, but that wouldn't be any fun.

"Everything, Ness. As much as I try to rebuild an engine in my head at night, it doesn't work." Then, he put his arms around me and kissed my neck from behind. Show and tell, I like it, except today's not a good day. He hands were already up my shirt, fondling my breasts and I let out a sigh.

"Jake…"

"I know, Ness. I want to do that and a million other things in our bed. I will show you. Next weekend."

"With any luck that could be pushed up a few days." We both sighed.

Just the thought of going to bed with Jake every night without Edward hearing the thoughts in my head would be worth a little argument. They'd miss me, we'd visit. School, I'll study. Those weren't the main barriers. Jake and I being alone together all the time as the main reason for the move is likely to be why my parents wouldn't like the idea. But it's not like we'd be doing anything we weren't already doing, so I couldn't see the logic of their potential argument. I was pretty confident they would agree with the move eventually but our time lines might be slightly incongruent - I was thinking the sooner the better and mom and dad were probably thinking more like when I head to school in the fall, maybe we could compromise.

Jake changed the subject refusing my offer of a sensual massage. Instead, he really did offer me the job of receptionist at the garage and I thought it would be fun to work closely with Jake for the summer. I worked on my resume just so Jake could confer with Emmett but we weren't worried. We decided not to mix business with pleasure though knew it would be easier said than done. I'm sure Emmett would have a lot to say on the subject anyway. Jake was also keen on my plans to volunteer at the clinic too, knowing I'd like to help where I could.

Jake then asked me about Monday. I looked at him quizzically at first but then he took my left hand in his.

"We can take it off you don't want to wear it to school." He said. Oh. My ring.

I didn't even have to think about it. "No, Jake. Absolutely not. I'm ready. I know no one at school will understand but that doesn't matter. They'll assume I'm pregnant, which I can deny but there will be those who won't believe me. The main thing is that we know we need each other and we love each other and having a representation of that love is important to me. I'm never taking it off." I kissed Jake tenderly. Jake, subconsciously, in hearing my rant started rubbing his hand on my stomach. Someday.

We talked a little about the wedding, neither of us in a hurry for the actual ceremony, we already knew it was more than 'till death do us part' but we were thinking maybe a year or two. I was hoping for a call from Charlie about his future plans. My most important criterion is the weather at the beach - difficult to predict, unless you know a little psychic.

I would be finding out about school soon and Jake was happy to move anywhere I wanted. Though I was really and truly considering Dartmouth. I'd be close to home, Jake could continue working at the garage and we could still live at our place. The downside would be that my parents would be there but, then again, maybe that would be ok after all. They'd see me frequently – we could do 'lunch' a couple times a week – especially if my plan of moving in with Jake works out. Harvard would be great but we'd have to move closer to school – I couldn't depend on Carlisle as a high-speed chauffeur; he has his own schedule to keep. It was still a little early – I haven't been accepted anywhere yet- but it's still good to plan ahead.

There is also a business college in town and Jake is planning to start taking a few courses, though he is certainly getting hands-on experience as it is.

Hunting and homework were also keeping us busy; Jake did the cooking all weekend while I alternated between sleep and shower. The cramps and bleeding seemed to be in the same pattern as the last two months and knowing this has been reassuring. We cuddled in bed on Saturday night after our hunt and watched a couple movies, Jake making sure I was as comfortable as possible before we drifted off to sleep.

We hunted again Sunday morning and I returned to bed, when I woke up Jake had cleaned the whole house and made us lunch. I took a long shower after lunch and was feeling a little better by mid-afternoon but Jake insisted we have another rest before heading for dinner. I really wanted to talk to my parents right away but fell asleep beside Jake almost immediately. We drove to the house around six – we certainly had a lot to talk about.

Dad answered the door and automatically shook his head. Not a good start. I'd persevere. Mom was making us spaghetti with meatballs.

"Mom?"

"Hi Ness! You OK?"

"Only because of Jake, as always. But mom, we wanted to talk with you about something. Jake and I talked about it this weekend… I want to move in with Jake."

She looked at Edward, truly in shock. I couldn't believe she wasn't actually expecting this. Edward just shook his head again. Mom dropped her shield and seemed to fire a hundred questions at Dad; he nodded and shook his head at regular intervals.

"If you're done discussing my life" I hoped my annoyance showed. "Can we talk about it out loud?"

"Ness, you need to finish school. Then we'll talk about it." Mom said.

"There's three months left in school. We're responsible. I'll study – I swear; we'll still come over for dinner on Sunday, we'll even bring take out during the week. We just can't sleep here anymore. We can't even breathe much less kiss." I knew dad heard more than 'kiss' that but I left it there. "When I go to school, we might move away." I was now strongly reconsidering Harvard – or a community college in Seattle. Or better yet Hawaii or Florida - the sunnier the better – if we stayed here maybe they'd force me to live at home. My thoughts were getting the better of me. I took Jake's hand a deep breath. You're an adult Ness, I told myself as I calmed. Talk it out.

"Dad, you already know I was thinking of Dartmouth, so Jake could stay here and work. But if we can't be together here, we can't stay. We're engaged. Dad, you have been mostly tolerant of us, wouldn't it be better if you didn't hear our thoughts at night?"

Dad had a hard time answering. "Ness, I don't want to use what I can do as a reason to drive you away. I know it's not easy for you Nessie. And I don't mean to make it harder. I do want you to choose the school you want to attend for your education and not because you're running away from me. Or from the rest of the family. Please, Nessie. Maybe your mom and I are being too hasty. OK, Jake you don't need to scream. I'm listening." I guess Jake had been throwing choice thoughts Edwards's way too.

"Edward, Bella you know how much I love Ness, I only want what's best for her and for us. I would hope you could consider the benefits where we can stay close-by, but have our own space together. It would make Ness more comfortable and me as well. We would visit whenever you want and whenever Nessie needs you. " I leaned into kiss him; at least both of us were on the same page.

Mom and dad conferred silently again. ARGGGH! _Why can't my family be normal!_

"Grades Ness – any changes and you're back here ASAP. " Dad started, and my ears perked up as I looked at Jake. His too. Was this really happening? Were they actually really listening when I want them to and not just when I try to things I try to keep to myself? Were they really treating me like an adult? I was in shock.

"You'll still have a home here, Ness. Jake too. You'll be welcome anytime. Don't worry about me or any of us. We all love you." Someone as indestructible as my dad sounding so torn was heart-wrenching. But I wasn't going to change my mind.

"Really?" It was really a stupid question. I gave them a chance to change their minds. They both nodded. Mom wiped her eyes even though there was nothing there.

Thanks dad, mom. I swear we'll be here so much you'll be sick of us." I hugged them both and gave Jake a little kiss.

That brought dad to a few more stipulations. "And Ness, pay your share" Jake started to object but I quickly said "Of course."

"Be careful." I don't think he was talking about me spraining my ankle, or something similar. I nodded.

"Call us if you need anything?"

"Always have. Always will, Dad."

No one else even weighed in. Carlisle was reading a medical journal, Esme was stirring the spaghetti sauce, Alice was setting the table. Rose and Emmett were pretending to read some car magazine from the couch but I knew they were hanging on every word. I was expecting at least a comment from Emmett but it seemed Rose had him hushed. Jasper, even in the heat of our argument hadn't worked his magic. Aside from Dad's annoying mind-reading, it had turned into a relatively human conversation and it worked out in favor for Jake and I. I couldn't believe it was really happening. Though, all things considered nights at the house were getting dicey, I was starting to wonder when Jake and I would break. Even with the threat of Emmett. Weekends were nowhere enough.

Edward eyed me and I shook my head. _We'll talk to Carlisle if we need to, Dad. Honest._ He nodded. At least I escaped a safe sex lecture in front of the whole family. Jake would thank me later. I was thinking about how he could do exactly that when Edward got up loudly to help mom serve our dinner. Oops.

We ate supper and talked logistics. Our place certainly wasn't big enough for all my stuff (thanks to Alice's persistent shopping habits), so I was just going to take a few more things but, my room would always be here – I think dad mentioned this at least six times so I'd remember the stipulation about grades but I was also oddly comforted that my family still wanted me around. I hugged everyone.

Jake brought up our next topic of conversation "Emmett, I think I've found a replacement for the receptionist…" He mentioned 'her' work ethic, outgoing nature, and willingness to learn. After his speech I would have hired me. Dad eyed me but didn't say anything even after Jake finished talking about 'the possible new hire.' Then Emmett spoke up.

"Sure, she sounds perfect. Call her for an interview. And we'll need to set up training though it sounds as though she should catch on quickly. And she's going to school in September, right? That's when Raelynn is back so it works out well, I hate letting people go."

"Yeah, I know" Jake agreed. "Good thing or you would have fired me long ago. You know, I think I'll call this new girl right now."

My phone rang.

Emmett caught on. "Very clever, Jake. Ness, you're hired. Come by tomorrow – Jake will set you up on payroll." And of course he couldn't forget. "No hanky panky at the garage!"

Emmett and Jake continued to talk business; the new hoist that was so important three weeks ago was finally arriving this Tuesday afternoon. I had a few choice thoughts about this but didn't want to antagonize my new boss. Emmett also told Jake he and Rose were leaving mid-April for an extended vacation so he'd be making sure Jake had everything he needed to manage the whole operation before he was gone. Jake asked about the new mechanic but there didn't seem to be any qualified applicants. When Emmett told me my skills were better than all of the applicants so far Jake looked a little concerned but didn't say anything. I hoped there would be someone hired before both Emmett and Rosalie took off because, if not, it wouldn't matter where I was living: Jake would never be home.

"Jake if you need any help, just call – I'm no Rosalie but I manage. Bella and I are done school pretty soon." Dad spoke up. And I started to tear, Dad helping Jake so we would have time together, who would have ever thought?

 _Thanks, Dad_ I thought as Jake wiped my eyes with his shirt.

I did have one more question, this one for Carlisle. "Carlisle, how would I go about volunteering at the clinic?"

"I can grab you an application or you can ask at reception. They always need help. I think you need to commit to four or five hours a week. You're sure you'll have time, Ness?"

"Not until school is out. But I should have a weekend afternoon free during the summer, Jake will need to talk to the pack anyway. I'll drop in tomorrow. Thanks, grandpa."

I was yawning and looking at Jake. But before I could say anything Alice piped up, "Ness, do we get to talk about the wedding?" She was in her element.

"No date yet, Alice. But I do know where. It's special, home for Jake, and me too, someday. La Push, First Beach. I need you to find us a date so you can all be there either next summer or the following one – we haven't decided yet."

"La Push?" Rosalie asked, worried.

"Rose, you're all invited. Jake has fixed it with Sam and Billy." I said. Edward wasn't surprised but everyone else certainly was. Carlisle was grateful to Jake for this significant act.

"Dress, shoes, caterer, flowers…" Alice was humming to herself.

"Alice, we will let you know. And we will be appreciative of all your help."

"Nessie, I need time! There will be so many things I can't see. You. The wolves."

"Can you see Charlie and Sue, Alice? Tell me when." She finally understood why we weren't committing and sat stone-still for a good five minutes.

When she finally came to all she did was smile a wicked smile. She knew.

"The summer after for Jake and I. I want them to have their day."

Alice nodded and then nothing. A few minutes later she said "Got it. You're getting married!" I was tempted to know what date had been set, but didn't ask.

We decided to take my stuff over tomorrow and walked up to my room for bed. This was presumably our last night at the house. Jake waited until we were snuggled in bed. "We're moving home," he said as he held me. Tangible. Together. We didn't talk about the wedding. That can wait.


	34. Chapter 33: Together

Together

At school, Monday, no one noticed my left hand until we sat down at lunch. Then all of a sudden I hear "Ness, is that a diamond?"

"Yes."

The lunch table hushed.

"You're pregnant?" someone called. Seriously? I couldn't figure out who it was to glare.

"NO! Engaged. Over spring break." Of course, everyone wanted details so I told them he proposed on the beach and that, of course, I said yes.

No one could believe I'd want to be married so young, even though I told them it likely wouldn't be until next year or even the following year. Then more pregnancy questions began which I denied. The rest of the afternoon everyone was either looking at my hand or my belly. It didn't matter.

After school I swung by the clinic for the application before heading to the garage and Jake had me fill out all the paperwork for my official hiring. Raelynn showed me around and I got a feel for the office. The phone rang twice and I listened as she booked appointments. It seemed easy enough. Then she told me about calling regarding work needed, costs, delays, some snippy customers and it sounded like I'd be earning my keep. Jake was working late because of one of the delays but there was an extra desk in the office. Raelynn let me study while I waited and I also completed the volunteer application planning to ask both Carlisle and my biology teacher for references.

After school I went home and packed. Everyone came to say a 'private' goodbye. Esme could have been in tears and talked of missing me, I had to reassure her I wasn't far. Carlisle did the same, though as my doctor as well as my grand-father he repeated his safe sex talk, which in the clinic with Jake was all well and good, while my parents listened on, not so much. I reassured him we'd figured it out but I'm not sure he was all that reassured. Emmett decided he'd miss my racing heart and Jake's; even remarking we kept the same rhythm all the time – for Emmett I thought it was sweet and something I hadn't even noticed. Rose and Jake had mended some fences since I'd been born and hiring him at the garage had been Jake finally winning her over. She likely knew it was only a matter of time before Jake and I got together but didn't put up barriers. My second mom and she was having a hard time letting go. I hoped I could show her I was happy and that it was a good move. Alice was untamed and worried about my wardrobe – she promised we'd go shopping soon. Jasper could tell how happy I was and just wished me well. I hoped it wouldn't be too much harder on him at the hospital without my scent in the house to acclimatize him every day. Bella and Edward were last, mom held me as tightly as she dared and Dad did the same. Then, Dad carried my last suitcase to my car and it somehow seemed heavy for him. That's when I really knew he wanted me to stay, despite everything. I clung to them both with tears, a little saddened to leave home, but certain in my future with Jake. For our first two weeknights at home we stuck to tradition and slept in our clothes as necessity dictated. Wednesday night, however, was different story and our hearts raced together most of the night.

Jake arrived at school for lunch on Thursday to a grilling from my friends and handled himself well talking about love and commitment.

"Meet you at home?" He asked and I nodded.

"I'll bring dinner. I love you." he got up and kissed me with longing. The lunch crowd noticed the kiss as well as his question. I couldn't deny we were living together now and of course that brought up more pregnancy questions. I did tell them that Bella and Edward did like Jake but they also thought we were rushing things. It was nice to be able to tell the truth.

I worked on homework until Jake came home with Chinese and we had fun trying to feed each other with chopsticks. Needless to say we were both a little sticky (with sweet and sour sauce) when we opened our fortune cookies. Mine said 'Bonds of love are eternal' and Jake's 'The strength of the pack is the wolf and the strength of the wolf is the pack". I couldn't help looking at the little pieces of paper with wonder and put them on the fridge with magnets for future reference. I even wondered if Jake had put the fortunes in himself but decided not to ask. We kissed still sticky which led to us stepping out of the shower an hour later both with a little glow. I was keen to go straight to bed again and tried to pull him with me. Jake put me to task. "Homework, study." He barely got the words out through kisses but he was right.

I did what I could until ten, even reviewing for a test the following week. There would be no way I'd give my parents any reason to yank me back home, good thing Jake was thinking along those same lines. Though being alone with Jake near our bed did have my thoughts drift to biology and chemistry that had nothing to do with my classes. Jake managed all the clean-up, laundry and even pulled out the garage manual and started making notes.

I told Jake I'd head to the house after school the following day, not be a stranger – he knew he'd have another long day and said he'd meet me at home. I already told him to talk to Emmett but he wouldn't as he felt Emmett might lose confidence in him. When I got to the house everyone was so excited to see me – it had only been four days. I got them caught up with my adventures and asked Carlisle for a reference, he didn't hesitate. When I dropped off the application at the clinic the following day the manager couldn't wait to show me around once she found out I was related to Dr. Cullen – no references needed. I was scheduled for my orientation mid-June after exams, which was perfect.

Throughout the next month I started organizing the office and helping Jake where I could after school. I figured it could only help me once Raelynn had left for the summer. She occasionally let me answer the phone and handle any walk-ins. Even though initially friendly she'd taken a turn the last couple weeks, something I didn't understand until I mentioned going to school in the fall. She breathed a sigh of relief and apologised but was worried she would be let go thinking we were going to keep it all in the family. I reassured her and she was much more relaxed. When Emmett came by to give Raelynn a handshake the day before he and Rose were leaving for Chile, he also gave her a bonus. She was thrilled! He shook my hand too and gave me a paycheck – I was in shock both that his hand was warm (maybe he held it on a car engine?) and that I was already getting paid.

"Emmett…" I tried to give the check back.

"No Ness, you've earned it. I actually think we probably should have been paying you long ago for what you do around here. Edward will help Jake out here while you're in school, don't worry. Keep studying. See you tonight – Rose and I are headed out first thing tomorrow. Alone at last." He sighed. Having slept in that house I could understand his jubilation.

I promised him we'd be there, though by the time Jake finished and showered it was after six.

Alice had put together a party. I would say little party but that doesn't compute. It was still just the 10 of us but there was enough food for 20 and as only Jake and I partake, we were going to be eating a lot of leftovers. There were streamers, balloons, party hats (everyone wore one except Rose) and cake. I asked them both why they were going to Chile but neither could give a decent answer. Emmett mentioned something about wrestling a great white but I thought they were more abundant in Australia. All I asked is that they make sure to know about the endangered species in the area. I don't want them to be responsible for the extinction of a species. They promised.

I was going to miss them, even Emmett's antics. I gave Emmett and Rosalie one last kiss before Jake and I headed home wishing them well in their travels. Jake got a few last minute details about the garage but no last minute mechanic other than Edward so trouble would not be far behind.

The next couple of weeks were more than I ever dreamed. I went to school and studied, meeting Jake after school at the garage to help out before we headed home. Jake worked, we cooked (or grabbed take out) and cleaned together, but most of all enjoyed having the apartment to ourselves every night. There was rarely a night a spark didn't ignite and usually we were in bed by ten (after homework, of course). We still visited the house for Sunday dinner and I usually went over one evening during the week to both assure my family I was doing well and to ensure they didn't check on me at our place. On one visit to the house about six weeks after I'd officially moved out I was feeling a little dejected - everyone seemed to have adapted to my absence rather quickly, there was nothing to snack on in the fridge and only the bathroom in my room had any toilet paper. I cleaned my old room because it was getting dusty then lounged on my bed.

Edward knocked and came to sit down with me. He knew, of course, and just put his arm around me. "We do miss you, Ness. Don't think otherwise. But I know I can't make you come home even though I want to. You're growing up, Ness. I will promise we'll grab groceries and whatever you need so if you want to stay, you can. Both you and Jake."

I just gave Dad a hug. _Thanks, Dad._


	35. Chapter 34: The Best Medicine

The Best Medicine

In the middle of May Alice was scheming. I could see her mind working but didn't process it. She accosted Jake and I on an afternoon visit and carried us both upstairs – one under each arm. Jake shook but didn't phase – he was worried about hurting me, not Alice, he told me later. She let us down in my room; me in front of a gorgeous teal chiffon gown with a crystal beaded bodice and Jake in front of a designer tuxedo that even on the rack looked smoking hot.

"You're going to prom, try them on" she said as she closed the door behind us.

"No. Alice!" I called, she heard me but I knew my pleas were in vain.

"Jake, it's alright; I didn't get tickets."

"I did!" Alice called from downstairs.

At this point Jake and I knew there was no wriggling out of this one. She would dress us like paper dolls and carry us to prom if we didn't go along. We relented and helped each other into our respective formal attire. If the tux looked fab on the hanger it was even more amazing on Jake. I caressed every line before I reached for him and took him in my arms, curling around his body. At that second Alice knocked once and walked right in.

"Oops!" Alice knew exactly what she was doing. "Well they look great and it seems like they have the desired effect. Now put them back before you rip them. Prom's on Friday!" she flitted back out of the room.

It took us a few minutes to comply as we stared at Alice's perfect choices for each other.

"Now guys!" She called from downstairs "It can wait for prom night. Oh, hi, Edward." She said the last sentence a little too loudly to be believable but it did the trick. I tried to curtail my thoughts of ravaging Jake on my bed behind us and as he glanced there too his thoughts couldn't have been much different than mine.

"Unzip Jake?" he ran his finger down my spine as he unzipped the gown and Edward or no Edward my thoughts were firmly on Jake and what he could do to my body. He didn't ask but I started to unbutton the jacket and then his shirt, standing in my bra and panties. I pulled both off of him and hung them on their respective hangers. I caressed his back and chest while he caressed mine. I pulled away and went to undo his pants when Jake shook his head, closing his eyes. I nodded and went to get dressed. Alice would be very upset if anything needed dry-cleaning. Edward wasn't home, it turned out, when we got downstairs. Jake would have waited but I used the study excuse and took Jake home undressing him in the car on the way. We fell onto the couch but Jake had the good sense to carry me to the bedroom where we had our condoms.

Friday came before we knew it and this time Alice made me dress in her room. I could guarantee from our fitting session we would not have made it to prom otherwise. Jake was already at the bottom of the stairs and now I understood the other piece of Alice's rationale. I tried to hold myself back but I wound up running down the stairs into Jake's outstretched arms – he was perfect. Alice had hired a stretch limo for us, a wonderful gesture but it also meant we had time commitments. Alice took photos of Jake and I, and mom and dad and all of us together. We even managed to get a whole family photo. Alice handed me a clutch and I knew what was inside. When we arrived at the party we were the center of attention. Everyone asked us about our attire and the limo. The few who hadn't asked about our engagement yet were curious, yet suspicious. We danced a few slow dances but if we had to do anything but sway, both Jake and I sat out. The lights and music were bright and pounding, but Alice was right about one thing. It was a very special night; we used everything from the clutch in the limo nowhere close to fully undressed and continued long into the night back at our place. I sent the dress and tux for dry-cleaning the following day.

A week later I received conditional acceptance to every school to which I applied. I was thinking of a little private celebration with Jake but he wouldn't have it. He called Alice and an hour later we arrived at the house to everyone's congratulations. Alice went all out on such short notice. They had managed to Skype Charlie and Sue as well as Emmett and Rosalie. Esme baked me a cake and mom was in the middle of making roasted chicken. Emmett and Rosalie told us they were having a great time chasing blue whales to the depths (they swore they wouldn't bite one) and Emmett did find a few 'playful' great white sharks – one bit Emmett straight across his torso but only managed to lose all its teeth. Good thing they grow back. They were catching a few Red Stag as well as some puma but Emmett says the endangered deer, the pudu, is the smallest deer on earth – about the size of a medium breed dog – and not worth the trouble. Sue and Charlie wanted to know if I'd decided on a school. I told them that I was still leaning towards Dartmouth but also considering Harvard. I told them both that once I'd made a firm decision I'd let them know. Their news was better – they both said yes! I nearly jumped for joy. My not-so-subtle matchmaking had them planning to propose to each other the same night. And they said they were working on a date. We knew Alice already had it under control. Mom also offered her congrats before they logged off.

We ate dinner and dessert and I asked for both recipes. We were getting take-out way too much at home between studying and working and school and each other there was little time to cook and shop. It did occur to me that I was now accepting nutritional advice from vampires and made a mental note to try a little harder in the kitchen. After we ate Jake called Billy who had already heard all the news from Charlie – good news travels fast. When we got home Jake did interest me in a private celebration of our own.

Before I knew it exams were done and school was over. I was sure I aced everything. I'd spent more time studying since moving in with Jake than I ever had at home and my grades were a little higher to reflect my extra work. All my classmates were jubilant at having survived 12 years in public school but to me it was bittersweet. Maybe I'll come back and do high school again in a few years. Get the full feel of four years with the same group, Jake could too, though I'm not completely sure he'd pass for a ninth grader, maybe we could do just a couple years. It would be fun pretending we just met, falling in love all over again. I shivered with anticipation at the thoughts. Right now I had two nearly schedule-free weeks before I was full-time at the garage. In the interim I was booked for my orientation at the clinic on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for the next two weeks and then I'd opted for a Saturday afternoon shift so Jake and I could sleep late after our work week. I'd have to arrange something on the Saturdays I couldn't be there.

Rather than be idle in my now free time I painted the apartment a brighter neutral and did all the laundry and cooking and cleaning so Jake and I could relax in the evening. And we didn't need to rely on take-out. I did help out at the garage in the afternoon making sure I knew my role when Raelynn was gone for the summer and did many of the oil changes for the day so Jake could leave on time.

I was nervous on my first day of orientation at the clinic but it turns out I didn't need to be. The first Tuesday I started early and ran into Carlisle as he was leaving having worked all night. He had a short summer session at Harvard but was home more often, as such Esme's progress on the garden had slowed. Carlisle introduced me around, and as I'd already said at school he was my grand-father, we had some explaining to do in case it came back to bite us. We went the adoption route again, that my dad and Edward were adopted and conveniently married sisters (I look too much like mom to make it work any other way), when my parents died, they took me in. Carlisle even managed some 'tears' (he dabbed his eyes, anyway) as he talked about my parents passing but it wasn't too far from the truth.

It's a very busy clinic run primarily on private donations. They do typical walk-in appointments, immunization programs, well-baby clinics, women's health and pregnancy, minor treatment and urgent care for sprains, cuts and some broken bones. And since Carlisle started it wasn't a coincidence that there was a new mobile blood donation clinic that came to the site. It was a little overwhelming at first but the doctors and nurses were very welcoming. I got on well with everyone and by the end of the day was starting to feel moderately useful – I could at least direct people to the washroom. By the end of the first week I could stock supplies, direct patients to appointments, and clean and tidy the waiting area. I learned about the biohazard containers and disposal areas, isolation precautions for illness and the proper safety equipment to use for body fluid clean-ups. The nurses taught me how to take vital signs and I did this for a lot of new clients. They also showed me how to draw blood. I wouldn't be able to do it of course, unless Carlisle let me practice on Jake at the house. The nurses had a different idea.

"Carlisle might let you practice on him, you should ask." I had a feeling they were darn keen to see Dr. Cullen with his shirt off and my reply was a little stilted,

"Uh, he doesn't really like needles." I'd have to ask Carlisle what else to say as I'm sure he has dealt with his share of admirers. I didn't know what to say if someone wanted to practice on me but I knew that couldn't happen either.

The following week I found out about the teen counselling program. It seemed up my alley but was a big commitment with regards to training. I didn't know if I'd have time between work now and school next year. I was pretty much up to speed with my duties so was left to my own devises to ask questions during my shifts the following week. The manager didn't mind in the least that I moved my Saturday shift to Wednesday, it seemed they need more hands any day of the week. At the baby clinics I found my niche. The parent or parents usually had other kids in tow vying for attention, I would offer a few minutes of reprieve to the parent or harried nurse and read a story or bring out crayons for an added distraction. There wasn't always time for play, however, the clinic was so short-staffed and underfunded that I was cleaning exam rooms between patients, restocking and being an extra hand and gopher for minor surgeries. I was having the time of my life and making a difference – I had it in my blood.


	36. Chapter 35: Working Relationship

**Working Relationship**

 **A/N: If blood makes you queasy, this isn't the chapter for you. But then, why are you reading a story about vampires? Rated M for many reasons.**

The following Monday was my official first day of work at the garage. Jake woke and tried not to disturb me but I shot awake.

"Jake, I can't be late on my first day of work."

"You had another rough weekend. I'll cover."

"You're by yourself!" I forced myself to get up and shower and change. The cramping and blood had dissipated considerably but I still need my supplies. One of my first orders of business will be to clean the garage bathroom – again. And make it female friendly. I had to spend 10 minutes cleaning the toilet last time I was there and needed to make a trip and I still just hovered over the seat. When I was ready to leave the house before Jake, he conceded.

In a few minutes he'd be my boss. I kissed him delicately tasting his lips and he did the same to me, caressing my cheek before breaking it off. I raced him to the garage, beating him by 10 minutes. I cleaned the lot while I waited. We would also need to decorate outdoors; the dead flowers and garbage did nothing for the aesthetic.

As soon as I saw him coming I wiped my hands on my jeans.

"Hi!" I called. "I'm Ness. You must be Jake. I'm a little nervous, it's my first day." He played along.

"Jacob Black, nice to meet you."

We settled in and I pulled out the work orders for the day. To my surprise, I really was nervous. This is my first job after all. And there was a lot at stake. Jacob felt he had something to prove to Emmett. I didn't want to let Jake down. We opened the overnight box. A few customers had dropped their keys in the overnight slot. Many garages refuse to have these nifty little boxes but it's good for business if you can drop your car off when the garage is closed. The problem usually comes as a smash and grab and thieves can help themselves to the keys and available cars. These thieves have not met Emmett or Rosalie. They sourced the toughest materials on the market and had a lot of fun practicing making an 'unbreakable' box. The one that's installed right now takes Emmett a full five seconds to get into. That would be longer than a lifetime for the average human. There's three keys. Jake has one, now I have one and one is locked in the office safe. And you need all three to open the box. I never asked them what it cost to develop this device – I'm sure they did it for the challenge and not the added profit.

The phone was already ringing and I booked appointments, answered questions or took messages for Jake to return if the question was beyond my car skills. At lunch I asked Jake If he wanted anything and ran for sandwiches and milkshakes. After lunch I finally had time to tackle the bathroom. Many years of grease made it a daunting task but in between phone calls I got it to sparkle. I planned to buy a little stand to stash bathroom items including extra toilet paper. Do guys not care if it runs out? Also it needs a new door sign- the faded sticker with the familiar stick male symbol is so passé. And the lock, one of those hook and eye things usually present in outhouses, has got to go. And most people have heard of shower curtains. The hooks were still there but the curtain, long gone. Throughout the day I asked Jake if there was anything I was missing, he kept saying no but I didn't know if he was being polite. That is not typically Jake. He seemed tense.

At the end of the day we locked up and headed home, picking up a few groceries. I showered then I made a salad and grilled chicken, as well as sandwiches for lunch the next day.

I sat on the couch after dinner and Jake joined me, but there was something off.

"What's wrong, Jake?"

"I don't know if I should kiss you."

"What?"

"Well…I've been thinking about it all day and I really want to do this." He pulled me up into his arms and kissed my forehead and cheeks, making his way to my ears and neck before taking my mouth in his. Our tongues jostled playfully and my nipples hardened in anticipation. He pulled off my shirt and caressed my shoulders as his finger slowly traced around my breast to my nipple. I whimpered. He pulled gently on my nipple as he caressed it back and forth between his forefinger and thumb. Our lips separated as his tongue and lips began sucking my nipples to stiff peaks. I was arching, heat building. He teased each nipple with his teeth and tongue, I panted. I could see Jake bulging through his jeans and reached up to feel his hardness which lit a new fire. He moaned and his continued his tease with a renewed urgency. As I cried, "Oh, Jake, please" he pressed into me and even though our garments he could feel me shudder. "Don't stop, Jake" I said, as I lay in bliss. He continued the flicking of his tongue on my nipple and soft caresses as I was paralysed with delight.

"That was quite the kiss Jake."

"That's not all I want to do."

He undid the button and zipper on my jeans but then I stopped him.

"Not yet Jake."

He picked me up, carried me and stood me in the middle of the bathroom.

"Lock the door if you don't want me." He kissed the back of my neck and ran his hand down my spine before he left closing the door behind him.

I ran to the door and locked it. We couldn't, could we? Two days then he could have all of me. I got ready to shower again. Right before I entered the stall, I unlocked the door. I turned on the shower and let the warm water caress me. I took too much body wash and scrubbed until the pink bubbles made their way down the drain. I stood facing away from the door but heard the jostle of the handle. Jake. I could hear his clothing fall to the floor but I didn't turn to look. He opened the shower door and put his hand on my shoulder. He put the unopened wrappers in the soap dish and nuzzled at my neck.

"Jake. Mmmm…" he pulled me into his arms and I could feel his swollen penis on my derriere. He swept his hand across my nipples and traveled toward my waist and hips between my legs, gently spreading me apart. Nervousness at new experiences seems to be today's theme. He found my sensitive nub and rolled it between his fingers. I cried out. Jake continued to massage below. I thrust into him begging for more. I pull his hand to mine caressing and washing as I turn to face him.

"Ness, If you don't want…"

"I want you. But…"

"Shh, Ness. It's only a little blood." It wasn't what he said, but how he said it. Confident, Jake's heartbeat still even. He never hears the word without a tension, a plan to phase and to me protect at a moment's notice; today, he's complete in control.

I nodded, nervous, but safe. Jake unwrapped protection and I rolled it on as he sucked my collarbone. We both moaned. He entered slowly, I squeezed then relaxed for him to fill me. Sigh. Jake pressed me against the tile and thrust. I was sensitive and felt the heat immediately. I didn't mean to beg.

"Please Jake, faster, oh!" I'd never reached climax so hard and fast. He held me as he continued plunging into my quaking form towards his own release.

"OH, Jake!" I cried as he climaxed with me this time.

We held each other still connected under the running water. When we finally uncoupled Jake continued to kiss me as he soaped us up and we washed. The water ran pink, then clear.

He continued his caress but knew I'd need a few minutes "Ness, I'll be waiting in bed." Jake grabbed a towel and left me to dress and take care of business.

When I crawled into bed, Jake kissed me wondering if I'd consider doing that again sometime. I nodded, now shy. Since when was I shy with Jake? I lay prone somewhere between wake and sleep with Jake caressing my back as I tipped into a peaceful slumber.

The next day I woke early and showered. Jake wasn't awake yet but I made pancake batter and started the coffee and sausages. He stirred. I ran to kiss him.

"Good morning, Jake. Shower, breakfast is almost ready." Then I went back to the kitchen to tend to breakfast.

He walked over to me in the buff and pulled me backwards into his arms just like in the shower "Good morning." He kissed my neck playfully, I nearly melted but guided him to the shower and left him there, alone. I kissed him willing for him to understand.

"Hurry Jake 5 minutes."

I finished up breakfast and Jake was sauntering out of the shower. Carrying the towel.

He was doing nothing to help my resolve.

"Jake. Eat. It's ten to eight!" He sat in the buff and dug in. I picked out clothes for him and lay them on the bed. I grabbed shoes and my coat.

"Jake. Your clothes are on the bed. Please give me the keys. I'm going to open." He pointed at our key rack. "Oh, Jake, I love you." I kissed him. He's acting strange again. There was nothing I could do. "Please hurry."

I got in and opened up. There was a walk-in as soon as I opened the door, I added the car to the roster and pulled the other work orders for today's appointments.

Jake finally sauntered in at quarter after eight.

"Hi." I said shyly. Now I was acting odd, but I got down to business and told him about the day's schedule.

At lunch I swung by the hardware store and found some industrial pieces for the bathroom as well as a dual gender sticker, a shower curtain and a fancy new lock. I also bought some paint and a paint brush for the door. We brought out our sandwiches in the make-shift lunch room and, looking around, I knew this would be my next project. We talked about work and I finally pulled out of him that the supply order I was supposed to send was due yesterday. Crap! I finished lunch and left Jake eating while I did work I should have done the day before. When that was done, I asked Jake again…if I was missing anything…of course not. I went through Raelynn's notes…nada. I felt confident to paint the bathroom door and stock the new shelves. I'd put the lock and new door sign on when the paint dried. At four I asked Jake if he'd be ready in an hour. He hesitated. Looking at the four work orders still on the desk I wanted to shake him.

"Jake, do you mind if I do the two oil changes? We can almost get home on time if I help."

"Sure, thanks, Ness" he flashed me the smile I love, his first one all day.

I finished the two cars at five, right before scheduled pick-up. I processed the payments and found Jake. He said he was nearly done with an alternator and we'd call it quits.

As soon as we got in the door that night we finished the leftovers then we sat on the couch. Jake started to repeat his thorough kiss from yesterday but for once I stopped him before my resolve melted.

"Jake. Talk to me. You won't give me any work to do at work. I'm on my own. And then we get home, you're determined to show me how you can wrap me around your little finger – and my-oh-my how it worked yesterday. Would it be better if I quit? Do you not want me at the garage?"

"No! Ness. I need you."

"Then tell me why you won't act like my boss. Give me some direction. I'm in the dark Jake."

"I'm sorry, Ness. I'm just not used to asking you for things. It's against my nature to boss you around."

"Jake I'm not asking to be your slave, I'm asking for a little support – some guidance and direction while I figure out my new job."

"You're doing fine."

"Fine. Great – I'm better than that Jake. So are you and so is the garage. You want your own garage someday you're going to need to let your employees know what is needed. You always asked Raelynn for coffee, an oil filter, to take out the trash. I'm just asking for the same treatment."

"But it's you. I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you, you already give me everything I need."

"Why is it different than here. We communicate, we cooperate – you do the laundry, I do the dishes. I cook, you clean, whatever, it works. We certainly have no difficulties in the bedroom…or in the shower." I paused and remembered and even sighed but I tried not to lose my focus. I almost forgot I was angry. "The problem is at the garage I can't do what you do – I don't know a strut from a hubcap, or close. Jake if we work as a team there like we do here we'll be more efficient which translates into more business and more profit."

"Which will still never be enough."

"IS THIS ABOUT MONEY JAKE?" I was starting to get furious. "It doesn't matter and you know it! And don't you dare pull that card that that's the thing rich people say. You're doing what you love. You've been building cars and trucks and motorbikes since before you could walk. Share your knowledge with me, Jake, I want to be a part of it. I swear if you ask me to do something and I don't know how to do or if I don't have time I will tell you. And if I'm overbooking or under booking you, messing up whatever it is that I do I want you to be honest so I can learn. We need to work together, it's what we do best."

"I'm so sorry, Ness. I was thinking it would be easier for you and me at home if I wasn't asking you for things at work. Though I can see it's just made you more frustrated and upset. I'll try to do better. I can. And I'll see if I can at least teach you one thing every day. OK? And if I'm being too demanding or anything, please tell me I don't want you to feel unappreciated. I love everything you do. I love you."

I had to hug him "And I love you."

He kissed me then asked "So, was that our first fight?"

"Yeah, I guess it was." Our first fight as a couple anyway.

"I hear there's something people term make-up sex."

"I'm still…"

"I know." He took me to the shower.

When we woke up the next morning Jake was his usual self again. He made me breakfast and we even left for work early, together. He first showed me what struts were and hung a hub cap in the reception area so I couldn't mix them up again. He was being facetious and I had a sudden urge to kiss him but filed that away for tonight remembering Emmett's rules. The door chimed and I was brought back to reality, I told Jake I'd bring him his paperwork and he left me to deal with the new customer. I got Jake his work orders. I looked at our schedule for the week and noticed it was filling up quickly. I finished the door to the bathroom and also scrubbed and reorganized the lunch room. I figured a little couch for relaxation might be nice but I'd wait until Raelynn returns. Jake and I wouldn't do well with a couch at the office. Emmett and his rules. Summer road trips mean auto-maintenance so I was helping Jake out with a few what were supposed to be simple projects. In addition to my skills at the oil change and tire change I learned to replace an air filter, fix a simple flat and I started to learn how to replace headlight bulbs. You would really think changing a lightbulb is straightforward, but no, whoever designed some cars decided to put the access behind the battery, so what should take thirty seconds takes thirty minutes. Go figure. At least I was learning. The rest of the week was how it should have been. Jake relaxed, I relaxed and after that the garage turned into a well-oiled machine.

I headed to my first real shift at the clinic on Saturday but the orientation prepared me well. No real surprises, but always busy and I was pulled in so many different directions. The problem I was having had nothing to do with my job description. The problem was that most of the nurses and a few of the doctors were still bugging me about Carlisle. A lot. And I was at a loss. They asked about blood draws and his shoe size and I certainly had no desire to talk about either one – for very different reasons. Jake had talked to the pack and Claire was down with a summer cold, Quil was concerned. Mike was still on our mind but he hadn't called Charlie again, thank goodness. By the time Sunday dinner rolled around I was eager to see my family, surprisingly eager.

"How's the clinic?" Carlisle asked.

"It's good" I said slowly. I didn't know how to tell him. "I'm learning a lot but…"

"What is it, Ness?"

"The nurses are considering asking you if I can practice drawing your blood. And when the residents think I'm not listening it's even worse" I admitted, blushing slightly. "I have hinted that you're married – happily and they already know I'm your granddaughter for crying out loud!"

"Not again." He grumbled, turning to Esme brushing his lips with hers. I looked away. It was somehow too intimate. They did not show their affection in public. "I hate asking again, but would you mind if I introduced you around?"

"If it makes you feel better, dear."

"Not me. You know, Ness. She seems little uncomfortable."

"Of course, dear. I want to meet my competition." Esme looked a little like a shy school girl until Carlisle pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"There's never been competition and never will be." He kissed Esme's neck and at that I was quick with another question. I was starting to think Jake and I would call it an early night.

"Grandpa, what should I say if they want to practice on me for blood draws?" I asked.

"Well, I have at times said I have hemophilia. But it's x-linked – afflicting males. You can have VWD type 3, also a clotting disorder but present in both men and women . They won't draw your blood if you're in danger of bleeding out. In my case it's not too far from the truth really. The orgin of the word heme – blood, and then philia - taking an abnormal liking of. Go figure."

"Good one, Carlisle." I said. I'd google the VW whatever at home and keep the lie for an emergency. The problem with lies is remembering them all.

After dinner Jake and I cleared the table and started the kitchen clean-up. Esme thanked us for coming and told us to make sure to take all the leftovers (we always do, but she was looking at Carlisle and seemed a little distracted). When she took Carlisle's hand they said an early goodnight and headed upstairs. Jake and I finished cleaning the kitchen and bid everyone goodnight with utmost haste.


	37. Chapter 36: Leah's Call

**Leah's Call**

Monday was busy. The phone was ringing off the hook and we had a bunch of walk-ins as well. There seemed to be a run on car problems and our schedule was filling up. I was even eating lunch at my desk, Jake had only had time for a quick bite too since he had just received three parts that had been delayed in transit and the vehicles needed to be ready today. Just after lunch my phone rang. Not the office phone but mine. Everyone knew I was at the garage. I looked. Leah? I pressed accept.

'Ness. It's Leah. Look, Seth ran into Mike. He can't get a hold of Jake to talk with him."

"What? Shit! Jake's here. I'm working with him at the garage for the summer. What happened? "

"Seth ran into Mike at the grocery store. Mike grilled him about you and Jake. And I mean grilled. Like how long you've been together, where you met, what you thought of Forks, if he thought you'd be back. It sounded horrible. I don't know what's up with this idiot. Seth told Mike your name but was smart enough not to say your last name or where you're living. He says he acted like he doesn't know Jake all that well – I gotta give it to the kid. He said he doesn't know where you are but basically said he'd e-mail Jake to tell him Mike was looking for him. Mike apparently threatened him to do so and nearly punched him. Seth was so scared, said he nearly phased. Mike was really, really angry. What exactly did you do to him again?"

"Met him. Big mistake. He went to school with Bella and Edward, Leah. He knows there's something fishy. He called Charlie. If we don't nip this in the bud there could be some dire consequences. I'll have Jake give Seth a call."

"Ness, how quickly you forget. Have him phase – Jake will know exactly what happened. "

Will do. He's under a Suburban right now. I'll wait until he's done. He'll freak. Any other news – Charlie and Sue – that's good, right?

Yeah, I'm happy for mom, Charlie's a great guy. We'll be like sisters, kinda…"

"Sure. The kind that are not related and usually mortal enemies type sisters."

"You got me Ness. I'm working on things. "

"Does this mean, Charlie will know everything?"

I don't think they've conferred with Jake yet. My gut is mom doesn't want to tell him."

I don't think Charlie really wants to know either and Bella certainly thinks it's a bad idea. But I'll ask Jake to call Billy and Sam. How are your new plans working out?"

I haven't phased since you left. So that's what…three and a half months. There's no precedent for me though so I don't know how long… it seems counter intuitive but I'm really looking forward to that time of the month again. I know I used to hate it but…"

"…it's a positive sign. Yeah, that's what I tell myself too – when I'm in agony. "

"Jake has been perfect for you, Ness. He sure takes care of you. And vice versa."

"Leah, I forget you know everything; I block it out to keep my sanity, just like with my family. But yeah, he's the only one. You'll see, someday when you least expect it, it will happen for you again too."

"Better to have loved and lost…I've been told but I really don't think that's the case." bitter Leah was re-emerging.

"Hopefully some normalcy in your life will be good for you. I do have to tell you though that Edward will probably fly in. I hope it doesn't set you back, but we need to know what Mike is thinking."

"I understand Ness. I was there; I want no part of any more Volturi visits. I'll be fine, whatever happens."

"That's what I told your mom."

"What?"

"Charlie and Sue. I kinda hinted…well maybe more than hinted." She could almost see my grin through the phone.

"Thanks, Ness, for giving them the nudge in the right direction."

"I got the nudge myself from Claire."

'She will be so happy to know that…especially when she's older."

"I'll definitely show her. It was really sweet."

Thanks for the talk. I should call when there isn't a crisis. Have Edward call Seth if he wants to arrange another 'run in' with Mike. That might be the best plan. And have Jake call Sam about mom and Charlie." Her voice didn't falter as much as usual when she said Sam's name. She is getting better – it's just been way too many years. I briefly thought of Jake and wondered if it would have been the same for him if I hadn't come along. I shouldn't go there.

"Will do. Thanks again, Leah."

Conveniently, just as I hung up the office phone rang three times for bookings. I just got the last appointment in the system when Jake stepped in.

"How's everything, Ness?"

"Office-wise, great. Twenty bookings today for the rest of this week and into next week. Supplies ordered and the part for the VW will be here by tomorrow."

"And?"

"Not here, Jake." I was shaking my head. My whole body was probably shaking.

"Hell. Not. Come here." He sensed something was really wrong, stood me up and held me. Then he pulled me into the back room. "What's wrong?" It was easier to show him the call with Leah. He kissed me.

"We'll get through this. I'll talk with Seth see what else happened. As soon as we close up I'll get the real scoop. Call Edward – have him book the flight. We need more intel on Mike."

"Intel, Jake? Is this the FBI?" I joked as I was comforted in his arms. That broke the tension and he started to part my lips with his tongue. Just then I heard the door chime. "Shit, Jake." I grabbed an oil filter off the shelf. "Stay here." I whispered.

I exited closing the door behind me.

"Hi. How can I help you? The customer wanted an oil change I booked it immediately even though I knew Jake didn't have time. I'd do it myself. I told the customer to be back in an hour. She was very happy about the efficient service and left her keys. Jake opened the door once she'd left.

"Ness, you're crazy. Call Edward."

"We can't let Emmett down. We'll see Edward tonight. It would be too suspicious if Edward showed up today anyway. Go to work. I'll take this new one since I overbooked you." I wanted to kiss him but instead tried to step around him. He pulled me close again to kiss me softly.

"Somethings are more important than Emmett's rules" he said. I kissed him back agreeing completely.

I finished the oil change between phone calls, but I also heard a little squeal. Jake came to look at it and noticed the fan belt was a little loose he tightened it and the car sounded as good as new.

"This belt looks fine Ness, no cracks. Just ask her when she last had the timing belt done. That's usually the one that craps out the whole engine. Usually needs to be done every 100000 miles. It's about $500, not cheap, but beats a $10000 engine. Just charge for the oil change. I've gotta go replace some brake pads then do a tune up. And then I need to call the Corvette guy about a pricey repair – he must love that car. Can you call Edward? He'll worry if Seth calls Billy and Billy calls Charlie and Charlie calls Bella…"

"Geez, Jake, you'd think we live in a soap opera." All he had was a dirty rag in his hand – it missed me.

"Aye, aye, Boss!" I decided he deserved a salute.

I called Edward and he was going to book a flight out within the week. I told him we'd see him tonight to discuss things and we'd bring take-out.

As soon as I finished imputing the finished work order the lady was back. She told me that she'd heard the squeal for months but kept forgetting to get it checked and almost insisted on paying for the repair. I told her the boss said it was gratis. I passed on Jake's concern and she said she'd look into it certain she'd bring the car back if it had to be done. I like happy customers. I booked at least 10 more appointments that afternoon, Jake's week next week is more than half booked and it's only Monday. We're in trouble with Edward gone – it looks like it will be some late nights at the garage. By the end of the day customers were strolling in to pick-up their vehicles and clear up their tabs. I knew Jake had month end reports to get to Emmett as well as a fully booked day the next day. We closed up past six again and went through the drive through for burgers. I figured we'd go straight to the house but Jake pulled up at our place.

"Let's go" he pulled me out of the car. I hesitated. "Just a few minutes alone. We'll get there soon." He said. We sat on the couch and poured out our fries. Coated them in ketchup – the only way we eat them. We fed each other fries after we'd finished our respective burgers. We managed to get lost in each other and our silliness which proved Jake's point. There's always time. Jake finished his hot fudge sundae and wiped his hands before pulling me onto his lap for a kiss to end all kisses –deep and sensual, tender and seemingly without end. When he kissed me gently in short bursts to bring me out of my reverie, I smiled. Only Jake could make me forget all my worries for a minute and focus on love.

We got to the house by seven and Esme worried when we didn't have food but relaxed when we said we'd eaten. Edward actually smiled and pulled mom closer to him then I did the same to Jake.

Dad did book his flight for Wednesday and was meeting up with Seth. At that, Jake remembered he hadn't gotten the rest of the story. I called Leah.

"Leah, is Seth home?"

No, he's with the pack."

"I'll let Jake know. He wants to talk to him. Thanks. Call you soon."

I scooted Jake out the door reminding him to undress. There were questioning looks from my family but since Emmett wasn't there it was silent.

Jake came back in less than ten minutes wearing just his pants and sat down. I grabbed a bag for his stuff and put it at the front door. Good thing too; he had his boxers in with his shirt.

"Jake next time I have to tell you to also get dressed again." Almost everyone concurred but then Jasper said 'once seen cannot be unseen' which reminded all of us of the Emmett incident with Jake in the buff.

"So Jake…" Dad started to get us back on track and possibly to get me out of the reverie of remembering staring at Jake naked like I did that night.

He retold the story from Seth's perspective and it seemed pretty much the same as what I'd heard from Leah. Seth also didn't mention our engagement which was good news from Dad's point of view.

So we strategized with Dad and Jasper about the best way to ambush Mike. It really was like an FBI sting. If Seth was game I think the plan was for him to go in alone and depending on the results, Edward might wander into Mike's path. Edward was going to say he was out of school for the summer and looking into residency at the hospital – good cover and Carlisle still knew most of the physicians there.

We had a plan. "Mom are you packed?"

She shook her head.

"I can't go. I can't be seen." Shaking her head more forcefully.

"But…"

"It's fine Ness, you're far more important." Mom's 'it's fine' is the same as Jake's – it's never fine.

"NO! You have to go. No one will see you."

She just shook her head. I hated using the mind-reading card but it was my only hope. I was more than worried.

"Dad, she won't let you in, right?"

He nodded to me despite mom's silent pleas.

"What is the longest you've been apart since your wedding?"

"10 hours – drive to Seattle, Jenks", mom answered in monotone. And that time apart was fraught with great memories, I thought sarcastically. Edward looked haunted but I pressed on.

"And since Italy?" Everyone in the room shuddered.

Mom was vague "a day and a half"

Dad answered "thirty hours and fifteen minutes, hunting, Alice stayed with her."

"You have to go, Mom. Stay at the cottage. Run in from Seattle."

"It's too dangerous. For you."

I hated this. My fault. Mom is strong, no doubt. But not for this. No one had actually sat me down and told me about the months before Italy. Not even Jake. But I'd learned a lot in almost seven years and everything I'd gathered was horrible: the haunted looks on Carlisle's and Esme's faces every time it was mentioned – even now, Rosalie still searching for redemption, Alice and Jasper lost in each other paralysed in the memory. Jake also crushed with whatever his role was that set this incident in motion. And mom and dad reliving it as we sat here talking about my future. I couldn't take it.

OK. Let down your shield. I want to know what Dad will think. Because I think you'll fall apart."

She still shook her head.

Edward finally spoke up. "We'll have Seth monitor. No one needs to go anywhere right now." Holding mom in his arms. The way she clung to him told all of us this was the right course of action.

Good, I thought, we'll deal.

Then Bella surprised all of us and started yelling. "EDWARD! YOU ARE GETTING YOUR ASS ON THAT PLANE! I want to know if Ness is in ANY danger! I don't care if I burn like I did during the transformation or longer or hotter if it will save our daughter!"

I clung to Jake with tears rolling down my face. It was all my fault. Then another realization. Mom remembers. She had always been vague or even outright lied about her recollection during the transformation. Dad – I looked up and he had either processed this at the exact same time or read my thoughts. It didn't matter. Looking at dad; mom had made her point.

"I'll pack," was his concession. But I had to do something. I squeezed Jake, knowing I should talk to him first but hoping he'd understand.

"I'll stay with you, mom," Jake kissed me and nodded. I got up and sat on her other side. "I love you," she pulled me into her cold embrace.

Both Esme and Alice also came forward in support. Mom wouldn't be alone, it wasn't the same but hopefully we'd help her through however long Edward was gone.

"Dad?" I called.

"I'll be fine, Ness. I'll buy a plane if I need to get home." I didn't believe his 'fine' either but he'd already promised mom. He nodded. Jasper couldn't leave Alice and Carlisle was too well known in Forks– dad was on his own. And there was the issue of Charlie to discuss – should he or shouldn't he know of our world.

Dad picked up my train of thought. "Jake, I'll also talk to Sue about Charlie." He hesitated picking out Jake's thoughts. "I was thinking the same thing. It really should be their decision. I'll let Sue know." Mom looked worried. But I don't think it had anything to do with Charlie. Dad just shook his head. He didn't like not knowing any better than I did.

I gave mom a big hug and a kiss. "Jake and I are going to take off. I'll be here after work – maybe late – seven-ish on Wednesday."

Both Alice and Esme confirmed they'd be there during the day for mom. Other than her outburst she had barely spoken all night. I didn't know how this would work. I didn't think it would work.

"Ness. I've got a phone." Dad said. "I'll come home." He tried to reassure me but I don't know if it was only to convince himself. It's a long flight.


	38. Chapter 37: Love Always

Love Always

Once Jake and I got home I collapsed on the bed, exhausted and shaking. Jake picked me up undressed me and held me. I didn't know what to do.

"I can't have her alone Jake, but I need you." I sobbed.

"I know, we'll get though. Bella will get though because she has you."

When I finished shaking. I asked Jake to tell me the actual course of events. He didn't know everything either but filled in a few of the blanks. He pulled away from me as he told me about Edward's call and how he could have avoided all that followed. I didn't let him take the blame.

"Everyone blames themselves: you, Rosalie, Bella, Edward. Carlisle and Esme and Alice and Jasper – all left. No one said 'This is idiotic!' I'm glad you were there for mom helping her through everything – I just have to remember I wasn't born yet. I'll be with her next few days, but it's not me she'll need. We'd all be better off taking Emmett's approach to life – let bygones be bygones. Let's get to work early, Jake. We're not calling Edward tomorrow even if there's a three alarm fire – mom will need him."

We cuddled together and slept waking at six. We decided to combine our morning run and commute to save time, so packed clothes and took the run around the lake to the garage. We showered and dressed onsite, ready for the day before seven. Today there were six sets of keys in the safe. I pulled all the work orders. Two oil changes and four … things for Jake. I was learning a lot of new automotive terminology but it's a steep learning curve.

I finished the oil changes and called the customers right away. Both were thrilled as they'd thought they'd be without their vehicles the whole day.

The phone started ringing at eight and didn't stop. We had all of next week booked and a few slots into the following week and even scheduled a few more appointments for today since our early arrival made us so efficient. I accepted all the walk-ins for oil changes.

"Jake, can I get a headset? I can work and answer the phone." I finally figured out a solution as I was racing between the cars and phone for the fifteenth time that morning.

"Yeah. Put it under miscellaneous," he called. Now that we had other disasters on the horizon it was nice to see how our work life had settled into this comfortable routine.

I ran out at lunch for the headset and more fast food for Jake and I. This was getting to be a bad habit.

By eight that night we were done. Customers had come by to use the key slot and were surprised we were still open. We didn't want conventional fast food again but did hunt on the way home – the food was definitely fast.

As soon as we got home and showered, I relaxed. We got through. Just like the next however many days. Edward's leaving early tomorrow, Alice and Esme, would be there. I took a deep breath. Good thing too. Jake was trembling.

"We'll make it Jake. I'll still see you every day." I pulled him to my lips and his response was instantaneous. It was a desperate physical plea for closeness, not careful, just raw desire. He carried me to bed and we tore off each other's clothes. His hands were everywhere my nipples, my folds and deep, it didn't take long for me to shudder and cry out. I responded in kind taking him in my mouth until he trembled and called my name. We groped and kneaded every inch of the other, frantic with need. I sheathed and rode him until he pulled me down crying with desire even amidst his release. He entered me again where we continue to fondle and press into one another, our unbridled passion culminating in dual orgasms. Frantic energies expended in the name of carnal needs seeking fulfillment, not knowing when we would be able to touch like this again. We eventually slowed to caress and kiss one another calming our raged breathing and racing hearts. I wanted to cuddle into Jake's body but as I turned, I heard Jake utter a word I'd never heard him say with me in his bed.

"FUCK!" followed by a whisper "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ness."

I looked down. No condom. I understood Jake's initial reaction. I echoed it. _Fuck._ But it takes two.

"Jake. It's not your fault." We held each other in shock for at least an hour. I checked my cycle. Day 10. I couldn't remember – do sperm live two days? I thought so. It shouldn't. I told Jake. He remembered the old joke at the same time I did about what you call people who practice the rhythm method of birth control – parents. We laughed half-heartedly.

I now felt sticky and the bed was wet. "Jake. Sleep. I'm going to shower and find a towel for the bed. "

He, of course, doesn't listen. He helps me into the shower as though I am expecting. And then goes to strip the bed. By the time I'm washed, Jake brings me a towel and helps me into the freshly made bed.

I don't know how long we lay holding each other silently awake. But the alarm went off at six. We both woke up and had to look at each other to know it wasn't a dream.

"Let's go Jake."

"Shouldn't we call Carlisle?"

"NO! Everyone is already distraught. Because of me. I will deal with this."

Jake corrected me "We will deal with this, together."

"Together." I agreed.

We ran to work again though Jake initially balked at the idea. I had to remind him I wouldn't break.

Same routine. We didn't have time to talk further about our incident. The garage was waiting. Busy. Exhausted by six-thirty we called it quits. I had to get to the house.

"Jake, come over? You can sleep in my bed. I was thinking initially you could sleep under Bella's window as a wolf but not now. If Edward finds out about our problem through the pack, that would be horrible. I know it's killing him to be away as it is."

I'll be ok, Ness. I worry about you. I've sleep alone a lot of years, just not recently. Meet you here at six-thirty tomorrow?"

"I love you, Jake" I kissed him good-bye, heartbreak evident. Pregnant? I didn't know.

"I love you, Ness" he returned the kiss, until we had to go our separate ways.

"Mom?" I ran into the house. Carlisle was pacing.

"Carlisle? What's wrong?" However much I wanted to talk with him about my problem he was barely holding it together and right now there were other things that were far more important.

"I think this is hard on everyone, Ness. Just go see your mom."

I found her with Esme and Alice at a loss as mom was curled in a ball. I all but kicked them out of the room. "Come back when I fall asleep. And I need to leave at six to meet Jake at work." They left reluctantly.

"Mom?" I curled up around her, not caring her skin was like ice. "I'm here. I love you. I miss him too." I held her for what seemed like hours, no change. Then, I had an idea. "Mom, watch" I played every image I could bring to mind of mom and dad together. She focused, still curled but infinitesimally more relaxed. It was a tiny ray of hope. Too bad we didn't make any family movies other than the ones in my head. By midnight I was exhausted. I played Bella's lullaby for the third time and then I whispered for Alice and Esme.

They came immediately and I asked them for Dad's music. They brought the computer up and set up a playlist. Perfect.

"If she talks wake me please…" Alice and Esme agreed. They also asked to play my dreams. I shook my head. When I told them "I dream of Jake" there was instant understanding. Good. I didn't want to explain.

Alice woke me at six. She just shook her head. "How's dad?"

"He's talked to Seth. They'll do this today. Edward's on the earliest flight out tomorrow. He'll be back at noon. He tried to talk to her on the phone – nothing." she nodded to mom's curled form.

"I have to go, Alice. Jake can't manage the garage alone. I'll be back as soon as I can but we're busy. We can't let Emmett or Rose down either."

"Esme will be back soon. I've got her Ness. Try not to worry. "

I ran to work and greeted Jake with passion. It sounded like he spent the whole evening reading up on symptoms of early pregnancy. "Nausea? bloating? cramps? fever? Bleeding?" His voice rose an octave like it usually does with almost any association with blood.

"Jake I'm f.." that was like a curse word in my family; way worse the one Jake used last night. Fine.

"I don't feel any differently than yesterday or the day before" I clarified. "We need to work so I can get back." I didn't want him to know how bad Bella was or he would send me back there. The problem is they both need me.

It was a frenzied pace. Phones, oil changes, signing for deliveries and walk in customers. As the office worker I was really the face of the company and shouldn't be up to my ears in oil. I ran –a little too fast – between the hand wash station and the desk on numerous occasions. Good thing Rosalie and Emmett had put in one-way glass.

By six I had to interrupt Jake.

We were so far gone. We stared into each other's' eyes for a long-time before we touched. It actually reminded me of Alice and Jasper. We clasped hands and slowly drew towards one another before our lips met. We curled around each other, fraught with anxiety; not wanting to part. We were still clinging to each other at six-thirty when Jake reminded me, "Bella." I held onto him and backed slowly away until just the tips of our fingers were touching. Then I ran for the house right to mom.

She had changed. No longer breathing. Just stone. My eyes welled but I had to stay strong. "Mom I'm here. I love you. I miss him too" I repeated. Then, the movie. She took a breath. She hadn't spoken for two days. When she spoke I was ecstatic until I processed what she said.

"Jake? Please, Jake."

My eyes spilt over. My Jake. What would dad think? What would Jake think? Could I ask her?

"Mom?" My voice trembling in fear. I knew everyone in the house was listening. "Do you want me to call Jake?" I broke. Alice knew. She rushed to my side trying to comfort me trying to get me to go home. But most of all, to hear the answer to my question that she knew she could never hide from Edward. I was dying inside but I had to repeat my question.

"Save...Jake."

"Mom!" I was angry. But she was...nothing. Again stone. I shook her. I hadn't showered, I smelled of oil and grease and fast food." Mom, do you want me to call Jake?" My happiness in exchange for my mother's. That was the price. I showed her Jacob and me. But she didn't breathe. Dad. A breath. Then

"Smell ….Jacob…umm."

His name. My heartbreak. And Dad's. I tried again. No change except

"Smells of Jacob….Nessie."

"Yes mom. It's me. Nessie. I love you. I miss him too." Same words. Altered. Him was no longer dad. He was my Jacob. My fiancé. My lover. My whole life. And maybe, just maybe, a part of a new life inside of me. Everyone was there. Alice broke for her brother. Esme and Carlisle for their son. Wait, where's Jasper? He's gone – too much pain.

Third time will put the bullet in my heart. "Mom, I'm going to call Jake." Tears streaming down my face. My arm across her cheek I showed her the family and Jake. Nothing. Dad whispering in her ear and her smile. A breath.

"Jacob loves Nessie…forever. I love you Edward."

I exhaled …but still I didn't fully understand.

Carlisle figured it out before I did. He pulled me off of mom as easily as if I were an infant even though I was clinging to her with everything I had.

"Ness. I think …no I KNOW … she is only worried about you, thinking about you. Forever. Your mom wants Jake to protect you. Always. She will be herself again when your Dad gets back. We have her. Go shower. You do smell like Jake." I clung to him in tears until he passed me to Alice.

Alice helped me in the shower and washed my hair and my back. She gave me a cloth to wash down below. Alice didn't say anything but even I could tell that's where I still smelled of Jake.

I grabbed some PJs and made my way to mom's room again. It looked like everyone had recovered. I went to their hamper and pulled out the shirt dad wore in the rain a few days ago. I put it under moms head. As soon as I showed her dad, she took a breath and sighed.

"Nessie's safe. I love you Edward."

I played her lullaby until I fell asleep, trusting Alice to move my palm to another location once I drifted off. They woke me at six as I requested. I got up and stumbled.

"We need to call Jake."

"NO!" I roared. "I just need some coffee. I'm in this. I need to talk with Jake."

I got up and dressed. Alice made me coffee and I jogged to work. I knew I had to tell him what had happened but I didn't know how.

As soon I saw him I ran. I cried and caressed every bit of him I could reach.

"Ness, are you ok? Where are you hurt?" he touched my belly gently.

"Nothing like that."

"Is it Bella?"

"A little. She's now breathing again." He let out a sigh. Now he knew how bad it really was…almost. "But there was …a misunderstanding."

"About what?"

"Mom…she was saying something I didn't understand. I lost it, Jake. In my mind I lost you." I was shaking.

"Never, Ness. I love you." Jake knew how to get information from me. He put my hand to his cheek.

"Jake you have to know the ending. Just like in her rant she was protecting me 'till the end. OK?"

He nodded. I played the scene. As I relived my worst nightmare, Jake fell to his knees with me. Jake kept the connection, stroking the back of my hand. Tears streaming down both our cheeks until Bella spoke the words "I love you, Edward."

"Oh, Ness" he pulled me in kissing away my tears. "I should have been there. Your mom and I we both know there's no one in this world more important than you. I would have told you that a hundred times, a thousand times." He understood, just like Carlisle. He picked me up and stood. "We need to call Emmett. We can do this later."

"Not a chance, Jacob. We're in this together." I grabbed his key, opened the door and pulled him inside. The familiar scent of the garage, of Jake. Jacob worked on month end. I tidied and cleaned. I printed everything for Monday, started a new supply list and called Alice. With everything last night I hadn't found out about dad.

"Alice. How's mom?"

"Holding the shirt. Repeating Edward's name. Better than yesterday thanks to you, Ness. "

"And Dad?"

"Seth called to say he got on the plane but that Edward couldn't talk. I don't know what it means. I don't know what he saw since he's been with Seth. He's not coming here when he lands Ness. He disappears – so he's going to you. Bring him home, please?"

"Oh, NO!" I yelled before I could stop myself. "He cannot come here Alice. Can you hold him off at the airport?

"No. Thought of that - he evades me. He needs to get to you."

"He needs to see mom. Then I can talk to him. I don't matter."

"You don't see Ness. Same as your mom. Your Dad is putting you above his own happiness and Bella's. Listen to what he thinks is so much more important than that. Then bring him home. "

I have no choice. "I have another problem Alice. Can anyone else hear me?" I could hear wind.

"Not anymore. And I'm assuming Edward doesn't know."

"Perceptive. I wanted to talk to him on the phone. But I guess I'm all-in. Jake and I ...well…we forgot protection on Tuesday."

"Aaah.." she sighed. Then worried. "You're feeling ok?"

"Oh, Alice. You sound like Jake. No different."

"Have you talked to Carlisle."

"No. There's been too much going on."

"Should I get him?"

"I'll talk to Dad first."

"He needs to know about yesterday, too."

"I know. We'll be there as soon as we can."

It was already 1130. Jake had finished his report. June was the highest grossing month ever. And July looked ready to beat it, I was certain. We were being responsible, in one way at least. I told Jake about my talk with Alice, he worried just like I did both about what Edward found out in Forks and about what we have to tell him.

We locked up and headed home with another fast food stop. This time Jake gave me half his sandwich as I finished my own.

"I skipped breakfast." I said, but we both worried.

We were too nervous. If Edward ran he'd be here at one, driving his manic speed maybe 1230. If the plane was on time.

At 1217 I heard the car squeal and do a 180 before skidding to a stop inches from Jake's Rabbit. Dad didn't look; he just leapt to our second floor balcony, turned the security lock to dust and walked in.

"Ness!" he pulled me into his arms. His look, haunted. I don't know what he found out in Forks but it was much worse than I feared.

"Mike is vile! He deserves to die. I should have ripped out his throat! These are thoughts, I've never heard. MY DAUGHTER!"

He was on the brink. "Dad?" I coaxed softly. "Can you start from the beginning?" _I wish he had a gift like mine._

"No you don't, Ness. You never want to see…this." He was terrified. At least he was breathing. Unlike mom. At that dad's breath caught. "We'll get there soon, I promise. You need to know this. I've never seen a human with this focus. If he was ever bitten he would be lethal to everyone but you. He is more than obsessed. But it is violent. I can't even describe…the acts of gratification he believes he deserves to have with you. Bella too, though he thinks of her as an unrequited conquest that he should remedy then toss her aside. I'd really, really like to see him try – she'd break him into a million pieces." Even though mom is now virtually indestructible he still tends to be overprotective. Dad talking so matter-of-factly about mom's ability to protect herself this way had me more worried than anything else he'd said so far.

"But you are his mark, his prize. His property. No love. Only defilement. You can never be in his sights again. He recognizes some similarities between you and Bella, but hasn't developed any rational. It is not his focus. We are safe from the Volturi. But you will never be safe from Mike. He would imprison, torture, rape but keep you alive for his own gruesome pleasure…" He couldn't go on.

"I'm here, dad" Trying to help him refocus. "I have Jake. You. Mom. Everyone will make sure I'm safe."

"Jake. You are the opposite of what this…thing…represents. Love, compassion, respect, passion. And even when things don't go as planned you're by her side." Dad pulled me off of him and put my arms around Jake. He knew and that was it. Best get all the secrets out now, the sooner the better then Dad can get home.

"Ness. I saw. You and mom. You were …." He couldn't find the words. _Dead, broken, nothing._ I remembered. Dad nodded though my thoughts but then said "Brave. Throughout that pain you worried about me. About mom. About Jake. You stayed strong for everyone else. If you need, when you need help, be sure you let someone be there for you." then is less than a whisper. "You are never going to the Volturi."

I didn't know that thought had passed through my head last night, but now I know it did. Jake couldn't breathe for fear. "I wasn't really considering…only thinking. I'm sorry, Jake."

I turned his mouth to mine deeply to awake a breath and repeated my 'I love you's' until he responded in kind.

Dad shouldn't have witnessed that. Dad came over to kiss me on the top of my head and squeezed Jake's shoulder. "Come over tonight – seven. I need to go home." And he exited as he entered and peeled away.

 **Ness needs protection...all kinds.**


	39. Chapter 38: Protection Detail

**Protection Detail**

Jake and I held each other as tightly as was possible but were interrupted less than two minutes later; a security company called saying they were sending over an installer immediately. We vacuumed, not sure what to say when the lock had very clearly disappeared from its housing and turned to dust. They didn't ask. They fixed it and ran an alarm system throughout the suite likely connected to Dad's phone. And mom's. And Jake's. I am safe. After all, Mike is only human – right?

It was nearly two. I was due at the clinic. My second real shift. I couldn't cancel.

"Jake. I should go."

"I know Ness. I'll walk you to the clinic. Then, do you mind if I talk to Seth?" I knew he didn't mean calling him.

"No. But please ask him not tell Leah if she still hasn't phased. I should call."

We walked hand in hand, I gave him a tender kiss and he said he'd see me later. I watched him run into the woods and start to strip but opened the clinic door before he removed his shorts. I needed to focus.

The clinic was busy. Screaming kids, so many in the waiting room there were barely enough chairs. I checked in and got to work. There was filing and laundry. Cleaning the toys in the waiting room was challenging as there were so many kids. The nurses sometimes let me observe an assessment if the patient allowed it but today it was too crazy. I stocked some shelves. Noticing the condom supply in Exam 1 was nearly out and there were none in the supply room so I went to find the manager. She said we lost the sponsor. Some zealot decided for the masses. She was livid but there was no budget. There was also no budget for pregnancy tests in the months to follow either, she said with irony. I asked her for the name of the supplier and phone number and I dialled. Regular deliveries arranged in minutes, my credit card. The manager was in shock, though she knew I was somehow related to the best doctor they'd ever had she couldn't believe it was that easy. I wanted to make sure safer sex was always a choice. I silently wondered how long it would take Alice to ask about the charges as she did most of the Cullen banking - she might believe Jake and I were being extra careful now.

"Ness. Thank-you. I know Carlisle has instilled great values in you in the short time you've lived here. The circumstances were horrific but he says you've grown into a responsible young adult. I see that too. I know you call him grandpa but we know that's impossible. A mentor certainly. Even though he's not a blood relative you've learned as we all have from a soul kind beyond his years. Thank-you, for your generous gift."

I accepted the thanks. And she is right in one context – Carlisle is compassion personified, even a mortal can see that, the years and the sacrifice were his alone. But she is wrong – I am a blood relative, Edward's blood has run in his body and runs in mine.

I tidied the supply cabinets making mental notes of items in low supply to inform the receptionist for reorders. A sponsor wouldn't have an issue with ordering more Band-Aids, I thought with derision. At six I checked in with the manager. She already had paperwork for me for charitable donations. I filled it in but didn't really need the tax break. We said goodbye until next week. Jake was waiting for me, without a shirt, as I walked out.

I greeted him with a kiss but wanted the scoop. "Seth?"

"He's worried. He didn't know the details about Mike. And he thinks I'm an irresponsible oaf, you know Seth, he doesn't mince words."

I lightened the mood by telling him about my day and my recurrent order. He laughed and was going to watch Alice too. Then with a mischievous glint in his eye "I bet we really could use them all." I kissed him again trying not to think too much about Jake's idea. We were due at the house.

Esme and Carlisle had made us a stir fry, the first vegetables I think I'd eaten in more than a week and I was eternally grateful. Carlisle never cooks – it looks like we were all separated for far too long. They served us dinner and Alice and Jasper came down hand-in-hand.

Jasper tried to apologize but I shook my head. I couldn't deal with my pain alone, he had everyone's.

Jake and I ate then sat on the couch. Mom and Dad needed time. At nine, I was thinking we might head out, come back tomorrow. When I started to suggest it, I heard mom.

"Ness. A minute." She called quietly.

She came down, with Edward at her side, my parents, together again. They had been separated for 52 hours but would never be again if I could help it.

As soon as they reached the bottom stair Mom raced to me and I hugged her.

"I love you."

She would have had tears. "Ness, I'm sorry. So, so sorry. I shouldn't have put you through that. I'm supposed to be the parent. I`m not Renee. I don't know how you knew everything; I thought we had been so careful. And Jake is yours. Always has been. Our friendship was born because of you even though you weren't born yet. Your dad already gave you the lecture, love, never give up. Forgive me…someday."

"Forgive you? You were protecting me even through everything. Just because I couldn't understand you blame yourself. Do you know everyone here blames themselves exclusively for Italy, and Rose does too. QUIT IT, all of you! You have an eternity of happiness in front of you. Emmett, gets on our nerves, I admit, but he is the most fun-loving and optimistic person I've ever met. His goals are to have fun, be loved and to love with unbridled passion. We all need to be like Emmett."

Jake spoke "Ness. You do know Emmett will never let you live down that speech." And everyone concurred. At that Alice and Esme both yawned – it couldn't have been more obvious. They could have waited about thirty seconds for me, at least I get tired.

Jake snickered then said "Ness and I have a full week. Anyone object to Sunday dinner – NEXT Sunday? "

No one did. I was anxious to get home. Jake disarmed then rearmed the new alarm and we got into bed. It had been a tough week and the next two would also be challenging. We made love for closeness and comfort until morning light.

We stirred and went for a run after lunch. Afterwards, I finally managed to call Leah to talk. Not about Mike even though I answered those questions first.

When I told her about Jake and me, she admonished him and I defended him. No different than normal, really. We had a long chat about possible scenarios but I could only see two. Either I'd get my period and we'd be done this discussion certain not to repeat the panic or I'd only be attending only one semester at Dartmouth. I voiced to Leah what I couldn't yet say to Jake.

"I don't really know what I'm hoping for."

"I know. The future you planned and the one you didn't. They both look pretty good, Ness. Wait and see."

We promised to talk again soon. If anyone had told me at the beginning of the year Leah and I would be on each other's speed dial I would have mocked them.

I volunteered at the clinic that afternoon because the next weekend was currently an unknown. It was nice to have some continuity and I even got a chance to follow-up with a few patients I'd seen the day before. Maybe I'd increase my time at the clinic but then I thought of Jake. I wish I didn't have to sleep!

The week rushed by in a blur, up early, home late working at the garage from dawn until dusk. We insisted Edward stay home with mom so it made for long days for Jake and I. And in the intervening hours Jake and I were making a valiant attempt to get through our own condom supply even if we didn't know if using them mattered.

When we arrived for Sunday dinner, mom took me outside as Esme put the finishing touches on the baked ham, scalloped potatoes and masses of veggies. I was starving – our diet hadn't improved from the previous week.

"Ness, I wish you would have called, told me about things." And I should have. Dad had told her about Jake and I. "I know I wasn't here last week, but I'm back and I'll do whatever I can to support you."

"I should have called, I'm sorry, Mom. Jake and I…we were reckless. We'll figure it out. Next week."

"Carlisle…"

"No. The old fashioned way. I'm not peeing in any more cups. Especially with what he does with it. We'll know next week one way or the other."

"Just know I'm here."

"Thanks, mom."

Dinner didn't disappoint and as we hadn't seen anyone all week there should have been a lot to talk about. There wasn`t. Jake took the lead. He described our long days at the garage, our runs, my volunteering, his pack meetings, hunting, cooking and eating out. Carlisle did talk about the clinic – I think he worked two nights this week - and thanked me for volunteering. Alice and Jasper couldn't talk about their cases but did mention walking around the hospital ground when the other volunteers were having lunch. Riveting conversation so far. Bella and Edward said nothing. Jake and I gave up and decided to head home early. You'd think living forever you'd learn to adapt to change and move forward, but only Jake and I were on the road to accomplish this. And it seemed like we had the most to worry about. Or maybe my family was just worrying for us.

It was a good thing we were so busy at the garage again this week. It took my mind off …things. We still didn't want to call Edward to help, maybe next week. We ran in early and stayed late, leaving little time for other needs, still relying on take-out for lunch and dinner. Every evening we held each other wondering what would happen on the weekend. By Thursday night we were very tired and tense.

Jake kissed my neck and voiced my fears "Ness, I don't know about tomorrow. Is it wrong for me to want a baby?"

"Really, Jake?"

"I do. Don't think this was on purpose…I would never…but I've been thinking about us these last few weeks with a little one in tow."

"Me too. I talked to Leah she likened it to two different futures and I don't know which one I want to materialize. We'll know tomorrow."

I don't know if Jake slept at all that night as I heard his reassuring words and felt his soft caresses it seemed all night. When I woke and stood I knew. I woke Jake with my despair as I rushed to the washroom and shower. Blood. No baby. I sat on the cold tile and Jake followed, he teared, as he sat with me in the stall. I shivered and he pulled me to his lap, silent tears on our faces for a life that was not to be. Jake was warm, Jake was safe, I kissed him hard, wanting him to make me forget the pain like he did on the night of our reckless coupling. But no. He kissed me gently through my tears and rocked me, comforting me in my sorrow that echoed his own. Soon, he picked me up and ran the shower to rinse us both. Jake made breakfast while I dressed by rote. It was late. We were due to open in half and hour but I could barely move through the tears.

"Let's go, Jake."

"We're not going anywhere. I called Edward; he is opening, Bella will take calls. I think the whole family will be at the garage today. Except us."

"They know?"

"They know I am with you and that you need me. We can tell them when you're ready." He carried me back to bed and let me cry on his chest until I fell into a restless sleep.

I stirred, Jake tried to quiet me. "Shh, Nessie, it was just Leah. Nothing new about Mike." He couldn't keep the contempt out of his voice as he said Mike's name. "Leah wouldn't tell me what she wanted. She just wants you to call. Later. "

"Did you tell her?"

"No. I told her you'd call. She's worried though, she knows I don't usually answer your phone. "

I sat up and wiped away some tears. "I'm going to call her."

"Not now. "

"Yeah, Jake. She understands." He looked hurt, but recovered. "It's not that you don't Jake, I'm sorry…just …girl talk?" I tried to smile.

"It's ok, Ness. I know. Leah's one of a kind, like you. I'll call Edward about the shop so you can 'dish'" he tried to smile too.

I dialed.

"Ness!" She squealed. Leah doesn't squeal.

"Hi, Leah."

"Oh, Ness. I'm sorry. Jake wouldn't say…"

I told her. And the tears started again.

"Oh, Ness. I'm so sorry. " She went on a new rant about Jake. She called Jake a few choice names, of which inconsiderate prat and thoughtless douchebag were the nicest. She cited 'his need to get some' as his problem and then suggested a few tools to cut it off next time. I kinda liked her spunk even if I didn't agree. It made me focus. Jake and I were in this together from the beginning and next time….even when we plan for a family….we might share heartbreak. And hopefully a child.

"Ness! Are you there? I'm sorry I dissed Jake. Talk to me, OK?"

"Leah, it's not that. I'm just a wreck. I'll manage. Jake's amazing and we're dealing with this together. But you called. What's your news?"

"Well…" I could hear her smiling, "I got my period!"

"What?! Wow. OMG Leah. That's fabulous!"

"Same cycle, huh. Curious." Leah said thoughtfully.

"Sisters, Leah. Remember?"

"Yeah."

"So you don't want Jake to know? He'd be excited too." Only in my messed up reality would telling my fiancé about my friend's period make any sense.

"I don't want Seth to know – yet. He'll be bratty and I'm hormonal again. Not a good combination."

"OK. Seth will know something's up though. I have to tell Jake that you don't want him to know something."

"Ness. That is so confusing but so true. TTYL? Call me if Jake's not taking care of you. I'll phase and give him a piece of my mind."

That was a true mark of friendship. "I don't think I need to worry. "

I hung up and called to Jake and he came running. He walked in still on the phone with Edward.

"No the red wire next to the blue one…got it, good. This would have been so much easier if you could have read my mind. I gotta go, Ness is off the phone. Bye."

"Am I in the Twilight Zone?" I asked him with a true smile this time.

"What?"

"I'm sure this is parallel universe. You've never wished for Edward to read your mind. Especially," I pulled him into bed. "When we do this." He responded to my passionate embrace to hold me in his arms once again.

"No, not like this. But Edward was trying to fix a faulty electrical circuit and wasn't following directions. He finally got it. Your talk with Leah seems helpful."

"Yeah, she ranted about – and I quote – 'your need to get some' and for me to cut it off but I decided against it. There will be a time when we will plan to start a family but right now we'll support each other."

"Leah has a strange way to show she cares. But if she managed to get you to that conclusion I don't care what she said. Did she tell you why she called?"

"Yeah. She'll call you when she's ready. But she thinks its good news."

"Secret from Seth?" he asked. I just nodded.

By noon, I showered again and dressed. "Let's go. I need to tell them in person. But I need to hunt first."

I could feel my hemoglobin dropping.

Jake nodded. We found a large herd of elk south of town and I felt replenished.

We got to the garage and Edward jumped up from the main bay to give me a small kiss. "I'm sorry sweetie."

If only telling everyone else was that easy. They all came out of the office, Jasper, behind, it was embarrassing they could smell the blood. I saw Esme and Bella with trowels and looked around – they'd been landscaping! Alice had on the headset, Carlisle and Jasper had greasy hands. My family.

"Thanks everyone. " I started to tear. "I didn't know what I wanted really. I would have probably had the same reaction no matter what had happened. Thanks for taking over."

Carlisle had only just heard. "Ness, you should have come to me."

"I know grandpa. I will. But there's nothing you could have done. Jake and I we're a team. We made a mistake and are dealing with the consequences." He nodded.

"Love is the best medicine."

Esme and Bella came to hug me next. Esme's advice was heartfelt "Dreams are real Ness. Let yourself grieve in your own time."

Mom just hugged me. "I love you mom. Jake and I will be ok together. I promise."

Alice called "Talk to you later, Ness? Jasper's not well." He was in the corner, not breathing. I had to get home. He did send a wave of comfort my way despite his obvious discomfort. Jasper – we all have our battles.

In the meantime, Edward jumped straight at Jasper and everyone turned. Jake crouched in my defense. "Sunday!" He called as we ran for home. It usually wasn't this early but it had started – the torrent. Whether it was the emotional upheaval of the morning or the early hunt, I didn't know. I was just glad Jake was there. Like always. Jake stayed by my side all weekend amidst my rollercoaster of emotions and all the girl stuff. I did catch him wiping away tears and it helped that I wasn't the only one affected. We were both so upset that we really did have a serious conversation about parenthood. Going through the chaos of our lives right now we knew it wasn't the right time but a part of me was ready.


	40. Chapter 40: A Little Credit

**A Little Credit**

 **Lemons**

A week later, Jake and I were back to our regular routine. When we walked into the house for Sunday dinner, Edward gave me a kiss and of course I had to reassure mom I was ok. Then Alice and Jasper joined us with Jasper wanting to apologize again. I just thanked him for helping in the garage, Jake curled around me and Jasper hung back behind Alice. I wish both of them would quit being so protective of me. Alice, on the other hand, had the strangest expression on her face. Alice frequently stared at Jake and me with blank confusion as she was blind to our futures but this didn't seem to be some unknown future event.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"Hi guys. Just, uh, wondering, have you been busy?" the question came off as curious and cheeky. I didn't know what Alice had up her sleeve. Jake told her about our week in brief, he was super excited about some ancient truck someone brought in. It turns out no other mechanic would touch it. Jake was in his element but hadn't gotten around to looking at it yet. I told her about the clinic and taking vital signs and comforting screaming kids. I didn't really want to mention the wounds that I saw getting sutured or the horrible nosebleeds, Alice is better than Jasper around blood but she knows she has limits too.

"Are you getting home on time?"

"We're busy, so usually a little late, but it's ok." I didn't know what Alice wanted, I guess if she's bored we could use the help at the garage.

"You guys look a little tired." she commented. We hadn't gotten our full quota of sleep this week but as Edward was helping at the garage again we were at least able to close almost on time every evening.

"Uh, I guess, a little" was my answer but I finally questioned her "What are you really asking, Alice….you're tiptoeing around something but I don't know.."

"Have your nights been busy?" Nights? Sleep…oh…I finally clued in. My credit card bill had arrived.

"Yes, Alice. Thank-you for your concern. I take care of Jake every night." At my answer Jake snickered, he got it too.

Jake's answer went further "Alice, I promise you Ness is well cared for too. Frequently, every night, weekends, mornings too."

Dad walked into the room and was looking from Alice to us trying not to burst out laughing. I was shocked because Jake's description wasn't a lie, it wasn't even an exaggeration, we really do partake incredibly frequently…

"Bella is dinner ready?" Dad spoke, obviously, trying to interrupt my train of thought.

"Five minutes."

"Good." Jake answered and he wasn't backing down. "Because I'm starving. We've been using a lot of energy this week. I can't say we don't learn from our mistakes."

"We're being extra careful, Alice. Don't worry." I told her.

Alice finally decided we were up to something. Teasing Alice was so rare. Dad was only tolerating our conversation because of this, I was sure. He couldn't tease her – she could see the punchline long before he got there. Dad nodded, but only once. We were on very thin ice.

"OK Ness. What's the bill for?" Alice was getting upset. She wasn't used to the unknown even though Jake and I would have given her practice with this over the years.

"Condoms" I said confidently even though I had to look away from Edward.

"And…?"

"More condoms." I repeated. Jake kissed me then and I could tell his thoughts were spinning out of control.

Dad finally said "Enough. Just tell her, Ness. Her thoughts were slightly amusing but now she's got you and Jake– please cut the imagery Alice."

"Alice, don't worry. Jake and I make it work."

She was still confused. And Dad wasn't going to last much longer, Alice must have a vivid imagination. Jake didn't need to imagine. I wondered if there was something Jake and I hadn't tried...

"Ness…" Dad's growl signalled that time was officially up.

"Alright, Alice. It's supplies for the clinic. The sponsor pulled out. Yes, pun intended. And as that doesn't work as a form of birth control or STI protection, I stepped in. I'll get Jasper the charitable info. I know I have it somewhere."

"OH! That makes so much more sense, Ness. Even Jasper and I couldn't make the numbers add up. We really tried. And we don't sleep." She said winking at Jasper.

"Alice!" I shouted.

"Ha! I got you back! It's not a pleasant visual is it?" I had to shake my head vigorously to try to clear it. Mom started serving us dinner, Dad had left. Obviously as funny as it was Dad could only tolerate so much when it had to do condoms and his daughter. I can't say I blame him. Now I looked at Jake. His thoughts were the same as mine. We'd make it an early night.

"Well, I guess it still fits our charitable goals…we are all about protecting wildlife." Alice stared me down as if daring me to contradict her.

"Yeah. Sometimes humans need protection from themselves, not just vampires." I smiled and Alice nodded. Sometimes our lives were silly. But in the back of all our minds there still was Mike.

Aug 14. Eighteen at last. I don't know why I was so excited about my eighteenth birthday. First of all the year was made up and the date on my birth certificate wasn't real either. It was actually the date of my conception – something no one really wants to think about. But my family had always been anxious on the days leading up to my actual birthday and, as the timing itself is horrible for the general population as well, I asked Jasper to change it. Eighteen. Officially an adult, maybe that was it. I guess I could vote or join the military but neither interested me much. We really only worried about the one law and I don`t think I have it in me to even hold a weapon much less use one. Eighteen. I figured it out when Jasper gave me an envelope for my birthday – and per tradition mom opens it – no papercuts. Every year. To reveal my new birth certificate. This year – it was empty. For the first year in my whole life I didn`t need new ID. That was definitely it. I could keep my current birth year for at least a few years, actually have a real birthday. Wow. The little things that matter. Jake felt I needed a cake but I told him – and Alice – I didn`t want a party. I told Alice to make that her present to me so she wouldn't refuse. We had dinner at the house and the cake. Perfect. Carlisle and Esme were geniuses in regards to their gift to me – paying Jake's tuition to business school. Since it was a gift to me, Jake couldn't complain and I was super happy they didn't get me anything. Win-win. Alice – though agreeing to the non-party present still managed to get me a gift a 'girls day'- shopping for what she deems an appropriate wardrobe as well as accessories for a first year Dartmouth student. I had to remind her that our whole apartment is less than half the size of her walk-in closet. Unfortunately, I was still on the hook for the shopping trip, where she would drop the equivalent of the GDP of a developing country. Emmett and Rosalie called and bought me my own pudu at a rescue sanctuary– I was touched, the cute little deer was staying in Chile being cared for and would help with species recovery. Bella and Edward bought us an open ticket to Australia. I guess it helps to have a mind-reader for a dad after all. Jake was keen to dive with the great whites and I wasn`t totally unreasonable. Only in a shark cage - he's not as unbreakable as Emmett and I like him in one piece.

I groaned the following Saturday as Jake and I finally stirred and I remembered. Shopping. Boston. Alice. I had managed to change my volunteer day to Sunday after much begging from Alice about all the retail stores that weren't open on Sundays. Would I survive the day? I would have preferred just to stay with Jake, like this in his arms, in our bed, than spend the day in changing rooms. But I didn't want to disappoint Alice. Alice would be here at eight; we only had an hour.

"Jake do you want to go for a run or…" I kissed him and trailed down his neck with a destination in mind. He didn't let me get that far.

"Run." He said, just saying "Alice." as an explanation. I reluctantly got up and dressed. We ran for about half-an-hour and then we headed for a quick shower. Only it wasn't so quick when Jake forgot his resolve and started caressing my thighs and between my legs. He pulled me to him and I exhaled as he entered. We kissed and moved under the water knowing time was of the essence. Sometimes urgency is a great motivator, certain I didn't want Alice breaking in if we were late. I thrust into him, pinning him to the tiles until he quaked. I kissed and caressed Jake still burning with my desires but knowing there was no time. He didn't want to let me go and I didn't want to leave. "One minute, Ness. Your turn." I couldn't move when he pulled out then traced his tongue down my neck, to my nipple, down my flank and buried his tongue in my heat as I moaned. Moments later he had to hold me upright as I spasmed and he drank from me. He held and washed us both before we grabbed towels. I grabbed the first pair of jeans and shirt I could find, knowing full well Alice would throw it out as soon as we found a suitable replacement. Jake had also found suitable attire and I pulled him to me with all my strength. We had a whole three minutes before we'd be interrupted by an annoyingly perky pixie. He held me for another minute and then sat me down and brushed my hair. Jake's closeness helped calm my raging hormones. Once was never enough with Jake. He whispered a few ideas in my ear about what I could buy today. I'm sure Alice wouldn't mind going lingerie shopping but I did worry they would only last one wearing.

Alice rang the bell at eight sharp and Jake answered the door. Alice gave him a second glance as she followed the paddle brush in his hand and looked at me. I shook my head, grabbed my purse and tried to give Jake a chaste kiss but he pulled me to him and we weren't going anywhere.

"Jake let her go or I'm going to use that brush on you. She's mine today. I'll bring her back tonight. Promise." Alice pulled the brush out of Jake's hand and it wasn't an empty threat.

"Ow! Alice!" he rubbed his backside as he let me go.

"I better go, Jake." Alice could obviously do much more damage and I really liked his backside in one piece.

"Tonight." he said, the one word full of meaning. Alice heard it better than I did and pulled me out the door and down the stairs. She opened the passenger door to the Porsche and waited until I got in and then slammed the door. She leapt over the car and got in the driver's seat. Good thing we didn't have observant neighbors.

I didn't want Alice to have the wrong idea.

"He was brushing my hair, Alice. Honest." I said.

"I know. But now you have another use for it." She laughed. I didn't want to know if Alice owned a paddle brush. She certainly didn't need one with her hairstyle.

And I finally said something I didn't think I'd ever say. "Let's focus on shopping Alice. Not talk about Jake." With this Alice, of course, is in her element. Alice discussed style and flair as well as colors for my complexion. She also went through bags, make-up, shoes, jewellery and a new watch. I put in my two cents thinking about pens and paper for note taking and a backpack so I could cart stuff around campus. At least I was practical. Alice nixed the back-pack and I nixed a Birkin (if she had it on order, oh well) – finally deciding on a stylish shoulder bag from Louis Vuitton. I have to remember this is Alice – but when I think of my summer wages the cost is simply ridiculous. I also refused to wear stilettos around campus and Alice was disappointed, she and I have much different comfort needs. I did get some cute pumps as well as some flats and then Alice caved and I got the most practical shoes of all – two pairs of runners. We bought minimal make-up and moisturizers; I didn't have time to apply it, besides I think my skin is somehow impervious to UV damage. Alice did embarrass me and took me to the condom aisle in the pharmacy. I picked out two boxes of our favorite brand despite Alice's encouragement to think outside the box. She found something that warmed and vibrated – I nixed it, not telling her it was because Jake already did both. She added four more boxes of the ones I picked out. We then did the same in the aisle for feminine hygiene products – here I was willing to try anything, mainly because nothing was working, so far.

I did find a few very nice designer shirts, pants and jeans for Jake, cutting off the tags – he doesn't like extravagance any better than I do. I say this and then Alice pulled me into Tiffany's and I was absolutely caught up in the sparkles. I thought about a bracelet but settled on a watch, extravagant but it did have a use. I didn't need another ring-ever. And my locket had only once been off my neck and that was only to get a longer chain. I thanked Alice profusely for the watch and then she surprised me even further and picked out the matching one for Jake. He would flip. We continued down the mall and I didn't even have to ask Alice when I saw Victoria's Secret. Alice dragged me in and started picking out some daring attire. I wouldn't wear a shirt that exposed my midriff in public but everything she handed me I decided would be perfect in the right context and I got a shiver imaging Jake seeing me in each article. I think she was expecting backlash and was taken completely aback when I nodded approval to all of her choices. And even more so when I picked out something for her.

Alice forgot I have to eat so by three I was feeling a little faint and Alice a little guilty. I recharged with a shake and salad and wondered if Jake was making dinner. At least the stores close at six – I could be home as early as six thirty with Alice's driving skills. Things were looking up.

The next three hours were tantamount to torture. I didn't think there was a changing room in the whole mall I didn't see or a piece of Alice-approved clothing I didn't try on. Some were too Alice, some showed too much cleavage but on the whole Alice knew what I'd actually wear and we left with about ninety percent of the stuff I tried on. Jake got a few more standard items – t-shirts and boxers, Alice was almost as bad as Emmett when I confessed to ripping Jake's clothing off on numerous occasions. When we were finally done even Alice had difficulty squeezing our haul into the back of the Porsche.

I called Jake before we got on the highway. The cell company might be confused if we pinged off 10 different towers in a matter of minutes. When we got home Jake had made a salad, homemade burgers and yam fries. He poured me a glass of merlot as I walked in the door.

He held out the bottle "Alice, can I tempt you? It looks a lot like what you usually drink."

Good thing Alice's hands were full of packages so all she could do was roll her eyes. Initial greeting aside, Alice was surprisingly thankful Jake had given me up for the day. She ushered us to the table and even poured us more wine.

"Eat. I'll unload." Alice flitted up and down the stairs a few times before going into our bedroom and closing the door. Nothing was sacred with Alice. Jake and I had a delicious meal and finished the wine. We so rarely drink we were both a little tipsy. I kissed him and told him about most of the shopping. I hoped Alice would bring out his watch…and the lingerie could wait until Alice headed home.

"Alice?"

"Almost done Ness." A few minutes later Alice did bring out our watches and Jake was speechless.

"You're welcome." Was all Alice said to Jake's shock. "Now Jake. If you clean up a bit, I'm going to borrow Ness, then head home."

She basically carried me into the bedroom. There were no bags on the bed. Everything was in the closet or the drawers. She had even cleaned out our condom drawer – god help her! I knew there had been a bunch of wrappers and empty boxes in there. I really hoped we hadn't dropped a used one in there by accident. She showed me where all my new things were and it was probably exactly where I would have put them. I had to thank her. She then threw something small and red at me.

"Put it on." I looked more closely. It was two somethings. A bra and panties from one of my many new items of lingerie. She even had the gall to open the condom drawer and put one on the table.

"Have a good night, Ness. I had fun. I'll send your man in in five. Then, let's hope I can leave fast enough." She kissed me and waved "See you tomorrow."

I took a deep breath and picked up the lingerie. I stripped and ran the shower for a quick rinse then dried and put on the lace see through panties and bra. Neither item was functional. But I looked at myself in the mirror and was pleased so there was no way Jake wouldn't be. But I didn't know what to do next. I wasn't seductive. Do I pretend to be asleep or wait until Jake comes in and strut out of the bathroom. I was nervous. I decided to just sit on the bed. That seemed to be Alice's cue. "Don't forget the alarm Jake. Goodnight!"

I heard Alice leave, then the beeping as he set the alarm. Then Jake. He was nervous too. He actually knocked.

"Come in Jake."

I was sitting sideway on the bed covering up, but I could tell he could see enough as he let out a guttural moan. I became a little bolder and stood. "Do you like it, Jake?" He was suddenly around me. Taking in my lips, my tongue and my neck. He traced the lines of the material with every finger. I tried to reach his pants but he pulled away. He caressed the material over my breasts and as there was barely anything there my nipples responded. Jake threw back the blankets and placed me on the sheet still caressing my breast and my panty line. I felt exposed but watching Jake revel in my body was turning me on. A part of me would have been very happy if he had just put the condom on that Alice left on the dresser. But this was new. He kissed my arms and down to my toes, then turned me over to nuzzle at my neck, then cupping my rear, each cheek in a hand, massaging my derriere, I sighed as he pressed me into the mattress. I was more than aroused but the mattress much too soft to bring me to climax. I wriggled and Jake finally turned me to him again. I reached for him but he had other ideas. Licking my panty line and then settling with his mouth between my legs. Breathing heavily right against the scrap of material. He finally answered my question. "I like it very much."

My next moan was too much, I heard Jake's zipper split, he sighed which cause me to moan again. Jake pulled my panties down and off. His tongue could now reach and at first he licked gently, parting until he found the tender center. As soon as he licked and sucked I cried out.

Jake murmured "Oh Nessie" stilled nuzzled in my groin, licking and sucking. I couldn't stay still. Jake whispering "I want to taste all of you" was accompanied by his tongue in my vagina and ripples of contractions.

"OH Jake!" I cried out. But I needed him closer. I pulled him up and he nuzzled my neck. He was nowhere near done. I did manage to release him from his split pants and he sighed. I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt but got them undone and his shirt finally off. It was my turn to caress him but he didn't have the restraint left. He whipped off his pants and boxers and put on the condom. I guided him in. Jake started to thrust and pant. That only meant one thing – he was holding back. I pulled him down harder guiding his hips for only a few thrusts until he collapsed on me. I could feel the force of his ejaculate against my walls, briefly wondering if the condom had survived intact though I didn't want to move Jake to check. I didn't think I'd be upset if it hadn't. It was my turn to massage his back and buttocks. Jake didn't want to remove my bra caressing the material as he nibbled my neck. When we finally did separate the condom had performed like it should. I opened the condom drawer for another package and swore. Jake looked up at my comment and I had to show him that Alice did leave the vibrating condoms she'd picked out behind. Jake took one look at the box, ripped it open put one on. I must admit at first I was a little skeptical though once it touched me in that spot I was sold. Jake was intrigued too. Maybe we played with it too long before getting down to business, Jake was using our new toy and I could feel I was so close again but then the battery died. Jake came with the change in our motion and I tried to follow but couldn't. Bless Jake, he understood my problem and set to solve it himself, with his lips and tongue. I cried out with an ecstasy and a love for Jake only a few minutes later. And a few minutes after that. No batteries required. Jake gets all the credit.


	41. Chapter 40: Carlisle's Call

**Carlisle's Call**

 _I was on a beach sipping a mai tai under the noon day sun, Jake was opening the sunscreen again for another thorough application to all my delicate areas that rarely see the light of day and I was quivering in anticipation at his touch._ Ring. The image went fuzzy…ring… damn. Who's calling at 2 am? I woke groggily and groped for my phone.

"Ness. There's an emergency … a young girl. Ectopic pregnancy – I think, but she won't let me do an exam. I need your help. She's afraid. Can you come right now?" Carlisle was speaking so fast I could barely keep up and he sounded desperate.

"On my way." I stood, dressed, wrote a quick note to Jake and was out the door and at the clinic in four minutes.

"Carlisle, I'm here. What can I do?"

"Talk to her for consent. This should really be done at the hospital but we'll manage if she lets us. Right now she's terrified. I figured she might listen to someone closer to her age, someone with some experience in the exams I need to do. She's bleeding . If it is what I think it is she will need surgery stat. She will die or will need a full hysterectomy if we don't hurry. Please, Nessie. I'll be back shortly."

I walked into the room and was initially in shock. Young yes…13 at the most. I had to recover, I picked up the chart, put it down again, took a breath and then a step.

"Go Away!" was my greeting as she sat up and shot daggers at me and then collapsed in pain. I didn't listen and rushed over to help her lay down. I grabbed an extra pillow and a sheet.

"It will be more comfortable if you sit up a little." I didn't know this for sure but it sure seemed to help for my cramps. She let me put the pillow behind her back and lay down with a sigh. Her tough exterior seemed to vanish.

"Thanks."

No problem. I'm Ness. I volunteer here."

"Lizzie."

"So, Lizzie…" I didn't know how to begin. "Has Carlisle …uh… Dr. Cullen told you what's happening?"

"He thinks there's something wrong, that I'm pregnant but it's not normal."

"Lizzie, it's ok. I know you're scared. I was too once, but he helped me just like he wants to help you. But he has to know what's wrong. To know he has to put gel on your stomach to see pictures, can he do that?"

Lizzie nodded. I showed her on me where this would happen and helped her pull off her jacket and tuck up her shirt. Her shorts were low-rise so shouldn't interfere. I didn't want to scare her. I called Carlisle making sure she stayed covered and he came in.

"Lizzie, I'm Carlisle, Ness is my granddaughter, by adoption, of course." She looked a little shocked but recovered. "I asked her to talk with you because she needed these tests done recently." He went on to explain the ultrasound and she agreed to the exam immediately – it wasn't good news. When Carlisle left to 'get the other one' ready as well as left a specimen cup on the counter I knew I had work to do. Lizzie was beginning to trust me and Carlisle but it would take a leap of faith for the next exam.

"Lizzie? You're bleeding. Carlisle needs to see… to try to stop this." Explaining about the wand and the monitor was a challenge but she seemed to understand. What helped the most though when I told Lizzie that Carlisle had to do this to me, that I also had an emergency. She relaxed and undressed, I helped her to the washroom to clean up and also provided the specimen container. It certainly wasn't a clean sample but Carlisle could deal.

"How…how could you tell him?" she asked me. "My mom doesn't know. I only told my diary." I obviously couldn't lie but it wasn't the whole truth.

"Carlisle is a great doctor. I had bleeding and cramps and my boyfriend and I well … Carlisle kinda guessed …mine wasn't as serious, I think. He's more worried about you. "

"Let's do this. You'll stay?" I nodded; she sounded more confident than I had. And I had Jake, Lizzie has a virtual stranger helping her through. A young girl but she was sure determined. We were making progress.

I helped her back onto the table and gave her another few cloths. Then made sure all the bloody towels were in the closed bathroom.

"Carlisle" I called, louder than I had to, of course. He knocked and wheeled in the device. I actually think he brought it from home. This clinic didn't have money for fancy equipment. Asking me to get her set up and taking the sample with him. I showed her the wand and she was more adept than I at the project. Carlisle came back and confirmed the ectopic pregnancy in the fallopian tube and the risk of rupture. She agreed to the surgery. Carlisle went to work with no anesthetist, and his own surgical kit. Yes, he did get everything from home. He was done in less than ten minutes. Lizzie was still asleep.

"Thank-you, Ness. A few more minutes, I could hear it was going to rupture. We would have been in trouble. She's too young for our life." Oh, it just hit me that it was that close. She didn't know.

"Carlisle, will she be ok?"

"She'll wake soon. I'll give her something for pain. Humans are easy. It's you my dear that's the conundrum. Good thing I spent a whole day reviewing the procedure recently. The outcome may have been different otherwise."

"You were that worried, Carlisle? Good thing you hide it well. I trusted you and Lizzie trusted you. What happens when...if…. Jake and I have a baby?"

"I'm already working on my obs/gyne specialty Ness. Of course it doesn't take into account the wolf-vampire angle but don't worry, I'll be ready." He said. "But give me a couple years - at least" he said as an afterthought.

"We'll try, Carlisle. I do want to finish my degree. But I'm not going to give it back if it happens sooner, ok?" He kissed my head reminding me I have forever.

I got home at six-thirty, Jake was still sound asleep and stretched out across the whole bed. Carlisle was going to stay for the morning shift to monitor her and I'd get in early for my volunteer shift to check on Lizzie.

In the meantime I had a shower and tried to cuddle in beside Jake but I jostled him as I tried to carve out a little corner beside his massive frame. "Ness, I love you" he said groggily and I loved how even in his subconscious state he was thinking of me. Then, I heard him whisper "Happy birthday, Ness" and I cringed. Sept 10. Technically, he was right but it wasn't something he would dare bring up if he was awake. With the exception of my first birthday I had always hated today.

I kissed him just wanting him to forget and fell asleep only to be woken at eight to the smell of coffee. "Jake, coffee?" I called. He didn't hesitate and brought us both a steaming mug and climbed into bed.

I snuggled into him as I sipped. I told him about the night and I loved how he thought I was the hero, it was Carlisle. But Jake wouldn't hear of it. He said Carlisle could have just saved her life – drugged her and cut it out then dropped her at a hospital for someone to ponder over what was done… I think he said something else too but by then I was back on the beach being caressed…

I woke and Jake had left me a note saying he'd gone to work and he didn't want to wake me. When I got to the clinic I went to find Lizzie. She was with her mom. That's when I knew Jake wasn't just talking, I had made a difference.

"Ness!" She got up wincing just a little to hug me.

"Take it easy, Lizzie. How are you feeling?"

"Gooood! Carlisle got me on drugs!" she was definitely high.

"Thank-you, Ness" her mom came up to give me a hug as well. "Thank-you for saving my little girl. She told me you were the reason she called me, and I'm grateful."

"I had a dream I was attacked by wolves but saved by a vampire, it was freaky weird!" Lizzie said suddenly and loudly as I opened the bathroom door. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves.

"It's probably the blood, Lizzie. Blood. Vampires." I laughed as casually as I could as I closed the door again. "And you likely saw this." I showed her my engagement ring with the lone wolf. "You sure do have a vivid imagination."

"Yeah, I guess. So that boyfriend of yours, he gave you that?"

"Yes."

"Mine dumped me after we…" Lizzie trailed off. Her mom was still in the room.

I sat down with her. "Not all guys are like that, Lizzie. But maybe give yourself a little more time to have fun. Hang out with some girlfriends. Hey, you said you like to write. Write a story about …what was it? A wolf and a vampire. Maybe a mermaid or an alien. Do what you like to do. When you meet a great guy who shares your interests then you'll know. We all mess up. I knew my guy for six years before I was sure he was the one for me. But you know what? The wait is worth it in the end."

"Six years?"

"Yeah. Actually, we met exactly seven years ago today. I was younger than you." No need to say how young exactly. Strange that it was easier to talk with Lizzie about this than Jake.

"Thanks, Ness."

"Come back anytime. I'll give you the spiel Carlisle gave me about safer sex. We've both learned the hard way that adult decisions come with adult consequences. But, your mom probably has a lot of answers too. She might surprise you, sometimes it might even seem like she can read your mind."

"Very true." Lizzie laughed and winced again. Her mom hugged me again, and then asked me to thank 'the adorable Dr. Cullen' I said I would but then I didn't have to as he came in to review with Lizzie and her mom the procedure, precautions and possible complications as well as made sure she had some medication for pain. I could tell he was as attached to Lizzie as I was, usually the nurses would handle these details. Lizzie and her mom left arm in arm thereafter.

Carlisle cornered me after they left. "Good cover Ness. I thought she was still way under or maybe she's just more perceptive. She's going to be a feisty one as she gets older. I think you gave her a lot to think about."

"At least she gets the chance, thanks to you 'the adorable Dr. Cullen'" I grinned. Carlisle hugged me and left as I went to start my shift. After my week of shadowing and this experience I decided I was most definitely going to get involved in the counselling program.

That night, Jake made a special dinner and dessert, served me wine and gave me too many kisses to count. But not once did he mention my birthday.


	42. Chapter 41: Trouble with Mike

**Trouble with Mike**

Four weeks later, it's getting close to midterms, and I hurry and dress and leave with Jake, I'll have nearly an hour to study before English. My biggest challenge will be Chemistry but I as long as I memorize the formulas it shouldn't be too taxing. I've always wondered why I can't show myself my own memories. Really it would make exams that much easier, unfortunately it hasn't worked yet - but not for a lack of trying. Before English I did a practice midterm essay, then after class, reviewed my notes before Psychology. Nicole was in our usual spot when I got to class and we caught up from Monday and discussed our weekend ahead. Nothing too thrilling planned for either of us as we both have a heavy course load and exams. The professor wound up droning on and on about the perception of color and I thought I might close my eyes to rest for the last couple minutes when out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash. Imperceptible to the rest of the class but my heart was now thudding. Edward was three rows behind me. He had class. Something was wrong – really wrong - to risk exposure in a lecture hall of three hundred. Jake? I thought more like a scream went through my head as I glanced at dad and he shook his head carefully. Charlie? Again, no. Billy? A nod. My heart dropped. Dead? No. Hurt? Yes. My heart sped. I couldn't ask the questions I wanted to ask and I needed to call Jake. I wanted to shout at the professor – who cares about the infrared spectrum, we can't see it. The only one who could shouldn't even be sitting in the damn class. Class last a dreaded 216 more agonizing seconds until we were finally told Fridays' class was our last one that pertained to our midterm scheduled on the following Friday. As everyone was leaving Edward came up beside me to whisper, 'He's going to be ok." I let out the breath I think I'd been holding since Edward came in the room. Before I could think, Edward leaned over me.

"Hi, I'm Edward. Ness's uncle." He waved rather than offer his hand.

"Nicole."

"I'm sorry to steal your study partner but I will need to borrow Ness today. She's be back Friday so you can cram for midterms."

Nicole was tongue tied and just nodded. I wanted out of there so just confirmed "Friday" as she nodded to me as well and Edward and I walked (he held me back) up the lecture hall and out to the lobby. Bella met us and we walked out the doors and down the steps to the lawn.

"Tell me. NOW." I didn't know how I had survived the last five minutes but I wanted answers.

Bella sat down and pulled me with her.

It was worse than I feared. The first word out of Edwards's mouth was "Mike."

"Mike. He went to the res. He found Billy and threatened him. Cowardly asshole to threaten Billy, but Billy doesn't take things standing still, wouldn't give up your whereabouts. Mike had a knife, cut him up pretty bad and then tore through the house and found Billy's phone bill – Mike knows we're in New Hampshire. Mike was out of control, he came back at Billy with the knife intent on more damage, but Sam, Embry and Paul leapt through the glass snapping at Mike. It was very dangerous - I think it was the shock of the wolves that saved them all, Sam said he saw a .45 tucked into the back of Mike's jeans. Mike took off and they had to help Billy so couldn't follow."

"Billy wouldn't let them call for an ambulance – they had to call Seth first, who called me. Sam and Paul got Billy to the ER and he's being treated right now. Embry called Jake. Billy will need close monitoring for infection and healing; Carlisle's already talked to his friends and we're going to get him into a rehab facility so he can fully heal before going home. And we're fixing the house. Billy will be fine. Billy is very worried about you and Jake. We're all going to worry about both of you from now on."

"Mike is coming here." I understood. I didn't care. I started to panic. "How's Jake? Where's Jake?"

"Emmett's with him. At the garage. He's holding him there for now. Jake almost took off to come here for you. We told him you're safe. Call him and tell him we'll be back right after two. You can't miss Chem. "

"WHAT?"

"The earliest Mike will be at the airport is six and he still doesn't know what city we're in. We'll get your stuff. You're coming home."

I wanted to protest but dad would win. He nodded.

"Jake?"

"Of course." I trembled in my parents arms while I called Jake.

"Ness! Are you ok? With Edward? Emmett wouldn't let me – I'm sorry!"

"Jake. Don't worry about me. Yeah, dad's here and Bella too. Call your dad. I'm sorry too Jake. I'll be there right after two. I'm being forced to attend class. I love you." He kissed me through the receiver as I hung up and dried my eyes. What the hell was I going to pay attention to in Chem?

Dad answered my thoughts. "You're going to relax. First, you're going to have lunch."

He bought me a salad and shake, my staple so far this semester. I picked at the salad – ate a piece of lettuce and a cucumber. My stomach was in knots. I was about to push the salad away but Edward pushed it closer to me first, then grabbed a cherry tomato, threw it in the air and swallowed it whole. That did the trick as I coughed a laugh and started picking at my salad again. I even had half the shake before we headed to class.

Dad took perfect notes for his evolution of plants course while sitting with me in Chem. He also kept my notes up as I doodled aimlessly on the page waiting for class to end. At least I thought my doodles were aimless until I saw a gun and three wolves staring back at me through the page at the end of class.

Mom met us at the car and not until this minute have I ever told Edward to drive faster. We made it to the garage in seven minutes, the Ferrari sure can move. The second we stopped I leapt out and ran to Jake who was finishing up with a flat. He dropped everything and pulled me to his lips caressing my cheek and my collarbone with his thumb before he remembered his hands were filthy. He went to step away and I drew him back to me not able to let go. I murmured that I'd missed him, love him and he did the same. I felt safe in his arms, worried, but safe.

"Jake" I asked after just a few seconds, "how's Billy?"

"He's fine… he's ok… Ness. I called him three times he's being moved to a unit soon. He's stitched up and bandaged and they've got him on some drugs for infection and pain. Carlisle is keeping tabs. Don't worry. We need to keep you safe." Then he turned to Edward. "We're coming back to the house, if that's ok?"

Jake asking, dad just nodding. I was the only one shaking my head.

"Jake?"

"You'll be safe, Ness. They'll protect you."

"No."

"OK. They'll protect me then." Jake conceded and Edward shook his head vehemently.

I looked between them. Something was being kept from me. Edward had obviously kept it from me.

"Jake… what don't I know?"

He hung his head. Not wanting to tell me. I was desperate enough to call Leah, ask her for Sam's number. She wouldn't speak to me ever again but Jake pulled the phone from my hand before I could dial.

"It's ok, Ness. We'll both be safe. Mike…he threatened Billy. I haven't heard it from Embry yet and Billy could barely get the words out. But it had something to do with a lot of bullets and my funeral."

Edward glared at Jake, as tears started streaming down my cheeks.

"We won't let that happen Ness." Edward's voice was even. One human, eight vampires – it couldn't be a contest, could it?

"Ness. We'll go home and pack, just let me shower." Jake said as he tried to pull me off him and I let him. Then I followed him to the bathroom and closed the door behind us both.

I didn't talk. I just kissed him and undressed him. Then I took my own clothes off and ran the water. I pulled him under the industrial spray and grabbed some body wash for both of us. I needed to know he was real and whole. I soaped his chest, he scrubbed his hands , then he soaped my cheek and neck and collarbone clean under the stream of water. He took the shampoo next and lathered my hair, careful to not let the soap run in my eyes. He rinsed my hair and let me return the favor. We washed each other's lower bodies with gentle sensual caresses. I kissed him to whisper, "Jake, this is how your body stays, not a scratch." I still had tears of fear but he kissed them away.

Once we were dressed we kissed again and opened the door. I hadn't even locked it. There were four vampires on the other side of the door, there was no point.

"OK. Let's go." was all I said as I led the way to the car holding hands with Jake. Edward gave Jake the keys and Bella and Edward managed to squeeze into the back seat. Emmett just said he'd see us at home after five, promising Jake Rose would finish with the tire. Jake and I picked up a few things, mostly for him since I still had a bunch of stuff I could use at the house. When we got there Esme was making us stuffed chicken breasts with garlic mashed potatoes and veggies. Jake hadn't eaten lunch – he hadn't had Edward to goad him – so he more than made up for it at dinner. Jake smiled after every bite of potatoes – it's a running joke in his head that even after eight years hadn't waned. Garlic. Esme, obviously very aware of this, was chuckling quietly. As tense as I was I did try to appreciate the effort. We sat on the couch after dinner. I kissed Jake, garlic and all, as we cuddled. I was at ease with Jake and my family at last. Billy called twice letting us know he had a room and tried to tell us he was fine. We weren't fooled- he sounded like he was in a lot of pain and Carlisle had to encourage him to take more medication. The minutes ticked by to six o'clock. Everyone was on high alert thereafter. Even more so when Edward decided I was going to school tomorrow. I was against it. Though he knew something I didn't. Emmett and Rose would mind the garage. Alice and Jasper would come for additional support and Jake was going to come to class at least tomorrow and Friday. I was interested to show Jake the campus and he could meet Nicole and Nathan. We'd need a plan for the following week but I wasn't going to go there yet.

Jake and I took our stuff up to my room. Our room, now, I guess. After my shopping spree a few weeks ago I thought Alice had bought everything I could ever use for the next four years. But no. My room had more new clothes. And more condoms. I threw them in the drawer but not before Jake saw even though he pretended not to notice. I dumped my undies in with my bras and my pants with my PJs so Jake could have a couple of drawers. I folded and put Jake's stuff away and we climbed into bed in our clothes. I didn't know how long we'd be here but Jake and I would manage. Somehow.

Jake leaned over me to set the alarm – late. No need to get up for our run. Or spend extra time in bed awake. I sighed as Jake caressed me and turned out the light.

Jake was a model student on Thursday and Friday. He met my friends, understood Nicole when she was talking about psychosis ("like having many voices inside your head at once – sounds awful") and was able to have a great conversation with Nathan about needing a catalyst for reaction to cause a change. Nathan was talking about a chemical compound, Jake – a vampire or a wolf. I liked the analogies. Jake even took notes in all of my classes. I was beyond impressed, and we kissed each other to sleep each night knowing my family was keeping us safe and together. Carlisle went to the clinic with me on Thursday night while Jake went to class with Emmett and Rosalie. I was worried the whole evening but still managed to meet with patients and even started to lead a few sessions in my new counselling role. Jake finished early and made Rosalie and Emmett wait outside the clinic for Carlisle and me. It worked out well as I felt better with my arms around Jake and Carlisle didn't have to run me home before his night shift. Friday was similar and Esme enjoyed trying out a new recipe for Jake and I that night.

The following week I was more nervous. Jake was back at work. I was at school but Edward was always sitting beside me in class. He still took his own notes and he made sure I ate lunch but he was hypervigilant. I couldn't move without Edward moving first. He was monitoring every one of my thoughts and it was driving me crazy. Especially since most of my thoughts were of Jake's safety. He kept reassuring me he was fine. Of course, we're out of Dad's telepathic range and he couldn't know that which is basically what I wanted to scream at him for the fiftieth time every day and he knew that too. The days were long without Jake, evenings were alright, it had been a while since we'd been at the house on a daily basis and though everyone was stressed they tried to make Jake and my stay as comfortable as possible. Esme's cooking skills were amazing and I did catch her watching the Food Network in the mornings so she could impress us every evening. Nights were our challenge. Jake and I went up to bed and held one another and kissed as much as we dared but we knew what we wanted wasn't possible given our current situation. We slept fully dressed, just like we had when I lived at home but even that wasn't helping my libido. Jake's either. We'd wake in the morning fully entangled, Jake's hard on evident even through his jeans and he'd apologize and head for the shower. My vivid imagination went into overdrive about what he did in there which caused me want to peek. It was a very long week and we were nowhere close to finding Mike.

That Saturday, ten days in the house guarded and safe, Jake and I woke and looked at each other. We were both not able to shift our gaze. Jake pulled me to him, I pulled him on top of me. We were still dressed but it didn't matter – we ground against each other and couldn't stop. The friction, the passion, I shook into him and he sucked my neck to stop himself from crying out as I felt the wetness seeping through my jeans. We held still for many a moment until we ran the shower, both blushing.

Jake opened his mouth but I shushed him. We washed and dressed in clean clothes. I held him again me willing him not to say sorry.

"Breakfast, Jake?" he just blushed and shook his head and caressed my neck that now had a large hickey. I blushed again; he'd never done that before.

I grabbed the hamper and loaded everything in. The laundry room was two doors down, hopefully, I'd run into no one on the way. I kissed Jake and pointed at the laundry the door and me and sat him down. He'd wait, I kissed him with a finger to my lips. I threw everything in the washer and started it. At least there was nothing red – Jake wouldn't want pink boxers. I ran back to the room and to Jake. I kissed and held him again – we couldn't hide forever. We had to go down. It was done. I pulled him up.

"Breakfast, Jake." I opened the door, and dragged him towards the stairs. He stopped me and pulled me to him before we got there and did up one more button on my shirt and gave me another quiet kiss. We could do this. And we walked downstairs. Rose had sat Emmett at the piano and was teaching him a piece. Alice and Jasper were playing chess. Carlisle was reading a textbook. Esme was pulling out some eggs.

"Toast and eggs?" She asked. I smiled and nodded. Jake found his voice faster than I did and said "Thanks, Esme" and he went into the kitchen to help. I sat at the table while Jake put on the toast and grabbed utensils.

Carlisle looked up. " 'morning." He'd done the same thing the last few days. Jake helped Esme bring our breakfast out. Jake served himself 6 eggs and four pieces of toast, and a more reasonable two and two for me. We started eating when Edward and Bella came running in.

"Nothing yet guys." Edward reported to the household.

" 'morning you two." Bella gave me a kiss on my head. "glad you're up. Studying today?"

Jake answered "Yeah, Bella. Lots of work to do. I'm going in with Rose and Emmett for a bit though. Want to come, Ness?"

"Thanks, Jake. I can study psyc and chem. I'll save you a place on the couch." I really just wanted Jake to sit with me when he had a free minute or two but Jake remembered our early rendez-vous about said couch and started to blush. Edward was being remarkably quiet. Everyone really. Especially Emmett.

I finished eating and just watched Jake intently as he finished his breakfast. I was going to take the dishes but Esme shooed us away.

"Go to work, I'll finish up here." Esme said.

I was headed to my school bag when I heard the washer ring. I pulled Jake up the stairs before I could look at Edward and we holed up in the laundry room. We were both beet red as we put most of the load into the dryer and Jake hung up my bra and panties. Then he felt the ones I was wearing. I kissed him and was panting but I had to stop him. My turn to apologize this time but he waved me off with one sexy word "Later." I didn't know when later would be, but it seemed like it had just gotten earlier.

We left the laundry room, I grabbed my books and we headed back downstairs. Emmett and Rose were already in the Jeep.

I hugged both my parents; no one looked worried. But then they also didn't look like they had any idea what Jake and I had been up to an hour or even five minutes ago. It was all part of the lie. I was hoping it would continue.

I reviewed all my Psyc notes and the last chapter we covered on Friday. I needed to stretch and got up and found Jake working on some spread sheets. I interrupted him with a kiss and he sat me in his lap as he worked. Jake finished with his task turned to me.

"I'll sleep on the couch."

"Not the solution, Jake."

"It is if we'll survive in the house for the next week. And Ness what do we do the following weekend?"

"I don't know, we'll have to talk about it soon. I'm sure Edward has a plan. I can't sleep without you Jake. We'll deal with the fallout. They were all amazingly quiet today. If that continues I'll be very happy. Especially Emmett. And…I had a fantastic morning." I kissed his ear and called Emmett before I could turn to Jake.

"What's next, Emmett? Jake's eager to work." Emmett managed to dig up some more paperwork and someone dropped off a car for an oil change. I rolled up my sleeves and left Jake with the stack of paperwork and went to tackle the oil change. I was finished quickly and back on the couch for my chem review. I wound up writing out all the formulas I thought I'd need and then reviewed my notes – I'd missed three. The exam was on Wednesday. I still had a little time. At two it was Jake's turn to sit in my lap until I gave up studying and put my hands up his shirt kissing his back. He pushed me onto the couch and followed putting us in a comfortable but compromising position. I let him caress my cheek and neck with his tongue, feeling him hardening on top of me. Only Emmett's call from the bay "We're done guys. Leaving…in five. Rose and I will be in the Jeep." was enough to stop me from disrobing Jake.

This gave us time to sit and pack up. Jake stood and tried to calm his breathing and rearrange his pants.

We got in and buckled up. Emmett's call of "Ready?" wasn't even laced with innuendo as we nodded and Emmett drove us home, my head on Jake's shoulder.

Esme was in the kitchen again, this time making a roast. While Jake I were being confined to the house she was determined to make sure we ate well. I gave her a hug but she wouldn't let us help in the kitchen. I knew Jake had to study for his exam and I needed to get going on Bio and Genetics. I flopped down on the bed with my genetics text to start reading about X-linked disorders, thanks to Carlisle I already had my hemophilia lecture. Jake grabbed his notes and joined me on the other side of the bed. Neither of us really thought this through. An hour later we'd each read about a paragraph, and were both on the verge of repeating the events of the morning. Jake was infinitely more restrained that me and was able to get up to tell me he was going for a cold shower. I took the opportunity to change, my panties and jeans already moist from anticipation. I was able to refocus at the desk and finished the chapter trying not to picture what Jake was up to without me. I did pick him out some fresh clothes and knocked on the door as soon as the water stopped running. He peered around the corner and looked grateful as I handed him the pile. When he was dressed he kissed me softly but then went to sit on the floor by the window with his notes. He was only ten feet away but I missed him.

We studied until my phone rang. Esme. Letting us know dinner would be ready in half-an-hour. She could have just knocked but it was nice that we were being given our space. Jake came over to talk with me. It seemed like he'd been studying but I didn't anticipate his next conversation. Though it was a solution to our current dilemma.

"Ness. It's pretty comfy over there" he nodded to his new study spot. "I'm going wolf tonight."

It took me a few minutes but I nodded. We both knew sleeping in bed together tonight would end far too well.

We also managed to discuss that studying at the dining room table would lead to more productive learning so we got up and brought our books downstairs. We learned from Carlisle that Alice and Jazz were running perimeter and saw Bella helping Esme set the table. Edward was hunting with Rose and Emmett. I asked Carlisle at dinner about doing up some slides with the stains we'd used in bio a few weeks ago and it turns out he already had them mounted with my cells and Jake's as well as Bella's as both human and vampire. I was intrigued and talked to him all through dinner about the similarities and differences in the cellular staining. Jake and I told Esme she outdid herself yet again but did remind her there was something called takeout and delivery. She was spending way too much time in the kitchen but she waved us away. Carlisle let me look at all the slides after dinner and the differences in Bella's samples was staggering, the ones between Jake and I, not so much. This had me thinking about babies again. Even on a cellular level Jake and I seemed compatible.

I came back down, not wanting to discuss my new knowledge with Jake yet, in the state I was in I might want to see if I was right about our compatibility for offspring right now. I even pulled up a chair two down from Jake while I reviewed bio so as not to give myself any more temptation. Jake got up at ten and gave me a kiss and caress that sped my heart like no other. The family stayed glued to the football game, even mom, who I knew could care less about football.

"Ness. I'll grab the laundry. Come up in fifteen if you're ready?" I nodded, saddened, knowing I wouldn't see Jake when I got upstairs.

I was right. Jake was curled up by the window and lifted his head as I came in. I walked over and buried my head in his fur stroking his neck.

"I love you, Jake. Goodnight." He let out a quiet bark. I changed in the bathroom since it would defeat the purpose to give the wolf a striptease. I crawled into bed and lay there not able to get comfortable. I was cold without Jake. And restless. By midnight I wanted to wake Jake but I turned over and he was still awake too, looking at me. I pulled the comforter and a pillow off the bed and went to lay with him. I buried my face in his neck and he held me with his front paw as we drifted off to sleep.

I woke, rested, with Jakes furry head on my chest, his eyes open, his tongue lolling on my nightshirt. I ran my hands through his fur down his head and his face, along his chin to his neck. Jake was purring. I cuddled closer to his form and wrapped us both in the comforter still stroking his face. We lay together for the better part of the morning revelling in our closeness. Jake was nuzzling my face and chest; I was running my fingers absentmindedly through his fur. It was already eleven when Jake lifted his head and nudged me out from the covers. I reluctantly went to shower and change then headed down to scrounge for breakfast and wait for Jake. Esme was ready for us and was just putting pancakes and sausages on the grill. When Jake came down Esme served him up breakfast and I grabbed a plate for myself. He kissed me good morning and I stroked his head, face and neck just like I had all morning but in his human form this now sent my hormones whirling. He pulled me to him for a deeper kiss not paying any attention to anyone else in the room.

"Ness, did you sleep well?" I could only nod, feeling my body respond to his now human touch.

After breakfast we needed to talk about the week ahead. Jake was going back to work again, me to school. I was worried that we'd again be separated. We each had our guard detail – Bella and Edward for me; Emmett and Rose for Jake.

After that discussion Jake brought up our other issue.

"Edward" Jake was so serious, "There's no sign of Mike. How much longer are we staying here?"

"As long as it takes."

"Then, I'm sure you recognize we have a problem" Jake didn't need to finish out loud. My fiancé wordlessly discussing my period dilemma with my father. Great. Not embarrassing at all. Right?

"I've thought of that Jake. Carlisle will be here. Bella and I will…stay too. Most likely."

"I've got Jasper and Alice, twenty miles out watching for trouble. And Emmett and Rosalie will be a little closer, they'll come back if there's Mike trouble." He then looked at Esme. She shook her head.

"Esme will keep Alice and Jasper company." He decided. At that Esme bolted from the room, distraught.

Edward was going after her when Carlisle put a hand on his shoulder. Edward stayed, Carlisle followed. I sighed and my eyes started to water. For Esme. The only grandmother I'd ever known terrified she might hurt me. I cried into Jake's shoulder. "Grandma. I love you. I understand." I said quietly. Edward comforted me and nodded, she got my message.

"Ness will need to hunt." Jake said.

Edward shook his head. "We have supplies."

Great. Drinking human blood and upsetting Esme. I'm a terrible person.

"It's not your fault either, Ness. The important thing is you're safe." Edward stressed.

"Carlisle should really go with Esme." I offered.

At that, it was dad's turn to look distraught. "He will stay with both of you all weekend. Your mom and I, well, we will both try." Like Esme he was laying out his weakness for all to see. _Sorry, dad_.

He made light of it. "If your mom and I join Emmett, he'll win enough to buy himself a Hummer. I don't want to see that truck in the garage. But if you'll be safe I'll buy him a matching pair."

Our dilemma at least partially resolved, Jake and I took our same seats at the table and studied. Jake was doing more than that though. It looked like he was redesigning Emmett's spreadsheets and month end reports – I hoped he'd get extra credit or at least some recognition from Emmett. As for me, I couldn't help read a few further chapters in genetics. I was so excited about my discussion with Carlisle yesterday I just wanted to know what we'd be learning next. The genetics lab experiment was coming along but counting and categorizing fruit flies between classes was getting to be monotonous. I think I had the gene mutations in my sample figured out but I'd need a few more breeding cycles to be sure. At this point, I was positive I'd ace the exam in my sleep, so I started the outline for my final paper and it morphed into an almost finished project by six – I just had to add the final results once I collected them. I also had English sewn up. Chem, I figured I'd review again tonight.

I was getting hungry and thinking of pizza. Esme still hadn't come back down and Jake and I really could be self-sufficient. "Jake, should we order pizza?" I asked.

Even before Jake answered, Esme appeared. "Pizza it is, Ness. I already made dough. I just need to get it together and in the oven. A half-hour." I got up to help. Esme busied herself getting the toppings set up and wouldn't look at me. I got the dough and separated it for two pies and started rolling – if I threw it, it would probably stick to the ceiling. I looked again at Esme and she was shaking, I took the pizza sauce out of her hands and wrapped her around my waist.

"Grandma, please, please don't feel guilty. I love you and always will. I'm sorry we have to steal Carlisle. Bella and Edward think they might want to join you, depending on how things go." I think knowing she wasn't the only one with weaknesses helped Esme a bit.

"I love you too, Ness. Be safe."

When we served the pizza, Jake was in heaven. Better than delivery, for sure. I did a practice Chemistry midterm after dinner and got 100% so was feeling pretty darn confident. Jake kissed me and headed up to bed without a word. I would once again curl up with my favorite wolf.


	43. Chapter 42: Hunted

**Hunted**

The next day, we left for school before Jake was up. Yes, I was fully aware it was because Dad knew all my thoughts. I didn't know how to change them. It was so embarrassing. I studied in the car, just because. Dad was still tailing me closely but couldn't enter classes in which I had exams though I knew he was right outside the door listening to everything, for my safety, but I hated it. Wanting Jake to rip my clothes off and take me again and again when we got home, whenever I could really go back home was going through my head the minute I finished both exams. I thought I aced both English and Chemistry even with my errant thoughts, and I still had lecture in Psych – the midterm wasn't until Friday. I would have preferred to get it over with. After lab, we headed back to the house and I reviewed for my Bio midterm as I waited for Jake. They got home promptly at five. Seeing Jake human for the first time today was electrifying. The wolf thing was working at night to keep my libido at bay but when it tripled the minute I saw him human I'm not sure it was really effective. My family would notice if we went at it like rabbits in the middle of the living room. Edward wasn't even flinching on the couch, just seemingly absentmindedly changing the channel, which, of course, he doesn't do. Jake was, thankfully, distracted by Esme's cinnamon buns and started scarfing. And Esme had also left roast beef sandwiches in the fridge since she and Carlisle had gone hunting. We were being totally spoiled. When we got home it would be back to take out and the occasional salad or stir-fry. But at least I'd get Jake – alone.

Jake had four cinnamon buns over the course of the evening. I studied for a bit, then eventually rested my head against his chest as we sat on the couch with the whole family. I fell asleep in Jake's arms watching football.

I woke in the middle of the night, disorientated, still dressed, Jake, still human, in bed with me wrapped around my pelvis with his shirt off. I couldn't even fight the urge to kiss him and touch him. I rolled him onto his back but he didn't wake as I cuddled into his chest. I caressed his chest down to his navel with my hands and then my tongue. So sweet. At first he just slept on, then Jake stared murmuring "Nessie, oh, Nessie" I kissed him to quiet him, knowing the whole household would hear but I still couldn't resist his body. I undid his pants for comfort and he sprang forth. I undressed to lay beside him hoping this would be enough to quell my urges, but then I pulled off his jeans. I peeked into his boxers to see a part of Jake I hadn't seen for a week and hadn't touched for more than that long. Leaning closer, I exhaled and he reacted with his hips and a desperate cry "Nessie!" I couldn't stop and reached out for his penis and stroked as he hardened further. I kissed his glans and took just his tip in my mouth. He wasn't awake so I guess that's why they call a wet dream.

"Yeah, Nessie. Like that. I love you." He continued to writhe. I sucked again to an immediate response "Please, Nessie!" It took a little longer but I got the result I craved as he pulsed in my mouth calling my name. I pulled his boxers back up to let him sleep, caressing his chest again and brushing my lips to his. It would be wrong to grind against him for my own release, I thought, as I fell into a fitful sleep.

I woke to kisses on my abdomen as I groaned, "Oh, Jake." I pulled him to my lips and our tongues said a thorough good morning. Jake cradled my backside and pressed into me with his whole body. I took his boxers down and turned him on top of me. We were dangerously close to our last mistake. I opened the drawer and ripped open the box, pulled out a condom and sheathed him quickly.

Jake was shocked and bent down to whisper "Are you sure, Ness?" I knew if I said no Jake would get up and deal. I wouldn't. I was desperate for him. So I nodded and if that wasn't enough, spread my legs in invitation. He pressed against my opening and I sighed. I willed myself not to cry out as he nudged me open, stretching. I put his hands behind me and pressed him in. I was so tight. I sighed as my breath caught. Jake pressed again but couldn't gain entry. I whimpered in frustration. I pressed into him harder but there was a barrier, pressing again and again it stretched but wouldn't break. A memory of a thin white line on an ultrasound came back. Healed. Vampire skin heals itself. Damn.

"Jake. I think we need a plan B." I whispered. "I think I'm a virgin again." He understood. So did the whole house, but my focus was just on Jake.

There was a quick way to fix my little problem and then there was Jake. He went down on me licking and sucking and parting every fold. When he flicked his tongue on my clitoris I had to bury my face in a pillow so as not to call out. Jake spread my legs even further to bury his tongue deep in my vagina as he took his hand and rolled my clitoris between his fingers. He continued to suck and flick his tongue as I writhed and came with a whoosh of fluid Jake lapped up. I panted trying not to scream his name.

He smiled as he made his way back up my abdomen to my breasts that he hadn't touched forever. He nibbled on one, then the other then kissed my lips. When I made a face, he smiled. "I love how you taste, Ness." I shushed him. Well, if it wasn't evident what we were doing it was now. He blushed but still showed me a new condom. I nodded. If we were going to be mocked by Emmett we should do everything thoroughly. But that wasn't the real reason. Jake – I needed him so badly I would obviously do anything to make it real. He entered slowly, testing with slow careful strokes that I wanted to match but he held my hips. He reached the area of resistance and tested slowly pressing, massaging, exiting and entering until there was a snap and I recoiled with discomfort crying Jake's name which he cut off with a kiss. Now I pressed into him and there was no resistance. We smiled. He pulled me closer and closer until there was no space between our bodies. A light quiver of his penis sent shock waves through my body, I squeezed to milk him and he took my mouth and tongue for a ride. We repeated our 'I love yous' and were building to a powerful release. Jake held my hips again and thrust so deeply the bed shook and squeaked. Soon, he looked like on every thrust he was begging for release but wanted me with him. I moaned and writhed as a wave-like contraction developed deep within my vagina. Jake shuddered too and crushed my lips to contain our ecstasy. We continued to move and pulse together until the alarm rang. I caressed Jake's chest, still panting, heart racing, wondering how we would ever face the household. Jake thought of it too.

"Do we stay in here forever?" He asked. "Your whole family…"

Jake didn't yet know the impetus of my whole need to take him with my family outside the door. When I confessed, he groaned.

"That was the best dream ever, Ness."

"I did get to live out one of my fantasies" I admitted shyly. Though it would have been better if we'd really been alone.

"Shower, Jake?" he nodded and I brought a couple condoms, we were already in for a dollar. They were very much a necessity and we dried and dressed each other still needing to touch.

Now for the hardest part.

"Jake. I'll deal with Edward. No matter what Emmett says, don't react, please."

"Only for you, Ness. But then, given our recent activities, I can't even say I'd blame him." Jake said honestly as he kissed me again.

"Well, if I'm up for a big lecture in decorum at least we managed to solve our little problem with magnificent results."

"Do you want me to show you more results?" Jake asked under his breath.

"Jake!" I said just as quietly. I was tempted and my body was still in need. So was Jake's. "I think we have to face the music."

He nodded but looked at the bed with longing. It had been way too long for both of us and we were nowhere near quenched. I had a feeling he'd be imagining me on the couch a lot today. I would too.

I hesitated at the door "Let's go?" We opened it slowly and I thought fondly of when Jake and I would do our long runs after a marathon session in bed to clear our heads. For our safety we no longer had that outlet. I hoped it wouldn't affect Edward's sanity with graphic pictures of Jake's recent love-making dancing around in my head. At least it was twenty to eight. We only had five minutes of hell to deal with. Then I had Edward and Bella in the car for less than ten. Edward would hopeful take his frustrations out on the road and we'd be even faster.

We got downstairs. Esme had packed us breakfast and lunch. Carlisle gave us a wave. Alice straightened my collar. Jasper could sense our emotions and looked slyly at Alice. Rose was taping her foot. The only word out of Emmett's mouth which could have been filled with connotation when he looked at Jake and said "Come" but even Emmett didn't have that gleam he usually had before he said exactly what was on his mind. Jake followed him after he gave me a chaste kiss. I still burned for him.

I thanked Esme and Alice, then said good bye to Carlisle they waved but, thankfully, remained silent. I rode shot gun with Edward at the wheel and immediately pulled out my textbook forcing myself to read the words on the page to drown out thoughts and pictures of Jake. I ate my breakfast slowly, chewing carefully. If there was a question I wouldn't be able to answer because my mouth was full.

Bella got out with me as I ran to Bio. I finished the test in half an hour. But I spent the rest of the time siting, doodling and most of all avoiding my parents. It was childish. I'm an adult. It's not like I have a parade of men in my room. There's only Jake. I took a deep breath and exited the lecture hall. Mom was on me in a second and held me. I found out it had nothing to do with this morning when she said "Mike was on campus. Edward lost his scent 30 miles north. He told me the registration clerk said there was a guy asking about you – they couldn't confirm or deny you attend. But they just said to call campus security for escorts if we were concerned. I think your dad and I will do, Ness. Edward will search off campus until five unless Mike comes back. Relax, Nessie, he can't hear you right now." She was worming my inconsequential problem in with the fact that there's a crazed psycho set to kidnap and rape me. "But I have to attend class with you. You don't have to talk." Mothers: annoying as hell.

I nodded even though it wasn't really a question. It was a reprieve from Edward. I spent the next hour sitting with mom, looking at my text but really thinking of my morning with Jake and wondering what he was doing right now. When my phone buzzed, I smiled and blushed when I saw his text.

Love U. Miss U. It's busy – Emmett's silent. I'm grateful. No regrets. Jake

Miss U. Love U. Test – aced. Me neither. C U tonight. Ness

"Did you tell him about Mike?"

"Of course not. That's for face to face. Can I ask you what Dad said to Emmett for us to warrant almost no reaction this morning?"

"No. Just know that it will continue for as long as you stay. You're safe with us, Ness. Emmett is controlled."

"Mom – tell me." I begged. I could tell it was bad.

"Alice saw something. Not you, of course. Told Edward. It can't happen, Ness. It can't." Her breath caught. "Alice saw an envelope, with your necklace inside and a note from Mike saying 'Mine'. She saw our future without you. This cannot happen, Ness. Ever." She locked me in her embrace wiping away my tears. Then she looked at me. "If you need to talk with Carlisle about anything, you can. Jake too. I don't want you hurting."

I should so not be having this conversation. "I will mom. Jake too. We don't really have much choice but Carlisle understands. And…I'm … good, ok. And if you can pretend you hear nothing from our bedroom I will be eternally grateful." I did phrase it in the present tense and not the past, after this morning there was no turning back.

Bella nodded and took me to lab. There were two doors and she stood between the two as I went in. We had our talk. I hoped that was all there was. Right after five we met Edward at the car. No sign of Mike. Bella told him something and he looked relieved. It was likely because he was off the hook for a father-daughter talk. He nodded and would have blushed. I wanted to reassure both of them. "Jake and I will stay. For as long as it takes." It wouldn't be easy for dad. I looked out the window thinking of Jake. Then I heard Dad quietly starting to recite the Declaration of Independence and we said it together all the way home. Bella smiled.

Jake was already home and waiting. I ran to him. "What's wrong, Ness?" I told him about Mike and he looked oddly relieved. "Edward will take Mike. I was more worried..." he dropped his voice to a whisper even though it was pointless "that maybe I hurt you." He brushed my hair from my face to kiss me softly.

"Never, Jake." I whispered back.

Esme thankfully interrupted the silence having made snacks. There was a theme. She made Spanish tapas and told us we were having a traditional late Spanish dinner of paella when we get back home.

The tapas were scrumptious and Jake and I kissed again before going our separate ways. Clinic was great – Lizzie came back for a visit and talked about meeting a new boy. She shut me down when I started talking about safer sex saying he was going to be just a friend for a long while. But she wouldn't promise me six years. I smiled at her memory though was worried about how good it actually was especially when she told me she was taking a creative writing elective in school. I congratulated her but didn't want to ask about her stories, hopefully, she would continue to think they were all make-believe. Surprisingly, a couple young guys also came in for advice, this was rare. They usually got dragged in by a terrified girlfriend or were in clinic with an STI and hauled over by a supposedly helpful nurse though paying little attention to the information. I gave both guys the standard information and condom samples. I wondered briefly if one of them was Lizzie's new beau. If he was, he was already better than the last one.

Carlisle waited with me for Emmett and my ride home. When only Rose and Jake pulled up, my Spidey senses were tingling. Jake pulled me onto his lap and did the seatbelt around us both. He filled in Carlisle and I. "Emmett's with Edward at the apartment. Mike broke in. The alarm scared him off." I was glad the alarm came in useful. Rose is a good driver but the Jeep has special shocks for off-roading and tends to bounce a little bit more than the average vehicle. Not a bad thing, usually, unless you're strapped to your fiancé who is really enjoying the ride. I hoped our pants wouldn't be wet when we got home.

Jake ran in and up the stairs in a blur. At least I was dry. He came down in different pants. I was happy Edward wasn't home yet. Rose must have known but didn't say anything either. I liked this.

Dinner was delicious, Jake and I fawned over Esme's cooking and she was pleased. Edward and Emmett still weren't home by eleven, so we bid our goodnights and went up to bed. I locked the door and undressed completely before crawling under the covers. I wasn't subtle as I held out a condom for Jake. He more than made up for his lone wolf experience in the Jeep, gentle strokes inside and out bringing me to climax multiple times before he caressed me to sleep.

In the morning I woke to more caresses and a very eager Jake. Soon, I was panting, he was thrusting, he stood for more leverage as I bit a pillow to contain my cries as I orgasmed violently to bring Jake to his own climax. He collapsed on me as I threw the pillow on the floor and few feathers drifted onto the bed. Our needs quenched for the moment we kissed and exchanged 'I love yous'. I lay in Jake's arms and we talked about home, about the wedding, about us. We had been so focused on the family and our denial of physical love that we hadn't realized we hadn't been connecting the way we usually do at home – the little things. Today it was all back. Our kisses were extraordinary and Jake's touch electric. We showered and dressed and the morning was still quiet on the home front. I didn't see Jasper and I wondered what he would think of my current mood. Perfect love. Edward and Bella drove me to school and I couldn't even study as I thought of Jake. Dad dropped us off with a kiss, I'd really forgotten all about him for once.

I had no exam today but after classes I went to my genetics lab. In lab, my fruit flies were going at it more often than Jake and I so I had over 50 offspring to categorize and count. Bella and Edward kept vigil over me as always. We left school a little later than usual in the afternoon but we'd make up time on the road with Edward at the wheel. I was anxious to see Jake. We were close to our turn off when a van swerved in front of us and even dad had difficulty maintaining control. Without Edward's reflexes this would have been a twenty car multiple fatality pile up leading the evening news. Idiot driver. I wasn't initially paying attention to Edward but now he was crazed and cryptic. "Bella. Detour. Grab Ness. NOW! DO NOT LET HER GO!" We got off the ramp and Dad did a 180, not heading towards home, but at top speed towards the garage while calling home. "Carlisle. Garage. Stat." Is all I heard he was speaking far too fast. Mom had now pinned me in. I was starting to hyperventilate. What I'd seen was finally catching up to me. In the van was Mike, he was holding a Glock out the window coming from where we were now headed. My voice was strangled.

"Jake. Jake! JAKE!" It seemed to take hours as we drove along the side street as fast as the Ferrari could travel. Bella was looking at Edward in horror and at me with absolute sadness. Jake. Shot. Bleeding. Dead. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

We fish-tailed into the lot as dad broke out and ran inside. I kicked and hit and cried and screamed as mom kept me firmly in my seat. She stroked my hair and tried to comfort me but I was picturing Jake bleeding out. "Let me go! Jake! Jake!"

Tick tock. Edward was met by Rosalie and Emmett. I couldn't make out any words. I was still screaming and Bella wouldn't move. I could no longer even kick or hit. Bella had me pinned so I couldn't move a single limb. Tick tock. Jake. My Jake. "JAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"

It felt like hours. I couldn't see a thing. Mom was trying to listen but even she was shaking. Jake. I should have let Mike find me. Then Jake wouldn't be…I couldn't make myself even think the word. I just cried for him.

Then, I heard a faint whisper of my name from the garage. Both mom and I listened intently. It wasn't possible. The fear in dad's eyes for me as he choked out the words for mom to keep me here. He'd heard Mike's thoughts and seen the whole incident through his eyes. Dad had been certain Jake was dead. But it was Jake.

"JAKE!" I yelled with renewed force. It didn't mean he wasn't dying and I had to get to him. Mom didn't know what to do. She called for Edward.

"Bring her Bella. Don't let her run."

Mom grabbed me and carried me inside, on the lookout for another attack. There was glass everywhere, the one way mirror shattered. Jake on the ground amidst the shards. NO!

"Nessie" Jake gasped. He tried to sit up but collapsed. I screamed and called his name. I couldn't reach him, mom still held me captive.

"Jake don't move. Edward called Carlisle." I heard Bella her voice breaking, then she held her breath which could only mean one thing. I was still trying to escape. I didn't know how often he'd been hit or where. But there were two large pools of blood forming. I didn't know if he'd make it. "I love you, Jake. Forever." Tears were rolling down my cheeks and I did nothing to stop them. I couldn't look away from Jake, fearful it would be the last second of his life.

Carlisle ran in seconds later with half the supplies of the lab in his hands. I didn't even get a chance to touch him and now I couldn't see as mom moved us out of the way. I started kicking again. Mom held me like a child.

Jake started kicking too. Carlisle held him down, so did Edward and Emmett.

"Jake" Carlisle said gently. "I need to assess your injuries. Please stay still."

"Nessie" Jake sounded even weaker, I called his name.

"Oh, Jake."

"Bella, give her to me." Edward called and she passed me to dad who was sitting at Jake's head. I reached out to touch him, just his cheek, fearful he'd break. He stopped fighting at my light touch.

"Jake where does it hurt?" Carlisle asked as he was pressure wrapping a gushing wound on Jake's left arm.

Jake then tried to turn and winced.

"Don't move Jake you're laying on a bed of glass." Carlisle started his assessment at his head and neck. Then cut off his shirt. His torso looked perfect as always. I reached and managed to touch his collarbone. Jake smiled his first smile.

"I'm fine Ness. This is just a precaution." Jake tried to reassure me but his voice was weak and shaking. I reached out for him again. Edward wouldn't let me go but gave me enough space to bend down and kiss the top of Jake's head. He sighed. Carlisle had cut off Jake's jeans and there was even more gushing blood, this wound was high on his left inner thigh. Carlisle bandaged him up with another pressure dressing.

"Can you wiggle your toes, Jake?" Jake demonstrated. I took a breath.

"Good. We're still going to turn you. Check your spine." Emmett doubled as a plank, he lay down in the glass while Rose and Carlisle turned Jake on top of him. If I hadn't been so worried the look on Jake's face was priceless. Jake was in his boxers and Emmett was wearing clothes that were in tatters. It just hit me that there were that many bullets. And Jake was worried about his man parts touching Emmett's. I would get mad at him later. Now that as the seconds passed I was becoming more and more convinced he would have a later. Carlisle pulled ten or twelve massive shards out of Jake's back and bandaged all the bleeders. There was nothing near his spine. I breathed, the air was thick with the smell of blood. Bella, Rose and Emmett were statue still. I saw that a lot of the smaller cuts had healed already leaving red marks and loose glass. Carlisle removed what he could.

"Jake. Do you think you can sit?" Carlisle asked and Jake nodded.

"Shouldn't he have a CT or something, Carlisle?" I worried.

"His neuro exam is fine, Ness. He didn't hit his head. We'll watch him. You hang out with too many green doctors these days. Expensive tests that serve no purpose. I promise you, if we need it, we'll do it. Trust me."

"Good. OK." I finally exhaled needing air myself.

I was free of dad so I wriggled out to help Jake up but Carlisle beat me to it and Rose brought a chair. Rose's shirt was almost falling off and her jeans were pockmarked with bullet holes. I started counting but then turned my focus to Jake again. Using my clinic skills I took Jake's pulse – 186. It was way too fast. And even though I listened to his heart every day I had no idea what the rate usually was. Carlisle gave me the blood pressure cuff and stethoscope. He could probably hear better than the stethoscope but I went through the motions. 89/60. It could be worse but I didn't like it. He could go into shock. But I did hear his pulse race as I ran my hand over his abdomen.

"Can you grab Jake the shorts from my purse?" Someone did and we also found him some other shoes. The ones he had been wearing were torn from the glass. As soon as he had shoes Jake stood, the shorts still around his knees, and held me.

"Nessie" I held him like he'd break. My tears returned full force as I looked at the wound shadows on the bandages and the pools on the concrete. He shouldn't be standing. The one on his arm was two inches from his heart. The one on his leg less than an inch from his femoral artery. So close. Too close.

Emmett finally stood again and four more bullets dislodged from his nearly non-existent shorts and bounced off the concrete. His clothing looked even worse than Rosalie's.

Jake wiped my tears. "I'm fine Ness. Just few scratches." He tried to reassure me. He finally took a look at all the flattened bullets around him "Thanks to Emmett and Rose."

I pulled up the shorts and did them up. Hiding one bandage did not make it better.

Carlisle finally put his hand on Jake's shoulder "Jake. You will be fine. Anyone else, they would be spending at least the next two weeks in the hospital, needing multiple transfusions, antibiotics, a vascular surgeon, a few hundred stitches and possibly a skin graft or two. Check the bandages tonight, you'll probably be able to remove them."

I still clung to him. "You heard the doc, Ness. I'll be fine. I'm a model patient."

Rose and Emmett came out of the back room in the overalls they both hate to wear. I leapt at them both.

"Without you Jake would be dead." I whispered the last word willing it to leave my conscious.

Emmett was his old perky self. "That's why we're here, kid. Protecting rogue wolfs from harm. But if Jake thinks he's ever going to lie on me like that again he has another thing coming. Though, from everything I heard this week, I think he much prefers your body to mine."

Edward growled, I shushed him.

"I hope so, Emmett." I said, blushing red.

"Take off, Ness. Go be his nurse tonight."

I held Rose too. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Ness. Emmett's right. Go home. We'll clean up here."

She turned to Jake "You're on paid leave. Indefinitely."

I finally looked back towards the strewn, glass filled office. "Raelynn?"

Rose answered. "She left a few minutes earlier. Good thing too. We wouldn't have gotten to her and saved Jake. And we would have picked Jake."

I was more than glad for Raelynn's absence, though every part of me would have picked Jake too.

Jake pulled me from Rose back into his arms. Edward exchanged keys with Emmett so we didn't all need to squeeze into the Ferrari. Jake held me with his good arm as I sat beside Jake on the way home though I worried about hurting him. Jake kissed my neck still reassuring me, I couldn't stop crying.

Carlisle had gotten home before we did. Alice hugged me and gave Jake a once over. "Relax, Ness. He's going to be good as new. Even I can see that." She threw him some pants and a shirt and he put them on on top of what he was wearing. Esme did what she's been doing all week and made us sit and eat, serving us chicken parmigiana and blueberry pie. I watched Jake eat and his appetite suffered no ill effects. I could barely swallow and only had to because Jake fed me a few bites of his.

I cuddled into Jake after dinner, remembering the fear every minute or so and holding my breath until Jake reassured me again. When that subsided, Jake pulled me up and sat me at the dining room table. He took my genetics text and notes out of my bag and called Carlisle over telling him "Ness needs to study."

He came around to me and pointed at the book. "Study. I'm going to shower. I need to get rid of the Emmett cooties." He smiled and kissed me trying to make light of his near death experience.

Carlisle sat beside me as Jake headed upstairs. He flipped through my text and began his quiz that morphed into a lecture. It was more of a distraction than anything but I learned more from Carlisle about the history of genetic research and future developments in half-an-hour than I'd learned in all my lectures so far this term.

Jake came down the stairs wearing only pyjama bottoms; the wound on his arm now was just an angry red welt. My eyes welled.

"Ness, honey. I don't even need a bandage." Jake said as he ran over to hug me. Carlisle nodded as he took a quick glance but that wasn't the point. All I had to do was look from the wound to his heart again and I was in tears. I perked up not knowing why, then I looked at Jasper across the room. Jake gave him a nod of gratitude.

Jake turned to Edward "So I'm an unregistered Dartmouth student now?" Edward nodded. "Dad would be so proud." He laughed. I scowled.

Even though it was only just after eight, Jake picked me up. "We're going to bed. We'll be ready at the usual time." He carried me upstairs, dressed me in my jammies and tucked me in. Jake came around the other side and hopped in carrying his phone.

"Should we call Billy?" he asked.

"No one called Billy?" I was incredulous.

"I want to check on him. Find out how he's doing. I'm not telling him about tonight. He's been doing well in rehab, I don't want to set him back. He'll worry more than you." Jake kissed my nose, and wiped away the new tears that were forming.

Billy was most definitely on the mend currently staying in a no-expenses-spared rehab hospital in Seattle under an assumed name. Just in case Mike had any more ideas. Billy was getting a kick out of the nurses treating him with kid gloves just because he uses a chair. He'd gotten to know a few of them and they were beginning to understand he was more than able. Billy talked about walking a few steps, something he hadn't done in years. All in all he was in good spirits and his wounds were healing, even the ones on his legs which Carlisle had been worried about due to Billy's neuropathy and poor peripheral circulation.

Jake filled Billy in about Dartmouth, the garage, the apartment and his business class. I said hi wishing him a quick recovery. Jake pulled the phone from me rather quickly thinking I'd say something he'd prefer I didn't. It was probably a good thing too because Billy's next question was "No sign of the bastard, huh?"

"Dad. Don't worry. We're in very good hands." If Billy was well that would have been more of a give-away than a little blush. Jake usually has a vampire joke or two at the ready. Praising my family is not his style. Billy didn't cotton on and they said their goodbyes.

Jake thought that I was upset about him not telling Billy the truth. "I didn't lie." He defended. When I told him my true concern, he looked at the phone thinking Billy might call right back. He didn't. I amounted it to pain meds. Jake hoped I was right.

After a few minutes of silence, I cuddled into him and held him close. Tears welling again I asked "Was it really scary, Jake?"

He thought about it. "I'll tell you. You won't like it. But I'm fine, Ness remember that. I'm fine. It was so fast…I just heard the squeal of tires thinking the van was just going to plow through the shop but he spun out on the gravel …out of control. He pulled out some kind of semi-automatic with a high capacity magazine and he stared then said "Die Jacob. Ness is now MINE!" and he started shooting. If he hadn't opened his mouth he would have gotten me. That second of gloating should have been fatal to him as well. If Rosalie and Emmett hadn't both decided to protect me, either one of them could have beaten him to dust. I wish they did, then I wouldn't be worried about you."

I had a fury of emotions. "Jake! You were hit twice! Their clothes were riddled with bullet holes. Mike would be dead but so would you. Dad heard Mike, he nearly creamed us on the freeway. I haven't asked him…and I never want to… but I'm sure Dad was certain you were dead or dying. He made mom pin me in the car. I couldn't move, I couldn't get to you. I've never been so terrified…" the tears wouldn't stop, I couldn't hold Jake tight enough to stop myself from shaking again.

"Nessie, Nessie" he no longer thought I was over-reacting as he tried to comfort me caressing my back with long slow strokes. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

I cried myself to sleep so early that I woke at five, lying on top of Jake; tears crusted on my cheek and Jake's chest. Jake was still caressing my back, he kissed me good morning. I looked at his arm and there was nothing more than a faint line representing the bullet that could have cost him his life. I pulled down his pyjama bottoms and pulled up the leg on his boxers – the wound there was also nearly invisible.

I sighed into his chest, hopeful I wasn't going to start crying again. I clung to Jake. "Jake, I want our life back. I hate living in fear. Being babysat. I know they're not complaining, Jake, but it's taking its toll. Someone's running. Someone's hunting. Someone's babysitting one or both of us. Edward's listening and strategizing all the time. No one is relaxed. I think out of everyone, we've had the most alone time even though we're not really alone. And this weekend, my period, just makes it a million times worse."

"My fault, Ness. We could have simplified the weekend. I only thought about it after. If I hadn't been so desperate we could have made it safer. Kept you intact."

"You Jake? You were sleeping, you're not to blame. I wasn't rational that morning, I needed you."

"Are you rational right now?"

"Jake! You're hurt."

"Barely. I heal fast, remember. But if you have something better to do…"

"Jake, you've never had to beg for sex."

"Begging is a strong word. See you're more worried about my heart. Me, well that second bullet came awfully close to us never having children. I personally think we should practice for that eventuality."

"Jake you almost died and you're worried about your manhood? Stupid. I was I little more worried about your femoral artery, Jake. You would have bled out in no time. Besides, did Carlisle forget to tell you he has frozen some of your swimmers, Jake? Now, I can think of much better ways to conceive but if we need to, it's an option."

"He did WHAT?" Jake raised his voice a lot. I hoped Carlisle wouldn't come in to apologize.

"For research." I waited. Good no Carlisle. "But rather than talking why don't you just kiss me and see where it leads. I think that might beat begging." There are days when I have to jump in Jake's pants and can't think of anything else. Right now I had too many worries. I was just happy Jake was here. Mike, he's stalking us. He must have seen the speed of Emmett and Rosalie. I wonder what he thinks that means. Or what he'll try next. All of this was going through my head from the time I finished my last sentence until Jake managed to stroke my cheek and put his lips to mine. After that, all was forgotten except Jake – the feel of his lips, his touch. He massaged and undressed me. He wound up caressing my whole body for over an hour, by then I was the one who was begging. Jake described the virtues of his manhood very thoroughly before he made love to me. I thought it was pretty accurate but I'm not sure everyone in the house needed to know. We also showered twice climaxing together in both instances. Even when we dried off the second time we lay in bed, naked, together. I caressed the lines of his wounds willing the fear to disappear as quickly as the wounds themselves. It wouldn't happen. I held Jake close, naked, until the alarm rang.

We hadn't worried about the family for two hours, but now I did wonder if the same rules applied. Emmett's filter had run out last night. Today might be the same.

"I love you, Ness." We were still on our towels and our bodies met and responded again as we kissed.

"Fifteen minutes you two! Make it a quickie!" Emmett yelled. I had my answer. Then I heard Emmett groan. I wondered who punched him. My money was on Edward, though it could have been Rose. Jake and I looked at each other. However tempting a quickie might be, we probably shouldn't listen to Emmett. We both shook our heads, dressed quickly and ran downstairs to grab cereal before heading to the Jeep. Emmett smirked again. Everyone else just wished us good morning; they had obviously heard Jake's wounds didn't leave permanent physical damage.

Emmett, Rose and Esme took off for the garage. I was happy they'd called Raelynn to take a few days off with pay. Right now being bullet proof was a criterion for employment. Unfortunately, having a sense of propriety was not.

Our posse arrived at school just before eight. We all headed to Biology, except Bella who was covering her and Edward's class. Jake and I sat together; Edward was behind us closest to the door. Alice and Jasper one row ahead. I took notes and so did Jake. Both Alice and Jasper were typing furiously on their tablets but I think it was a conversation or maybe some strategy from our own major Whitlock. Alice can't seem to get a ping on Mike with her gift, even with our close encounters. Probably because he's looking for me and Jake. I think she's frustrated and upset she can't help.

We all huddled together at break, then Alice and Jasper took a quick tour of campus for any sign of Mike. When they returned they had nothing to report.

They dropped me at my genetics exam and I kissed Jake good bye. Alice and Jasper promised to watch over Jake. The exam was super easy, even the essay question. My last minute session with Carlisle paying off dividends as I wrote down nearly everything he told me about the history of genetics (I neglected to mention Carlisle helped Mendel with his research even though I found it utterly fascinating). When I handed in my exam and exited the theatre, Jake kissed me like I'd been gone a week and not just over an hour. I had missed him too.

We got ready for the ride home but Edward was on a tirade. "One human. One little human. How can one human cause all this destruction, misery and fear for MY family? Stupid human. We have to kill him. I should have killed him!"

The sentiment was echoed by everyone in the car, except Bella. Mom was remarkably quiet with Dad's rant. I hated the idea of killing anyone but there was no other option. As long as he lives Jake is in danger and I can't lose Jake.

When we got home Jake and I made KD for lunch and it made me appreciate Esme's efforts to keep us fed these last few weeks all the more. Carlisle showed me our own blood bank and the straws. I nodded. I felt badly that I would need to drink it this upcoming weekend and even worse that I can't deny that I like it, giving me at least a little empathy for the vampires in my life.

Jake made sure I had the right bathroom supplies for the weekend. The fact that he knows what I need and how many is odd enough, that he's willing to look and set things up for me, well it's one of the many reasons I keep him around.

Edward caught me on the stairs just as I was going back to Jake and just pulled me into his arms. "I'm sorry, honey. I didn't want you to see…" even Edward couldn't finish his sentence. He hadn't said anything about his reaction in the car until now. I was crying again _. I can't talk about it. Never ever do that again! I needed to see him – whatever the consequences._ He held me, nodded and kissed my head, though, most surprisingly relinquished me to Jake immediately who had come looking for me. I spent a good deal of the rest of the afternoon in Jake's arms calming with his presence and reassurance again.

We were still cuddled on the couch when Emmett waltzed in. He was euphoric. "The new glass looks amazing – one way and bulletproof, not an easy thing to do on short notice but we came through. And the lock box? Not a scratch! Though it was hit at least a half dozen times. Next time, Jake we'll pack you in one of those!" I hoped to hell there'd never be a next time, I growled at him but at least I didn't burst into tears again.

Esme's day wasn't quite so pleasant. "How did you work there all summer, Ness? Some of the customers were rude and wanted instant service. One more day, Emmett, then I quit."

"It wasn't so bad. Once I figured out how to work with my boss." I held Jake.

"Once your boss stopped being a pigheaded idiot" Jake amended.

"That too." I kissed him.

"That was horrible too. I worked for Carlisle all of one day, was that the in the 50s?" Carlisle nodded. "He's a great doctor but a horrible boss. I had nothing to do."

I elbowed Jake in his good arm.

Esme continued "I like what I do here." She proceeded to the kitchen noticing the box of KD in the recycling and pulling it out. "And this isn't food."

Jake put in his two cents. "I like what you do here too, Esme. Feel free if you ever want to stock our fridge when…if…we get home."

Jake had his class and me the clinic. Now deciding our protection detail needed a boost, Alice and Jasper rode with Jake, Emmett and Rose. Everyone else, with me. It was a testament to Esme that she would come so close to the clinic and human blood. Carlisle had me help him with wound care, doing vitals and watching patient assessments so that I'd be closer to him if something went awry.

When we got home Jake and Rose were having a heated discussion about the weekend. As soon as Edward got out of the car he yelled, "No, Rose" even before we got in the house.

I wanted to know what the argument was about. I sat with Jake and Rose and they bombarded me at the same time. "Whoa. OK, Jake first." Rose looked at me like I picked favorites. I did. "Rose wants to be in the house this weekend and I think it's a horrible idea. And so does Edward." Jake said as if the last statement clinched it.

Rose was much more rational "Ness, I love you. I would never hurt you. I want to be there to protect you. If I'm away and something happens – I would never forgive myself. You're my daughter, Nessie. The closest I'll ever have."

"She stays, Jake" I said, case closed. _Dad, Rose is with us, don't argue._

Jake seethed at Rose "If I have to drag you out…"

Rose finished "I'll let you. I did before."

I talked to Esme first. She was in the kitchen having been cooking and baking since we'd been gone. She was still stocking the fridge so we wouldn't go hungry all weekend because she couldn't be around. "Grandma, Emmett's going to need a running partner this weekend. Can you fill in for Rose?" She nodded, though obviously wishing she didn't have to. I hugged her "I love you, grandma."

When we went to bed that night, Jake was upset I took Rose's side at first but he came around. I was still glad he'd be there to protect me and he got a little frisky when I told him that. We made love late into the night, knowing it would be almost a week before we would connect again.


	44. Chapter 43: Bloody Ambush

**Bloody Ambush**

For the second time since I started getting my period I was upset that it started on schedule. Our abnormal routine was running like clockwork. I went to class with my detail and I got my English exam back with an A+. I would have been offended with anything less. The Psych exam I had to have aced as well, I left after half-an-hour with nothing left to say. In Chem, I also got an A+, though I missed a couple easy ones – that's what happens when you're looking for something to trip you up. We headed home, I dropped everything the second I got in the door and took another shower. I hate making my family uncomfortable.

We strategized for the weekend. Dad and Jake were coming around to Rose being with us for the weekend and Rose, in turn, was being nice to both dad and Jake. It was a positive change. Dad would be the only one with the strength to have her leave, though I have the authority to say she should stay. I haven't forgotten she and mom are the only two reasons I'm alive, even though Edward focuses his anger on Rose's errant thoughts and a second of weakness. She fought a month long battle against the only family she has. I trust her. More importantly, she saved Jake. Jake's attitude about his near death experience is to shake it off and pretend it never happened; I think I'm the one with PTSD. Though, he still won't tell Billy. I wonder if, when he does, that will make it more real for him.

When Esme got home from the garage – her official last day of work – she made us a huge and delicious mac and cheese casserole (obviously showing us what KD is not) and added to stockpiles of dinner, snacks and desserts. She kissed me on my head, still ashamed, as she went to join Emmett on patrol.

Saturday. The torrent starts. Jake is on it like clockwork, the problem is that he feels he needs to be closer to me than everyone in the house, except Carlisle, so is trying to do everything. In our apartment it's three steps to the kitchen and two to the bathroom. This house is a lot bigger and he's exhausting himself. He makes me an omelette and brings me my new beverage of choice – human blood – to my room as I sit in the shower. He does my laundry, because I feel like I should change completely after every shower, just in case. He brings me pints at lunch and at supper as well as full meals heated by Jake, courtesy of Esme. I hoped she was OK with Emmett. I really hoped he wasn't giving her a hard time. Edward, Bella and Rose all check in on me. I even heard Rose and Jake arguing about bringing me blood – it was like déjà vu – I felt like an infant all over again. Carlisle hasn't been around for any of my joyous weekends (is there a better term?) so he's all keen to gather data. He monitors my BP, pulse and we let him draw micro samples for blood tests – no vials – I was losing too much blood as it was. Carlisle always says patients over estimate blood loss. I think after this weekend he will not say the same about me. Carlisle was going to chart and graph the results, making sure Jake was also noting when and how much blood I was taking in.

"Thanks, grandpa" Carlisle gave me a kiss on my forehead; he had none of the hesitation of Rose or my parents when they came to check on me. It was nice.

When I slept Jake crawled in with me, cradling my abdomen and reassuring me. At home he took care of me, true, here, it seems like he's competing. I tell him this and he's hurt. When I mentioned his fight with Rose made me feel like a baby he was apologetic. Through the night, just the two of us, it was better. Jake brought me more blood and I think I was in the shower most of the night. I didn't want Jake to have to do more laundry. I want to go home and sleep in my own bed.

I woke to a cold stream of water and Jake sleeping on the bathroom floor. I couldn't stand. "Jake?"

"Help." He shot up and turned the water off. "Shit, Ness! I'm sorry!"

"Get Rose, please."

He looked at the stream of blood running down the drain. "Carlisle?"

"No! I'm naked!"

He opened the bathroom door and called "Rose, we need some help in here." She arrived before Jake finished his sentence. "You're sure you're ok?" He asked.

Rose didn't dismiss his question. She tested."Yeah, I'm ok."

"I'm not" I mumbled weakly. Jake grabbed a towel and Rose stood me up. Jake dried me off. Grabbed undies and even put a pad in them before putting them on me.

Rose carried me to bed. "Love you, Ness. You're in good hands." She ran from the room.

Seconds later Carlisle knocked with a tray of blood. "She needs to drink it all."

Jake sat me up and punctured the first pint. "Drink up, Ness" I finished that one and four others in succession. I now had some color in my cheeks and Jake put on the BP cuff to get a reading 70/40. He gave me another pint to suck on and grabbed me a nightshirt. Another pint and then the shirt was on. He called Carlisle and ran the machine again - 85/50. "Awaken the dead" I smiled and tried to sit more upright, Carlisle guided me back down. "You should lie down, Ness. I don't want you to faint."

"Carlisle, this is as good as it gets. This is when Jake and I go hunting. After eggs." I looked at Jake.

"Eggs?" I nodded.

"With spinach if there's any."

Jake was only gone two seconds. "Rose is on it. I'll get the bathroom." Jake took my clothes and the bloody towels to the wash. Carlisle pierced another pint and handed it to me.

"How does Jake do this on his own?"

"I don't know." I smiled weakly. At that Rose called for Jake and he brought breakfast.

Jake crawled in behind me and propped me up on his torso and put the tray on my lap. Carlisle handed me another pint. "Jake, call me if you need me, but I think you've got it all under control." He kissed my head again before he left. Jake made sure I ate all my eggs and opened another few pints which I drank. Damn.

"Jake. I need to pee."

"Should I carry you?" I hated feeling so helpless, but I nodded. Jake was out of bed and carried me to the potty. And I complained earlier about feeling like an infant.

He tried to pull my undies down but I shook my head.

"I'm not leaving you in here alone."

"But…"

"I've seen blood, Ness." It was quick once I let him. He brought me new undies and a new pad. A wet and dry wash cloth and I was back in bed in a minute with a much happier bladder.

I finished my twentieth pint and was getting sleepy. Jake massaged my back and let me drift off.

I woke to banging. It was Carlisle knocking. "Jake, can I come in?" He pulled the blanket over me before answering in the affirmative. "Sorry, guys. Mike broke perimeter. He's gone. Alice and Jasper tailed him but lost him on the freeway – he had a different car. We think he'll be back tonight. This time we'll have the advantage." The docile doctor turned killer – I could see it and Carlisle would not hesitate. I'd never seen this side of him but I now know why most people have a healthy fear of vampires.

I showered again. I was feeling much better and could at least walk to the toilet and the stall. Jake brought in warm clothes straight from the dryer and I dressed myself and managed to use both a tampon and pad. Things were definitely looking up. Jake made sure I had a few more pints. And for the first time I wanted to head downstairs.

Jake wasn't convinced. "Rose?"

"What do you need, Jake? More eggs?"

"Ness wants to come downstairs."

"Uh…ok."

"You're sure."

"No."

"Come up."

"Jake?" I questioned. "She doesn't want me down there but you want her up here. It doesn't make sense."

"It makes perfect sense. I can push her down the stairs way faster than we can run up them." He smiled.

Even Rose was laughing as she climbed. She took one step at a time from about half-way up. I had to call to her "Hurry. Mike will be here soon, Rose. It should be better than the Psycho scene from earlier. Jake got the laundry and cleaned the bathroom" I called to her.

"OK. But I'd rather throw myself down the stairs than get shoved. Give me a minute."

"Get in here. I'm not even human. Think of Edward. You can do this. My kids will be even more human and I'll want you to babysit." I finally got her. "Thanks, Rose. Can I go down now?" She gave me a kiss and nodded. Jake held my arm on the stairs.

I wasn't going to sit on Esme's white sofa, so Jake held me in his lap driving me just a little crazy with his soft caresses to my neck. Jake only noticed when Edward redirected my thoughts for the third time, at which he whispered 'sorry' right in my ear, which did nothing to quench my rising libido.

We found out from Edward that Mike had placed loaded weapons all around the house. So it looks like Mike is planning a one-man commando operation. Emmett and Esme took the bullets out but left the weapons in place. He wouldn't notice until it was too late.

It was getting dark and I was getting scared. Jake had taken me upstairs hourly over the course of the afternoon to 'freshen up' my favorite euphemism for making sure I wasn't too appealing to be bitten by one of my own before I got captured and tortured by a lunatic. Yeah. What a fun Sunday. Edward rolled his eyes. And to top it all off I wasn't getting any. Edward coughed.

"Are you feeling better, Ness? Can we call everyone home?" Edward asked mostly because I looked it, but also to break up my thoughts of what I really wanted to do with Jake even knowing said thoughts were very much not in the realm of possibility in my current condition.

I nodded. The last hour had been great. I felt almost normal.

Emmett and Esme were back in two. Esme ran to me first thing and asked me how I was doing. She confirmed that Carlisle had run a series of tests and chastised him for it. It was like she was with me all weekend even though she couldn't be.

Alice and Jasper got back three minutes later and they had no more news of Mike. Edward strategized about tracking. Jake wanted to call the packs to fly in when I said "Absolutely not." He agrees for now. Someone would surely get killed.

Everyone was on guard. Esme didn't even cook. She threw leftovers in the oven. Jake and I ate while our guard circled us. No one cleaned up the kitchen, we just made our way the living room. Twice, I went upstairs to change with Jake's help, while Carlisle and Rose guarded the bathroom door. It was late. Still standing in the living room, no one needing to sit, we were all silent.

Edward heard it first – his head turned in the direction of the road. Then the family. Then Jake and he pulled me ever closer into his embrace. Then, finally, I heard the roar of not one, but more than a dozen vehicles coming up our drive. Mike had brought reinforcements – divide and conquer. And kidnap. I shuddered.

"Upstairs now! Ness, Jake!" Edward called. But we were frozen in place. No one was moving from their defensive position to remove us from the scene. They outnumbered us and people jumped from their cars and ran to the woods taking up arms. Many tried to shoot and were sorely upset the guns didn't fire. Some left driving away immediately; others confronted Mike and it looked like they were riled. Mike was armed to the hilt – a rifle, his, I would assume, reloaded glock and he had a few other bulges in his pants as well. The two idiots who confronted him were sprayed with bullets at close range. Jake's breath caught and we could only watch in horror as the bodies crumpled in the yard. Dead. That scared more of the group who high-tailed it, backwards, down the drive. Mike fired in a full circle shattering glass, this caused everyone else to leave as well. Even though I wasn't near a window the numerous headlights had illuminated everything. Now there were only three vehicles running and Mike was still shooting. It looked like he no longer cared if I lived. Then, in nanoseconds, Bella and Rose leapt at Mike through an as yet unbroken window in a hail of bullets and glass. Edward, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme encased Jake and I so I could no longer see. But Bella doesn't mince words.

"My family! Remember me? I no longer faint at the sight of blood! Ness is my daughter! Kidnap! Violate! Never! Your end will be painless but it will be an end!" I could still hear endless gunfire ricocheting everywhere.

Edward heard something from Mike and the most menacing growl I'd ever heard started deep in his throat. I thought I'd seen Edward angry – nowhere even close. The bullets were still flying, most deflecting off Bella and Rose who were right in the line of fire, with a few pinging closer to Jake and I likely off of Edward or Emmett or Carlisle. Edward was going for the kill. He crouched for the fatal leap, then stopped himself. Rose.

"Not painless." Rosalie countered with her own threatening snarl and I immediately heard the unmistakable sound of vampire teeth on flesh.

"You shot me. I do not die. Ness is our daughter. She will live. You will not." He was screeching in pain, burning.

Jasper flew out of the room next towards Mike. I thought he'd suck him dry. But he instead he spoke.

"You do not suffer enough. " Mike screamed a more piercing cry.

I had heard of Jane but could never imagine Jasper could do something similar. In my cocoon where I was currently holed up I was reminded to never get on Jasper's bad side. He had more.

"The cleaning up of newborns is no longer my job. You will die now and NEVER touch Ness." His voice was calm. Even. He was breathing amidst what I could only assume was Rosalie's bite through Mike's carotid which must have been pouring blood along with the gunshot wounds of the other victims. My name stirred something in Mike that he called it out in desperation. Mike screeched in with anguish again as I heard a crunch and Jasper finally held his breath but not until he spat out. "He's dead." There was silence except for the three cars still running. I could see Jasper now his eyes full of hatred. He walked back to Alice who stroked his left hand to calm him. In Jaspers right, was Mike's dripping heart.

Edward now ran to Jasper and took the heart out of his hand and lobbed it into the forest through the shattered window. Carlisle went to check the bodies. I didn't think they needed a doctor. Esme looked terrified and her head swivelled between Mike's open torso and Jasper. Emmett held her.

Edward was now reassuring Jasper. Jake was more practical. He kissed me and then ran upstairs for bleach and a bunch of cloths. He wiped Jasper's hand and sent him and Alice to the bathroom. Then he cleaned up the blood on the hardwood – first a once over then a secondary wipe for any trace. Cleaning up my bathroom the last two days had given him a lot of practice. Even I could now breathe better – the metallic fragrance replaced with the cutting smell of bleach. Drinking human blood the last few days had sensitized my palate and sense of smell.

I took over with Esme; Emmett went to help with the bodies on the lawn. Vampire chatter began. From the little I understood an incident of road rage was being planned for the two dead kids. And a bear attack with massive scavenging for Mike was on the horizon. Rose and Emmett went to arrange Mike's demise deep into the park, Bella insisting it be on a rarely used hiking trail. Someday, though it couldn't be soon, his body would be found. She knew the Newtons and felt his parents deserved to know something. My mom is far too compassionate. Staring at Mike – I couldn't look away – I could only think that Jake was now safe. That was what was important. Then there's Esme, close to crying for two boys she never met and my stalker. We learned later that night Mike had sent out a random post and all the kids had answered it as a lark. Jasper cleaned up all trace on the Net. Edward and Carlisle went to set the scene on a highway far from town.

When everyone was back they turned to Alice. It took ten minutes of Alice's blank stare but then she nodded. Everyone looked relieved. It seems like there would be no exposure.

"What about the other kids?" I asked.

"Most will think they were set up. Others will think it was a dream depending on what they were on. Anyone who checks tomorrow there will be no broken glass, no bullets, no blood, no weapons. No trace, Nessie. They'll see Esme, getting our garden ready for winter. Who doesn't trust Esme? Go to bed. Take Jake. You have school tomorrow. Then, you can get home." Dad said as he hugged me. Home.

Jake took that as his cue. He led Esme over to Carlisle and took me upstairs asking if I needed a pint. I shook my head. There'd be no more human blood for me for a very long while.

The next day Edward and Bella still drove me to school. I went to classes alone for the first time in a very long time. Nicole didn't even ask me where everyone was and I didn't volunteer, we talked about the exam a bit and were even looking at our schedule for next semester. It turns out we'll have both Chem and Bio together and we were both excited to have a study partner. The last few weeks behind me I listened to all my professors with newfound enthusiasm. In Bio we were finishing our DNA extraction lab from the week before. By the end of the class I was mesmerized by the silky threads of what amounts to life as we know it swirling in my beaker. This was another experiment I'd do with Carlisle with my own DNA and Jake's.

Edward and Bella picked me up after lab. They looked great, human even. Bella cuddled into dad's shoulder as we walked and Edward wasn't scanning the grounds or parking lot for signs of danger. I wanted to drive but when dad said that Jake would be waiting I couldn't have that. Finally freedom.

I jumped into Jake's arms and he spun me around. Esme had been busy in the kitchen all day. If she was trying to convince us to stay she was doing a mighty fine job – the aroma was divine. She was making beef wellington and an orange soufflé. I don't have the skill or patience in the kitchen to even try. We set the table and everyone sat, joking, laughing for the first time in weeks. Almost everyone said they would miss us, Emmett did too in a roundabout way "What's going to keep me up at night?" Rose answered for us. "Not me."

We cleared the table and packed up the left overs. Jake and I would eat well tomorrow. Then, back to takeout. Esme had other ideas. She had made so much food for us I didn't think it would fit in our fridge. We lounged on the couch (well, I was still in Jake's lap) and watched more football. As soon as the game ended Jake picked me up.

"Should we head home?" He asked with a kiss. I nodded. It had been so long.

Alice looked up. "Mike didn't touch anything. The alarm went off and he bolted. I tidied today and cleaned out the fridge. Looks like you have enough to stock it." I ran to give Alice a hug. Knowing Alice she also filled our condom drawer. We would actually need it.

I tried to hug Jasper but he stepped away. I followed him. "Jazz. Give me a hug. It's just a little blood. You proved you can do this." No one mentioned yesterday until this minute. But I did get Jasper to wrap his arms around me. "We love you, Ness."

"I know. I love you too."

We headed upstairs to pack. I left a couple of things of Jake's, we would be back to visit.

Everyone kissed us good-bye. Jasper even gave me another hug. I was tearing. I was happy to go home but still it was bittersweet. Two kids, dead, for a split second of stupidity. It wasn't fair. Jake and I have a great family who will protect us forever.


	45. Chapter 44: A New Beginning

A New Beginning

Alone with Jake. I didn't think I'd say the words again. We certainly talked about our fears. Mostly about of our fear of losing the other. But it really was over. We were together and alone. That brought out something in both of us as soon as Wednesday came about. Good thing we had premade meals, otherwise I doubt we would have eaten. I had Jake and I could show him without restraint. Jake and I loved being back home. By Saturday evening I could barely move and neither could Jake. We'd gone to classes and work and the clinic that week but every other moment was occupied with each other. I knew at some point we'd have to get back to reality.

Studying. Initially, being so relaxed and finally sated in every conceivable, studying was easy. I really enjoyed absorbing everything I read and exams and essays came naturally. As the weeks progressed, occasionally, I'd wake with nightmares and Jake would just hold me telling me we were going to just fine. He knows Mike's death and the aftermath hadn't shaken me even half as much as the incident at the garage. I still shook at the memories but Jake reassured me every time. Sunday dinner was still a staple and Esme would also bring over meals and leave them for us whenever it suited her. Sometimes, though extremely rare, we would stay at the house overnight, not doing anything that Emmett would call us on later. Edward didn't mention my thoughts. I was still counselling at the clinic and I was Carlisle's go-to girl for teen emergencies. There was a miscarriage and another ectopic pregnancy we dealt with but also two deliveries. The teens were terrified, with my reassurance and Carlisle's expertise the babies were born without incident and healthy. One of the girls gave the baby up for adoption, the other was set-up with a supportive roommate, not quite a foster mother but a good support. I checked on her a few times and mom and baby were doing well. That's when my thoughts went into overdrive. If she could do this, could I? I was really considering my options. Finishing school might be a problem but there were a few solutions. Having a child with Jake has been on my mind for a long time. I love school but being a mom would be amazing. Something to think about. I think I could do both with the right support. Seriously. I need to talk to Jake, of course, but there was someone else first.

After few weeks of reflection, I was absolutely certain. Jake noticed I was quieter but attributed it to final exams. Between studying and Jake I must have told myself all the reasons to wait a hundred times, but then those reasons didn't seem important anymore and I could really see a newborn in my arms. Before dinner that night I asked "Rose?"

"Hey, what is it Ness?"

"Can we go for a walk later? Just the two of us."

"Is something wrong?"

"No."

She, and everyone in the room, were now very suspicious. "OK, Ness. After dinner." I nodded. I did have to study, finals were starting tomorrow but this was important, even more so.

Both Emmett and Jake were wondering when Rose and I got our shoes on and headed out for our talk. Edward had his head in his lap. I thought fiercely. _Jake will be next. Tell no one._ He nodded but looked pained. Rose and I got far enough away so that even Edward couldn't hear, not that that really mattered since he already knew.

"Ness?" At least Rose isn't as impatient as Alice. I had time to gather my thoughts.

"Rose, do you have any big plans for, say, the next four or five years? Maybe longer?" I asked trying to gauge her reaction.

"Shit! Edward told you about the garage, the fiend!"

"Told me what?"

"He didn't?"

"No. But now you have to."

"Damn. I guess I do. We just closed a deal to open a new garage on the other side of town that Emmett and I will run."

"Sounds like fun. And?" Did she have to be so cryptic?

"Well we want to do more custom work, specialize in turbo charging some sweet rides and custom sound systems too."

"Great." Well, there goes my plans. I shrugged. At least she sounded excited. But then Rose continued.

"So… we're giving the current place to Jake. Full ownership." Rose smiled.

"OMG Rose! Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!" I was so not expecting this. Jake would be stoked. Rose and Jake…well, I really think they only tolerate one another because of me.

"So. My secret is out." Rose prompted.

I was no longer optimistic. "So… you'll be pretty busy setting up the new shop, working, no time to say do something else for me while I'm in school?"

"What?"

"It would be a really big commitment, Rose. Most weekdays, all day. I would try to organize my classes so I can study at home."

"I'll do anything for you, Ness. Tell me what it is?" She wasn't bouncing like Alice, but close.

"Well, I've decided – of course, it's Jake's decision too but I haven't talked with him yet. I mean we've talked about it, sure, just not when. I wanted to ask you first. I want to finish school too but, I don't see how I can do both without your help."

"You're being infuriating, Ness."

"I want…a baby. To try anyway…we don't really know…..but if we can, I can't think of a better person to love our child, Rose."

She hugged me, kissed me and even touched my belly, imagining me with child. She would be crying for joy if she could. "Of course...yes, yes, YES! You didn't really think I'd pick the garage over this, did you? Not a chance in hell!" then she stopped. "When?"

I hugged Rose. "Talking to Jake might be a first step. I don't think I can just hide all our condoms. I don't know if he's ready. And he'll have the garage, responsibilities, his studies. Billy's recovered and back at home, but he still worries. Maybe one more thing right now isn't the best timing. Though, there was no point to even asking him if you weren't on board. I can't take an infant into a Chem lab."

"Tell Jake about the garage, if you want. We were going to do this at Christmas. We'll still be around. Emmett will give him a raise now and time off whenever he needs it. If you really want this."

"I do." I'd never been more certain. "Can you wait on the surprise though – if we're going to try for a baby…"

"You want him focused. Of course. Let's get you home to Jake." She held me. Rose was just as excited as I was. Which may or may not be a good thing.

We got back to home to our favorite men who both at questioning looks. To Rose's annoyance I pulled out my text book and started studying. Jake played with my hair. Did Rose think I was going to ask Jake this instant if he wanted to make a baby and then run upstairs to do just that? Please! Dad tutted, but the way he did it I didn't think my thoughts were too far away from what Rose really was considering. When my Chem review was complete we sat on the couch watching football with Emmett and dad. You'd think after all the football I watch, I'd understand something about the sport but it's still a mystery to me. I have straight A's but barely know a tackle from a touchdown. Anyways, it wasn't like mom would let me join in Jazz and Emmett's games as a kid. I cuddled into Jake and imagined a little baby in my arms. Dad squeezed my hand shaking his head. I countered with a nod. _I'll talk to mom after Jake if he wants this too. Please let me?_ He nodded.

Jake got into another argument with Emmett about football. It seems like they were cheering for different sides and Emmett thought there was an unfair penalty costing his team the game. I hoped Jake and I wouldn't have a similar argument tonight.

I yawned, which caused Rose to smile. It wasn't fake – I am tired.

"Can we go, Jake? I've got a final tomorrow." He gloated at Emmett once more and we were off.

He asked about Rose in the car. I was evasive.

When we got into bed Jake almost made me forget what I wanted to ask. I interrupted his kisses, which is rare.

"Jake?" It was hard to form words while he was brushing against me. "It's been a while since we talked about something and I wanted to run it by you again." He nodded, licking my neck.

"Maybe later." I gave up and started kissing him back. He wasn't paying any attention with the mood he was in. I was right. He exploded the second he entered me but then took his time to involve me on the second and third go rounds which was much appreciated. I was nestled in his chest, content, just thinking. Jake finally coaxed "What is it? Talk to me, Ness." So, he had sort-of been listening.

I said the first thing in my head. "I want a baby, Jake." Ooops. The shock. He shook-I was way too close. Then he calmed. He was getting better at this. He took a few more breaths and calmed enough to ask "Right now?"

"Not tonight Jake. Soon." I told him about my talk with Rose and my plans to make it work and go to school. I didn't tell him about the garage, one shock was enough for tonight. I was ready. Jake was reeling.

"Can you just think about it?" I asked and he nodded.

Then he confessed to a cryptic conversation with Edward last night while I was out with Rose. He now understood. "Edward was talking about imprinting. We haven't had that discussion in years. He also embarrassed the hell out of me about my decision to wait to make love to you. I thought I'd die. Then he said that the adage about giving your imprint everything she wants is outdated. Make sure you're ready….yadayada…I kinda tuned him out to be honest. I should have paid closer attention. A baby, Ness? Really?"

I nodded. I'd thought about it too much. I could already tell him where we could put the crib. I didn't want to move yet. Our place. It's home.

"Jake, as much heck as I am going to give Edward for that lecture, he is right. You have to be ready. The baby will be ours. Not tonight, Jake. Just think about it. But, if you're up for it, for now we can still practice." I handed him another condom. Jake and I passed our chemistry test with flying colors. I figured I'd have just as much success with my exam in the morning.


	46. Chapter 45: Jake's Answer More Questions

Jake's Answer, More Questions

That whole week was finals. Labs were finally complete. For my fruit fly lab I did get an A+ but it will be way too soon if I ever see another fruit fly. Conveniently, I had one exam each morning that whole week and then I was done for the semester. I studied each afternoon and every evening. Still I went to clinic and Jake was studying for his exam on Thursday. We talked about a baby, our families and our future every night that whole week. Jake was considering our options but I didn't want to push him, reminded of Edward's conversation – this really had to be something we both want. We made love nightly with our usual protection in place.

On Friday, I got to the garage after my Psyc final and started pitching in. I'd been back a couple of times since the shooting but now I'd had time to heal and could appreciate the new windows and new security features. Raelynn didn't know about the shooting, she was told by Emmett there was a chemical spill and given the Thursday and Friday off with pay. If she noticed the changes to the windows she didn't mention it. And the hubcap was now gone since it had been sprayed with bullets. Em and Rose had consciously left the two bullets that had struck Jake and lodged in the back wall. I ran my fingers over them in reminder. My grief still palpable. Jake came over and held me in his arms saying just one word.

"Yes." I turned. He nodded. I smiled. He took the time he needed and thought it through. But I still needed to confirm.

"A baby. Really, Jake?"

"Yes." He said firmly. I kissed him. We really should have discussed this at home. I knew the second I heard Rose call from the back bay.

"Go home early, Jake. You've got better things to do."

I wordlessly handed Jake the next work order. He knew it wouldn't be pretty. He headed to solve the easier problem – the car. I went right to Rose – we needed to get one thing straight.

"Rose?" my voice was tense but she hugged me.

"I'm happy too, Rose. But…" she now saw my glare. "….you will never do what you just did again. Our plans to try or not try are ours. I will ask Jake if he would like to leave early and he will ask you – at which time you can either affirm or deny the request. Capisce?"

She looked appropriately admonished. "Got it."

"Good. Jake is working on a starter. I'm going to pick up my usual oil change. Then, if you're super interested in our plans for the evening – we're going to dinner and a movie. It's the end of exams. Tonight we will probably have another discussion about Jake's decision. I will need to talk with mom and Carlisle. And when we do try, we still don't even know if it will ever happen." She just continued to nod.

Rose and I were good again. "I promise you that if I do get pregnant I'll let you know right after Jake. Before Edward even."

"Thanks, Nessie. I love you" and then because she couldn't resist "Have fun."

I finished the oil change, cleaned the bathroom and the lunchroom. I spent extra time wiping and drying the couch before I sat down to wait for Jake. I suspected Emmett and Rosalie found the couch a little too comfortable after-hours. Being the nerd I am I'd already picked up my texts for next semester and started to peruse them. I'd have to learn to use all my time effectively if, by this time next year, I'd have a baby in my arms.

Jake came in after his shower and pounced on me with kisses. I whispered "Not here, Jake. Now that Rose knows it's something she's bound to encourage."

"I will!" she called. Every time one of them does this I have to suspend my reality of what Jake and I got up to in my bedroom at the house. No secrets. Certainly no more overnights at the house even just to sleep. Rose would wind up cheering us on after just a good night kiss.

We did head to a nice restaurant to celebrate the end of the semester, though both of us agreed Esme's cooking far was superior. We decided on a sappy romantic comedy which was pretty cute. Jake wanted to see the latest thriller but I had had enough of shootings and crazed maniacs in real life for a long while. When we went to bed I asked him again if he really was sure about a baby and he didn't hesitate. We made a plan for me to talk to mom and for both Jake and I to talk with Carlisle before we decided on when. We couldn't even be sure about something as simple as gestation time much less other things, say more species specific. Venomous? A shape-shifter? Given my genetic knowledge now I'd been playing with Nahuel's family tree – and one thing scared me, if all the boys are venomous and venom is fatal to shape-shifters does that mean I couldn't have a baby boy? I knew there was too little real data to tell but it seemed like a possibility. Back in bed Jake and I were already perfect, but practice we did.

When I woke up on Saturday morning I tried to wake Jake, I was keyed up though Jake was zonked. "Jake I'm going to go see mom. I'll be back soon." He rolled over. I gave him a kiss and he did whisper my name – it sounded like a good dream but I had a mission. I called mom to meet me for coffee. I even heard Edward in the background discouraging her. Did he think that if I never talked to mom it wouldn't happen? Bella was smart, she wanted to know what we were both hiding from her. You can't fool mom. I told her I'd tell her when I saw her. I left Jake a note just in case he woke and headed to the coffee house. I ordered both a Caramel Latte and a White Mocha when mom sat down - that way I didn't look too greedy but still got to drink them both. She waited while I sipped and savoured.

"Should we walk?" I asked mom.

She grabbed one of the drinks and I the other and we headed to the park. I didn't know how to start. It had been much easier with Rosalie, though mom was being even more patient.

"Well…" I started. Bella sat on the grass and pulled me down beside her managing to catch my coffee in midair.

"Good one, mom."

"We're not here to talk about my reflexes, are we?" She was getting a little impatient. I shook my head and took another sip. Soon I'd be jittery – too much sugar and caffeine.

"Jake and I, well, we decided that soon we would start trying for a baby." I said. Might as well just get it out there.

And I waited.

This was not a good sign. Bella hadn't moved at all in the last minute.

"Mom?"

Damn. Maybe dad should have told her.

I started my spiel anyway. "I'll finish school, Rose said she'll help. Jake is working hard, he'll be done school next year. I just think it's time. There's a possibility that maybe we can't have a child. Jake and I will work through that if that's the case but we won't know for sure unless we try."

She still wasn't breathing.

"OK, mom. Enough. What happened to the parent talk. You're too young. You're just starting out. I know you're too smart to use the 'play the field' response, we're already engaged. There will only ever be Jake. Oh, then there's finish school, get a job, a house, save some money…um…"

Bella finally spoke "There's getting married."

"Married…we've already got a date. I'm ok with my daughter being a flower girl. Claire would like that."

"You've really thought this through."

"Mom. You've taught me how to make tough decisions. We could wait but then maybe everything in me ages faster than normal. I don't want to be twenty or twenty five – real time - and realize I missed a chance. I know you never wanted kids but I turned out ok. I think anyway. Maybe you'll like a granddaughter."

"That is a scary word, Ness. Granddaughter. And it's not as though I never wanted kids. I only wanted your dad and that seemed part of the deal at the time. You are the best daughter anyone could hope for Ness. But not all kids are so easy and they certainly don't grow up so fast. You'll have a lot of sacrifices and worries."

"The Volturi."

"NO. We'd take them. Aro knows better than to mess with us Cullens. Your daughter will be different. Will she be mortal? What will you do Ness?" Mom just looked at me. I knew she'd had exactly the same fears.

"Let her decide. Though it might not come down to that. Venom is fatal to Jake. We would love her for as long as we have. I have thought about it. But is it better to do nothing or take a chance? I wouldn't be here if you hadn't believed in me. I want to give the same kind of hope to a child of mine." Mom gave me a hug and, just like Rose and Jake she asked when?

"Soon. I just want to make sure Carlisle is ready. I told him I'd give him a couple years. I have to change that."

"Months?"

"I want to make sure Carlisle can handle any type delivery and we'll go from there. I'm not in that much of a rush but I wouldn't be upset if it happened tomorrow either."

"So you're telling me to be ready." I just nodded and then she added "I don't want to be called grandma."

"That's for Esme. Is Nana better?"

"No. That's what I called my grandmother."

"What then?"

"Bella."

"OK. Bella. But kids aren't always predictable; she might find her own name for you."

"You can still call me mom, Renesmee."

"Thanks, mom. I'm going to go wake Jake. Then, we're going to call Carlisle." I gave her a hug and a kiss but put a finger to her lips. She would tell me not so soon, or some other excuse, she gave me a hug and kissed my finger.

"I love you, Ness. And Jake too. And any future grandchild of mine. Listen to Carlisle please Nessie – I want you safe." I told her I would and that I'd make sure we had all our questions answered before we did anything rash, happy dad wasn't in the vicinity.

Jake was just stirring when I got home. I climbed back into bed and filled him in on my talk with mom and our next step.

After a thorough good morning kiss, Jake was the one to dial Carlisle. We planned to meet at the house at noon. I didn't really want the whole family in on our plans but in the grand scheme of things it was hard to keep secrets and I'm sure they would figure it out anyway. We headed to the house which was eerily quiet and found Carlisle in his office.

"Of course Ness, Jake, come in. Sit down. Edward and Bella have also been in and they decided everyone but me should go hunting today – I am getting the sense they feel this should not be a family conversation."

"So you know?"

"That you're talking about starting a family, yes."

"I just want to know…you said you needed to do a bit of studying …how long exactly do you think that will take? We were saying a few years the last time we talked but Jake and I hope it could be much sooner."

"I told you I'd be ready, Ness. If you do conceive you may not follow a nine month model, we'll have to figure it out. A natural birth, would be optimal. If we need to do a C-section – I can see a few problems, do you know what one of them would be?"

"Vampire skin."

Yes. We can't cut into it that would put venom in your system."

"Jake." I answered. That was an easy fix – we'd proven that twice. Jake still blushed.

Carlisle nodded. "We'll need a few fluid samples, for safety."

"Anything you need, Carlisle." Jake answered.

"And a C-section is very risky for you. You know there's a lot of blood flow. If we can't contain it we'd be looking at a hysterectomy or something else that's much more permanent."

"No! Not changed. Jake…" I had a sudden bout of absolute terror.

"If it will save you, Ness. Yes." Jake didn't hesitate.

"NO!"

"Nessie…" Jake looked pained.

"Ness, I can only give you the information, you need to decide what to do from here. Be sure to talk with Jake – it looks like he'll have a lot to say on the subject. None of us want to lose you – remember that. I don't want to scare you unnecessarily but you do need to know all the possible outcomes. There are so many unknowns, it's not my timeline that's important. It's yours. Your Dad stole all my new obstetrics texts last week so he's even more up to date than I am. You'll be in good hands. Now. A year from now. Ten years from now – whenever. The consequences will remain the same."

"Thank-you, Carlisle." That was Jake. I couldn't speak. We now knew.

"If you have more questions, I'll see what I can do to help." Carlisle said. I didn't want to stick around. There were so many thoughts in my head I didn't want dad to hear. I didn't even want to be thinking them.

Jake and I went home after our talk with Carlisle and as avoidance goes we did an incredible job of it. Not a mention of the whole conversation, ramifications or any discussion of the topic whatsoever. We talked of Christmas, plans for a New Year's Party on campus that I said I'd attend and our schedules next semester. We went for a long run on Sunday, hunting, climbing and running through the forest –free- because it was easier to connect with Jake as a wolf than a human. We skipped Sunday dinner, I briefly thought they'd believe they knew why but I wasn't going to correct them. And not once in three days did we talk of babies. Not once in three days did Jake touch me in bed. I was volunteering at the clinic while Jake was at work and the busy pace worked to keep me from ruminating until I got home. Monday night I studied and took notes for my new Bio class, whether we'd actually be covering the chapters I was reading was a moot point. I did think about Carlisle's arguments but I couldn't see a way through. The sentence 'venom is fatal to Jake' sealed it for me. I couldn't. On Tuesday we made dinner together in silence but still seemed to know exactly what the other needed – I handed him a knife, he grabbed me the pepper – to make a good chicken casserole, though it had nothing on Esme's cooking.

He went to bed shortly after supper but today I followed. Just like at the house I got into bed fully clothed and uttered the sentence that was usually used for the kiss of death of any relationship. It wouldn't be for us, I knew, but it was still hard to say. "Jake, we have to talk." It was like I ran the faucet – his words gushed out.

"I can't do it Ness. I can't lose you. Agree to the change…as a last resort. Otherwise, and I'm sorry, you'll hate me, I know, but I can't get you pregnant knowing you could die. I watched Bella…it was excruciating and it wasn't my fault. With you it would be a million times worse. I thought I understood what Edward was going through, now I know I didn't have clue. You said Carlisle can do it…talk to him, if it's just my baby you want." Jake had said his peace and had his head in his hands.

"You'll die, Jake! If I'm changed and I bite you you'll die. I can't…"

"I know quite a few vampires, Ness, and I've met many others. Not one of them has bitten me yet."

"No. But I have."

"You'll just have to contain your urges, Ness." This comment would have usually caused my favorite Jacob smile, today he looked tortured. "And you would be a little stronger than you are now - that might be fun."

"Fun, Jake? When I can rip you in two? Tear out your heart? Suck your blood?"

"I've heard my blood isn't any good."

"It is to me."

"You'll get over it."

"Isn't there an edict about turning any more humans?"

"Yes. That's easy, you're not human. And I think I could work around that, in any case."

He'd had three days to think his arguments through. I had to give him credit. All I did was nod.

"It would be a last resort, Ness. Like Carlisle said. A natural birth would make sense – vampire skin all around and only one way out – what baby wouldn't choose the obvious? And if she's stubborn, a little incision and then it's all sewn up. Our child would hopefully not need any additional blood supply decreasing the bleeding risk but if it's too much Edward and Carlisle should be fast enough to cauterize or clamp all the vessels. And if that's too much they will opt for the hysterectomy and we would be very happy to have one child to love. Only if none of that worked, you were still bleeding, dying, would they decide to change you."

"Jake. You attended one Bio class with me. Where did you learn all that?"

"Carlisle. And Edward. On the phone three nights in a row. They were very, very patient with me. "

"You really love me. Calling Edward. He doesn't like this any more than I do, I bet."

"He's scared. Any father would be. Right now he says he wouldn't do it without your permission and though I would want to bet he'd change his mind – the stakes for me are far too high to chance it. I won't. I'll go back to abstinence. Starting now."

"I thought that started three days ago. You won't even touch me. You will barely kiss me."

"I won't hurt you, Ness. I won't kill you."

"But I'd be dead."

"You'd exist. That is important to me. And we'd raise our child. Together."

"And you want to be with a vampire? You hate vampires."

"That is the past, Nessie. I love teasing Emmett not because of his reaction but because of yours. I would miss your blush but visiting with Billy would be less problematic. Even he has gotten over his prejudice. I will always love you; I have always loved you and a little bit of venom will not change that. Ever."

"It all sounds so easy, Jake, when you say it like that. Raising our child – what if I bit her…"

"Never, Ness. One newborn cannot take on eight mature vampires. I don't care how strong you'd be. And you already have practice at resisting human blood, I don't think you'd have to worry about being a typical newborn Ness; you've never been typical at anything in your life. "

We were having a conversation, an argument even, but I didn't see it coming when my tears started flowing. Jake was apologizing "Nessie, I meant it as a complement…" but that wasn't it. It suddenly hit me the lengths Jake had gone to develop his arguments, his calls to my family, his fear of my death and his wholehearted acceptance of me, now and if I had no choice but to become a vampire.

I kissed him through my tears. "Jake, I'm sorry. I love you. Talking about making a baby, starting a family, we should be happy. I love the idea of having a baby, your baby, growing inside of me. I want the focus to be on our child and not our fears. If your fear of losing me is even half the terror I felt when I thought I'd lost you I don't want to put you through that – I'll ask Edward. He should be the one. Though, like you said, only as an absolute last resort. My real hope is for a natural birth…so we can try again." I put on a little smile and cuddled closer. My fiancé.

Jake looked ready to shout out to the world. He pulled me to him and parted my lips but not before saying "as many as you want" when I had an image of our home with four little girls jumping on the back of a russet wolf and smiled. We cuddled into bed, tired from our discussion and life changing outcome. Now was not the time to call Edward or ask ourselves when, maybe we'd do that tomorrow. I drifted to sleep with dreams of our children, then our child, then of myself with crimson eyes fading to golden with Jake always by my side.


	47. Chapter 46: Consequences and Promises

**Consequences and Promises**

I woke, rested for the first time, after days of tossing and turning. I don't know if I'd come to terms with a remote chance of becoming a vampire or if it was just that Jake was cuddled into my side once again. He was so warm and I cuddled closer right into a good morning kiss from Jake.

"Morning, Jake. 'Sleep well?"

"Very well, Ness. I've missed you."

"How much?"

"More that I could tell you in the next half hour."

"More than you could show me?" I hinted, kissing him again.

"Much." He said. He kissed me back but he wasn't taking the bait. I was more than ready but I didn't want to push him, so I toddled off to the bathroom for a cold shower. I had just stepped in and rinsed when I felt a hand on my shoulder and Jake stepped under the cool running water still wearing his jeans cradling me to his body. "Not yet, Ness. But I didn't want to miss this." He proceeded to wash me; lingering with the body wash over my nipples and between my legs. I warmed at his touch but the most intimate moment was Jake's small circular touch on my belly slow, deliberate, then growing. I turned towards him for a kiss then looked for and explanation.

"So are you torturing me?"

"I prefer to look at it as very early foreplay."

I quivered with anticipation "Tonight?"

Jake nodded into my neck "Tonight."

He took off his jeans as soon as I left the shower and the cold shower was making no difference for him either. A minute brush from my fingertip would have caused him to explode. He knew it too as he shook his head and turned his back to me. I had already promised the clinic I'd be there every day this week. Otherwise, I would have called Rosalie to let her know Jake wouldn't be in today.

I reluctantly left Jake alone in the shower, naked. I got dressed, grabbed a meal replacement bar out of the pantry for both Jake and I, we'd have to go out for lunch. I was thinking I'd have to get better at meal planning if we were going to have another mouth to feed.

Jake was finally dressed and I gave him his bar and just a little kiss. "What are we doing for dinner, Jake?"

"How about the Italian place on Main?"

"Luigi's?"

"That's it."

"I like it. Should we run first?"

"Sure. Can you meet me at work?"

"Sounds good. I'll call for a reservation." Jake nodded and I gave him a kiss goodbye. A reservation was a good idea, maybe preventing us from returning home and skipping dinner. We had to eat and Luigi's was certainly a few steps up from a meal replacement bar.

I really was trying to avoid running into Carlisle when I got to the clinic but no such luck. He picked up on my good mood immediately. "So I guess you patched things up with Jake?" Why did he have to be so damn perceptive?

"Yeah, grandpa. We're good."

"Can we invite you two over for dinner? Esme has been watching the cooking channel all week and she has a few recipes she wants to try out." Tempting, but we had a date.

"Sorry, Carlisle. We've made plans, but we're still good for Sunday, ok?"

"I'll let Esme know. Everyone misses you."

"Tell them I miss them too. Even Emmett. Love you."

"Love you too, Ness. Do me a favor and ask if you can see the two girls in hall A. One is pregnant with an STI and the other they were just running a pregnancy test – she's not pregnant – but I can't tell her before the lab results get back. I think she'll be relieved but would probably like some moral support."

"Will do. Though while we're on the topic of pregnancy tests, can you please tell everyone that if it happens for me I'd like to learn about it on my own. Not because of your senses. And for it to be in a more natural way than blood or urine tests."

"As long as you are not in danger, we will all let you be, that's my promise." I thanked him and Carlisle gave me a hug then basically vanished into thin air. However much I didn't want to become a vampire I could still appreciate the skills that came as part of the deal. I did see the two girls Carlisle mentioned: the nurse for Kelly, had already reviewed her medication needs and sexual history. I gave her my spiel about safer sex and samples reinforcing the need to complete her prescription. She thanked me but left the building in a hurry, some lab work still pending. Where was dad when you actually needed him? Wait. Didn't Carlisle say she was pregnant? I hoped Kelly would return. By the time I got in to see Jenn she was freaking out. After I introduced myself, we got to know each other a little bit, she calmed a little and was able to voice her fears. She was worried about her future, finishing school and her boyfriend. I tested the waters about raising a child, she wasn't interested in the slightest. We were the same age but at completely different places in our lives. I tried to reassure her trying to focus on the future and what she would do if the test did come back negative. She had plans for a career in design, travelling and then settling down in New York. The nurse then knocked at the door with a folded piece of paper. She asked Jenn if she'd rather I tell her or herself and I was a little flattered Jenn picked me. I sat and Jenn gripped the sides of the chair so tight her knuckles were white. I put the paper on the counter and just grabbed her hands.

"Jenn, breathe. That's better. Now here's the thing with news – sometimes what you want to hear is what you do hear but you're still upset anyway and the reverse is also true. Keep an open mind. OK?" She nodded.

"Do you want to see the results or do you want me to peak?" She tilted her head to me.

"That way you can catch me when I faint." I got up and handed her a glass of water.

"This will help." She had a sip and I went to open the page. Positive. Shit! Not possible. Carlisle gets nothing wrong. Then I looked at the name –Kelly. I was both worried and relieved. "Tell me Ness." It looked like she was very confused with the expressions on my face. "Sorry, Jenn, the results are for a different patient. I'm going to track yours down." I refilled her water glass and apologized again before I left the room. When I found the nurse she was apologetic but glad I caught it. Glad didn't even cut it. Printing off the correct results I smiled. I was right about Carlisle. When the nurse nearly ran in to the room I had to stop her, giving her Kelly's results to follow-up on – the girl had to know. Jenn was again gripping the chair. "Tell me" she choked but stood. "Jenn you are not pregnant." I told her and went to catch her anyway. I knew from personal experience and I wasn't wrong. She started heaving. "I know, Jenn, I know." I figured I'd been there and it was even harder because I could imagine this being the result for me forever.

"If you do ever want kids, Jenn, you have lots of time. But I'll be your decision."

"I didn't believe you, Ness. But you were right. I thought I'd be ecstatic but I'm …I don't know…I'm mixed up…does that make sense?"

"Perfectly. Are you going to be ok to get home? I could take you."

"I should be ok. Can I have a few minutes? I'll find you if I need to, ok? Can I come back if I need advice?"

"We're open all the time. I'm usually only here a couple nights a week during school, but we're here all here to help." I left her feeling a total rush of emotions myself – mixed up was probably a good description on her part. I went for a light lunch and a quick 20 mile run – the opposite direction of the garage. I wanted to see Jake but knew better. The run helped me get myself back in check.

I called for our reservation and then I called Edward before heading back to work to thank him for talking to Jake.

"He was pretty persistent, Ness. He worries a lot about you. Not exactly topics I want to talk about with Jake but I guess I have to get over it."

"Yeah, my uterus. A touchy topic for all."

"And Bella."

"What about Bella?"

"Let's just leave this between Jake and me, OK?"

"I'll just ask him."

"He asked me if Bella was different after the change. Though I don't know if I did the answer justice – saying both yes and no. Bella is still herself but now that I don't have conflicting emotions it's easier to let go; to love her. Completely…" ok that was more than enough, I coughed. But then my discomfort caught up to Jake's question and the reason he would have been asking.

"Oh….he was wondering if I was changed." First my thoughts terrified me. Making love to Jake as a vampire. I could hurt him, kill him. NO! But then the thought of his burning skin on my frozen form had me going a lot of places I should so not be going…elevated senses to Jake's every touch had my pulse racing. Something I liked. A racing heart, my breathlessness…neither possible as a vampire.

"Yes, Ness that it what he asked." Dad could only answer my spoken words. I was thankful he was nowhere nearby.

"I don't want it dad. I'm scared for Jake. For my baby that doesn't even exist." I took a deep breath. "But I just promised Jake. And only if nothing else can be done, ok? Could you…do it?" My dad let out a breath I didn't know he was holding. That he didn't need to be holding. And he sounded hoarse.

"I know, Ness. That was a tough decision for you, wasn't it? Of course, I will and you don't need to worry about Jake. I have confidence in you and we'd all be there…in case. I have to tell your mom. She's been very worried. We had a vote - whether to change you if didn't want it– it was tied. Your mom and I voted against it. Three days, Ness – you could have called before today. Bella has been looking at coffins online-she's been a mess. She even asked me to spy on you, she wasn't being rational and was upset with me when I wouldn't. It's not easy, Ness, but I promise you there are more good days than bad. Hopefully, we won't need to worry about it at all." I thanked dad for everything, silently wondering who in my family would keep me around against my free will. Not Rosalie. Not Carlisle. So everyone else, it made sense really and I wouldn't call them out on it. I walked back to the clinic to chaos.

The rest of the day the clinic was bombarded with clients – wounds, illnesses, a horrible fracture that the clinic couldn't deal with and had to be airlifted to the trauma centre. My finger was set to call Carlisle a half-dozen times but the doctors and nurses, even the new ones, did a good job of handling all the emergencies. I touched base with Jenn and she just gave me a hug of thanks before she left swearing she would be fine. By four I was beat and the manager caught me in the hall. It turns out the nurse owned up to her mistake and I was being praised for saving the clinic a big legal nightmare. I waved it off but did take her up on her offer to leave early. Jake. I was incredibly optimistic about tonight as I headed over to the garage.


	48. Chapter 47: Baby Time

Baby Time

I got to the garage and Jake was struggling to loosen a bolt on a cute older model sports car, I just watched him because it was adorable. He succeeded and lifted the cover and it looked like his struggle was worth it as he proceeded to fix a problem far beyond my scope. He hadn't yet noticed me and seemed intent on his project. I was intent on Jake. I started undressing him with my eyes and when I was down to his boxers he finally looked up.

"Ness!" he bounded over to me to give me a little kiss. "Have you been here long?" I shyly told him what I'd been up to and he honestly blushed. I gave him a better kiss and put my hand up his shirt, then Rosalie walked around the corner.

Rosalie went to open her mouth but shut it again. She's learning.

"I'll wait for you Jake. Then we'll run to the bridge?" It was only ten miles, but I wanted to run with Jake, not the wolf. He nodded and kissed me, paying no attention to Rosalie. I went to sit on the couch and started reading but Jake had to nudge me awake.

"Are you too tired, Ness? Should we go home instead?" I stood and stretched but shook my head.

"I just need some fresh air, Jake." It was crisp out, a little icy in patches but just nice to stretch and relax after a full day of work. It was only a little suspension bridge over a small gully but it was picturesque and quiet – until Jake started shaking the bridge.

"Jake!"

"Are you scared, Ness?" About the bridge, no. But there was plenty to be scared of.

"If I say yes will you hold me?" he quickly pulled me to him, kissing me, cradling me to his body.

"Always, Nessie." He knew I wasn't really scared, it didn't matter. I could have held him there forever but we had to run home and get ready for dinner. There would be a way to shower and leave with the way I was feeling. I hoped. He shook the bridge again holding me and I imagined taking Jake right where we were; the bouncing bridge was already doing wonderful things to our bodies…

"Let's go, Jake. Our dinner reservation is at six thirty." I wanted more time with Jake than a quickie on an icy bridge, not to mention the chill factor.

"Race you." I said and then kissed him. He grumbled already knowing he was defeated. I do have few vampiresque skills. I showered and changed even before Jake made it home. I picked out Jake's clothes and left them and a towel in the bathroom. I was just finishing making the bed with new sheets when Jake came in. I didn't let him pounce on the bed because I knew I'd want to join him, instead showing him into the bathroom and closing the door behind him even though he tried to pull me in.

We were ready to go in ten minutes and pulled up to the restaurant at six twenty seven leaving us three precious minutes to talk.

"I called Edward. Told him. Asked him. He said he would." My cryptic words were enough. Jake gripped my hand in his.

"Thank-you, Ness." He tried to blink but I whisked away a tear.

"Jake. I love you. I don't want to hurt you. Edward said something today – he said the family was divided on changing me if I didn't agree. You would have been the tie breaker, Jake. What would you have voted?"

"Let's go for dinner, Ness. Please don't make me answer."

"You would have done it." I was certain. Jake nodded reluctantly.

"You would have hated me. I wouldn't have cared. Edward had already told me he wouldn't. I was hoping he might change his mind if the time came but I couldn't bet my life - your life – on it. I'm sorry for being an ass the last few days."

"I should apologize too, Jake. It's not an excuse, but I am scared – about this. About everything that's unknown for us. I'm glad I have you to help me through. Though never again will we wait three days to talk about anything, right?" He agreed, gave me a kiss and helped me out of the car. We were a little late for our reservation, but at least we made it.

Jake ordered something that sounded odd to me called osso bucco; I ordered the more straightforward chicken cacciatore. We wound up sharing and both dishes were delicious. We also had tiramisu cake for dessert to cap off a beautiful evening. When we left I thought we'd head home and I was starting to shake. It had been a very long time since I'd been nervous to go to bed with Jake. He turned off the road at the mall and headed to the cinema.

"You're tense Ness. Relax. Let's go to a movie." Jake pulled me out of the car and into the theatre.

We got back home after the movie, still laughing about the absurdity of the plot in the name of comedy as we walked up the stairs. The second we closed the door behind us and rearmed the alarm the atmosphere changed. Jake pulled me into the bedroom and started undressing me as well as himself, I helped with my bra and his boxers and Jake scooped me up and placed me within the sheets. So many days without him and I was acutely aware of every caress. We kissed and I felt it ripple through my body pulling him on top of me willing every inch of our bodies to touch. He nibbled on my ear causing me to buck no matter his calming touch or whispers. I begged, Jake kissed me. I pleaded, he caressed me. He licked my nipples and sucked causing me to arch again. He looked down intent on following with his mouth and tongue, but I pulled him to my lips instead.

"Tonight, Ness? A baby, Ness. Our baby?" he asked, I nodded. I saw him eye our condom drawer but I guided his gaze back to mine.

"Jacob. I want your baby. I want you, forever." He kissed me on my lower lip whispering I love you and looking into my pleading eyes as he slowly and gently nudged at my vagina and slid inside me as deeply as he could cradling my buttocks in his hands. We sighed simultaneously reveling in the moment with no barrier to prevent nature's plan.

"OH, Ness." He was so warm and I couldn't imagine moving from this very space forever. Jake seemed have the same thought. We just watched each other; it was minutes before he kissed me and in response I pulled him even closer, pressing myself into him. Short thrusts and long kisses; we could barely part as our urgency rose. Jake was panting and pressing against me.

"Nessie…Nessie…NESSIE!" I could feel each quiver from Jake and the warm liquid released deep into my body. I shook with him moaning his name. We quieted, still joined, and listened to each other's raged breathing. Jake kissed me again and my lips joined his; still connected below Jake filled me immediately which I was not expecting and I squealed with shock and desire. We usually had certain things to take care of before we could continue; today that was not a concern. Jake kept me under him, showing his prowess with a quick release. He was eager to pull out to pleasure me in other ways. I pulled him down wanting his seed.

"Jake, I love you" I kissed him over and over causing him to respond again. "How often do you think we can do this?" The man I know doesn't back down from a challenge. And he was confident.

"Ness, we do have seven hours..."

"I need you more than sleep Jake. Please." I would have resorted to more begging but Jake pulled me to him again and again. I lost count clinging to him, not wanting our bodies to separate. He rolled me onto him and with extraordinary kisses and caresses as he lulled me to sleep.

I woke where I'd slept, nuzzled against Jake's neck my body covering his. Pressing into him he was still responding and my reaction to his caused him to stir; I moved my body with his causing a dangerously good morning though it was not yet sunrise.

A few hours later Jake felt it was his duty to mention his tally was higher than mine. I didn't know he was keeping track. At first I was reluctant for him to move even though all of my muscles were stiff. Jake winced as he uncoupled us and I looked at him with concern. I might have to take better care of that muscle in particular.

"Relax, Ness. Do you want to sleep or …" he asked as his fingers found my clitoris, already swelling at his touch. The swelling, arching and my crying out "Oh, Jake!" put sleep on the back burner again. He thrust his fingers in and I tightened. He followed below with his tongue as I quivered again and again. Then, it seemed as if the sensation of pleasure was without end. He could feel the pulses around his tongue.

"Ohhhhh."

Jake was caressing my cheek with concern when I finally opened my eyes but in response to my smile he grinned kissing me. He straddled me wanting to know "Again, Ness?" Had I ever turned Jake down? I didn't think so. But I just wanted to remember this forever. I touched his cheek and showed him why. I was interrupted by a warm rush of fluid between my legs.

I lifted my hand and looked at Jake. He was blushing and looking around for what I presumed would be a towel. I pulled him beside me as I sat up a little running my fingers through his semen.

"Wow. Jake."

"Umm."

"Do you want to see the rest, Jake?" I showed him and we were both stickier as a result.

I used the top sheet to clean us both and pulled Jake to the shower, when he glanced at the clock in panic. "Ness, it's five minutes to eight!"

He ran the water rinsed himself and grabbed a towel. "You shower, Ness. I'll find you some clothes then call Rose." He kissed me.

"She'll be thrilled, you know. I'll come by tonight to help out." I ran in quickly soaping and rinsing and did a quick shampoo. I dressed quickly, Jake had found me my favorite blouse and jeans. I gave Jake a quick kiss and an I love you and was out the door making it into clinic only two minutes after eight. If this was baby-making we are going to really enjoy the process. We'd just have to remember to set an alarm clock. I have serious plans to pick up exactly where we left off when I get Jake home.

I was very glad I'd missed Carlisle, Jake's scent would no doubt still be all over me, one place in particular and I didn't want him to know yet. Jake and I didn't even have time to talk about it. I got to work immediately. Most of the volunteers had taken Christmas off which is why I was putting in so many hours. I was learning a lot and today after a few catch up jobs of cleaning and sorting toys in the waiting room and stocking supplies I was able to spend the better part of the morning in the immunization clinic. The flu had hit pretty hard this year and though it was a little late for the vaccine there was quite the line up at the door. Better late than never. I was tasked with holding kids if the parents were too nervous themselves and handing out smiley face stickers when they were done. The stickers were ugly and the band-aids generic –the kids were all screaming, we needed to make this more fun.

I took an early lunch and went to the pharmacy to buy some adorable princess and superhero stickers along with some character band-aids. I really should be taking better care of my body and not skipping breakfast was on the top of my list – I picked out a ready-made sandwich and a milk, healthy as packaged food goes. Also as I went through the vitamin aisle I picked up some maternity vitamins. I didn't think they'd hurt me but it was another thing to ask Carlisle. I ate my sandwich and drank the milk as I walked back. I put the vitamins in my pocket (I didn't want the nurses asking questions) and carried my stash of goodies back into the clinic. The line ups weren't getting shorter and the kids were getting louder. I gave each of the nurses two boxes of band-aids and some stickers - the kids who were crying looked intrigued; the nurses grateful. I brought some toys from the main waiting room and that quieted the line-up as well. So I spent the afternoon holding babies (good practice, I thought), handing out stickers and playing with toys. So many of the parents were thankful and told me how good I was with kids. Maybe it's because it wasn't so long ago that I was a kid myself but I had so much fun with all the kids that I was shocked when quarter to five came and we had to shut the line down until Monday morning. It was a good thing I bought out the store – there were a few stickers and band-aids left but not enough to get through the next week. I'd check a few stores or maybe ask about a supplier – I'm a sucker for happy kids.

I got to the garage and made a snap decision (since Rose already knew) – I threw the vitamins at her. "Think I should take these, Rose?" she did almost have her medical degree and I knew she kept up on things like this even though it pained her. I hoped she'd be ok if Jake and I do manage to make it happen. I made a mental note to talk with her again about it without Jake and Emmett listening in.

She caught the bag mid-air as she leapt to hug me. "Your man can be an hour late for work anytime, Ness." She hadn't opened the bag but there was no doubt she caught Jake's scent.

"Rose, that's not what I asked. You promised." I reminded her. I wondered if she really could tell how much semen was actually in my body. Not a question I was going to ask.

"Sorry." She took her time and read the label. "Might be a good idea, Ness. Of course these are for human consumption. Your folate levels – both your plasma and red blood cell levels – have been normal on all your labs but pregnant or nursing you should probably take a little extra."

"Thanks, Rose."

Jake was patient during my conversation, but when we were done he kissed me carefully to avoid getting me greasy. "Missed you." He said with an undertone I couldn't miss. I could have taken him then and there. We didn't exactly finish things properly this morning. I kissed his nose quickly with a "Me too" and ran to change into one of Jake's old shirts and calm my raging hormones. I put my blouse in the vitamin bag after taking a vitamin and before tackling an oil change. Jake was still working on some wiring on the sports car from yesterday. I didn't know what he was doing so offering to help would likely just take him twice as long as would need to walk me through it. Instead I went to talk with Raelynn – she was happy to have a five day break at Christmas and her son was in the school play that night. There was only ten minutes left so I told her I'd get the phones if she wanted to head out and she was extremely grateful. When she left I organized the candy and checked the stock. I was surprise at how well my project was going – we were certainly making quite nice donations to the clinic every week. I booked two appointments for the following week and by then it was nearly time to head home. Jake popped his head in to kiss me again telling me he'd be ready after his shower. My innocent question "Can you shower at home?" wasn't so innocent.

We took off with a quick good-bye and a 'see you on Sunday' to Em and Rose.

When got home we jumped into the shower picking up from the morning caressing one another. Jake reluctantly confessed under the running water what exactly had made him an hour late for work – he had to change not once, but twice as he ejaculated in his pants thinking of our morning and my memories. Even his confession caused a Jake to swell, and I guided him into me before it was too late. We soaped and shampooed still connected, then Jake took me to bed still dripping wet as he pleasured me, I pleasured him and we pleasured each other. We took to the shower again, finally rinsing and drying. Jake managed to don a pair of boxers. He headed to the kitchen to start dinner while I dried my hair, put on some of the lingerie Jake hadn't yet seen me in and then covered up with a nightie that was a bit on the short side. I was more than a little interested to see his reaction. Jake was just finishing preparing a chicken bake so I opened the oven for him. I crouched down staying covered though Jake reacted spectacularly all the same. He sighed.

"Jake, should I put on something else?" He should his head, he was panting a little. I love what I do to him.

"Just give me a second." I could see it shrink and was disappointed. I had to focus on methodically setting the table though occasionally my thoughts made their way to Jake and I naked right where I was placing the water glasses. Jake was preparing the veggies and I figured it couldn't hurt to give him a little kiss. We managed to kiss in the kitchen and I put on the rice noticing a new swell in Jake's shorts. Part of me loved our heightened sexuality; another part was dreading Sunday dinner with the family. I suppose if they could pretend to be oblivious to Jake and me in my bedroom they could also pretend to not notice both of us having orgasms at the dinner table just by eyeing one another.

"Jake, while the rice is cooking I'm going to do the laundry."

Jake had to carefully exhale yet again when he said "I've got a load in there. Can you please put it in the dryer?"

I threw his stuff in the dryer and stripped the bed again. The sheets were soaked from the shower and our recent sojourn; I even had to add the mattress cover to the load. I added all the towels we'd used that day and started up the machine. I made up the bed with a beach towel under the sheets knowing the cover couldn't go in the dryer. I cleaned up the bathroom and Jake was just serving the plates when I emerged.

"Smells delicious Jake" I said and it was. We could cook with a little time and effort and I decided we would start right away preparing for the week. We put the leftovers into take and go containers to freeze them, perfect lunch for Monday when we were usually running late.

We lay on the couch watching TGIF on TV, most of the shows were decent and then at ten we turned to the movie channel where the old comedy Junior with Arnold Schwarzenegger was just starting. Jake and I were in hysterics throughout the movie, mostly about how it paralleled our life and I kept telling Jake to watch out for all the symptoms. Jake even volunteered to have our child if it were ever possible. Given that we do have forever I might wind up taking his offer seriously, someday.

When I tried to pull Jake off the couch he couldn't move. Oops. My short nightie had ridden up above my teal lace naughty-panties without a crotch. He was already leaking when I removed his boxers and slid him inside me, bending down to kiss him and ask him what he thinks of my lingerie. I didn't get a coherent answer but I did pull off my nightie, gliding myself up and down ever so slowly along his shaft. I felt his release before he noticed, his gaze intent on me. He pulled me down to him stroking my back as he finished. He kissed me and carried me to bed and I stand corrected – he didn't finish. Jake was just getting started. We fell asleep just as the sun was rising.


End file.
